Auburn Posted December 8, 2020 Posted December 8, 2020 AUBURN’S REVIEWS @Hug - DON’T-ASK-ME Not sure if you were going for a k-pop vibe with this one, but I definitely felt it. The lyrics are succinct, all very very tight. Nice job. (Your song sounds great btw! Also screaming at the fact that the CTTR “demo” was the song that autoplayed on soundcloud after yours) @Rence - echoed footsteps I mean, I always get a rush of emotion when I read your songs, especially by the end, and this is no exception. Very relatable but also specific to you, which I love. (Both covers are beautiful xo) @funnellegs - summer is forever While I was reading this I felt like my world was bathed in golden light, so good imagery on your part. I think what you have here is good, but it does feel like it ends a bit abruptly/prematurely for me. @Dessy - Nuclear Wheel of Damocles (Vainglory of the Ten Tenacious Sins) Well this is very unexpected imo. I think it’s an interesting concept and you’ve fleshed out a base very nicely, but it is a bit short to feel like a story has really developed fully. @keshaspearsxo - I W t M W F C a G I love the way you’ve conceptualized the thoughts many of us have about religion, etc here. It’s unique and endearing, without sounding preachy or judgmental in either direction. Eloquent. @Posh Spice - Hot Girl Saturn Okayyyy this is lit omfg! I think this might be my favorite song from you so far. Yaaasss! @8thPrince - Who Owns the Sky? I really love this concept. It’s a classic theme with a unique twist applied to it. It reads as a story very nicely, so great job! ------------------------------ Everyone did a great job this round again! Sad to see anyone go at this point Sorry for short reviews but it's the end of my semester in the next little bit so I will be very busy lol!
Hug Posted December 8, 2020 Posted December 8, 2020 My whole concept this week was K-Pop girl group, so I will definitely take the compliment! <3 Thank you auburn. ? (That "CTTR" demo slaps, it's the Ma Ma Pa Pa Pa to Katy's Perfect Illusion methinks!)
fountain Posted December 9, 2020 Posted December 9, 2020 On 12/8/2020 at 8:44 AM, Auburn said: @keshaspearsxo - I W t M W F C a G I love the way you’ve conceptualized the thoughts many of us have about religion, etc here. It’s unique and endearing, without sounding preachy or judgmental in either direction. Eloquent. I am so glad you said this in particular... I really believe a middle ground perspective is the best in dealing with these themes. There is so much contention and volatility on both sides. I feel like anybody who truly pines for the truth, or actually wants to appreciate the possibilities, exists within a shared space. Where there isn’t any condemnation.
Auburn Posted December 9, 2020 Posted December 9, 2020 8 hours ago, keshaspearsxo said: I am so glad you said this in particular... I really believe a middle ground perspective is the best in dealing with these themes. There is so much contention and volatility on both sides. I feel like anybody who truly pines for the truth, or actually wants to appreciate the possibilities, exists within a shared space. Where there isn’t any condemnation. Definitely agree with you there, it can be hard to find that balance sometimes too
ughgabriel Posted December 11, 2020 Author Posted December 11, 2020 (edited) SIDE-@Hug - DON’T ASK ME Spoiler I think this was a really sweet approach and it was very well executed. There’s a very wholesome and optimistic vibe within the entirety of the song which is perfect for the essence of the round. I really enjoyed your verses and, I thought, the self reference to Rainbow of the Night was so cute; I’m a sucker for self referential lines if I’m quite honest. I think the first part of the chorus is a good central piece for your song since it encapsulates the idea of it, but I don’t think the second part of it adds much. I understand that it gives a more “melodic” feel, but lyric wise it’s no elevating it, in my opinion. I also think most of the lines in the verses are lovely and charming, but I do have to say that, to me, the “since love never dies…” line on verse 2 came across as a little corny :( @Rence - echoed footsteps Spoiler Hello? I just talked about how I love self referential lines and then I got to read your song, wow. It has nothing to do with the song but I think it’s really cool that this song is the 6th track on the album considering the first 5. Honestly I love everything about this song, it’s nostalgic, but at the same time it feels like the protagonist is coming to terms with these situations, or at least, more so than in the others songs you’ve sent. I really want to highlight the “you’re only thirteen…” and “it wasn’t much for the world…” lines. They’re just so good and are easy contenders for one liner of the season, especially the first one. @funnellegs - summer is forever Spoiler I think the approach you took was maybe the most interesting because it feels like you created a world instead of basing it off of something. I mean, yeah, you took the good elements from your life but then created a different one in your afterlife which was a really cool idea. I think this was very existential and poetic. Your imagery was beautiful but in a very subtle and calming way, which is very fitting to your dreaming of death concept. I think the non conventional structure also worked in your favor in this song. I do have to say that I wish this was a little longer cause right when it felt like I was being pulled into this world you created, the song was about to end, so I wish I could’ve had a bigger experience. I think adding a couple of sections would’ve benefited your song. @Dessy - Nuclear Wheel of Damocles (Vainglory of the Ten Tenacious Sins) Spoiler I think it’s pretty easy to picture a big, kind of aggressive melody for a song about racing. I think that is a really fun concept! Honestly, I’m a little confused on what your vision of what the perfect world was in here. Cause I don’t know if the protagonist was just in love with being on the road, with exploring, with speed, or with something else. I thought it was a little hard to figure out, given that you went with a shorter song and it didn’t give me enough to understand the direction or meaning behind of the lines. I honestly love the way you’ve been creating a conceptual album with all these characters you incorporate in your songs (Damocles being directly related to Dionysius). @keshaspearsxo - I W t M W F C a G Spoiler I loved the concept and the titular line. I think I’ve said this before but I think you have a very philosophical style when it comes to your writing. And it shows a lot when you serve these insightful type of songs. This song actually feels very conversational, like a monologue, or someone who you’re talking to is just expressing their point of view. I think this is quite different and innovative in a way that I really dig. I think this song also has a handful of great, great couplets and one liners: “truth is…”, “but i still think…” and, again, the titular line. I honestly feel like I was transported into this coffee shop from my city and I was just listening to your argument and it was just inviting me to have a conversation. I don’t know, it was very vivid. I think that plays to your favor cause it makes the reader feel like this is directed at them. This is really unique in a great way! @Posh Spice - Hot Girl Saturn Spoiler Ok, this is so so fun and kinda iconic if I’m honest? The meter and pacing is so good and I can picture all the different flows when reading it, it translated so well. And the way everything is so cohesive! I couldn’t stop smiling when reading it Spoiler I bet that's what you would've liked to read, huh? Sorry, this is just not my cup of tea but I see how some people would enjoy Spoiler jk, everything i said is true x From a technical standpoint, the structure is flawless. There are some line that I felt were a little corny in comparison. Well, maybe it isn’t even that, but I felt like Megan’s verse was weaker compared to Doja’s. But it’s still iconic and the galactic thong line sent me. This is Pretty Girls meets WAP meets Lady Marmalade. @8thPrince - Who Owns the Sky? Spoiler This is the second song with this concept this round and this is just as well done! Your approach is way different and relies a lot on imagery which is always very appreciated cause you create this story through images that the reader will start creating in their mind. I really thought you did a great job and the opening couplet was really beautiful. It immediately made me picture something very beautiful. I kind of thought this would’ve been a perfect fit for MJ’s HIStory album (it feels like a lyrical sister to “They don’t care about us” and “History” [song]). Edited December 11, 2020 by ughgabriel
Dessy Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 32 minutes ago, ughgabriel said: look oral sex hot
fountain Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 59 minutes ago, ughgabriel said: I loved the concept and the titular line. I think I’ve said this before but I think you have a very philosophical style when it comes to your writing. And it shows a lot when you serve these insightful type of songs. This song actually feels very conversational, like a monologue, or someone who you’re talking to is just expressing their point of view. I think this is quite different and innovative in a way that I really dig. I think this song also has a handful of great, great couplets and one liners: “truth is…”, “but i still think…” and, again, the titular line. I honestly feel like I was transported into this coffee shop from my city and I was just listening to your argument and it was just inviting me to have a conversation. I don’t know, it was very vivid. I think that plays to your favor cause it makes the reader feel like this is directed at them. This is really unique in a great way! Hi, thank you!
fountain Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 1 hour ago, ughgabriel said: I should perform my song there for them I hope and believe that it too would make “some white stuff” and blood come out of their private parts
Dessy Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 oops. Thanks Gabe, I definitely concur with you and the others that I could've expanded some more to offer more of a picture.
ughgabriel Posted December 11, 2020 Author Posted December 11, 2020 Well Courtney Love unfortunately will not be able to post critiques but I got their rankings, would you like results rn?
fountain Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 1 hour ago, ughgabriel said: Well Courtney Love unfortunately will not be able to post critiques but I got their rankings, would you like results rn? I guess I am the only one here but I will commit to spamming if you want to do them now.
Hug Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 1 hour ago, ughgabriel said: Well Courtney Love unfortunately will not be able to post critiques but I got their rankings, would you like results rn? Yeah let's rip the bandaid off ?
ughgabriel Posted December 11, 2020 Author Posted December 11, 2020 We're about to start <3 @Hug @Dessy @Posh Spice @Rence @8thPrince @keshaspearsxo @funnellegs omg the talent in this top 7
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