Prisoner Posted January 1, 2021 Posted January 1, 2021 So I have been really busy at home these days and also went and got my cat spayed so it's been a pretty busy and stressful couple of days for me. I apologize for the shorter reviews and I thank you all for being so patient. 1. Hug - "We Can't Be Friends" Spoiler This is just a simple breakup song but something about the way you wrote this makes it feel very special. I love the conversational tone to this and how every single line comes off as natural and not contrived. As usual from you this season, this song is yet another entry that manages to read like a real pop song and I can easily see the lyrics being set to the tune of a top 40 radio single. Good work and Happy New Year! 2. funnellegs - "10th of august 2008" Spoiler This is such an emotionally charged entry and as usual, you did amazing with the specifics and the details to make your song a really identifiable entry. The voice you used here is so tender and delicate, I think you did a really great job at carrying the emotions to the reader. That last stanza especially is very effective at that, it's a gem. Good work and Happy New Year! 3. Rence - "ballad of the warrior" Spoiler Not a literal epic, I can't believe I'd get to see this from you. I have lots of things I want to say about this but I'll keep it short. I really love how the story progresses and the way it doesn't drag on but flows seamlessly. It has all the elements of a full epic tale but condensed here in one song, a rather long one but not too long so it's pretty impressive. I love the details, the plot twists, the voice, it's all very good. Good work and Happy New Year! 4. keshaspearsxo - "S" Spoiler This is such an engaging piece of entry, I couldn't pause reading this and want even more despite it being long enough for a song. This reads like a really nice train of thought that just goes on and on without looping around, it's phenomenal in a way tbh. I especially really like the part about the best friend you hope is still a good person, it just hits me really hard because that's something we all can relate to. Good work and Happy New Year! 5. 8th Prince - "7-Month Calendar" Spoiler I love the setting and the scene you portrayed here; two people at a Waffle house with a strange sense of unfamiliarity in the air despite being once so close, you did this amazingly imo. I really like the tone and the mood, this song feels like a scene from a movie or a book where we really get a peek into the characters minds. The emotions and thoughts are very well portrayed. Good work and Happy New Year! @Hug @funnellegs @Rence @keshaspearsxo @8thPrince
Hug Posted January 1, 2021 Posted January 1, 2021 I'm just surprised this game isn't actually dead dskjds lemme actually read however
Prisoner Posted January 1, 2021 Posted January 1, 2021 Just now, Hug said: I'm just surprised this game isn't actually dead dskjds lemme actually read however askalaljsjk I actually thought the round would go on without me but I guess everyone's just busy, I'm the first to post reviews
Prisoner Posted January 1, 2021 Posted January 1, 2021 On 12/21/2020 at 9:58 PM, keshaspearsxo said: wait, @Prisoner hasn't been online since the 7th? has anybody heard from him? thank you for the concern. do you still want a name change btw?
Rence Posted January 1, 2021 Posted January 1, 2021 Thank you Prisoner. Happy New Year! and welcome back
Prisoner Posted January 1, 2021 Posted January 1, 2021 7 minutes ago, Rence said: Thank you Prisoner. Happy New Year! and welcome back thank you
fountain Posted January 1, 2021 Posted January 1, 2021 19 minutes ago, Prisoner said: This is such an engaging piece of entry, I couldn't pause reading this and want even more despite it being long enough for a song. This reads like a really nice train of thought that just goes on and on without looping around, it's phenomenal in a way tbh. I especially really like the part about the best friend you hope is still a good person, it just hits me really hard because that's something we all can relate to. Good work and Happy New Year! You’re alive not you making a comeback AND being the only one to do reviews. Thank you yeah I guess I already said this in the doc but it was kind of a representation of those moments when you’re just laying in bed and you can’t sleep and the thoughts are revolving in your head, the thoughts that only come up in quiet moments like that, in a confessional and exposed way, reflecting over them. Happy new year to you too, I’m glad you are well I was worried 19 minutes ago, Prisoner said: thank you for the concern. do you still want a name change btw? Yeah, how about we trade usernames?
Prisoner Posted January 1, 2021 Posted January 1, 2021 1 minute ago, keshaspearsxo said: Yeah, how about we trade usernames? If you really want a name change, i won one for stan swap so i can give that to you since i won't be changing mine anyways
fountain Posted January 1, 2021 Posted January 1, 2021 3 minutes ago, Prisoner said: If you really want a name change, i won one for stan swap so i can give that to you since i won't be changing mine anyways Wait, that’s so kind If you are sure, then I can’t pretend I wouldn’t be grateful... my name is tragic . I made it when I was 16 and I’ve been stuck with it all this time despite really outgrowing it the only thing is I don’t really know what I would prefer it to be, I just don’t want it to be this anymore if you wanted to have a little fun with it... you can decide whatever it will be, because really anything is better than the current one I’d be down if you are.
funnellegs Posted January 1, 2021 Posted January 1, 2021 Thank you @Prisoner and happy new year to you all
ughgabriel Posted January 2, 2021 Author Posted January 2, 2021 Happy new year, beautiful people <3 My reviews will be posted tonight and the new round tomorrow, final 5 :crying:
fountain Posted January 2, 2021 Posted January 2, 2021 On 12/18/2020 at 6:18 PM, keshaspearsxo said: I think... this is the first time that I have ever not been the last, or second to last, to submit 9 hours ago, Prisoner said: 4. keshaspearsxo - "S" Okay maybe not
Hug Posted January 2, 2021 Posted January 2, 2021 1 hour ago, ughgabriel said: Happy new year, beautiful people <3 My reviews will be posted tonight and the new round tomorrow, final 5 :crying: Omg is this true
Prisoner Posted January 2, 2021 Posted January 2, 2021 is evermore good? i listened the first five tracks and they're very average compared to folklore
Prisoner Posted January 2, 2021 Posted January 2, 2021 23 hours ago, keshaspearsxo said: Wait, that’s so kind If you are sure, then I can’t pretend I wouldn’t be grateful... my name is tragic . I made it when I was 16 and I’ve been stuck with it all this time despite really outgrowing it the only thing is I don’t really know what I would prefer it to be, I just don’t want it to be this anymore if you wanted to have a little fun with it... you can decide whatever it will be, because really anything is better than the current one I’d be down if you are. let me ask the host who gave me that award
fountain Posted January 2, 2021 Posted January 2, 2021 1 hour ago, Prisoner said: let me ask the host who gave me that award Who I gotta get on my knees for
Courtney Love Posted January 2, 2021 Posted January 2, 2021 Happy New Year everyone Very quick reviews so you have them before results: As always, you’re all so extremely talented and it’s always such a privilege that I get to read these entries. Such a strong top 5. @Hug - Why Can’t We Be Friends @Hug Spoiler The stream of consciousness was a great idea for this challenge. I think the the drinking wine references really set the mood of a song about honesty, openness and humility. I liked the sections about the colours. I can only imagine if that was fleshed out into an actual song, that it would be an absolute highlight that people would scream at you from the audience! It felt really powerful. I also really liked how you tied up some of the stanzas. Really summarising all your thoughts. My only critique would be that some of the lyrics started to feel borderline cliche. e.g: “It beats for you or not at all” @funnellegs - “10th of august 2008” Spoiler I think with this challenge, where you’re not allowed to separate the song into a typical song structure means that it can get quite tough to read. Sentences can run on and sections start to sound the same. I think you found a great way of avoiding this by (1) telling a building story but also (2) having 2 really excellent verses at the end that, without structure, still separate themselves as being the key moments of the song. The juxtaposition between the second last verse being hurt and the last verse as a happy bittersweet mood and memory is only heightened by the previous stanzas that build up to these moments. However, my critique is that I do think some parts could’ve been written a little more precise and with some more clarity. (The first 3 verses in particular). @Rence - ballad of the warrior Spoiler It’s really tough to judge this song because there are so many sections and lines that I like (the last 2 stanzas in particular are my favourite). But it’s just way too long in my opinion. For this challenge, it can be tricky to keep the attention of the reader if there is no structure because the sections can start to blur together. That definitely happened to me here unfortunately. I had to re read it a few times to find the diamonds in the rough to be honest. After a few re reads, I could see myself pulling certain stanzas out because they weren’t really needed? I don’t know if you feel the same and this is obviously just my opinion. @keshaspearsxo - S Spoiler I think it’s amazing how you can go for super abstract, theoretical and borderline mythical in your previous entries to extremely grounded and descriptive in your latter entries. Both are excellent but you have such a way with words when you detailed loneliness in the first 1st of this song. It was actually really exciting when I read the first few lines of this because it’s so different and unique. However, I have a similar critique to Rence where it’s just a bit too long in my opinion. @8thPrince - 7 Month Calendar Spoiler There is just something so engaging and fantastic about your writing that even “Final leaves” has me already excited for what is ahead. Really great job again at tugging at the heart strings. I think you captured the challenge of the song really well also. No clear structure, sections with different lengths and rhythms and not overly complicated. Great job.
fountain Posted January 2, 2021 Posted January 2, 2021 48 minutes ago, Courtney Love said: I think it’s amazing how you can go for super abstract, theoretical and borderline mythical in your previous entries to extremely grounded and descriptive in your latter entries. Both are excellent but you have such a way with words when you detailed loneliness in the first 1st of this song. It was actually really exciting when I read the first few lines of this because it’s so different and unique. However, I have a similar critique to Rence where it’s just a bit too long in my opinion. Thanks! I guess some context to that back and forth is that I’m working on two different albums at the moment, that’s why there’s some difference in my approaches. I really enjoy both, anyway, and I suppose I’d like to think that I keep people guessing. To be fair, my songs being called long is not exactly unfounded, it’s the only real reoccurring note that I’ve been getting during this, and this might sound frank but it’s not a comment that I care for, to just be wholly honest. That doesn’t only apply to you, but I’ve not said anything about it thus far and it’s just not something that I personally take as feedback, at all. I just write what I write, and the words finish when they finish.
fountain Posted January 5, 2021 Posted January 5, 2021 Also, I want to bring this up, and I don’t know what anybody else thinks, but isn’t it better for this to end sooner rather than later, at this point? I know that it’s meant to be 12 rounds so that means we’d have 3 more left, but every round has been taking like at least two weeks, so that puts us finishing at around mid February? That’s 6 months from when this first started. So I’ll just be honest I don’t know how much drive exactly still exists from everybody to keep it going for that much longer. Again I haven’t spoken to anybody else so I don’t know how the rest of you feel but I figure it’s worth maybe thinking about and discussing. I don’t mean it in a bad way at all, but, this has been going for quite some time, and still might. Personally I’m down for a final with more contestants, as opposed to any more drop outs and extended waiting. I’m sure everybody has their own thoughts though, if anybody else feels like adding.
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