tournament PLATINUM HIT 11▴ congratulations aurora ♛

[Dylobs]

2 minutes ago, Jackson said:

this comes close

 

 

this isn't even her worst

yieihrcjnkd actually dreadful but still better than that AIWFCIY performance  

[Jackson]

 

@Mezik – Restart

This is something I’m always going to point out in songs with blatant spelling/grammar errors – proofread your song before you send it. “With are feet dripping in the water” is a no-no. Just like last week, this had a strong emotional aspect and I like the way you tell a story. Unfortunately, this didn’t hit me quite as hard as your round one entry. The chorus was too short and uneventful, and lines like “wondering why I became so cold” didn’t elevate your writing in the way I was hoping for.

 

 

@ultraviolence.xx – numbered days

One thing to pay attention to with meter – stressing is just as important as syllable count. The first couple lines of your verse had me BOPPING, but I had to read the third one like 5 different ways before it made sense. The way your lines were set up, the stress on happiness would have been placed on the last syllable, which just didn’t work. Perhaps with a melody it could have made more sense, but when reading just lyrics it doesn’t come across.  And although the meter was fairly good throughout the rest of the song, you fell victim to it a couple of times instead of using it to your advantage (“I watch you seize”). Apart from those issues, this was a pretty technically perfect song, and you’ll get a fairly good score from me, but it also didn’t seem to be much more than a retelling of the myth you chose. I would have loved to see you use the concept a bit more loosely and insert more of your personality here.

 

 

@Hug – Tu’er Shan

OK WAIT at this LGBT representation in Chinese folklore. I had no idea the gays had that much impact. It was kinda cool to just read the background of the song tbh. My favorite part of this song is how you played with the concept of repetition. Instead of offering a typical recurring chorus, you brought in elements of repetition in the verse. The pre-chorus kinda served me last season, which is always a plus. There were a few missteps, still, such as the first chorus, which I felt was not as strong as the second. The fact that the song was vague in its inspiration to its myth was ultimately a good choice, as it added emotion and personality to it, but it made the bridge and outro make little sense without context, which could have presented a problem.

 

 

@minho – Cat’s Waltz

Living for all these obscure myths (or ones I’m not familiar with at least). My biggest issue here has been fairly consistent throughout the entries this week. It seems to be a good retelling of the myth you chose (I think, like I said, I’m not that familiar with it. Drag me if I’m wrong here), but the song standing alone doesn’t make a lot of immediate sense. Everyone took the challenge quite literally, which isn’t a huge problem, but if you’re going to follow your myth closely there should be more allusions to it to make the meaning of the song clearer. Otherwise, this was quite strong. The imagery was great, especially the contrasting choruses. I liked how you fit other elements of the culture into the song, like the paper lanterns. Overall this was a pretty strong song.

 

 

@keshaspearsxo – The Owl

I was kinda pearched from the moment I read the teaser on twitter. And honestly it was better than I was expecting. The song made me do something I don’t often do when reading a Platinum Hit song, which is really think critically about the lyrics. Perception and reality are concepts I think a lot about. The verses were really immaculately put together. The hook was a bit lackluster, and the song honestly would have been OK without mentioning explicitly the myth at all, but it didn’t really take away from the song. It just failed to add much, and with a song so short that space could have been used better.

 

---

 

 

I'll be posting most if not all of the rest of my reviews tomorrow  

[Jackson]

Just now, Gastrodonatella said:

oh you really did cut it at pears ff

I would never lie

[ultraviolence.xx]

1 minute ago, Jackson said:

 

@ultraviolence.xx – numbered days

One thing to pay attention to with meter – stressing is just as important as syllable count. The first couple lines of your verse had me BOPPING, but I had to read the third one like 5 different ways before it made sense. The way your lines were set up, the stress on happiness would have been placed on the last syllable, which just didn’t work. Perhaps with a melody it could have made more sense, but when reading just lyrics it doesn’t come across.  And although the meter was fairly good throughout the rest of the song, you fell victim to it a couple of times instead of using it to your advantage (“I watch you seize”). Apart from those issues, this was a pretty technically perfect song, and you’ll get a fairly good score from me, but it also didn’t seem to be much more than a retelling of the myth you chose. I would have loved to see you use the concept a bit more loosely and insert more of your personality here.

ok **** me i literally thought when i turned it in about how it was hella just a retelling

but thank you for the meter notes! i'll consider that more next time. i feel like everything made sense stress-wise when i read it out loud in my head but i def coulda missed some stuff nnn

 

 

[Dylobs]

How many people submitted this round btw?

[ultraviolence.xx]

Just now, Gastrodonatella said:

citru & moon MIA

 

[Hug]

47 minutes ago, Jackson said:

@Hug – Tu’er Shan

OK WAIT at this LGBT representation in Chinese folklore. I had no idea the gays had that much impact. It was kinda cool to just read the background of the song tbh. My favorite part of this song is how you played with the concept of repetition. Instead of offering a typical recurring chorus, you brought in elements of repetition in the verse. The pre-chorus kinda served me last season, which is always a plus. There were a few missteps, still, such as the first chorus, which I felt was not as strong as the second. The fact that the song was vague in its inspiration to its myth was ultimately a good choice, as it added emotion and personality to it, but it made the bridge and outro make little sense without context, which could have presented a problem.

Okay, so that was a really cute story I chose, but Chinese mythology is WILD when it comes to LGBT themes.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_themes_in_mythology#Asian_mythologies

 

Some of the ones in the Chinese section had me in SHAMBLES when I was researching.  

 

"Chinese dragons"consistently enjoy sexual relationships with older men", one example being in the tale of "Old Farmer and a Dragon", in which a sixty-year-old farmer is forcibly sodomised by a passing dragon, resulting in wounds from penetration and bites that require medical attention.[51]"

 

AHHH  WHYYY

[ultraviolence.xx]

1 minute ago, Hug said:

Okay, so that was a really cute story I chose, but Chinese mythology is WILD when it comes to LGBT themes.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_themes_in_mythology#Asian_mythologies

 

Some of the ones in the Chinese section had me in SHAMBLES when I was researching.  

 

"Chinese dragons"consistently enjoy sexual relationships with older men", one example being in the tale of "Old Farmer and a Dragon", in which a sixty-year-old farmer is forcibly sodomised by a passing dragon, resulting in wounds from penetration and bites that require medical attention.[51]"

 

AHHH  WHYYY

reported for vulgarihty

 

next week you NEED to incorporate OFaaD

[touya kinomoto]

2 minutes ago, Hug said:

Okay, so that was a really cute story I chose, but Chinese mythology is WILD when it comes to LGBT themes.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_themes_in_mythology#Asian_mythologies

 

Some of the ones in the Chinese section had me in SHAMBLES when I was researching.  

 

"Chinese dragons"consistently enjoy sexual relationships with older men", one example being in the tale of "Old Farmer and a Dragon", in which a sixty-year-old farmer is forcibly sodomised by a passing dragon, resulting in wounds from penetration and bites that require medical attention.[51]"

 

AHHH  WHYYY

[Aurora]

while we wait for the other judges i made this banging playlist for us 2 bop 2

 

 

[ultraviolence.xx]

Just now, Aurora said:

while we wait for the other judges i made this banging playlist for us 2 bop 2

 

 

LHALKHlskdghlkjSHDGSDLFSHDIUGHFiweh tiEHRLITAJFLWEIUHGLIUhsfgjknjfszhgkjafj

g'fgldifjgs' flkggakljfdhlgbxgdrta;gjbzg

hskrejdfxhkugrnUHGLSIRUJDFLZGJNRSTLKGAJ FLSJGBLKJDNFHKAENDFGKHAELIGJAREJGALUERGHA ELRUI GAERUGLH LAKJSDH F

A

 GAHRGIUAERHGOAEHRGLO AJER G

AR

 GA

G 

ART

H AJEIUG AEHOI JAOIJ G;OIRJpio apeoig uspdiofjg ioJF;OIAGHER PGOJARE 

[Aurora]

4 minutes ago, ultraviolence.xx said:

LHALKHlskdghlkjSHDGSDLFSHDIUGHFiweh tiEHRLITAJFLWEIUHGLIUhsfgjknjfszhgkjafj

g'fgldifjgs' flkggakljfdhlgbxgdrta;gjbzg

hskrejdfxhkugrnUHGLSIRUJDFLZGJNRSTLKGAJ FLSJGBLKJDNFHKAENDFGKHAELIGJAREJGALUERGHA ELRUI GAERUGLH LAKJSDH F

A

 GAHRGIUAERHGOAEHRGLO AJER G

AR

 GA

G 

ART

H AJEIUG AEHOI JAOIJ G;OIRJpio apeoig uspdiofjg ioJF;OIAGHER PGOJARE 

this is beautiful, submit this next week and #1 on lock

[fountain]

59 minutes ago, Jackson said:

 

@keshaspearsxo – The Owl

I was kinda pearched from the moment I read the teaser on twitter. And honestly it was better than I was expecting. The song made me do something I don’t often do when reading a Platinum Hit song, which is really think critically about the lyrics. Perception and reality are concepts I think a lot about. The verses were really immaculately put together. The hook was a bit lackluster, and the song honestly would have been OK without mentioning explicitly the myth at all, but it didn’t really take away from the song. It just failed to add much, and with a song so short that space could have been used better.

Yez, stan 

[ultraviolence.xx]

1 minute ago, Aurora said:

this is beautiful, submit this next week and #1 on lock

an experimental uvie bop

[smholiv]

Thank you Jackson!

 

I chose not to follow the myths too closely but rather twist them and imagine them interacting with each other in a new way (both are separate) but I can see that might not have come through properly.

[UFO]

Lmfao so I wasn't even in Batch 1 this ENTIRE time? tf I thought I submitted so early   y'all are quick

 

[UFO]

“It might be enough to know that our blood / Will be on the rocks painting rainbows”

 

yaaaaas this was my favourite lyric as well!   

[Citrus]

Am uh, pretty hungover. Will do reviews in like an hour

[Citrus]

7 hours ago, Gastrodonatella said:

what's more iconic, tentacles or dragon d!ck

Jackson likes both

[Citrus]

Okay **** ALL OF YOU who just said "inspired by X" and not explaining what that story/myth was. Boot.

[Jackson]

As I'm working on reviews, here's everyone that submitted and when you can expect your review (except UFO because I didn't see his entry at first  )

@UFO - A Love In A Lie

@Mezik - Restart

@ultraviolence.xx - numbered days

@Hug - Tu'er Shan

@minho Cat's Waltz

@keshaspearsxo - The Owl

@Glassmouth - Unicorn Blood

@SaintWest - Olympia

@Nait Phoenix - Gemini

@OreGuy - Bal Bal

@MattyTacos - Dreamspell

@Tsareena - El Chupacabra

@funnellegs - Without A Goodbye

@EmojiClothes - If Looks Could Kill

@Gastrodonatella - Persephone

@Covergirl - Lady in White

@PoKiTaurus - Promise Ring

@KatyCatPH - Zephyr's Song

@Speezy - Break and Swallow Steel

@mxtthewdelrey - Black Dog

@Aurora - Loch Ness

@FCKNAmbrosia - Love Wine

@Dylobs - The Dylogent Horticulturalist

 

if your name isn't here i almost definitely didn't get your sawng

[poki]

No shade but Venus and Taurus are pretty well known A-lister mythology stuff

 

[Citrus]

12 minutes ago, PoKiTaurus said:

No shade but Venus and Taurus are pretty well known A-lister mythology stuff

 

Some of us don't read that section of the paper

[Glassmouth]

I hope el Chupacabra has some sucking d*ck references or I'll be dissapointed

[Glassmouth]

1 hour ago, UFO said:

“It might be enough to know that our blood / Will be on the rocks painting rainbows”

 

yaaaaas this was my favourite lyric as well!