tournament PLATINUM HIT 11▴ congratulations aurora ♛

[Citrus]

3 minutes ago, Corsola said:

you tell me; what DOES it say about me and the host who agreed with me?

that Jackson has poor taste, we been knew

[Citrus]

Just now, Gastrodonatella said:

let it all out sis. the season is dying anyway x

did ppl not submit? the number of entries this round is p low

[Citrus]

Just now, Corsola said:

Well I don't care about a challenge's difficulty especially since I'm not even competing. It's the coolest challenge imo and inspiring for me 

how dare u

 

ur not allowed to be inspired by things that I don't agree with

 

this is a totalitarian game under fuhrer moonchild

[Ventitonic]

Has anyone written an anti-hetero anthem on here

I hate them and need to relinquish my anger

[Citrus]

I'm attempting jokes and you're attempting songs, love how we all trying new things this week

[Jackson]

hacked by hor.

 

Taylor is a bitch

[Citrus]

2 minutes ago, Ventitonic said:

Has anyone written an anti-hetero anthem on here

I hate them and need to relinquish my anger

Which boy hurt you bby, tell me who I need to fight

[Ventitonic]

Just now, Citrus said:

Which boy hurt you bby, tell me who I need to fight

its not the typical lust over a str8 boi thing, I love myself

They're just annoying

[Citrus]

1 minute ago, Ventitonic said:

its not the typical lust over a str8 boi thing, I love myself

They're just annoying

I know, you're smarter than that. I'm just prepared to fight.

 

[ultraviolence.xx]

1 minute ago, Ventitonic said:

its not the typical lust over a str8 boi thing, I love myself

wow, not relatable 

[Ventitonic]

Just now, Citrus said:

I know, you're smarter than that. I'm just prepared to fight.

 

I appreciate the love, but we need to take the Martin Luther KIng Jr route not the Malcom X one

1 minute ago, ultraviolence.xx said:

wow, not relatable 

I wish you the best in your life

str8 chasing ends in no good

 

[Citrus]

13 minutes ago, Ventitonic said:

I appreciate the love, but we need to take the Martin Luther KIng Jr route not the Malcom X one

 

 

I have a dream

 

 

That one day our gay brothers and sisters

 

 

Can walk into a gay club knowing there won't be any straight people there

 

[ultraviolence.xx]

13 minutes ago, Ventitonic said:

I wish you the best in your life

str8 chasing ends in no good

 

pray for me now and at the hour of my death, amen

[Ventitonic]

2 minutes ago, Citrus said:

I have a dream

 

 

That one day our gay brothers and sisters

 

 

Can walk into a gay club knowing there won't be any straight people there

 

and that they too can hold hands with their significant others without fear

amen

 

 

 

 

[Citrus]

 

CitRuviews - Round 6

 

 

Hug – Honestly the only fat part is the myriad of rainbow lights line, the rest is so smooth and such easy listening. It treads familiar territory but idgaf because it’s so sweet and flows wonderfully. 8.5

 

Aurora – Your commentary >> your song. This felt very poetic but not at all like a song, perhaps because it doesn’t flow as much as your stuff usually does? The rhymes were also far more basic than you usually do. Thematically, you kind of hit us over the head with everything. 4.6

Gastrodonatella – Eh. It’s cute but it feels like a rush release in the last hour before the challenge is due, and the connection to the story/movie is pretty superficial. Idk. Just not your best. 4.4

 

MattyTacos – Bye @ “But every time I dream of sheep”, what kind of nursery rhyme bs. This is cute but ultimately, like a lot of people, just a restatement of something in the movie done rhythmically but not originally. 5

 

Tsareena – I liked this more than most potential breakup songs this round, maybe because it struck a decent balance between poetry and song. Cute. 5.1

 

Minho – Cafes/shade is GROSS. The chorus is simple, but not in the oh wow this is simple and heavy hitting kinda way, it’s just basic. Love the bride though, some powerful lines. 6

 

Funnellegs – Time’s the cruelest keeper is probably your best line, werk a bit. You were a little too wild oscillating between figurative language like the time line and then bluntly stating “I had to let you die”. 4.4

 

UFO – Still going off the main theme of the story/film but at least you did it in reverse! Your language is toned down to the point where it’s no longer sounding ~arty~ just for the sake of being arty, and I love that. Keep it up. 6.3

 

Nait Phoenix – This was fine, like, I’m not mad at it. It’s just there. You took the theme and kinda just gave us a list of generalities and clichés. Still better than Katy tho! 4

 

Uvie – PSA: Lilt will never ever flow well in a song (unless you use the superior ‘lilting’). I liked how your alternation between more airy terminology and concrete stuff matched the chorus/verse breaks. Toot. 5.6

 

SaintWest – I just yearn for silence / though the silence never ends is kinda contradictory. Kudos for doing something different but it didn’t entirely pay off because this doesn’t feel super good. It’s kinda elementary. 5

 

Pears – The way you snatched Minho’s poetic yet still rhythmic abilities this round! Slay me tbh! Love this. The bridge was a little ARTPOP and not in the good (is there?) way, but still a fan of this. 8.5

 

KatyCatPH – Jive is an old word with an old connotation, keep it in the 60s pls. It’s cute if a little (or extremely) basic, as it’s just a story about a dude who wants to smash and this cute girl who wants romance. It’s a Carly Rae rihject. 4.2

 

Mxtthewdelrey – This is fine but the alien lines make it feel a little too out there, because the rest of the song is pretty standard. It’s incongruous. 4.5

 

[Citrus]

my round 7 reviews are done and will be on the next page!

[Citrus]

fixed xo

[Tsareena]

the censorship 

[Tsareena]

12 minutes ago, Citrus said:

 

Tsareena – I liked this more than most potential breakup songs this round, maybe because it struck a decent balance between poetry and song. Cute. 5.1

their lover had a terminal disease 

[Citrus]

5 minutes ago, Tsareena said:

their lover had a terminal disease 

yah, I got that but iirc I had a small small amount of time to write reviews last week so I went way simple

[Tsareena]

1 minute ago, Citrus said:

yah, I got that but iirc I had a small small amount of time to write reviews last week so I went way simple

it's okay. just trying to get to next page but it's a ghost town in here. no gastro no ratings 

[ultraviolence.xx]

19 minutes ago, Citrus said:

Uvie – PSA: Lilt will never ever flow well in a song (unless you use the superior ‘lilting’). I liked how your alternation between more airy terminology and concrete stuff matched the chorus/verse breaks. Toot. 5.6

queen of farting

 

but 5 real what does toot mean 

[Citrus]

Just now, ultraviolence.xx said:

queen of farting

 

but 5 real what does toot mean 

 

[ultraviolence.xx]

4 minutes ago, Citrus said:

 

it’s the next page x

[Citrus]

 

CitRuviews - Round 7

 

 

SaintWest x Hug – ummm car accidents are me and Jackson’s thing?? Plagiarisme (except our version went #1). ‘Visiting your grave’ is clunky and gives away the game of the song much too simply/early. The primary issue with this song is that you don’t give much insight into the driver’s life post-wreck OR the victim’s feelings during the wreck. We can’t care about the driver because we haven’t seen much of how this affected his life aside from a line or two about feeling guilty – give us some specific details that illuminate that guilt in his day to day. Not just in visiting the grave stone.

 

Tsareena – Love Tsareenuh, she sounds cute. I totally got that this was about a procrastinator, which feels like a personal attack on me. But yes congrats on making your dueling emotions come through! That being said, this isn’t particularly compelling because the stakes aren’t defined. We need to know what’s gonna happen if things don’t work out if were meant to care. Also, that metaphor is dumb as hell. Like it’s fine, but it doesn’t fit into this song at all.

 

 

Keshaspearsxo – Um bye @ the biphobia in this. I liked your take on the challenge, and this was probably your most mainstream entry yet, in terms of flow and rhyme structure. Pears her top 100 debut is coming! I think the imagery/figurative language may have worked against you here because it made us kind of oblivious to the internal struggles of the narrator, which is the most compelling aspect of this song.

 

 

Funnellegs – I did it cos it felt good is a weak line. On the flip side, I love the friend/means to an end couplet, really strong and incisive. Around/found is forced, as is the second chorus. I commend you on writing a song that is clearly important for you to write, and it’s compelling to read. You have a fair amount of technical issues that take us out of the moment, but I think this is a good topic choice and I’ve liked all of the creativity and branching out that you’ve given us this season.

 

 

MattyTacos – Jesus Christ @ that concept, what kind of me teas. The black magic allusions aren’t my favorite treatment for this subject but they’re consistent so that’s a plus. No shade but like…this is the first entry I’ve read from you where I think to myself, this person won before. You really took an out there concept and ran at it. Are there technical issues and some wonky wordings, yeah (resting for travel on subway trains??), but, overall, I love this.

 

 

Nait Phoenix – I read this like a rap, which is a good thing! Your rhymes and flow were tight and this definitely improved on your entry from last week. I don’t entirely get what the narrators are coasting on in reference to this being a romantic or purely physical thing, but it’s still a cute word and metaphor. Pls do more of this kinda stuff!

 

 

Uvie – YES @ the entire first stanza, especially that all/soft rhyme. What a slay. I’m afraid I can’t read fumed without thinking of ATRL, so poor your word choice. I think this is possibly my favorite romance/relationship song that has been submitted this season, because it describes the anger and violence of passionate relationships using such soft and tender language. You’ve come so far, and I love watching you take the critiques and improve upon them each week! For next week, I’d love 2 see you use some specificity (situations, places, whatever, real life details) to add some context to your song. Good job!

 

 

Aurora – This was a bit of a Minho song about lights moment for me, because it’s not technically about something I experienced (not entirely, at least), but I still feel a very deep connection to it. This is the kind of song my 14 year old self would’ve downloaded then deleted from the search history, listening to it on his ****ty knockoff iPod every day on the bus. Again, this is one of those songs where the intangible outweighs technique. The goal of songwriting is to connect with people, and you succeeded.

 

 

Mxtthewdelrey – This concept is a little tired, and I honestly wish you had focused more on the one you mentioned in your introduction about time spent together and time spent apart. This just felt like you didn’t care as you were writing it. The springtime/mine line felt like something ripped out of a songwriter’s ad libs book. I think it’s the simple rhymes here that did that, because you do have a fair bit more than you usually do. So, in the future, maybe try some more slant or non-rhyming songs focusing less on maintaining the rhyme structure and more on maintaining the rhythm.

 

 

UFO – klkdfjsooff not a cactus. Love you but I am FOREVER responding to writing prompts with “I used the metaphor of a cactus”. Such a funny line out of context. Again, commendations are in order for you going out of the generic territory and attempting something different. That being said, this reminds me of Sia saying how she realized how simple songwriting was because a producer told her to just write a metaphor about anything, and she responded with “You are my piggybank”. This has slight “You are my piggybank” tea, only because the connection of the imagery (desert) and the emotion you try to convey (repression) aren’t quite in line with each other, and there needs to be a little more work to get them to connect.

 

 

Minho – It’s interesting that you and Sam both did songs called 17 this round, thought from very different angles. While his is #SadGay, yours focuses entirely on the concept of fleeting youth. The imagery you used is very specific and really sells the song, especially love the detail about plastic stars on the wall. My college dorm room in my freshman year of undergrad had plastic stars all on the ceiling, and it was always so comforting to fall asleep looking at them. It’s a good view of youth, though I don’t entirely see your spacey vs grounded represented terribly well in here. It feels like a transition more than a conflict.