tournament PLATINUM HIT 11▴ congratulations aurora ♛

[smholiv]

My song was definitely more vague this time around.  I was kind of going for something where it was more of a "feeling"/emotion but tbh those songs don't go anywhere.  my experimental era

[ceremonials]

luckily i dont send scores til like an hour before results 

 

[ceremonials]

Just now, minho said:

My song was definitely more vague this time around.  I was kind of going for something where it was more of a "feeling"/emotion but tbh those songs don't go anywhere.  my experimental era

i thought it went somewhere

 

[SaintWest]

3 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

you had one flop era this season and won the last season you played in what does it take to get you used to it

Call me when your 1-2 punch is Oblivion and Film Noir. I still get PTSD.

[SaintWest]

4 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

nobody remembers the first one and only you and i bring up the second one

and according to you, since you wrote both, technically your 1-2 punch WAS oblivion and film noir.

 

[Aurora]

9 minutes ago, ceremonials said:

@Aurora, “Confessions”

 

This was good, but definitely one of your weaker entries thus far. You’re obviously a phenomenal writer but this seemed a tad less concise than usual. I think most of my issues reside in Section II. It’s just kind of… like a handful of metaphors all thrown at you all at once, and few of them leaving any lasting impact - mainly because there all muddling each other’s meanings simply by being so closely woven together. I don’t have as much of a problem with the other two since they feel much more uniform - in a way they feel like verses, and Section II feels like a Middle 8. Because of this, I hold the second section in especially high regard, since even though it’s not a “chorus”, it should still generally be one of the stronger parts of a song. Maybe you didn’t intend for it to read like a Middle 8, but for me it kind of does. I don’t hate it by any means, but it did kind of let me down after the flawless first verse,

 

“Don’t know who I am, only who I want to be / Armed with a plan that I know I’ll never keep / My future is a hideaway forever out of reach / Focused on a vision that no one else can see”

Thanks for the review! I definitely don't see the middle section as a middle eight (or I would have labelled it as such) and was conscious not to do a middle eight since I did one last round and already knew of two others who were doing one. I almost left the entire thing unlabelled but thought it needed some kind of structure to avoid just being seen as a wall of text nn. I also don't really agree with the whole overuse of metaphor thing since it's actually rather literal (wanting to relocate but having too many obstacles in my way and settling back into everyday life). But I'm glad you liked parts of it, at least.

[Hug]

9 minutes ago, ceremonials said:

@Hug, “Favela”

 

Not this stripper innuendo when it’s supposed to be a nursery rhyme bitch. I enjoyed this, though there were parts I wasn’t really feeling it. I wanted to write the middle 8 off as soon as I saw money/hungry, though I kinda liked the way it was structured, that rhyme was still pretty unforgivable. On the second readthrough I don’t hate it, but I do feel it could’ve been executed better - though I do appreciate the sentiment behind it. The verses are alright, it sortof seemed like they were organized like that so there was some kind of meaningful structure to the song, but I don’t consider that a bad thing. It’s hard to write a song without a chrous that doesn’t end up just being free verse, and this was a clever way to get around it. I don’t...know where you got this idea from but I kinda like that it’s way different than what you usually do, at least in terms of concept. Hug her Rated R era is here confirmed?

 

“She danced for her mother because she was helpless / Now she dances for herself”

The concept came from me liking the word favela and not knowing what it meant, so I googled it and used that as a base line for my story. I thought about going into more detail about what the favela was like, but outside of my liking the word it didn't mean much in the grand scheme of things so  

 

Anyway, stan for the middle eight.

[smholiv]

8 minutes ago, ceremonials said:

i thought it went somewhere

 

Well I'm glad

 

and I do feel like this was kind of a balance between my usual style and what you were seeking (though it still leaned more to my pop bop stylings).  I'm glad you picked it that couplet, it was actually the last addition I had, whew.

[ultraviolence.xx]

i’m causing judge polarization. am i LWYMMD?

[SaintWest]

 

Edited September 24, 2017 by SaintWest

[ceremonials]

17 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

this Black and White sprite tea

[touya kinomoto]

Oh, no reviews for me still? Lemme go back to hibernation.

 

[UFO]

2 hours ago, ceremonials said:

@UFO, “Dancing with Disaster”

 

Okay, um...so this definitely had a chorus. Even if it was separated and labelled other things, by definition anything repeated multiple times throughout the song is considered a chorus. I might have forgiven it if it were just those two hook lines repeated, because, well, that’s more like a refrain. But since the “bridge” also follows that hook wherever it goes, it’s still just a chorus. I will give you some structure points though - even if I think there was a pretty defined chorus, this was still an admittedly refreshing break from the verse/chorus/verse/bridge structure. Content wise though I do think this was one of your stronger entries. It was still exceptionally wordy, but I think those words are put to good use here. Overall, this would’ve been great in most rounds, and while I do think a lot of people were definitely walking on thin ice with their “middle 8s”, this was a bit too chorus-like to really nail the challenge.

 

“Time stopped when I looked into your eyes and my heart swayed faster, faster / As we interlocked I soon realized I was dancing with disaster”

Nnnnnnnn thank you!   not gonna lie, I was kind of confused how many times we were allowed to repeat the hook. I probably should’ve asked first ffffff   but oh well!  I think I was confused  it also didn’t help that I repeated the “bridge” every time I repeated the hook fff it was basically a chorus     anyway, I’m glad you liked it even though it still had a chorus   when I was writing it I was like.... wait a minute, isn’t the hook & bridge basically the chorus? But then I was like “**** it let me just submit it anyway”   I’m a hot mess. 

Edited September 24, 2017 by UFO

[fountain]

4 hours ago, SaintWest said:

someone played say my name by tove stryrke in dub last night and it was the first time i heard it and i'm still shook

 

 

She's a legend 

[UFO]

Can’t wait for next round    

[touya kinomoto]

Results are usually at 7PM EST right @Jackson?

Edited September 24, 2017 by KatyCatPH

[Hug]

Finally got a new avi  

[UFO]

2 hours ago, Hug said:

Finally got a new avi  

Yaaaas I love it!  although I’ll miss your Spotlight avi a lot 

 

 

^btw where is it from?  

[Jackson]

3 hours ago, KatyCatPH said:

Results are usually at 7PM EST right @Jackson?

It depends but that will probably be the case this week

[touya kinomoto]

46 minutes ago, Jackson said:

It depends but that will probably be the case this week

Are you gonna post batch 2 of your reviews before that?

[Jackson]

2 minutes ago, KatyCatPH said:

Are you gonna post batch 2 of your reviews before that?

ofc

[Citrus]

Brunch went late! 2:00 PM EST at the latest!

[ultraviolence.xx]

14 minutes ago, Citrus said:

Brunch went late! 2:00 PM EST at the latest!

i’m shaking

[Citrus]

18 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

check my snap story to see all I ate and drank!

[Citrus]

30 minutes ago, Gastrodonatella said:

the level of unprofessionalism  

I had a bacon, egg & cheese sandwich w/homefries, a pancake, and two cups of black coffee. A MAN's breakfast.