Inventor of pop, Carly Rae Jepsen, turns 39! + a list of artists she's better than

[Bitter Aging Twink]

 

Today is our mother Carly Rae Jepsen's 39th birthday and I think we need to take a moment to honor the current pioneer of pop.   Not only did Carly Rae invent pop music in 2012 when she released her worldwide smash "Call Me Maybe," which is the best-selling single of the early 2010s, but she has continued to release smash after smash ever since then, all while spoiling her fans with B-sides and unreleased demos in between projects.  Carly's sound has evolved a lot over the years, and her latest album, The Loveliest Time, contains musical influences as far and wide as 90s R&B, psychedelia, rock, big band ensembles, and hyperpop.

 

The only thing that bothers me about Carly's career is how people would rather listen to wack trash from other current pop "stars" instead of Carly's avant-garde brand of pop, which is so superior to her peers, it's almost comical.  Carly's discography is absolutely flawless and if you haven't gotten into it yet, I pity you.  Your life must really suck and be devoid of any joy. 

 

Anyway, here is a list of albums that are far worse than Carly's latest masterpiece, The Loveliest Time:

 

Dua Lipa - Radical Feminism

Katy Perry - $1.43

Taylor Swift - The Toilet Paper Department

Lady GaGa - Hurl N Shít

Chappell Roan - The Rise and Fall of a Mediocre Penís

Kylie Minogue - Ten-shíts 2

Nelly Furtado - $0.07

 

If you are unfortunate enough to be unfamiliar with Carly's music and you're curious about what it feels like to have clear skin, please check out the following highlight tracks from her latest LP:

 

 

 

 

 

Edited Thursday at 03:28 PM by Bitter Aging Twink

[magazine]

Pop, sweetieeeeeeeeeee

[Antisocialites]

exactly

[Totami Legend]

girl being this dense won't do Carly any favor.

[Princess Aurora]

Happy birthday to one of the most underrated pop stars of all-time

[tost1]

11 minutes ago, Bitter Aging Twink said:

Dua Lipa - Radical Feminism

Katy Perry - $1.43

Taylor Swift - The Toilet Paper Department

Lady GaGa - Hurl N Shít

Chappell Roan - The Rise and Fall of a Mediocre Penís

Kylie Minogue - Ten-shíts 2

Nelly Furtado - $0.07

you deserve a ban just for this, where is the creativity????

[Spicy Pisces]

11 minutes ago, Bitter Aging Twink said:

Dua Lipa - Radical Feminism

Katy Perry - $1.43

Taylor Swift - The Toilet Paper Department

Lady GaGa - Hurl N Shít

Chappell Roan - The Rise and Fall of a Mediocre Penís

Kylie Minogue - Ten-shíts 2

Nelly Furtado - $0.07

[JO1s]

Do some of y'all want atrl to dislike your favs?

[Dolce Vita]

ur doing way too much mama…with that said 'the one' is the best song of all time 

[YourNumber1Witch]

That list is silly and unnecessary when we all know that CRJ is the Supreme Music Crafter and is therefore superior to any artist. 

[Reginald]

Stream EMOTION

[fa77ot]

[liam13]

username checks out 

[Gelato]

21 minutes ago, Bitter Aging Twink said:

Dua Lipa - Radical Feminism

Katy Perry - $1.43

Taylor Swift - The Toilet Paper Department

Lady GaGa - Hurl N Shít

Chappell Roan - The Rise and Fall of a Mediocre Penís

Kylie Minogue - Ten-shíts 2

Nelly Furtado - $0.07

Quote

Bitter Aging Twink

[shyboi]

let's smile politely yall 

[Katamari]

Bitter aging twink indeed 

[Cow-1]

Streaming this Queen's discography today in honor of her birth.

Merry Carlymas everyone!!! 

[Reiner Braun]

Masturbating to party for one today in honor of her

[dumbsparce]

Is this the girl on the temu ad song? She'll be big one day!

[Loca]

Her ass is NOT avant-garde, you are just saying ****

[Almighty Gaga]

A whole ass essay for Carly Rae Jepsen is crazy

[Kern]

We can (and should) praise Queen CRJ who makes quality pop music without dragging other pop girls 

Spoiler

Except Charli xcx - she should be dragged always 

 

[Buffy]

Y'all have been trying to make Carly fetch every year. It ain't gonna happen!

 

[polygon]

She's really not that good sweeties

[SlowGinFizzzz]

Nah.