discussion Have you ever dealt with addiction in your life?

[KatyPrismSpirit]

I just wanna hear your stories

 

Doesnt have to apply to you as an individual but can also be about how partners or close family members who suffered from addiction affected you (ranging from various forms of addiction such as drugs, alcohol etc) 

Edited October 17 by KatyPrismSpirit

[ratedreid]

Yes. My uncle was a huge alcoholic and it affected my entire childhood. The last time I saw my Grandmother was on Christmas and my Uncle ruined it by being a total mess, breaking glasses and storming out of our house with her. He's been sober for over 10 years now and I'm super proud of him. I've forgiven his past.

 

My best friend was also a drug addict and I unfortunately lost him while we were on vacation together in Mexico. After losing him, it scared me completely straight and I'd never touch hard drugs again.

Edited October 17 by ratedreid

[Pavement Princess]

Alcohol, pretty consistently since I left for college. I mostly used it to start coping with mental health related issues, there were some days I would wake up and drink a glass of wine just to get me through my day. I hate to say it I definitely do feel more of myself and less tense after a drink. No more day drinking though, and I've been a lot more mindful these days. I try not to beat myself for it too much, but I'd like to not be so reliant.

[ariananext]

My brother started smoking weed during his teenage years, at some point he started experiencing with harder drugs (cocaine, I believe, but I don't exclude anything else like pills during rave parties or something), I don't know if he was ever addicted to hard drugs but the issue is that a bipolar disorder came into the picture at some point - triggered by hard drugs - and that mix was a nightmare.

 

I was a teenager (he was 23 - 25 years old) and it was a scary time, he turned violent, angry, I could not recognize him, even his voice was unrecognizable, he seemed possessed by his eyes. Then after that he fell into severe depression, then the high scary moment again, then depression again. Depression aligned with the weeks he didn't use anything. He had 3 episodes of mania which I recall, and they all lasted around one to two weeks, one month maximum once. Nobody could talk to him, he became violent and paranoid.

 

My family and I tried to help him in every way, therapy, psychiatric help, he had a medical prescription for his bipolar disorder and he had side effects from that too, so he didn't want to take his meds. We also called the police a couple of times to scare him off but it was void, he was out of control and thought he could do anything. At some point he crossed some lines and I actually reported him multiple times to the police until he got arrested and eventually got taken to a rehabilitation center - it was impossible to get him there against his will without reporting him, sadly. I don't regret it one bit, my parents didn't know what to do and I was scared he could do something irreversible. He sobered up and after 6 months there he came back and slowly built a new life, now he's happy and married with kids. 

[Velvet Night]

Yes, my uncle was an alcoholic and died at the age of 48 because of it. I haven't lived close to him, so it fortunately didn't affect my childhood much. 

However my sister is also struggling with substance abuse. She takes everything that she can get her hands on from alcohol and weed to harder drugs like heroin. Last time I saw her was in August in a psychiatric hospital. However there're often months, sometimes years I'm not hearing from her.

 

There was always something wrong with her, she had meltdowns from early on in her childhood. My parents went to doctors and psychologists but no one knew why she was so aggressive and easily irritable. In August she told me that she gets tested for autism but she never let me know the results.

[Mitsouko]

In a way. Both my parents were very heavy smokers for all of their adult lives, my mother more so with it peaking in the last 15 years. It took over their lives and became their main priority. When we had no money and little food in the refrigerator, they still had cigarettes somehow. Because they were never drunk or high and never neglected their hygiene, they didn't realize that their children still knew what it was like to live with serious addicts, with people who had a crutch and who chose it over their future and their children's happiness. They never even considered quitting or putting in the work to do so. I can't speak for my sister, but I know that for myself the feeling of me not being enough for my mother to stop smoking will never leave me. No matter how much I try to reconcile, I'll always be sad that nothing I said or did or any way I felt ever convinced her to stop or even to take my feelings seriously. Both my parents eventually did stop around 2021, my father because he simply couldn't afford it anymore and my mother because of a grim cancer diagnosis. Only being broke and sick were enough to stop them, not their kids begging and crying. I know that this has informed the way I think about myself. I know that when I feel like I'm not respecting myself, it's because I didn't feel respected as a child. I know I was loved infinitely but love is not enough, you need to feel like you matter too and I did not.

[Space Cowboy]

My mom and aunt were addicted to tobacco. Thankfully, my mom quit after my aunt passed away from cancer.

—

 

I wouldn't call it an addiction, but about two years ago, I used to party two or three times a week and use recreational drugs like molly, speed, mephedrone, and ketamine while partying. Many times, I'd go several days without sleep. It was fun, but sometimes I had really bad and brutal comedowns, and started to flop at uni. Thankfully, I've calmed down a lot now. I only use those recreational drugs about once a month at raves or festivals, and I'm currently finishing my thesis.

 

—

Currently I'm kinda addicted to caffeine and energy drinks though. I drink 3/4 energy drinks per day in averge, which is causing me significant sleep problems and lowering my quality of life. When I don't consume caffeine, I feel like I can't do sh*t through the day.

 

At least it's better than some other addictions out there.

[KatyPrismSpirit]

15 minutes ago, ariananext said:

My brother started smoking weed during his teenage years, at some point he started experiencing with harder drugs (cocaine, I believe, but I don't exclude anything else like pills during rave parties or something), I don't know if he was ever addicted to hard drugs but the issue is that a bipolar disorder came into the picture at some point - triggered by hard drugs - and that mix was a nightmare.

 

I was a teenager (he was 23 - 25 years old) and it was a scary time, he turned violent, angry, I could not recognize him, even his voice was unrecognizable, he seemed possessed by his eyes. Then after that he fell into severe depression, then the high scary moment again, then depression again. Depression aligned with the weeks he didn't use anything. He had 3 episodes of mania which I recall, and they all lasted around one to two weeks, one month maximum once. Nobody could talk to him, he became violent and paranoid.

 

My family and I tried to help him in every way, therapy, psychiatric help, he had a medical prescription for his bipolar disorder and he had side effects from that too, so he didn't want to take his meds. We also called the police a couple of times to scare him off but it was void, he was out of control and thought he could do anything. At some point he crossed some lines and I actually reported him multiple times to the police until he got arrested and eventually got taken to a rehabilitation center - it was impossible to get him there against his will without reporting him, sadly. I don't regret it one bit, my parents didn't know what to do and I was scared he could do something irreversible. He sobered up and after 6 months there he came back and slowly built a new life, now he's happy and married with kids. 

This story is so relatable to me as I dealt with a very similar story with an elder sibling back in my teenage years. I remember feeling so much anxiety as a child dealing with a sibling with bipolar disorder mixed with heavy alcohol use. Living with someone during those manic episodes and the depression is so hard and it only gets amplified with heavy alcohol use. They become different people. From one side you recognize they have mental issues, but on another side the burden it has on you is so hard to carry and live with. People don't really understand how much it impacts you until they live in it so I definitely hear you 

 

 

Edited October 17 by KatyPrismSpirit

[brraap]

I did have a dependence on ouid last year. My financial circumstances were tough. Purging that was a process. Even though the world and my situation is still hard, I'm glad I have my head straight to deal with it instead of spiralling. 

[Uncatena]

My mom's dad was a huge alcoholic. I never met him but the stories I've heard are horrific and I would say it had definitely influenced my distaste for alcohol and specifically drunk people.

 

Personally, I'm fully addicted to weed at this point because that's how I cope with living in these times lmfao.

[Jack!]

I smoked cigarettes for many years, I stopped about a year ago which I am proud of myself for, but admittedly I do still vape from time to time, especially on a night out if I've had a few drinks. And then, I don't think I'd ever go as far as saying I had an addiction problem with this, but for years I definitely had issues restricting cocaine usage when I was on a night out. Definitely felt like it was getting to a point where if I was on a night out I felt like the night couldn't be fun without it. It never encroached into my daily life, in the sense that I never felt I had to take some to make my daytime feel good. It definitely encroached into it with horrible comedowns that sometimes would wipe me out to the point I could lose a day just lying in bed. And then sometimes even when the weekend was done, I'd still be exhausted when the work week began, I'd have sporadic nosebleeds. I go on less nights out now and don't need it to enjoy said nights when I do go out, but honesty is important and I can't say I've never done it again since intentionally trying to stop. But it's just less of a problem. And I know it's not "cool" to do, but sometimes when you're a bit drunk you don't make the best decisions.

[Goaty]

I grew up Mormon so most addictive substances were frowned upon (even coffee), which prevented addiction to take root in my family. However I have extended family that got into heroin and it absolutely destroyed their lives. And I see the consequence of addiction (to be specific, addiction to prescription drugs) a lot in my professional life. 
 

And now that I'm an out gay man, there is a LOT of scary drug abuse in the community (especially at parties and festivals). The most I'll do is some alcohol — I have addictive tendencies so I know I would absolutely develop a problem if I ever experimented with stuff beyond that. 

[ariananext]

17 minutes ago, KatyPrismSpirit said:

This story is so relatable to me as I dealt with a very similar story with an elder sibling back in my teenage years. I remember feeling so much anxiety as a child dealing with a sibling with bipolar disorder mixed with heavy alcohol use. Living with someone during those manic episodes and the depression is so hard and it only gets amplified with heavy alcohol use. They become different people. From one side you recognize they have mental issues, but on another side the burden it has on you is so hard to carry and live with. People don't really understand how much it impacts you until they live in it so I definitely hear you 

 

 

Yeah, and it's dangerous too. They're not the people we know in those moments and they're capable of hurting you perhaps. I remember my parents sent me away to friends' houses in some occasions not to put me through that but I was even more worried. And of course you carry a lot of trauma for that. I remember right after I was terrified of my own house, I didn't want to look around, everything triggered me and I had a couple of anxiety attacks. It takes a lot of time and therapy to heal and in my case my parents didn't realize it was a traumatic time for people around him (especially me at 17-18) and not only him, I went to therapy this year and when my therapist acknowledged my feelings and trauma I finally felt seen/relieved. 

[makeme]

My parents were crackheads for a majority of my life. I remember being locked in my room so their crack dealer could cook crack on our stove 

They have been sober since 2014ish 

[smartalek22]

ATRL

 

Edit: but forreal I dont have any substance addictions and I am really thankful about that, I guess I probably have an internet addiction but literally everyone does so whats new

Edited October 17 by smartalek22

[KingJay]

My ex he was addicted to opioids/heroin/fent. It was soooooo hard to deal with him and always be stressed out about it. But my dumb ass just couldn't leave him

[AvadaKedavra]

The husband of my aunt had everything going for him—a successful career,acclaimed researcher, two wonderful kids, and a beautiful three-story house in the best neighboorhood of the city. However, during some of his business trips, he began drinking excessively and eventually became addicted. In the end, he was just hanging out at the local convenience store-tienda, drinking away his days. Tragically, he developed cirrhosis and passed away. 

I had a neighbor who struggled with weed addiction, which led to serious memory issues. He often couldn't remember anything and frequently warned me to steer clear of drugs and his regrets about trying Maryjane.

I also had a college classmate who regularly experimented with mushrooms. Sometimes he would show up to class acting a bit erratic, but I thought he could manage it. He was incredibly smart, dedicated to his studies, and genuinely nice. Unfortunately, he got involved with some friends of his activism group who introduced him to LSD, and that changed everything. He began experiencing suicidal thoughts out of nowhere and lost all sense of reality and was someone totally different. Eventually, he dropped out of school, ended up living on the streets, and was tragically murdered. All my classmates were heartbroken

This is one of the reasons why im afraid of trying drugs. I only tried poppers one time and thats it lol
im afraid of the damage to my brain and thats the favorite part of my body

Edited October 17 by AvadaKedavra

[Alldeezy]

This is embarrassing but since I never did hard drugs or drink I got addicted to those nangs back in 2019. To the point I spent 1k on it and even tho the high only lasted a minute and after the first 6 it doesn't work I still kept trying and trying to the point my whole body felt like I was frozen. Being around these people who treated me badly id just do more just to get through it and even got really aggressive. It took a while to drift away and now whenever people say they'll do it I'll refuse even tho the temptation is still there. I guess it's like with people who vape. Except the breathing in air was probably more dangerous 

 

We were grown us adults doing this and honestly I wasn't the only one with the addiction tho half these people who I was friends with at the time were also on acid or heavy drugs while I never touched it. 

[Oktober Knight]

When my mom was alive, she always struggled with addiction. First it was prescription drugs (mainly Xanax) but then she made friends with the wrong people and got hooked on cocaine and crack. Eventually it ended her life after fentanyl was laced in cocaine she took and she overdosed. Because of her past, I stayed far away from any drugs as I didn't want to follow the same road as her.

 

As for me, I became an extreme alcoholic after she passed away to cope with the depression and guilt. Alcohol almost ended my life when I drank myself into a coma after having a complete mental breakdown. That one death scare was enough for me to give it up and I recovered quickly and without any help. Addiction is serious and needs to be addressed immediately if you sense that it's becoming an issue.

[YouSmellLikeHospital]

I have a family member who OD'ed and so did his partner (heroin I think). Their baby is permanently disabled from birth because they were using during the pregnancy.

 

I have other family members who are stoners to the point of being lazy leeches - they use it to numb themselves from trauma, but its so sad because it causes them to not go anywhere in life and they are the same as they were in high school and make terrible decisions. I know people say weed isn't addicting, but they definitely have a dependency on it, and it's like their whole personality. It's exhausting to be around.

 

So many friends from both high school and college are druggies/alcoholics now. The ones from high school are the worst, the drugs have really aged them like milk, and it's sad to even look at them now. They look so terrible and haggard, and they aren't even 30 yet.

 

I also have alcoholic family members who have ballooned up from drinking so much and/or become mean ass drunks that ruin the party/event/trip/day any time they drink

 

I've also overindulged in both weed and alcohol in the past. I've really cut back drinking to only a little bit on special occasions, but I used to go ham in college and during the pandemic, getting blackout regularly. Once I started, I didn't know when to stop. I smoked a lot of weed in college too, and I have a medical card now, but I am currently not doing it at all because once again I was doing it too much and didn't know when to stop. It feels so good to have a clear mind.

 

I tried acid a couple times in college, but I'm never doing anything harder than weed again  my family definitely has genes that are prone to addiction, and on top of that, I'm not risking it with everything being laced with fentanyl and who knows what else nowadays