discussion Have you given up on bodybuilding as a gay male?

[BrentB]

It's too much work tbh. You have only so much time during the day, between work & sleep. And all the supplements & all the force-feeding of proteins. And all for what?  So some muscles can be visible from underneath your skin, just to please some vapid, male Regina George'd peanut brained NPCs?

 

From here on out, it's strictly just toning & occasional tune ups no longer than an hour for me. Could go for a few walks, and do some yoga or whatever, but it's honestly never that serious. 

[Illuminati]

I don't have the discipline tbh, I just look for guys who don't mind me being skinny.

 

And if they're stronger than me and use that to their advantage that's just another plus

[ImpressMeMuch]

Can't give up what I didn't begin.

[Gladiator]

I am not sure. Bodybuilding used to be my primary focus in life. My life revolved around the gym. From about 2013 to 2017 it was all I thought about. I was prepping to actually start competing, too. I was extremely focused, motivated, and most importantly, disciplined. At the end of that time, I had a very serious disc herniation from pushing myself too far in the gym and I was partially paralyzed for almost a year because it was impacting my spinal cord and it took forever to schedule the surgery - I had so many hoops and conditions I had to go through, including 2 months of completely unnecessary physical therapy that didn't help in any way.

 

I atrophied, needless to say. And since I was used to how I looked after lifting weights, I developed terrible body dysmorphia and always compared myself to where I was. After I finally got surgery, I pushed myself to get back to where I was. Then COVID happened, and I atrophied again. Repeat, and I got another herniation at the same place. This one didn't paralyze me (though I was limited), but I still thought it would be best to just not go. Eventually I got another surgery and went back at it. Because I had a history of the problem, it only took 4 months from my injury to get the surgery.

 

Now, instead of comparing myself to how I used to look, I resent myself for not being where I think I should be. Throughout this time, my focus, motivation and discipline for the sport and my fitness has dwindled dramatically. I don't really deal with comparing myself to others, but I do compare myself with the idealized version of myself of what I think I would look like if I didn't have those setbacks. I'm actually resting now and taking the week off because I injured myself at the gym this week and I am very restless in wanting to get back to it.

Edited September 25 by Gladiator

[Into The Void]

First I need to loose some weight

[Bubble Tea]

Yeah a good few years ago, for about 6 months I had a personal trainer and was really focusing on hypertrophy. I was eating like an absolute HORSE and hemorrhaging money on groceries and protein supplements, and all my clothes were starting to get small. Overall it was just causing me added stress to my full time office job and I was feeling exhausted and looking puffy so I gave up.

 

Now I'm happy doing general strength training and F45 training (functional fitness classes). Sure I'd love to get huge bulging muscles but the cost for me just isn't worth it. Maybe if I wasn't working full time and running my household 

 

  

3 minutes ago, Gladiator said:

I am not sure. Bodybuilding used to be my primary focus in life. My life revolved around the gym. From about 2013 to 2017 it was all I thought about. I was prepping to actually start competing, too. I was extremely focused, motivated, and most importantly, disciplined. At the end of that time, I had a very serious disc herniation from pushing myself too far in the gym and I was partially paralyzed for almost a year because it was impacting my spinal cord and it took forever to schedule the surgery - I had so many hoops and conditions I had to go through, including 2 months of completely unnecessary physical therapy that didn't help in any way.

 

I atrophied, needless to say. And since I was used to how I looked after lifting weights, I developed terrible body dysmorphia and always compared myself to where I was. After I finally got surgery, I pushed myself to get back to where I was. Then COVID happened, and I atrophied again. Repeat, and I got another herniation at the same place. This one didn't paralyze me (though I was limited), but I still thought it would be best to just not go. Eventually I got another surgery and went back at it. Because I had a history of the problem, it only took 4 months from my injury to get the surgery.

 

Now, instead of comparing myself to how I used to look, I resent myself for not being where I think I should be. Throughout this time, my focus, motivation and discipline for the sport and my fitness has dwindled dramatically. I don't really deal with comparing myself to others, but I do compare myself with the idealized version of myself of what I think I would look like if I didn't have those setbacks. I'm actually resting now and taking the week off because I injured myself at the gym this week and I am very restless in wanting to get back to it.

Sorry to hear about those setbacks but that really is how life is, success is never linear, always bumps in the road. I have no doubt you're still looking fantastic, just need to learn not to focus so much on comparison to former versions of yourself. This would honestly be a great thing to see a therapist about if that was feasible.

[Cesar]

absolutely not, been consistent with the gym since 2021. althought there are alot of moments where i compare myself & think the amount of work i've put in is not enough for the muscle i gained so far. i just remind myself that being natural is better in the long run. sure doing star*ids might get you there quicker with half the amount of work. but i rather live a healthy life in the long run

[Yes, AND]

4 minutes ago, Tropical said:

Yeah a good few years ago, for about 6 months I had a personal trainer and was really focusing on hypertrophy. I was eating like an absolute HORSE and hemorrhaging money on groceries and protein supplements, and all my clothes were starting to get small. Overall it was just causing me added stress to my full time office job and I was feeling exhausted and looking puffy so I gave up.

 

Now I'm happy doing general strength training and F45 training (functional fitness classes). Sure I'd love to get huge bulging muscles but the cost for me just isn't worth it. Maybe if I wasn't working full time and running my household 

I love F45! I got so ripped doing it during covid. 

 

I also prefer the athletic look. 

[Yes, AND]

18 minutes ago, BrentB said:

It's too much work tbh. You have only so much time during the day, between work & sleep. And all the supplements & all the force-feeding of proteins. And all for what?  So some muscles can be visible from underneath your skin, just to please some vapid, male Regina George'd peanut brained NPCs?

 

From here on out, it's strictly just toning & occasional tune ups no longer than an hour for me. Could go for a few walks, and do some yoga or whatever, but it's honestly never that serious. 

This is exactly what I do now. 

[BrokenMachine]

I never tried since I never had enough time... or money. Also I learned with time to accept that my body will just keep me thin no matter what, unless I really mess up with my already 'kinda' healthy diet, and I'm not willing to pay that price.

 

I'm in and out when it comes to workout. Currently in, and yeah I never do more than an hour. Also I learnt there's a type for everyone, muscular guys are liked in general, but there's also a bunch of guys going after thin or chubby guys

 

[gab00]

Kind of but I still try to exercise to at least look somewhat nice ?

 

 

I did give up -indeed- on ever getting the body of my dreams. Is just not gonna happen

[shimind]

Yup. For me, 10k-15k steps a day, basic bodyweight excercises and a healthy diet with lots of water are enough. I ain't about that protein shake gym rat life. 

[Gladiator]

8 minutes ago, Tropical said:

Sorry to hear about those setbacks but that really is how life is, success is never linear, always bumps in the road. I have no doubt you're still looking fantastic, just need to learn not to focus so much on comparison to former versions of yourself. This would honestly be a great thing to see a therapist about if that was feasible.

I've been dealing with it internally for far too long -- I really should, but I can't spare the money - and unfortunately I always look at health, physical or mental, financially first and foremost. The injury I'm dealing with now, I thought "I can't afford to properly deal with this if this doesn't heal on its own" - since I had two herniations, my mind jumps to that being the underlying issue even if my logical mind thinks it won't. I'm still paying for the first surgery I had.

[freshoutthebuffet]

My username is freshoutthebuffet

 

do you think I ever cared about bodybuilding 

[Anthinos]

I've never really tried it and I don't feel like it. It's too stressful for me and I don't want to have too many muscles. I'm now starting to exercise again to stay healthy and in shape and that's enough for me.

[Goaty]

No  

 

although my mindset these days is much healthier than when I was younger. It's all about focusing on what you have and like about yourself instead of fixating on deficiencies 

[perfect blue]

It's not just the gym that's exhausting, it's having to constantly think about calories and macros.

 

I have a million other things to focus on like a career and hobbies that are actually creative. I'll get 10k steps in a day but that's it for me.

[BionicWooHoo]

I lift 4-5 times a week but I definitely feel like it gets harder and harder to force myself to the gym as I'm getting older. I don't really count my macros other than 1g protein per 1lb body weight but even that is exhausting AF. I also HATE the feeling of guilt and beating myself up when I do miss a gym day or I wasn't able to hit my protein goals on any given day...I need to work on giving myself more grace but yea. 
Also it really sucks being that one person at a house party who is not drinking because you don't want the extra empty calories but also at the same time you have social anxiety in big groups where you have to make small talk w acquaintances. 

I will say though that the men I am able to sleep with now are hotter I guess compared to my early 20s....I look back on some of the men I slept with back then and Im like "...ew I wish I started lifting earlier." I do think at a certain point I think it'd be very freeing at a certain age to just like actually be able to eat whatever. I do miss chips and pizza and junk food and candy though :( 

[єѕℓαм]

Bodybuilding was never my goal i prefer to have fit shredded body like i do now than a bulky roid looking one 

it's not really worth it imo

[itshyolee]

Okay but I need y'all to share some pictures with the class so we can see y'all progress

[Ichinaru19]

I strive to go to the gym 3-5x per week, and I find it to be a nice activity to add into your day. It keeps you active and I find it helps me mentally too. It's nice to see the gains, and I wouldn't necessarily say I go crazy with my diet. I eat generally what I want and I just try to up my protein. The physical improvement definitely helps with my self-esteem too

[welham]

Tbh it just really depends on what you're looking for at a specific moment in life. Bodybuilding was not my goal, I do believe there is a line where things tend to go "too far" and you cannot see it in order to stop it yourself. 

 

While IDK about bodybuilding per se, building muscles and/or losing weight can be SUCH a confidence booster that I think it's worth it if you can afford it. Protein and possibly creatine supplements can be expensive AF, and trying to match the 1.6 grams of protein per 1kg of bodyweight every single day is just so ******* tiresome and, again, expensive.

 

I made the mistake of trying to build muscles first instead of losing weight, so trying to match that 1.6g-protein-per-1kg ratio was brutal and in most days just unrealistic. Yet, as I began seeing my muscles somewhat grow, I kept going at it for well over a year. Obvioustly I was going in blind, aside asking some gym instructors to build me a routine, and I hit a progress wall. I kind of wasted years of my life doing **** for basically nothing, but when I saw result is sure did damn feel so ******* good -even if at an incredibly slow pace. 

 

I began losing weight at some point at a relatively rapid pace, and that made feel so good about myself more than the muscles that I grew. Losing weight also means less protein to buy and consume, so it makes sense financially as well if you're still beginning and trying to decide what to do first, or if you did what I did and are now stuck having hit a progress wall. Haven't been to the gym for around a month now due to certain factors, but I will be trying to lose weight first then build muscles/do hypertrophy afterwards. I'm also hyper aware now that I've been spoiled by my university gym as it was very cheap yet had very high quality equipment, so graduating will hit my gym aspirations HARD when I have to pay regular gym prices on top of the supplements costs

[Lagerfeld]

No. If anything, I want to start getting hot. Bring in the vapid gays!

[YellowRibbon]

I do like 4 hours of cycling + another 4 hours of muscle training. I'm happy with how I look and my weight is finally reaching "normal" levels

 

I might not have the biggest muscles out there, but I also don't have the time nor the energy to have that supermodel body that most gays look for 

[Damien M]

As I've matured, I've leaned more to being more athletic, doing safe workouts for the joints and back— and eating healthier. Incorporated cardio, yoga, cycling and Pilates for form and posture. 
 

the suffocating muscle look was cute when I was 21 but I grew out of it. I still want to look good but in a sustainable way.