aotwbys Posted September 15 Posted September 15 Yes, from age 13 to 16. I'm so sorry that happened to you and I'm so glad you're in the healing process now. 2
Antisocialites Posted September 15 Posted September 15 I haven't been r*ped, but I've been in multiple horrible situations where not only I have felt uncomfortable but also disgusted. I think it has always been common for us women to accept some things when you're socially dealing with men. whether at a bar, at parties or just simply at work. like them forcing you to dance with them in a sexual manner, or just getting touched all over your body. and if drinks are involved, it gets worse as they try to get advantage of you at any opportunity given. I remember once I was in some club with another friend and one guy came to us to ask us for our numbers, we politely declined, but he was persistent to the point where we had to leave the place when he suddenly put himself between us and embraced us through he waist and quickly put his hands on my friend's ass. at my previous job, one of my bosses was straight-forward since the beginning and asked for my personal number to get in touch and know each other better with a disgusting smirk on his face. it was obvious he wanted to either have sexual relationships with me or just simply wanted get to know me for a romantic relationship. I declined and told him it was not appropriate to have that kind of relationship at work (+ I was just not attracted to him, but I'm sure if I had told him that, it would have been so much worse). he didn't stop though, and got very touchy with me, always hugging or putting his hands where they shouldn't be in the first place, and every time we had a conversation he had to resort to sexual jokes or innuendos. he once invited me to dinner, only the two of us because he wanted to have a serious talk about my job. I thought I was either getting a raise or I was getting fired. so I went, and to my surprise (it wasn't an actual surprise because as women we always have to put ourselves in the worst situation imaginable) the dinner was simply a date that he wanted to have with me because he really liked me. he was touching me all the time: my hands, my legs and even rubbing himself on me whenever he got up and went to the bathroom. at this point I was already uncomfortable and distressed, but it got worse when he started to talk about how attracted he is to black women and how he loves our skin, and how sexual we are, that he loves interracial relationships and that he wants to have sex for the first time with a black woman like me. he talked about his body and how fit he is, and showed me some nudes on his phone. I felt repulsed and miserable, so I simply got up and got myself off there very quickly. he tried to stop me once but when quiet when he noticed people were looking at us. I left the place and filed for my resignation the day after. 1
Mornings Posted September 15 Posted September 15 (edited) Thanks for everyone's stories. It's really mind blowing how many of you guys I can relate to. It's terrible but it kind of gives me a peace of mind of shared experience. Once by my college roommate and then another time on vacation with a friend. I was alseep and was woken up by both experiences. Both took me a decade to process because no one believed me not college guidance counselors, not mutual friends. I just assumed gay sex was just like this. I was closeted in college and my roommate was out and scary AF. Anyway I began cleaning up the ripple effect of these experiences 4 years ago and I'm happily sober, in a loving committed beautifully gay relationship, and I'm finally about to go finish my degree(I dropped out because of anxiety after the assault). I still struggle with anxiety especially around intimacy, and insomnia, and sleep paralysis but it's getting easier day by day. Edited September 15 by Mornings 1
YourFavoriteWeapon Posted September 15 Author Posted September 15 4 hours ago, aotwbys said: Yes, from age 13 to 16. I'm so sorry that happened to you and I'm so glad you're in the healing process now. Thank you so much for the sweet words, I value you
YourFavoriteWeapon Posted September 15 Author Posted September 15 4 hours ago, Antisocialites said: I haven't been r*ped, but I've been in multiple horrible situations where not only I have felt uncomfortable but also disgusted. I think it has always been common for us women to accept some things when you're socially dealing with men. whether at a bar, at parties or just simply at work. like them forcing you to dance with them in a sexual manner, or just getting touched all over your body. and if drinks are involved, it gets worse as they try to get advantage of you at any opportunity given. I remember once I was in some club with another friend and one guy came to us to ask us for our numbers, we politely declined, but he was persistent to the point where we had to leave the place when he suddenly put himself between us and embraced us through he waist and quickly put his hands on my friend's ass. at my previous job, one of my bosses was straight-forward since the beginning and asked for my personal number to get in touch and know each other better with a disgusting smirk on his face. it was obvious he wanted to either have sexual relationships with me or just simply wanted get to know me for a romantic relationship. I declined and told him it was not appropriate to have that kind of relationship at work (+ I was just not attracted to him, but I'm sure if I had told him that, it would have been so much worse). he didn't stop though, and got very touchy with me, always hugging or putting his hands where they shouldn't be in the first place, and every time we had a conversation he had to resort to sexual jokes or innuendos. he once invited me to dinner, only the two of us because he wanted to have a serious talk about my job. I thought I was either getting a raise or I was getting fired. so I went, and to my surprise (it wasn't an actual surprise because as women we always have to put ourselves in the worst situation imaginable) the dinner was simply a date that he wanted to have with me because he really liked me. he was touching me all the time: my hands, my legs and even rubbing himself on me whenever he got up and went to the bathroom. at this point I was already uncomfortable and distressed, but it got worse when he started to talk about how attracted he is to black women and how he loves our skin, and how sexual we are, that he loves interracial relationships and that he wants to have sex for the first time with a black woman like me. he talked about his body and how fit he is, and showed me some nudes on his phone. I felt repulsed and miserable, so I simply got up and got myself off there very quickly. he tried to stop me once but when quiet when he noticed people were looking at us. I left the place and filed for my resignation the day after. I just finished reading this and it's very harrowing. I'm relieved you found employment somewhere else given that I know what that's like.
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