discussion Do you hook up w/ people "out of your league" ?

[Lil' Oz]

I don't ever feel like someone's out of my league. I don't belittle myself like that.

[Weld_E]

I use to have that insecurity but not anymore. I hooked up with a muscled doctor in NYC who lives in the East Village, and whilst he was "out of league" on paper. However, the way he turned into a complete ***** in bed made me realize its more about your confidence and how you carry yourself and less about your physique. 

[Witnessed ET]

If you had asked me this question a few years ago, I would have said I'd gladly take up the hottest guy I can find even if they're leagues above me.

 

but now that I have grown up, matured and had a glow up over the years, I've realized that sexual chemistry is more important/attractive than how "hot" your sexual partner is on the surface. I mean of course I still have my standards and I wouldn't deviate much lower from it, but the things that matter to me now are beyond just looks or physique. 

[Mordecai]

At the end of the day attraction is subjective. Sure there are people out there who are more objectively or conventionally attractive than others, but you have no idea what others are attracted to, especially if you're talking about gay culture where there are so many types. I won't lie I get a bit of imposter syndrome whenever someone who I think is out of my league is interested in me, but they're interested for a reason, right?

 

I've also learnt to just shoot my shot regardless because the worst that's going to happen to you is a no

[Dante Silva]

Yes, I'm lucky in that I can pass as a member of the opposite sex (without surgery) which creates a heightened level of fascination from straight men from every demographic and walk of life. A lot of straight guys see it as a sign of their own attractiveness to incite attraction in someone they are attracted to who is not a cis opposite.

[gardendreams]

There's a theory for this called the matching hypothesis! It essentially says relationships are more successful when people are equally attractive socially and physically. Humans naturally date within their league. 

 

I think everyone I've shown interest in has been roughly in my league and I was in theirs!

 

 

[CherryBay]

There isn't such a thing "your league"

[tjspy]

8 hours ago, Strawberry Bubble said:

what made him a bad ksiser? 

He just didn't really know where to put his tongue or lips, the rythm was bad. He was giving tongue, but at the same time was not opening enough the mouth. Idk, it was just bland.

[BrokenMachine]

I tried but most of them have turned out to be really intense (which I'm not) or want to have everything their own way 

[Homebrand]

I generally go for slightly uglier bc I'm toxic and need the upper hand with everything ugh why am I like this 

[brenda-walsh]

i think you should reframe your thinking in terms of "being out of someone's league"

 

its so easy to think like this, especially when on grindr and constantly inundated with guys looking to hookup. the reality is that people either find someone attractive or unattractive. there's no such thing as a "league" and buying into that concept is just a head start to lowering your self-esteem and self-confidence. it all comes down to how you carry yourself and the type of energy you give off

 

if you know you're the **** that will rub off on guys. if you feel intimidated by someone's looks, that will also rub off. i say just love yourself and be confident and happy in who you are and you will attract the right types of guys

[White Rabbit]

Yes, not intentionally though. If I find them really cute/attractive, that's already telling for me because they're always the ones that aren't that interested in meeting again ddd.

It honestly kinda embarrasses me for some reason as well 

Edited August 30 by White Rabbit

[YourFavoriteWeapon]

I mean people usually tell me I'm a 6-7/10 depending on the day and I've gotten with objective 9s who wanted me for my donkey dick so  I guess the answer is yes? I consider my boyfriend more attractive than me but he doesn't really agree so it's dd.