It is often a performance. Men, whether gay or straight, can never just be and are often influenced by society's opinions and perceptions of what it means to be a man—through the general constructed idea of "masculinity." And, so, many men do put on a performance of "masculinity" to avoid persecution or negative feedback. I mean, how many men pretend to not like something that may be deemed as "feminine?" How many men put a little extra bass in their voice when speaking in a group of men? How many men choose darker colors to wear, even though they may actually like brighter colors? How many men will pretend to not care about the music from female artists, for example, but may absolutely find their voices and various artistry captivating? That's what performance is.

 

The older I get, it completely baffles me more and more as to why people are always worried about what someone else is doing or how they're carrying themselves when that has absolutely nothing at all to do with them. I just wish people were able to just let people be.

This goes both ways. Gays always think that if you're not feminime then you have internalized homophobia

Lots of guys are very fake. Girls would never. 

yes and it feels like it must be EXHAUSTING for straight guys who have primarily straight guy friends to keep it up

 

I often observe these groups in public just out of curiosity and they're so clearly acting it's quite sad

Masculinity is a prison.

 

 

Yes for some, but I find excessive flamboyancy also very performative. 

A good chunk of both masculinity and femininity is all a performance. It's so insidious most people don't know when they're doing it. Everyone's playing a character assigned at birth.

Women are attracted to masculinity and peoples behaviors are subconsciously centered around their procreation potential and ability (our animalistic evolution and drive) Doing things that aren't masculine is a "threat" to that, so to say, so they subconsciously program themselves to try to avoid doing it. Similar concept with the roles reversed.

it CAN be performance

 

but it can also be one of the most natural things in one's life

 

but I think at the end of the day, what's most important for our generation and the ensuing generations is cultivating a mindset in which masculinity can have a wider definition than ever before. I like to think I straddle masculinity, femininity, and androgyny (which, yes, is its own thing that can be separated from traditional masculinity or femininity), and I like to think that I have a healthy masculine mindset in which I'm content with my body, content with my fluid sexuality, and accepting and becoming confident in my personality, my speaking voice, and the way I look. performative masculinity is mostly about presentation with others, but if you're finding more ways to live for yourself and be unapologetic in your personality and creative output (which can mean many things for different people), then you can have a predominantly positive relationship with masculinity. we just need to accept a broader scope at the end of the day 

No. Most people are just themselves. Some people are naturally more masculine or more feminine, some are in between.

 

I guess Judith Butler made up some theories in the early 90s that got popular, and here we are.

i never understood this take