discussion Do you mind being asked if you're gay out of the blue?

[terrorblade]

depends on where i am/who i'm with

[dinorhino]

9 hours ago, JoeAg said:

well maybe for others, but that's not the case for me. I've dissected this with my past two therapists at length respectively and it's not that I think of being gay as inferior. for me, it's an association with these older queer people in my neighborhood growing up who, from the time I came out at age 13, and them already being in their fifties, they'd tell me to "pick a side!"

 

i would react strongly in a similarly annoyed manner if someone ever were to assume i'm straight in the way that that girl assumed i was gay 

 

most guys i've dated have been gay and I've loved them and honored them so hard and have felt nothing but complete respect for their sexualities

 

I just personally don't like the invalidation and casual erasure of my identity

Now here's a question for you. In a MLM relationship with another gay guy and either your boyfriend or someone else said you were in a gay relationship or called you a gay couple, would it bother you?

 

I suppose I understand what you mean but I kind of have the inverse problem in a way. I'm technically bisexual but I've never identified as that and I've always identified as gay and want it to stay that way but I remember having some friends very frequently question how gay I was. I never took offence to it but it was definitely jarring because I have internalised my image of being a gay man so people question my gayness made me feel very conflicted 

 

 

Edited Saturday at 12:46 AM by dinorhino

[A.R.L]

Depends on the context. Because you usually don't ask random people if they are hetero 

[fountain]

I suppose not. What am I gonna do, lie and say no? It should already be pretty obvious, and it's easier to have somebody else put it out in the open than have to worry about bringing it up yourself. 
 

[JonginBey]

If they're asking with the intent of stirring **** up, yes; otherwise, I don't mind.

[Amaranth]

On 6/26/2024 at 4:21 PM, theoghon said:

Interestingly, someone did so at my workplace recently.

 

I found it extremely awkward and uncalled for tbh, please mind your own business and keep pushing

How did you respond? 

[Frappucino]

I wish I'd get asked more often, the amount of times straight bros be talking about "their hoes" to me is just  

[xxxlamb]

On 6/26/2024 at 4:39 PM, dumbsparce said:

It's only a big deal bc your delusion of passing as a straight man has come to an abrupt end.

 

Bet the opposite would be a compliment right?

 

 

(ps we've all been there)

 

why did i read this with Azalea Banks' voice 

[Tropical]

I mean they only want to confirm so they can officially categorize you as a lesser man in their eyes, let's be real