JoeAg Posted June 13 Posted June 13 with my last boyfriend (who's likely gonna be my last relationship for a VERY long time lol), there was an element of… wanting something new, a change, and someone to make music with reliably for a long-term period for the first time in a LONG time. he had been my first partner who was also a musician since my ex-boyfriend who I dated from 2015 to 2017. I dated this most recent ex from the beginning of august 2023 to the end of september, so our relationship was only somewhere around 52 or 53 days, but it was long enough to know that he was an emotionally abusive pos. it's funny because i don't think i'll ever be monogamous, i think that's just not how i'm wired. I embrace polyamory and sexual and romantic freedom to the heart. but anyway, in the same vein, i don't think my ex boyfriend will ever be polyamorous, even though he wanted to be so bad cause all his cool little trendy gay denver fwends are and I am. so yeah we just were NOT a match at awl but there was a random spark of change midsummer last year when I was like "i don't want a summerboy right now, i want an actual partner!!"
Batsy Armada Posted June 13 Posted June 13 My motivation is at an all-time low, especially since I haven't been in a relationship in over 10 years. I guess the last "date" I was on was sometime last year, though it didn't and wasn't going to lead anywhere. So, it was ultimately pointless. I've talked to guys, remaining hopeful, but each one is more disappointing than the last. And then, of course, whenever I match with people on apps—which is quite a lot—they never speak or are just as mundane as I thought they would be upon hesitating to swipe right. So, I'm just at a loss to the point where my motivation is just at rock bottom. One of the only ways that'll change is if someone interesting enough actively pursues me, which isn't happening because so many guys out here are just virtually brain dead and have no personality to speak of. The other only way I'd find motivation to date is if I moved somewhere else and was around different type of people. Because it's just not it here. 1 1
Kern Posted July 5 Posted July 5 On 6/13/2024 at 11:29 AM, Kern said: but one time one guy texted me because he liked the song I shared and it turned out we have very similar music taste and I also found him attractive and we are metting this Saturday and this time it just feels more right and exciting instead of like a chore well, we are together now 3
Daddy Posted July 5 Posted July 5 I stopped dating/seeing men in 2019 and never looked back. I'm so happy on my own and I really don't think I could ever tolerate making compromises for anyone. When I come home I don't wanna talk about my day. I just wanna shut up and do whatever I feel like. Single forever it is 1
katara Posted July 6 Posted July 6 (edited) Honestly I am so tired of trying and 99,9% of the material on gay dating apps are useless for one reason or another... ...but then I remember how great the highs of being in a relationship are and that's what keeps me going to search further. Edited July 6 by katara
katara Posted July 6 Posted July 6 (edited) On 6/13/2024 at 8:56 PM, Batsy Armada said: My motivation is at an all-time low, especially since I haven't been in a relationship in over 10 years. I guess the last "date" I was on was sometime last year, though it didn't and wasn't going to lead anywhere. So, it was ultimately pointless. I've talked to guys, remaining hopeful, but each one is more disappointing than the last. And then, of course, whenever I match with people on apps—which is quite a lot—they never speak or are just as mundane as I thought they would be upon hesitating to swipe right. So, I'm just at a loss to the point where my motivation is just at rock bottom. One of the only ways that'll change is if someone interesting enough actively pursues me, which isn't happening because so many guys out here are just virtually brain dead and have no personality to speak of. The other only way I'd find motivation to date is if I moved somewhere else and was around different type of people. Because it's just not it here. Omg same especially the last sentence. I am really thinking that I am in the wrong place not just for dating but in general. But if I move I would lose my connections and friends and my desire to find a whole new friends cricle is much lower than my desire to date. Not to mention it's hard af as an adult to find new friends. Also really felt the part about lack of genuine interest from the other side. Whenever I have a spark with someone the other side runs it into the ground by doing the bare minimum and expecting me to do all the work. And when I also stop then it just dies silently. Edited July 6 by katara
Gesamtkunstwerk Posted July 6 Posted July 6 7 hours ago, katara said: Whenever I have a spark with someone the other side runs it into the ground by doing the bare minimum and expecting me to do all the work. And when I also stop then it just dies silently. As soon as this happens I move on because I assume they lost interest, which is fair, but the funny thing is as soon as I then stop giving them any attention, they come running back But I'm glad they do, it really sorts out the people who genuinely likes you, and the people who would just take attention from anyone until they don't need it anymore
kataraqueen Posted July 6 Posted July 6 On 6/13/2024 at 3:47 AM, Alldeezy said: force to do him favours and if I didn't id get spat on in my latest one oh?
Batsy Armada Posted July 6 Posted July 6 10 hours ago, katara said: Omg same especially the last sentence. I am really thinking that I am in the wrong place not just for dating but in general. But if I move I would lose my connections and friends and my desire to find a whole new friends cricle is much lower than my desire to date. Not to mention it's hard af as an adult to find new friends. Also really felt the part about lack of genuine interest from the other side. Whenever I have a spark with someone the other side runs it into the ground by doing the bare minimum and expecting me to do all the work. And when I also stop then it just dies silently. I get that completely, being in the wrong place. Or the feeling of it. I genuinely do believe that if I were living elsewhere I'd have already been in a relationship. I always vibe and connect with people not of this area. I used to really think it was just me, and I went years feeling that way, but I've been vindicated by people who say that people out here really are just "different." And they are. There has to be just one other person like me floating around here that I haven't yet come across. There just has to be.
RoughOperator Posted July 6 Posted July 6 (edited) These posts are so depressing to read :( I've tried to actively date for periods of time, but I've learned not to have expectations at all. I'm in my early 20s and I've never been in a relationship. I've met some guys and had a handful of situationships but in my case it's always been one sided in some way (either because of me or the other guy). I've never felt a reciprocal spark between me and those I've been seeing, or if I did it was only to find out they actually didn't and it was me projecting and being delusional. But even then, I really liked (or better say idealized probably) someone like that 2 times in total, neither of them ending anywhere. Sometimes I truly feel disconnected and despise the fact that I'm sort of permitting these guys to come and go into my life and letting the possibility to actually develop something slide away, be it even just a friendship, basing on just ONE damn date set up with a random app. It's why I hate Grindr/dating apps and their mechanism but can't help being stuck with it. On 6/12/2024 at 11:13 PM, KeshaSwift said: Because when it works out it's the best thing ever. heck , if you have some decent men around go for it and don't think too much!! in my case I have the willingness, but the men here all suck lmao (Milan) Can sort of second that (Milan too) Edited July 6 by RoughOperator
CottageHore Posted July 7 Posted July 7 You word for word described exactly how I feel. I was in one emotionally exhausting relationship and kept trying to enter new relationships afterward but it was such an ego thing. I just needed to feel validation and felt societal pressures to date and meet someone new but it's been 3 years since my last relationship and I haven't gone on a single date and I've never been happier. I know myself better than ever and I'm so much more myself when I'm single (which is something I'm getting curious about because I clearly have something I need to address there). However, I'm not against a relationship. I'd be very happy finding my person but I just don't see how I ever will because I have absolutely no desire or urge to go find a relationship. He'll literally have to show up at my doorstep and if he doesn't- Idgaf. 1
Venice B Posted July 7 Posted July 7 (edited) I don't feel mentally ready to date anyone because I feel like a failure, my job sucks ass and this lack of financial stability makes me emotionally unstable to date as well because I feel like I can't provide anything, so I resort to hookups and that's it Edited July 7 by Venice B
Sprite Posted July 7 Posted July 7 I don't find the motivation. I'm 25 and have never been on a date.
monologueNacafe Posted July 8 Posted July 8 I've never had a real dating life. I've had maybe two in the last five years.
swifthino Posted July 8 Posted July 8 i feel the same way hdhdhdhhd, it's almost like putting yourself up for sale but then again being in relationship with someone who truly loves you is kinda the greatest thing ever so i will keep trying to find the one
brenda-walsh Posted July 9 Posted July 9 recently i've actually had a lot of motivation to date and have been talking to guys on grindr in more of that way. i had two dates lined up last month but both guys ended up cancelling in one way or another. i've never been in a real relationship and only dated one guy seriously before so i honestly just want to get out and meet people even if i dont end up liking them. 1
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