glitch Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 (edited) I haven't been on a proper date in just over a year and whilst part of me does want to put myself back out there, the thought of it fills me with dread. I find the swiping and constant introductions kinda soul destroying. Whenever I am in a dating phase I get so anxious about every notification that pops up on my phone. I find myself being overly critical of my appearance and constantly worried about how I'm coming across. Ordinarily when I'm not dating, these aren't things I'm really insecure about at all. I do enjoy the actual dates and meeting new people, but all the admin of the apps is exhausting. Even when I do meet people I think most of them are sweet and nice but I rarely feel actual attraction towards them. I feel a lot happier and confident when I'm not dating. Both times I've deleted the apps and taken a break from dating I've felt such a huge relief. But then equally I think it would be nice to meet like minded person to share (at least part of) my life with. I know people say it's a numbers game but where do you get the motivation to continue when it hasn't worked out so many times? To clarify this is not a "woe is me, I'm going to die alone" post. I'm very happy being single, but a serious relationship just feels like a part of adulthood that I haven't properly experienced yet and I would like to at some point. Edited June 12 by glitch 7 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorjesspazze9 Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 I never been on a date 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheep Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 (edited) I just don't care/try until somebody I'm interested in tries to pursue me, then I don't care enough so it falls apart after a short while. Maybe when I'm in my 30s I'll be more serious, for now I have other priorities. Edited June 12 by Sheep 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Idle Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 The motivation is the D 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selena_lavigne Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 (edited) Me? Dating? HA. I tried. I tried. But it's not for me. My life circumstances made me self-absorbed and insecure and not interested in anything. Except music. The music i listen to is just too quality to stop caring. Edited June 12 by selena_lavigne 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
State of Grace. Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 (edited) The way I relate to this word for word. Scream. I have never been a fan of the apps and all of my dates have been "organic" so far, but lord the initial stages of talking/seeing someone are so anxiety inducing and soul crushing to me. My last situationship is from a year ago and I don't even wanna think about starting something new. I'm pretty content with being single and not mingling, but sometimes I feel like I will look back and "regret" not getting into serious relationships in my mid 20s. I really admire people who can constantly put themselves out there, start new talking stages, go on multiple dates, then do it all over again. I simply don't have the effort. Edited June 12 by State of Grace. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyshimmery Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 There should be requirements to dating. I haven't been dating recently, but back when I was... I kept running into bums without a job, or still living with parents/roommates in their 30s... or guys who are just players. I've gone on tinder recently just to check out the landscape, and I can't believe there are guys who put "still figuring it out" on the "looking for" section... like bro you're pushing 40. Like why be on a dating app when you know you aren't being serious? plus, I keep seeing the same men over and over throughout the years. What's hilarious is that they have the same pics from years ago /rant I just got out of a long term relationship a month ago, so I am not ready to date right now. But I am very worried about it. I'm in my 30s and finding serious guys was a struggle in the past, i can't imagine what it'll be like this time around. I really want to meet someone organically at like a coffee shop or an event... but since I rarely leave my house these days... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geodude Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 I used to feel the pressure to date but as i'm getting older (i'm 27) I feel like I've spent my 20s chasing men and I'm sick of it. I've been more into learning about myself more and achieving goals/creating good social relationships and stuff like that. I think if it's meant to happen I will eventually find someone but as far as going out my way and seeking a dates/relationship i'm over it 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeshaSwift Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 (edited) Because when it works out it's the best thing ever. heck , if you have some decent men around go for it and don't think too much!! in my case I have the willingness, but the men here all suck lmao (Milan) Edited June 12 by KeshaSwift 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glitch Posted June 12 Author Share Posted June 12 15 minutes ago, State of Grace. said: I have never been a fan of the apps and all of my dates have been "organic" so far, but lord the initial stages of talking/seeing someone are so anxiety inducing and soul crushing to me. The only organic date I ever had, he turned out to be a coke head and actually went to the toilet to do coke during our date He also got into an argument with a random guy about the Labour party and Jeremy Corbyn (but that was kinda hot to me idk ). 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glitch Posted June 12 Author Share Posted June 12 7 minutes ago, geodude said: I used to feel the pressure to date but as i'm getting older (i'm 27) I feel like I've spent my 20s chasing men and I'm sick of it. I've been more into learning about myself more and achieving goals/creating good social relationships and stuff like that. I think if it's meant to happen I will eventually find someone but as far as going out my way and seeking a dates/relationship i'm over it We're the same age but I feel the opposite nnn. I've spent more of my adult life not dating than actually dating men. I didn't go on any dates for like 3 years in my early 20s which was partially out of choice and partly because that coincided with lockdown. Idk maybe I feel like I've spent too much time working on myself, my career and hobbies and I might be missing out on other experiences like dating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
State of Grace. Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 8 minutes ago, glitch said: The only organic date I ever had, he turned out to be a coke head and actually went to the toilet to do coke during our date He also got into an argument with a random guy about the Labour party and Jeremy Corbyn (but that was kinda hot to me idk ). ksdjkks sorry sis that sounds kinda fun but def wouldn't go on a second one with him tho 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geodude Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 3 minutes ago, glitch said: We're the same age but I feel the opposite nnn. I've spent more of my adult life not dating than actually dating men. I didn't go on any dates for like 3 years in my early 20s which was partially out of choice and partly because that coincided with lockdown. Idk maybe I feel like I've spent too much time working on myself, my career and hobbies and I might be missing out on other experiences like dating. I say put continue to put yourself out there if that's what you feel like you're missing. Most people I know who are in happy relationships actually found their partners randomly while doing a hobby/being in spaces that they naturally gravitate towards. It's funny and cliche, but I really think love finds you when you're least expecting it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
selena_lavigne Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 2 minutes ago, geodude said: I say put continue to put yourself out there if that's what you feel like you're missing. Most people I know who are in happy relationships actually found their partners randomly while doing a hobby/being in spaces that they naturally gravitate towards. It's funny and cliche, but I really think love finds you when you're least expecting it. Part of the fun in dating tho is that you're not in love and that you get to witness the complete mess every single human you go out with is. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vixen Eyes Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 i dont date Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reginald Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 (edited) It's nonexistent Dating (especially online) feels very contrived. I have FWBs if I want something physical, but otherwise I'm hoping to find a partner spontaneously. All of my relationships have started by talking in-person. Edited June 12 by Reginald Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AbeHicks Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 I haven't been on a proper date in like 1,5 years and I don't even miss it. The issue is I just have a great time being alone and if I want sex there is no shortage of gorgeous men to choose from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trueromance Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 i don't lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightingale Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 I didn't really have the motivation until I saw my ex get in a new relationship and the depression started creeping in about being single Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rotunda Posted June 12 Share Posted June 12 My motivation to find a man who will cook for me was much stronger than any fear I had 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
єѕℓαм Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Honestly i only date when i travel and it's so much fun for the most part whenever i'm in a new country i tend to date a lot and i stay in touch with the ones i actually like but never to the point of a relationship cos honestly i don't have the time or the energy for that anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trent W Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 I hate dating tbh I'm happier alone But I do wanna be maybe a parent, not sure yet The dating landscape right now is a disaster, it used to be easier years ago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alldeezy Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Same I've been single 2 years Haven't had s*x in 4 years Haven't been on a date in 4 years And whenever a guy is interested I tend to push them away because I got used to being my own company I'm 32 I want my next to be my forever and most guys give me the ick or too clingy 😂 plus my last 2 relationship I was treated the so awful I don't want to date ever again. I was yelled at for laughing in one and force to do him favours and if I didn't id get spat on in my latest one. Men suck and I don't want to ever be stuck in a toxic relationship again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suilen Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 Everything I've heard from my friends regarding dating sounds miserable, so I don't even bother, and it's not like I'm in the right state for that anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kern Posted June 13 Share Posted June 13 This year I deleted tinder and still haven't used it for a long time now. And generally it got to the point where I wouldn't even bother with people that texted me on insta etc. because I was unmotivated and found myself not caring about dating at all but one time one guy texted me because he liked the song I shared and it turned out we have very similar music taste and I also found him attractive and we are metting this Saturday and this time it just feels more right and exciting instead of like a chore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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