liam13 Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 I'm not completely out of the closet yet. only friends that i made from discord know. that's why i really need some things to let the gay around me know that i swing their way and if they're interested in me (probably not ), they can give me some hints back. i'm a southeast asian btw. so if you could give advices based on cultures around here, that'll be great. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TROPICUM Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 wear heels idk 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ImpressMeMuch Posted May 16 Popular Post Share Posted May 16 show a little bit of this above your waistband 18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImpressMeMuch Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 (nah but I owe you a real response too) I'd say just aim to be an open and accepting person to others - as you develop trust with them it will be easier to broach the topic and perhaps make them comfortable to make that first move. Or, perhaps in time and in privacy between you two you would be comfortable with it! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ks_dollar Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 Casually ask if they know what a DL verse top is 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liam13 Posted May 16 Author Share Posted May 16 2 minutes ago, ImpressMeMuch said: (nah but I owe you a real response too) I'd say just aim to be an open and accepting person to others - as you develop trust with them it will be easier to broach the topic and perhaps make them comfortable to make that first move. Or, perhaps in time and in privacy between you two you would be comfortable with it! well, about that. i find it hard to talk (hold conversations) with the people i don't have chemistry with, like there are a few girls that i just find talking with them easy, like i can just say anything and jokes around. with guys, it's a different story. also i'm asking for hints to give people ideas rather than to give a person, since guys i'm interested in are probably straight 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liam13 Posted May 16 Author Share Posted May 16 14 minutes ago, ImpressMeMuch said: show a little bit of this above your waistband this is not subtle at all 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vixen Eyes Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 maybe change the way you walk around certain people? i kinda have a hip swivel when im around men 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dumbsparce Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 Wear a bandana/headband with the characters "F*G" written across it. And yes, the asterisk is literal bc you said subtle. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liam13 Posted May 16 Author Share Posted May 16 2 minutes ago, Vixen Eyes said: maybe change the way you walk around certain people? i kinda have a hip swivel when im around men hmm. this might werk but idk. the way i walk, imo, is already a lil fruity 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harwee Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 (edited) They probably already know. Edited May 16 by harwee 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XxxKatyCatxxX Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 Start dropping the "so cute". That shirt is so cute, don't you think? or This man is so cute etc. I think this will give the person hints. Bonus points if you do that while talking, I'm straight and people were saying I'm gay because I was doing this when I was young: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gatito Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 oh they know and you'll know too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyride Posted May 16 Share Posted May 16 buy a fruity fragrance 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ariesgroove Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 say partner instead of boyfriend/girlfriend, they'll piece it together then 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueTimberwolf Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 The vocal fry and limp wrist is the obvious sign. Do it discreetly when you two are alone, but do it obviously and right in front of him. If he's gay he'll "know" and can privately reveal himself too or make a move if interested. If he's not gay, he either won't get it or pretend to not get it and you can pretend you were just joking. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenMachine Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 Watch every Shawn Mendes interview, you'll learn something from it 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJZAW Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 Just mention your partner with the pronoun 'he' if they take it bad, then say another he he because you're an MJ fan . 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I'm JAVIng Fun Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 Honestly, unless you are doing the stereotypical "gay" things like cross-dressing or talking in slang that only we know, most of them will never get the hint usually. People in our culture are used to not giving usually any "obvious" hints that we are gay. For example, when I came out, many of my friends were telling me "Not obvious" or "Really? I didn't know?" since sadly unless you tell them outright you are gay, nobody will take hints unless you indeed have some gay stereotypes attached to you already. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liam13 Posted May 17 Author Share Posted May 17 3 hours ago, gatito said: oh they know and you'll know too problem is they don't i mean, my first crush did make fun of my voice but that's years ago. now, the guys who i'm close to at work still think i like girls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liam13 Posted May 17 Author Share Posted May 17 38 minutes ago, I'm JAVIng Fun said: Honestly, unless you are doing the stereotypical "gay" things like cross-dressing or talking in slang that only we know, most of them will never get the hint usually. People in our culture are used to not giving usually any "obvious" hints that we are gay. For example, when I came out, many of my friends were telling me "Not obvious" or "Really? I didn't know?" since sadly unless you tell them outright you are gay, nobody will take hints unless you indeed have some gay stereotypes attached to you already. that's why i made this thread. i could use some visual signals, not too obvious for straight guys but obvious for gay guys, to "out" myself to them. guess i'll never know since most answers here are for for english speaking countries and mine isn't one. i appreciate the help tho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJZAW Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 Being a southeast asian I do feel I owe you a legitimate explanation. Imo giving small hints is worse than coming out because they will talk behind your back and you might not be ready to handle all the rumours, questions, and bullying (hopefully none though). Coming out at least puts the line in the sand that the news come from you and you alone, it was YOUR decision. So don't give small hints unless you're ready to come out. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I'm JAVIng Fun Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 44 minutes ago, liam13 said: that's why i made this thread. i could use some visual signals, not too obvious for straight guys but obvious for gay guys, to "out" myself to them. guess i'll never know since most answers here are for for english speaking countries and mine isn't one. i appreciate the help tho Coming out is better than just giving hints, you'll regret trying to give hints rather than just coming out. 40 minutes ago, JJZAW said: Being a southeast asian I do feel I owe you a legitimate explanation. Imo giving small hints is worse than coming out because they will talk behind your back and you might not be ready to handle all the rumours, questions, and bullying (hopefully none though). Coming out at least puts the line in the sand that the news come from you and you alone, it was YOUR decision. So don't give small hints unless you're ready to come out. I agree with what JJZAW said here. Giving hints can give off the wrong vibes to others, especially to straight men. Like for example if you already know they are straight and you still pursue them while have not come out, they will be given an excuse to bully you because it is not known to them that you're gay. And we all don't want that right? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liam13 Posted May 17 Author Share Posted May 17 36 minutes ago, JJZAW said: Being a southeast asian I do feel I owe you a legitimate explanation. Imo giving small hints is worse than coming out because they will talk behind your back and you might not be ready to handle all the rumours, questions, and bullying (hopefully none though). Coming out at least puts the line in the sand that the news come from you and you alone, it was YOUR decision. So don't give small hints unless you're ready to come out. could i just give subtle signs that only the gay know? fyi, people at work are pretty ok (i guess) with homosexuality so rumors could help a little me thinks. besides, there are gays at my office and i haven't seen any bullying yet (except some stupid homophobic jokes) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJZAW Posted May 17 Share Posted May 17 15 minutes ago, liam13 said: could i just give subtle signs that only the gay know? Show them all the joke comments from this thread. If they laugh, then gay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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