video game PokéRate: Unova [Gen 5] | The crowned winner is... | P. 114

[Suilen]

11 minutes ago, Heldenzeit said:

118

4,611

 

 

11: /

10: Touch Pass, BambiStar, Gourgeist

----

1: Magickarp, UnusualBoy, AbeHicks, Norte, PillowCase, Chiidish, Funnyfatty, Sawk

0: /

 

 

Meloetta Carey: she looks evil… I like that

Bartender: Pampers ass ***** but the design is cool 

Conker: Chicken Little. 

Konril: Region based from USA, Dark type and wearing a diaper?

The disrespect for a baby butch

 

[Heldenzeit]

115 - 101 later tonight

 

I'd suggest our usual 22 CEST / 4 PM EDT?

[Konril]

You dumping the basics first, we better see some controversial picks when the ratings are better.

[Suilen]

11 minutes ago, Konril said:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the Alomomola so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I'm posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about Water types more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it's not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously ******* hate them. THE ALOMOMOLA They are the world's largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant ******* dinner plates that Arceus must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that Pokemon Professors even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT ******* GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn't put them where they need to ******* go. So they don't have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn't just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it'll ******* sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, **** outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some Pokemon Professors have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one ******* knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it's basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. "If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators." No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Heldenzeit sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat Frillish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it's so stupidly ******* big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) "Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!" Do not let that expression fool you, they just don't have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all ****. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the **** out of them for kicks. Sealeos have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. "Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that Arceus has abandoned us." Yes, thank you. "But if they're so bad at literally everything, why haven't they gone extinct." Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY ******* EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT'S DOING MAYBE THE WORST ******* JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that'll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the **** out of this complete failure of evolution, the Alomomola. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.

[Magickarp]

A 3 stage line, something not many post G5 gens have

 

9 minutes ago, Heldenzeit said:

115 - 101 later tonight

 

I'd suggest our usual 22 CEST / 4 PM EDT?

When u said my 11 wasn't dropping, did u mean the surprise reveals, or tonights reveal

[Heldenzeit]

Just now, Magickarp said:

A 3 stage line, something not many post G5 gens have

 

When u said my 11 wasn't dropping, did u mean the surprise reveals, or tonights reveal

You're safe for today 

[Ponzi]

10 minutes ago, Suilen said:

The disrespect for a baby butch

 

I can't believe she's gone before the disgusting eagles.

 

[Funnyfatty]

57 minutes ago, Heldenzeit said:

119

4,59

 

11: @Funnyfatty

10: Magickarp, Bartender, Gourgeist

----

1: Save The Day, artc0cx, Norte, Conker, Touch Pass, gardendreams, Ponzi, coolcristobal

0: /

 

AMIT: should have been a luvdisc evo and I will keep saying it

Rigalo: ANNOYING 

Meloetta Carey: always reminded me of a reality tv star idk why

Gardendreams: id eat

Bartender: C U N T

Conker: Alomomola's WWE theme song is the Potential Break Up Song by Aly & AJ. 

Suilen: the palindrome in its name is the only interesting thing about it

Sunbathinganimal: why wasn't this a luvdisc evo?

TSwiftie: Shouldve been a Luvdisc evolution instead

Red Light: When everyone thought this was gonna be a Luvdisc evolution and it turned out: nope! Just a ripoff!

Ewan Chaos: Why did they even make this thing sidhsiohdois Luvdisc I don't even care for you but Luvdisc SWEETIE

Artcocx: a bigger luvdisk and an ugly one

Memeboy: gorgeous

Excuse me wtf is this? Are you joking? I gave my highest score to Mienshao. I gave this slt a 1. 
 

OR DID I PRESS MISTAKENLY TWICE ON 1  

[Funnyfatty]

Wtf fatty!!! 
 

I just rechecked my points. I gave that pink ugly bich a 1 (ONE) not 11 (ELEVEN)  

 

That snotty pink blubbly bich is even lower in the rate I-

[Suilen]

We might not have the ratings of Beyoncé but at least there's an elevator fight

 

[Heldenzeit]

6 minutes ago, Funnyfatty said:

Wtf fatty!!! 
 

I just rechecked my points. I gave that pink ugly bich a 1 (ONE) not 11 (ELEVEN)  

 

That snotty pink blubbly bich is even lower in the rate I-

You're right, lemme fix that! I remember your Mien-whoo with the 15 mess, must have confused me. 

 

123

4,37

[Heldenzeit]

Also, call me fatty once again and Mien-whoo will be disqualified from the rate and you'll never know where it landed! 

[Funnyfatty]

1 minute ago, Heldenzeit said:

You're right, lemme fix that! I remember your Mien-whoo with the 15 mess, must have confused me. 

 

123

4,37

Yes i gave him 15 because wtf is 11 

 

anyway he got my 11 then 

 

The way i came in here SWINGING 

 

 

[artc0cx]

1 hour ago, Heldenzeit said:

123

4,42

 

11: @artc0cx

10: Magickarp, Norte, gardendreams, AMIT, Subomie, Gourgeist

----

1: Heldenzeit, Curaga, Rabbit, Dalmau, UnusualBoy, AbeHicks, Suilen, sunbathinganimal, Red Light,

Touch Pass, Ponzi, PillowCase, Chiidish, Funnyfatty

0: Rigalo

 

Chiidish: I was this close to handing you a zero. The way you terrorized me with your hideous design and over population I'm about to puke. 

AMIT: meme icon, also love the typing

Rigalo: girl....

Meloetta Carey: I loved using this as my surfer

Conker: Seemed interesting but, maybe since I never used a Stunkfisk, I shouldn't be giddy with my score. A 5 will do.

Sunbathinganimal: who sat on this poor Pokemon

Artc0x: I wasn't sure which pokemon to give my 11,  I decided to go with STUNKING, i know yall gonna pay him dust, so at least I can help him a lil

Konril: High rating because of this shady gif 

I had a suspicion Stungod was gonna be the 11 leaving

 

 

Also I thought Amoongus would last more since she has become a popular tank in battles

[Heldenzeit]

I see false scores get yall to finally post, maybe I should do that more often! 

[artc0cx]

1 hour ago, Magickarp said:

Shelmet & Stunfisk deserved better

 

Poor @artc0cx getting 0 views for her 11

Stunfisk flopping this hard, im here still to support ha

 

[IlianVargas]

Stunfisk and Alomola are so ugly 

[artc0cx]

This is how most of ATRL treats Stungod

 

[Heldenzeit]

6 minutes ago, artc0cx said:

This is how most of ATRL treats Stungod

 

Not the Rotom run-over omg

[Funnyfatty]

20 minutes ago, artc0cx said:

This is how most of ATRL treats Stungod

 

This looks sexy if you think about it 

 

Spoiler

 

[Touch Pass]

19 minutes ago, artc0cx said:

This is how most of ATRL treats Stungod

 

Why do I feel bad for it after seeing it cry? 

Maybe I was too harsh with it 

Promise if there's a next time to give it a ten

[Curaga]

2 hours ago, Konril said:

They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Heldenzeit sustained no injuries.

[Heldenzeit]

30 minutes ago, Curaga said:

[Ponzi]

1 hour ago, artc0cx said:

This is how most of ATRL treats Stungod

 

It's what she deserves 

[Graves]

wtf a midday update