video game PokéRate: Unova [Gen 5] | The crowned winner is... | P. 114

[Heldenzeit]

120

4,57

 

 

11: /

10: Gourgeist

----

1: Conker, coolcristobal, PillowCase

0: /

 

Conker: Get that stupid tongue out of my face.

Suilen: not blowjob lips

Sunbathinganimal: mmm fry it in some garlic butter

[Konril]

Ma'am... The views are not viewing.

 

With that said. Stunfisk robbed.

[Nico Robin]

Just now, Heldenzeit said:

120

4,57

 

 

11: /

10: Gourgeist

----

1: Conker, coolcristobal, PillowCase

0: /

 

Conker: Get that stupid tongue out of my face.

Suilen: not blowjob lips

Sunbathinganimal: mmm fry it in some garlic butter

forgot about that thing but now Im glad its gone

 

[Heldenzeit]

Next one is a big one comment-count wise and another 11 

[Magickarp]

Shelmet & Stunfisk deserved better

 

Poor @artc0cx getting 0 views for her 11

[Suilen]

I remember one of the rate's early subtitles being Let's Go Lillipup and yet it isn't out yet. Inchresting

 

[Konril]

Alomomola out next

[Heldenzeit]

Just now, Suilen said:

I remember one of the rate's early subtitles being Let's Go Lillipup and yet it isn't out yet. Inchresting

 

Very intriguing indeed 

[Heldenzeit]

3 minutes ago, Konril said:

Alomomola out next

119

4,59

 

11: @Funnyfatty

10: Magickarp, Bartender, Gourgeist

----

1: Save The Day, artc0cx, Norte, Conker, Touch Pass, gardendreams, Ponzi, coolcristobal

0: /

 

AMIT: should have been a luvdisc evo and I will keep saying it

Rigalo: ANNOYING 

Meloetta Carey: always reminded me of a reality tv star idk why

Gardendreams: id eat

Bartender: C U N T

Conker: Alomomola's WWE theme song is the Potential Break Up Song by Aly & AJ. 

Suilen: the palindrome in its name is the only interesting thing about it

Sunbathinganimal: why wasn't this a luvdisc evo?

TSwiftie: Shouldve been a Luvdisc evolution instead

Red Light: When everyone thought this was gonna be a Luvdisc evolution and it turned out: nope! Just a ripoff!

Ewan Chaos: Why did they even make this thing sidhsiohdois Luvdisc I don't even care for you but Luvdisc SWEETIE

Artcocx: a bigger luvdisk and an ugly one

Memeboy: gorgeous

Edited May 28 by Heldenzeit

[Nico Robin]

Glad we all agreed this mon has no use other than being a non existing Luvdisc evolution

 

[Heldenzeit]

118

4,611

 

 

11: /

10: Touch Pass, BambiStar, Gourgeist

----

1: Magickarp, UnusualBoy, AbeHicks, Norte, PillowCase, Chiidish, Funnyfatty, Sawk

0: /

 

 

Meloetta Carey: she looks evil… I like that

Bartender: Pampers ass ***** but the design is cool 

Conker: Chicken Little. 

Konril: Region based from USA, Dark type and wearing a diaper?

[Suilen]

Poor Aly & AJ being associated with that

 

[Magickarp]

Just now, Suilen said:

I remember one of the rate's early subtitles being Let's Go Lillipup and yet it isn't out yet. Inchresting

 

Undoubtedly the best Dog line, especially after Paldea's Disney'd monstrosities

 

[Konril]

My Alomomola copypasta comment getting yeeted.

[Magickarp]

Reminder that Alomomola is OU in the most powerful gen ever. Slow Regenerator Flip Turn did THAT.

 

Also the poor Man Bird's child out already? SAD!

[Konril]

 

Spoiler

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the Alomomola so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I'm posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about Water types more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it's not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously ******* hate them. THE ALOMOMOLA They are the world's largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant ******* dinner plates that Arceus must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that Pokemon Professors even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT ******* GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn't put them where they need to ******* go. So they don't have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn't just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it'll ******* sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, **** outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some Pokemon Professors have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one ******* knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it's basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. "If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators." No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Heldenzeit sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat Frillish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it's so stupidly ******* big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) "Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!" Do not let that expression fool you, they just don't have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all ****. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the **** out of them for kicks. Sealeos have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. "Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that Arceus has abandoned us." Yes, thank you. "But if they're so bad at literally everything, why haven't they gone extinct." Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY ******* EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT'S DOING MAYBE THE WORST ******* JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that'll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the **** out of this complete failure of evolution, the Alomomola. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.

[Heldenzeit]

117

4,62

 

 

11: /

10: Shendelzare, Norte, Touch Pass, gardendreams, Gourgeist

----

1: Conker, Seffers, Bartender, Meloetta Carey, AMIT, Pillow Case, Funnyfatty

0: /

 

Meloetta Carey: i hate the bait-and-switch thing they did with items, this fucker

Conker: Let's put a Poke Ball on top of this thing, instead of an some kind of

cool insignia instead because, we're lazy. 

Sunbathinganimal: voltorb from shein

Ewan Chaos: I'm ranking most of these gen 1 copies on the lower end, unless they're

EXCELLENCE (this one is not)

[Heldenzeit]

1 minute ago, Konril said:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the Alomomola so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I'm posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about Water types more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it's not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously ******* hate them. THE ALOMOMOLA They are the world's largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant ******* dinner plates that Arceus must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that Pokemon Professors even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT ******* GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn't put them where they need to ******* go. So they don't have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn't just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it'll ******* sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, **** outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some Pokemon Professors have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one ******* knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it's basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. "If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators." No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Heldenzeit sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat Frillish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it's so stupidly ******* big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) "Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!" Do not let that expression fool you, they just don't have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all ****. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the **** out of them for kicks. Sealeos have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. "Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that Arceus has abandoned us." Yes, thank you. "But if they're so bad at literally everything, why haven't they gone extinct." Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY ******* EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT'S DOING MAYBE THE WORST ******* JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that'll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the **** out of this complete failure of evolution, the Alomomola. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.

Ngl, I was worried for you for a second

[Konril]

1 minute ago, Heldenzeit said:

118

4,611

 

 

Konril: Region based from USA, Dark type and wearing a diaper?

 

[Heldenzeit]

Last one for now

 

[Nico Robin]

3 minutes ago, Heldenzeit said:

117

4,62

 

 

11: /

10: Shendelzare, Norte, Touch Pass, gardendreams, Gourgeist

----

1: Conker, Seffers, Bartender, Meloetta Carey, AMIT, Pillow Case, Funnyfatty

0: /

 

Meloetta Carey: i hate the bait-and-switch thing they did with items, this fucker

Conker: Let's put a Poke Ball on top of this thing, instead of an some kind of

cool insignia instead because, we're lazy. 

Sunbathinganimal: voltorb from shein

Ewan Chaos: I'm ranking most of these gen 1 copies on the lower end, unless they're

EXCELLENCE (this one is not)

deserved better.

 

[Konril]

I love dogs but the basic Lillipup line needs to go out.

[Heldenzeit]

116

4,69

 

 

11: /

10: Heldenzeit, Touch Pass

----

1: AMIT, Chiidish, Gourgeist

0: /

 

Subomie: He's a little cutie tbh, I love pigeons. Kinda wish they stuck with the chubby pigeon angle for

his evos too - they bore me.

AMIT: doves are trash

Gardendreams: id eat

Bartender: That Pokédex entry calling it dumb nnnnnn

Conker: A good old, classic stand-by. Nothing else could really fly anyway. So she'll do. 

Memeboy: love pigeons but this is uncreative

Red Light: Idc what they are, the fleshy lobes around its nose are foul and obscene. This *****'s mother was regurgitating straight

cholesterol deposits in its mouth when it was a baby

 

[Nico Robin]

IM NOT FORGIVING YALL THIS ONE 

 

It's adorable 

Edited May 28 by TSwiftie

[Konril]

Just now, Heldenzeit said:

116

4,69

 

 

11: /

10: Heldenzeit, Touch Pass

----

1: AMIT, Chiidish, Gourgeist

0: /

 

Subomie: He's a little cutie tbh, I love pigeons. Kinda wish they stuck with the chubby pigeon angle for

his evos too - they bore me.

AMIT: doves are trash

Gardendreams: id eat

Bartender: That Pokédex entry calling it dumb nnnnnn

Conker: A good old, classic stand-by. Nothing else could really fly anyway. So she'll do. 

Memeboy: love pigeons but this is uncreative

Red Light: Idc what they are, the fleshy lobes around its nose are foul and obscene. This *****'s mother was regurgitating straight

cholesterol deposits in its mouth when it was a baby