BletaRexher Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 I'm 23 I just graduated college and I'm having trouble making friends or dating. I have never actually dated anyone, I've only done hookups. In college I used to have drinking buddies but we were never as close as the friends I grew up with. It's been about 3 years since I've had friends. How did you guys find your friends or your dating partners? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Days Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 in my experience it's usually through coworkers, like going out together and if they invite some friends of theirs I get to befriend them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glitch Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 Dating, use the straight people apps like Tinder or Bumble. A lot more relationship orientated gays on there. And just make it clear that's what you're looking for from the outset (fully clothed wholesome pics, put a bit of effort into your bio etc). Friends, I've mainly met through work honestly. Some people say don't make friends with your colleagues, but I think that's pretty miserable advice. You spend so much time with these people, you're bound to meet someone you click with. When you leave a job give your email/number to some of your colleagues you got on well with (even if you weren't super close) and try and stay in touch. Take up some hobbies too. I've not made any friends directly through them but having more interests increases your chances of meeting people who you have things in common with. For example I started dancing recently and it turned out someone at work also did, and we started going to classes together. The biggest thing about making friends though is if you meet someone you think you'd get on well with, just be really direct and say you'd like to grab a coffee/drink sometime. Don't try and act cool and aloof and expect it to happen naturally. If you're not seeing them regularly at work/some activity, it most likely will not happen naturally. Most adults are in the same situation where they struggle to make new friends. You'd be surprised how happy lots of people are when you make the first move. And then make an effort to keep in touch. Message every month or two to try and arrange something. I guess that last point applies to dating too tbh 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess Aurora Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 The only thing I can tell you is: Make your social media profiles interesting based on your actual interests Use apps like Tinder or Bumble Make friends through work Be yourself, there's no point in pretending to be somebody else especially when you're an adult Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedeathbymusic Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 I just recently moved back to Ohio and for me what worked is going on a date with someone who was very well connected (gay wise), we vibed but ultimately didn't go on a second date but remained friendly. I would see him out at our local gay bar and kept saying hi to him and to all his other friends (who all eventually followed me on IG) and now I have a pretty solid gay friend group through that (consistency)! using Tinder & Grindr works if you are very clear you are looking for friends. but it does require effort and being very direct! just don't be scared and try things like that out, more people are in your same situation than you think, especially gays looking for other gay friends! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
єѕℓαм Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 If you're looking for friends and serious dates then Tinder, Bumble are perfect for that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoldierofLove Posted March 27 Share Posted March 27 Lots of good suggestions from others. I would add volunteering as an option. Find something you feel passionate to help out with and connect with other volunteers. Museums, tutoring, food banks… There are lots of organizations that could use your help. And you'll meet good and caring people. If money isn't an issue, another option is to pay for memberships at organizations like a museum. They always have member events where you can meet people. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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