discussion UPDATE: Do women deserve to know their bf did gay porn before they met?

[makeme]

Title says it all. Former high school classmate ended up a Sean Cody star in 2015. It never really got out in our high school crowd bc he left our school freshmen year and all of this happened after he was 18. 

 

But now like 7 years after this he is talking to one of my friends and I kind of want to expose him for being homophonic to me but also like get money? Who cares it's just gay porn. 

 

What would ATRL do? 

 

EDIT: I messaged her and she seems really happy and this ain't none of my business so maybe we can all just kii about this in private and let them live their life's but wthhhh 

 

UPDATE: I never told her like I said I wasn't going to (ain't nun of my business) but he got her pregnant after only 2 months. He is her third baby daddy. I hungout with her best friend today who is also a really good friend of mine and we talked about it a little and had a kii but all agreed never to tell her. 

Edited June 12 by makeme

[James_Dean]

*Googles 2015 Sean Cody roster*

[White Rabbit]

Tbh I mean he took the chance of knowing something like that was always a possibility the moment he filmed the video. If they were nice to me, I probably wouldn't "expose" them just to save them the social repercussions but if they did you like that I mean.. Though I still personally wouldn't get involved like the past is the past. No need to reopen that book for your sake.

Regarding the girlfriend thing, I don't think doing porn is a deal breaker but not being able to tell your partner at some point seems like there's a lack of trust and I think that's an issue more than doing porn itself.

[CottageHore]

Yes. 1. If you did porn, it'll be out there forever and anyone can find it. It's better she finds out from him and not you or one of her friends or family members… or herself 

2. It being *gay porn, specifically eludes to something deeper going on and while that may not be her business, it's definitely something I'd wanna know if I was dating someone. 
 

But it's not your job to say anything, babe. That's very high school. At the most, maybe just find a round about way for her to find out herself. Idk how that would happen though 

[Twilish]

What are you worried he's going to come back to bully you again? Spill his name sis 

[alp]

no wtf 

[makeme]

11 minutes ago, James_Dean said:

*Googles 2015 Sean Cody roster*

It was Oliver LOL 

His real name i'm not disclosing for obvious reasons but yeah the porn name was Oliver 

Edited March 21 by makeme

[KingWitch]

I think stay out it, its their business if they want to be together, im sure the girl herself has something in the past that she wouldn't want revealed. If they're happy then i see no harm. 

[James_Dean]

13 minutes ago, makeme said:

It was Oliver LOL 

His real name i'm not disclosing for obvious reasons but yeah the porn name was Oliver 

First of all, thank you 

Second of all, what he did to you was wrong. But I'm a firm believer of what goes around comes around. Let karma do it's thing bb 

[airplane]

After watching The Glory on Netflix, you better get the revenge you deserve (even if it has been decades) 

Edited March 21 by airplane

[Saintlor]

It's none of your business. 

[tost1]

You clearly don't care for the girl, but want revenge. It's been a decade I assume since he bullied you so just get over it and live your life

[TROPICUM]

i personally wouldn't care if my bf did porn before but if he wouldn't tell me and some random ex classmate who he bullied for being gay did then... i guess we would have a problem

 

[ToMmY]

No.

 

But I would tell him I recognized him at some point.

[torturedpoet]

I'd send him the screenshot and tell him to "say hi to Rebbeca (or whatever her name is)”

 

but wouldn't tell her myself. Let him **** his own life up. 

[dumbsparce]

I wouldn't blame you if you did it out of spite. Revenge is one hell of a drug.

 

This raises the question why do you think someone being a not-so-closeted "gay 4 pay" is worth exposing which is an entirely different topic. Sth about "internalized homophobia" which I don't think is the case but perhaps sth adjacent? Idk.

[Anomaly]

I think absent any knowledge of crimes, which isn't occurring here, you should just stay out of other people's relationships.

[reymiu]

36 minutes ago, TROPICUM said:

i personally wouldn't care if my bf did porn before but if he wouldn't tell me and some random ex classmate who he bullied for being gay did then... i guess we would have a problem

 

Exactly

 

While OP was bullied, if they expose the truth now ppl will turn their back on him. The SC star, the girlfriend and their group of friends will say OP ruin their happiness & future 

 

I strongly advise OP against exposing anything

 

[Johnny Jacobs]

Of course  a partner should definitely know... 

[Johnny Jacobs]

2 hours ago, makeme said:

But now like 7 years after this he is talking to one of my friends and I kind of want to expose him for being homophonic to me but also like get money? Who cares it's just gay porn. 

I would've. No homophobe bully should get away without paying for it. "changed" or not. I believe in revenge and this is pure justice ngl

[Sergi91]

1 hour ago, makeme said:

It was Oliver LOL 

His real name i'm not disclosing for obvious reasons but yeah the porn name was Oliver 

I just googled him and is ugleee 

[imabadkid]

YES, IMO.

 

Porn in general is such an interesting topic because... there's so many layers to it. These days I find myself cringing hard af when I see a guy on OF with a mask on and a wedding ring... like across the board you should just always be 100% transparent and honest with your partner whether it's about your past or present. But... you know, men...

[SapphireSky]

2 hours ago, makeme said:

It was Oliver LOL 

His real name i'm not disclosing for obvious reasons but yeah the porn name was Oliver 

Oh... I wasn't expecting his face to look like that

[McNulty]

No, wtf

[Prodigal Self]

So like an atrl thread decides on this? Don't meddle in someones relationship unless you've done none of the growing in these past 7 years and can't forgive a high school kid that bullied you, a high school kid. A man in need did some content all of us and y'all enjoy. I say let it go