discussion I do not understand America’s tipping culture. Someone convince me.

[swissman]

On 2/2/2024 at 10:03 PM, brooklyndaddy said:

Why is it me, the patron’s problem that the restaurant has deemed the waiter must rely partially on tips? This is not my problem. The restaurant should be fairly compensating workers. I see no reason to add additional money onto a bill for someone… doing their job. Even if this is considered rude, it is optional. Why should I make up for the what the restaurant doesn’t pay? The server should take it up with their boss. 
 

if the service is exceptional, I understand giving a few extra bucks as a treat. But this is rare. 
 

I also do not understand giving more tip because more money was spent… the same one plate and one drink was brought out. It’s not like more work was out in by the waiter.

 

Am I an a**hole? It just makes zero sense to me. 
 

 

It's simple really.

 

Yes, it SHOULD be the employer's job to fairly pay their employees. However, because of many (bad) reasons, that is not the case.

 

So you have two options:

1. Be bitter about it and refuse to tip as some sort of protest which ONLY affects the person who ACTUALLY is being taken advantage of
2. Tip

 

As for why you'd need to tip more for one plate vs. another, that's actually a good point, and I don't know the answer, but generally the tipping based on a percentage of your bill is because the larger your bill the more service the person likely gave you, like if it was a table of 10 not 2.

[VerdantHue]

For all of you who are upset at tipping, you are not obligated to tip if you don't want to. Just keep it to yourself if you feel shame but again you have 2 choices - tip or don't tip. The reality is that such jobs do not pay well but there are people who will leave a tip for excellent customer service.

 

More so you can also go grocery shopping, make food/coffee at home and only go out to eat at fancy/high end restaurants once in a while, where tipping might make more sense to you.

Edited February 8 by VerdantHue

[KFC]

2 hours ago, swissman said:

However, because of many (bad) reasons, that is not the case

There's only ONE reason and that's that everyone in the US has accepted it and let it get to the point where it won't ever change

[Vermouth]

On 2/8/2024 at 1:55 AM, AndresVanDeKamp said:

Not going to try to convince anyone but what I WILL say is I just started serving in June and the ONLY times I haven't been tipped have been when I was serving the most disrespectful, needy, disgusting tables. Not once has someone who hasn't tipped me been hassle free. If you were to come in, sit down, be polite and leave in a reasonable time without asking me to literally cater to your every whim I'll forget about the fact you didn't tip in about 3 seconds. It is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS the piss poor customers who act like animals who don't tip. My job is to guide you through the menu, make recommendations, and answer questions as well as provide you an enjoyable experience however I can. If you just want me to take your order, drop your food, and not check on you or give you any additional conversation or assistance then I could understand not tipping - but most people are not expecting that type of service. So, if you expect high quality service then expect to tip accordingly. Serving is definitely a SKILL and takes a lot of practice and experience to really hone. Anyone who says otherwise hasn't served or wasn't a good server.

Interesting you say about serving style ( I paraphrase- take your order, drop you food, not check on you, or any additional conversation), as it plays into a lot of this debate which seems largely cultural, both within the US and from outside it.

 

What you have described above is largely what a I expect typical Brit in the U.K. for instance, would expect. Walk in, sit down have order taken, (maybe a couple of questions about the food), serve food and then - please - clear off and leave us all alone till it’s check time or another drink is wanted. No smiley smiley chit chat, no how are we today etc etc, it’s off putting.

 

But (huge but) customs and norms in the US are different ( when in Rome do as the Romans do and all that), so outsiders should try to adapt and conform to the US norm, tip 20% ( unless something has really really gone very wrong) and don’t grumble about it. If you don’t like it there’s lots of other places to go to in the world. It seems a case of stuff being done differently in the US like driving at 16, but no alcohol till 21, which often strikes foreigners as plain odd. It is what it is.

 

There does seem an internal US debate on here as to whether a different norm should be legislated for making the whole set up more “European” ie much higher wage for much lower tips. That’s something for the US to work out internally ( though some of the money some folk are making up thread from tips is amazing tbh!).

 

Personally, I find the whole thing unusual and wouldn’t like it as a norm myself, but that’s why you travel, precisely to experience a difference and jolt your brain a bit from its rut.

Edited February 9 by Vermouth

[Booyah]

Well it's a tradition and most of traditions are stupid. 

 

But hey people are trying to earn their life so...

[WhateverYouWant]

Also if you visit anywhere regularly and your waiters know your not going to tip than good luck with that service you think you deserve to get. You will likely be last priority. 

Edited February 9 by WhateverYouWant

[loveisdead9582]

As someone who was in the service industry, it’s a shitty situation. Tippable minimum wage is far lower than minimum wage so we wind up having to pay a lot in taxes. Yeah, if you’re good at your job you do make decent money. I generally don’t tip less than 20% unless it’s the worst service I’ve had. I tip more if they really went out of their way to go above and beyond. 
 

Does the system need to change? Absolutely. Is it fair for people to punish the workers who are simply trying to earn a living by not tipping them? Absolutely not. Also, think about it this way - if they paid them higher wages so that tips weren’t as necessary, restaurants and bars would have to up all of their prices.

[spree]

4 hours ago, loveisdead9582 said:

As someone who was in the service industry, it’s a shitty situation. Tippable minimum wage is far lower than minimum wage so we wind up having to pay a lot in taxes. Yeah, if you’re good at your job you do make decent money. I generally don’t tip less than 20% unless it’s the worst service I’ve had. I tip more if they really went out of their way to go above and beyond. 
 

Does the system need to change? Absolutely. Is it fair for people to punish the workers who are simply trying to earn a living by not tipping them? Absolutely not. Also, think about it this way - if they paid them higher wages so that tips weren’t as necessary, restaurants and bars would have to up all of their prices.

there is no way an employer is going to go from paying a server/bartender $9/hour + tips, to $40/hour to compensate for no tipping.  It's just never going to happen.  Either prices would skyrocket, or the entire staff walks out the door on Day 1.  Restaurants would implode nationwide.