Specter Posted February 1 Posted February 1 Sorry kind of an all-over the place thread but I just wanted to vent, will probably delete: tl;dr is I moved wayyy across the world for grad school, but I haven't known financial peace since. I just feel like packing up everything, saying **** it to this degree (however "prestigious" it may be) and just crawl back into my room I don't have much that I am going back to AT ALL but I am always so tired and depressed — while I am trying to fix my really bad mental health (which was bad before I moved, sure) I fear it is unchangeable. Plus, my friends (or former friends) sucked and so I had to cut them off, I work out in-between classes but that's going nowhere, and my love life is I'm working almost 24/7 and I get like what? 4 hours of sleep between two-ish jobs, all my coursework, extra-classes, and dumb uni things. I don't know what any of this will amount to And in year 2 I may have to go into even more debt
OreGuy Posted February 1 Posted February 1 you are this gif for the past years, but i'm afraid the guy finally managed to hit you. Pack up, hun. it's for the better. 4
Specter Posted February 1 Author Posted February 1 33 minutes ago, OreGuy said: you are this gif for the past years, but i'm afraid the guy finally managed to hit you. Pack up, hun. it's for the better. dsflkgnkjfdkj This made me YELP 1
Into The Void Posted February 1 Posted February 1 Ur wearing urself thin. U need to take care of you.
CristianGarcia Posted February 1 Posted February 1 You doing too much. Make sure you get some sleep. Start taking melatonin it’ll change your life
ATRL Moderator wehavetostan Posted February 1 ATRL Moderator Posted February 1 I want to encourage you to keep going but it depends on what you wanna do in the future. If a good degree will help you get into the industry you’re interested in, I’d say keep going but make sure to take care of yourself and your health too.
Miss Show Business Posted February 1 Posted February 1 Not to pry, but how prestigious is this degree? If you stop now, can you decide to go back in the future when your health is doing better? That is if you still enjoy the subject of your degree. I know for myself and a lot of people, sometimes we get into things thinking we'll like them and end up disliking them in the long run. 1
Gorjesspazze9 Posted February 1 Posted February 1 (edited) Honestly I was in a similar situation when I was in college. I dropped out my 2nd to last semester due to sever depression. And now that I’m a few years older I would have just stuck it out cuz it’s better to be depressed with money then without. I say get that degree and just finish it if it will give you a more financial secure lifestyle. But that’s just my opinion, if it’s really draining you that bad then do what you got to do, but try to have multiple back up plans. Trust me, once you hit 30 you start to regret things Edited February 1 by Gorjesspazze9
suburbannature Posted February 1 Posted February 1 (edited) 3 minutes ago, CristianGarcia said: You doing too much. Make sure you get some sleep. Start taking melatonin it’ll change your life Unless you want the worst nightmares you’ve ever had and to need 12 hours sleep each night to not feel groggy the next day, pls don’t do this xx Edited February 1 by suburbannature 1
Specter Posted February 1 Author Posted February 1 4 minutes ago, CristianGarcia said: You doing too much. Make sure you get some sleep. Start taking melatonin it’ll change your life 2 minutes ago, wehavetostan said: I want to encourage you to keep going but it depends on what you wanna do in the future. If a good degree will help you get into the industry you’re interested in, I’d say keep going but make sure to take care of yourself and your health too. Thank you guys...but I feel like if I stop to take care of myself, I will let my academics suffer. I am NOT one of those people that values hUsTlE cUlTurE and working forever, but it's what I have rn. 3 minutes ago, Miss Show Business said: Not to pry, but how prestigious is this degree? If you stop now, can you decide to go back in the future when your health is doing better? That is if you still enjoy the subject of your degree. I know for myself and a lot of people, sometimes we get into things thinking we'll like them and end up disliking them in the long run. Well, the uni I am in is #2 or #1 (depending on the year, and if one is to put stocks into rankings — which I don't much, tbh) and has a pretty high ranking WW, too. I love what I study, sure, but...
Specter Posted February 1 Author Posted February 1 4 minutes ago, suburbannature said: Unless you want the worst nightmares you’ve ever had and to need 12 hours sleep each night to not feel groggy the next day, pls don’t do this xx I actually live in fear of melatonin because I had wild dreams when I took it in the past. I also actually have sleeping pills — an unopened bottle — that I am also scared of because a) these are so efficient that sometimes I fear I will miss morning class; b) the side effects in the morning be nasty. Dry mouth, grogginess, feeling heavy etc.
ATRL Moderator wehavetostan Posted February 1 ATRL Moderator Posted February 1 4 minutes ago, Phantom said: Thank you guys...but I feel like if I stop to take care of myself, I will let my academics suffer. I am NOT one of those people that values hUsTlE cUlTurE and working forever, but it's what I have rn. Well, the uni I am in is #2 or #1 (depending on the year, and if one is to put stocks into rankings — which I don't much, tbh) and has a pretty high ranking WW, too. I love what I study, sure, but... I think you need to stick it out. You said it yourself that your mental health was bad before you got to grad school. Dropping out now will most likely have you regretting it later on. But please find a way to better manage your mental health
Miss Show Business Posted February 1 Posted February 1 1 minute ago, Phantom said: Well, the uni I am in is #2 or #1 (depending on the year, and if one is to put stocks into rankings — which I don't much, tbh) and has a pretty high ranking WW, too. I love what I study, sure, but... Hmmmm... As the user above me said, I think if this degree would bring significant financial stability for you, I would do my best to stick it out and try to push through. But also, I don't know the extent of your struggles, so it's hard to say. Do you have anything in place for help? Family members who could help you a little financially for the time being? Or any access to mental health services you can afford where you are living at the moment? I would maybe stay but see if you could get therapy or something to help take off some of the stress.
SinnerCity Posted February 1 Posted February 1 It brings back memories to when I was in university studying my masters degree. Listen, we all handle stress differently and by no means I’m saying that you should do what I did but for me, it was crucial to talk to my parents regularly and ask them for advice. For me the first two years were very difficult but it got better after that, I managed to pay my loans right before graduating and that was because I managed to find an internship that offered a full time position shortly after and my finances got much better. Bottom line is, talk to your close ones, ask for financial advise which is something that’s causing detriment to your mental health but remember that there’s always a way out for every problem or situation.
Maroonx Posted February 1 Posted February 1 Babes you have to put your mental and physical health first, if this is damaging to you, then walk away. Nothing is more important than your health. x
ATRL Moderator Bloo Posted February 1 ATRL Moderator Posted February 1 I finished my Ph.D. a few years back. Graduate school is tough and it's normal to feel like quitting day in and day out. That said, I'm glad I stuck with it. But, it's not the end of the world for you to decide to quit if it's not fitting your goals and the toll it's taking on you isn't worth it in your estimation. Speak with your peers. They probably relate more to what you're going through than you'd expect. It's easy to wall yourself out in grad school and struggle with imposter syndrome—thinking all your problems are unique to you. But, that only worsens how you feel. Talk to others. Reflect. And make a decision of what to do next. Best of luck, babe. 2
Raphy23 Posted February 1 Posted February 1 I can’t tell you what the best decision is for you. But you can’t be the best version of you on 4 hours of sleep. When I suffered from insomnia my mental health was in shambles. It crazy what a full nights sleep will do for you.
Julia Fox Posted February 1 Posted February 1 I'm no one to tell you what you should do but If I were you I would stay on the degree, even more if you like it and it’s from a prestigious university. I know you are in a hard time and you have too much going on but you should maybe focus on not be so perfectionist and exigent with yourself. Try to make a schedule of the times when you are not working and you are not on the university and try to make the hours of study/me time/going out/sleep are similar/equal. Start to enjoy yourself company and you’ll see that things will get better. I’m saying because I had the same experience some years ago and starting to take care of myself and realizing that I’m my biggest companion led me to enjoy my free time and make it longer but without failing on my exams, also I met so many people and knew so many places that without my walking routines by myself I wouldn’t and they are great people in my life.
Mordecai Posted February 1 Posted February 1 How long have you got left to go? Do you really need to work two jobs, or will one be enough for you to get by? You sound like you could be on the edge of burnout, in that case something has to give, whether that be your extracurriculars, a job etc. because it's not going to be sustainable in the long run. Idk about your living situation but having a flatmate or doing something to reduce your living expenses so you don't have to work as many hours might be best
bad guy Posted February 1 Posted February 1 2 hours ago, Phantom said: I'm working almost 24/7 and I get like what? 4 hours of sleep between two-ish jobs, all my coursework, extra-classes, and dumb uni things. I don't know what any of this will amount to It's normal to feel like that but the weight off your shoulders once it's done will be worth it. Unless you have no idea what plans or potential jobs after this degree then I would continue to power through and accomplish. You've come this far, you might as well stick it out.
Archetype Posted February 1 Posted February 1 I would highly recommend talking about this to a trusted professor or a school counselor. You need to ask for help, seriously. There might be something they can do in the form of additional aid, a better paying job, maybe a professor can help give you connections, etc. Just don’t keep this to yourself and feel like you only have yourself to rely on. Ask for help.
Specter Posted February 3 Author Posted February 3 On 2/1/2024 at 3:02 AM, Archetype said: I would highly recommend talking about this to a trusted professor or a school counselor. You need to ask for help, seriously. There might be something they can do in the form of additional aid, a better paying job, maybe a professor can help give you connections, etc. Just don’t keep this to yourself and feel like you only have yourself to rely on. Ask for help. I am trying to reach out, but I don't know if it will amount to anything...
Cyanide Posted February 3 Posted February 3 I think you should do what’s best for your future, because we have no idea which direction the world is heading in. If you’re sure that you’re doing what you want to do and that it will offer you some security in the future, I’d encourage you to stick it out. The schooling system is tough and our generation has to work 5x as hard for opportunities and financial security, but you’ve made it this far!
Archetype Posted February 3 Posted February 3 17 hours ago, Phantom said: I am trying to reach out, but I don't know if it will amount to anything... And that’s fine, but it’s better to at least seriously ask for help than protect your pride and give up an opportunity you worked really hard to get. You wouldn’t just be walking away from your present life, you’d be walking away from everything that got you here.
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