Sergi91 Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 This reminds me of the subplot of Why Women Kill …and I didn’t like the ending. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bad guy Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 (edited) Why even get married and make that commitment if you can't control your urges to **** other people? Also why marry someone who's "vanilla" when you knew you're the opposite and that would be a problem for you down the road? If you have feelings for someone else that isn't your husband this marriage is definitely over and the fact that you've clearly not been your true self with your husband shows the foundation of this relationship was cracked from the start and doom will soon follow. But good luck I guess Edited January 30 by bad guy 13 1 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Afterglow Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 I think it's awesome and would support you. I probably couldn't do it myself. My boyfriend and I have been together 10 years Jan 1st and just started being more sexually open about 3 years ago. We like being able to be wild and have a good time with others sexually, but we really enjoy being alone together as much as possible when it comes to anything else. Plus I am just way too needy of a bf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oktober Knight Posted January 30 Author Share Posted January 30 3 hours ago, Dear Reader said: If it feels right, keep going. It sounds like you three have a great relationship with each other and that’s amazing. My only advice is to never stop communicating your feelings and if anything bothers you. I really really hope everything goes well for you three That's what's great about this - we all communicate very openly with each other and are up front. As a Taurus, I require this in a relationship. 3 hours ago, Twilish said: Sounds like it could be potentially messy if even one of you starts feeling differently but that’s life. We are only on this earth once so if this is what feels right then just go for it. I think you and your hubby should also just keep your own part of the relationship to yourselves as I’m assuming if anything goes awry you want to have each other to fall back on and make sure any boundaries or feelings are discussed openly so nothing is misconstrued etc. We made it clear from the start that my hubby and I are unbreakable. Hence why he's not moving in or pushing his way in between us, so he understands our everlasting bond. 3 hours ago, TaggedGalaxy said: Do you let them DP you? I'm the top hunty. 3 hours ago, brooklyndaddy said: You do you but may I ask why you are spelling it “boi”? Is this some special term different than the correct spelling? It's a cute alternative way to spell it, especially in the gay community. If I say boi then people know it's not my REAL boy which is awkward. 3 hours ago, Bethenny Frankel said: this is not going to end well, but good for you Awww thanks for the encouragement, you're always so positive on this forum 3 hours ago, TheWalkOfShame said: I can get your anxiety and feeling it might be a weird situation but right now it feels good and right so enjoy that. and you seem to be very reflective person and open to talk about upcoming issues so I wouldn’t be too worried happy for you guys <3 I'm a thorough planner and over think everything so of course I was hesitant at first and wondered if this could truly work, especially since before this I had ZERO interest on this ever happening to me. But it feels right and we're happy. 3 hours ago, rta1913 said: if that makes all three of you happy then go for it! Monogamous relationships (at least between two people) are not for everybody and honestly a little unrealistic. You can have a partner you love more than anything in the world, find them super attractive and have great sex with them but sometimes your body/brain crave something else. Either connection with someone else or just some sex fantasy. And I think it's healthy to pursue those urges (of course while being honest and open about it) because it usually leads to strengthen your own relationship. Now the only thing I wanna make shady comments about your story is... You said your husband mainly like young twinks but you guys are dating a young bear? (I mean good for him and evolving his taste). Also you called your husband vanilla but then also called him dominant, which one is it!? DEFINITELY not for everybody, which is why I don't flaunt poly or even open relationships to everyone - just do you boo. Just to clarify: my hubby's go-to are smooth skinny 19 year old twinks (not me nor is it my thing) so when we became open, it was like a new playground for him. And he's dominant in the sense that he's very verbal but he legit just wants oral and be done within 5 mins, hates foreplay, and only wants to be railed like once a month. My kinks need more than that! Also, our boi is more of a cub - he's small but lots of body hair which my hubby likes too. 2 hours ago, Sheep said: OT: As long as youre all happy and as long as the young one converts you into a Gaga stan He keeps trying and it's not working. Ironically he's obsessed with Madonna's discography now so I think his plan backfired 2 hours ago, Twixters said: Is the third allowed to openly date? I feel like he will eventually find a partner of his own but as long as it works for now! We openly discussed that a 4th would get too complicated. He agreed as there would be too many hands in the cookie jar. 2 hours ago, Tudors said: Grindr is the worst place to meet a partner. This is for sure doomed from the start and someone will be phased out. That was my thought too but then I realized I need to give it a chance. I'm also taking his young age into consideration - apps are the only thing he knew to use to meet guys (in mine and my hubby's prime, it was old fashioned meet at the bar) 2 hours ago, Digitalism said: It seems like you came here looking for validation otherwhise you would just enjoy it. Which means that either you still haven't accepted your kinks or you think this may become problematic. I would do some self reflect I've accepted it but also keeping my guards up cause let's be honest, something like this could get VERY messy so I'm always gonna have those "what if" feelings. But this happens in every relationship, right? 1 hour ago, brenda-walsh said: what is it with gays and open relationships? More straight couples are into open/cuck relationships than you realize. Funnily enough, a lot of my friends and even my sister and bro in law revealed their secrets of them being open after I introduced our boyfriend. It's a matter of showing others it's ok and to be accepting. 49 minutes ago, LSD said: Some people will share almost anything with strangers on the Internet, but there are things you should keep to yourself. “My boi” Nobody forced you to read all that, boi. 45 minutes ago, DamianSolo said: Godspeed. I could never bring myself to be involved in such a situation. Good for YOU! Let others have their fun. 14 minutes ago, bad guy said: Why even get married and make that commitment if you can't control your urges to **** other people? Also why marry someone who's "vanilla" when you knew you're the opposite and that would be a problem for you down the road? If you have feelings for someone else that isn't your husband this marriage is definitely over and the fact that you've clearly not been your true self with your husband shows the foundation of this relationship was cracked from the start and doom will soon follow. But good luck I guess Are you gonna marry someone even though the sex isn't perfect? You have to look beyond all that and pay attention to the things you seek the most - love, comfort, support, etc. Imagine if everyone didn't settle down with someone they love just cause their sex interests aren't up to par with yours - then no one would get married. And about our love for each other - you have no idea what works for us and what doesn't. It's not over, we've been happy and loyal for many years. This is just an unexpected curveball that was thrown at us and we BOTH decided to go with it cause it felt right and we're all happy with the situation. Hopefully you find the perfect partner in the future. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pendulum Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 let me not say anything because I can't even book a double let alone throuple but you two better be austin wolf'ing that twink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zefierce Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 (edited) Interesting that summer 2022 was when you decided to go into an open relationship status with your husband, and 2023 was a dark year for you two. There was a lack of "light and comfort" (as you say) that was present, and instead of resolving it directly with your husband, it took adding an additional party from Grindr (of all places) into your marriage to seemingly make things better. That to me does not sound like a healthy relationship decision or situation at all to me. I find it interesting that you barely mention how your husband feels in all of this or who initially brought the open relationship idea into the marriage. It sounds like YOU were the one unsatisfied with the sex - you complain "he legit just wants oral and be done within 5 mins, hates foreplay, and only wants to be railed like once a month. My kinks need more than that!" "I'm overly kinky which I had to supress all my life and couldn't truly explore my wild side". Yet when introducing why you went into open relationship status in the first place, you primarily put the blame on him, saying its "mainly because he loves young twinks". Are you being honest with yourself? You claim you're satisfied in your life now that your "wild kinky pig boi" is in the picture, but the new grindr "bear" doesn't sound like the type that would fit into your husband's 'skinny young twink' desire. It honestly sounds like you're the pervert in the relationship and your husbands just a normal guy who can't satisfy your kinks, and puts up with all of this to try to make you happy and keep you in his life. But then again, I don't know you personally and I'm 100% ONLY going based on the things you wrote. Edited January 31 by Zefierce 2 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asscatchem Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 What's the worst that could happen? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oktober Knight Posted January 31 Author Share Posted January 31 4 hours ago, Zefierce said: Interesting that summer 2022 was when you decided to go into an open relationship status with your husband, and 2023 was a dark year for you two. There was a lack of "light and comfort" (as you say) that was present, and instead of resolving it directly with your husband, it took adding an additional party from Grindr (of all places) into your marriage to seemingly make things better. That to me does not sound like a healthy relationship decision or situation at all to me. I find it interesting that you barely mention how your husband feels in all of this or who initially brought the open relationship idea into the marriage. It sounds like YOU were the one unsatisfied with the sex - you complain "he legit just wants oral and be done within 5 mins, hates foreplay, and only wants to be railed like once a month. My kinks need more than that!" "I'm overly kinky which I had to supress all my life and couldn't truly explore my wild side". Yet when introducing why you went into open relationship status in the first place, you primarily put the blame on him, saying its "mainly because he loves young twinks". Are you being honest with yourself? You claim you're satisfied in your life now that your "wild kinky pig boi" is in the picture, but the new grindr "bear" doesn't sound like the type that would fit into your husband's 'skinny young twink' desire. It honestly sounds like you're the pervert in the relationship and your husbands just a normal guy who can't satisfy your kinks, and puts up with all of this to try to make you happy and keep you in his life. But then again, I don't know you personally and I'm 100% ONLY going based on the things you wrote. Dark place meaning my step mom died from a surgery that went wrong, my mom dying unexpectedly in her sleep 6 months later, my dog dying, my husband having a heart attack, me getting blood clots which almost became fatal, all of that combined making me struggle with my mental well being which ultimately put me in the hospital where nobody thought I would make it - yeah, I'd say that's a pretty dark time for both of us. Oh and FYI - it was my husband's idea to be open. I was against it for months until we finally explored. You seem to know exactly what's going on in my life on a daily basis. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oktober Knight Posted January 31 Author Share Posted January 31 3 hours ago, Asscatchem said: What's the worst that could happen? Worse that could happen if it doesn't work out, then he parts ways and my husband and I go back to the way we were before, which is just fine by us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spree Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 "wild kinky pig boi" caught my attention. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spree Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 question tho... does the 3rd feel like an equal, or is your husband's bond not able to be broken and the 3rd will always be 3rd? Does he know his place, or do you feel equal feelings for both? I'm very jealous, as I think a lot of people, both male/female would like scenarios like that, but are too afraid to make that move. I can't see my bf being ok with that for a long time, but maybe down the road, as we both allow each other to flirt with other guys at strip clubs/events, etc. It might take a few years, but I can see something happening. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spree Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 13 hours ago, Sheep said: OT: As long as youre all happy and as long as the young one converts you into a Gaga stan or a Swiftie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happylittlepunk Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 Good for you if it works otherwise I wouldn’t do it. I never seen any examples where this works in the long term especially for other gays. I know it’s more common than people think having open relationships but most I think are people hooking with other people and keep it outside the house or no dates. Every once and a while you have a couple who openly hooked up with another couple or share couples but it’s more rare. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeAg Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 hot. hope it’s been fun. if you’re ever looking for a fourth, I have a moustache and longish hair and a big d 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cain Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 Girl you sound like you’re in a good situation, why the hell would you bring that to this hellhole? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 (edited) I love couples so this sounds hot Spoiler daddy son too if you’re ever looking for a fourth, I have a twinky petite frame and a big d Edited January 31 by Janet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alldeezy Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 sounds like me in my sims 2 series mount heart where I'm dating 2 guys in once fact your living my dream having two nice lads by your side 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carla Rosón Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 13 hours ago, Illuminati said: Maybe it's your personal bubble Open relationships and partner sharing/cuckoldry are even more common among straights Percentage wise it's not even close. An overwhelming majority of gay couples are either open or poly whereas it's only a small perc for straight couples. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oktober Knight Posted January 31 Author Share Posted January 31 8 hours ago, spree said: question tho... does the 3rd feel like an equal, or is your husband's bond not able to be broken and the 3rd will always be 3rd? Does he know his place, or do you feel equal feelings for both? I'm very jealous, as I think a lot of people, both male/female would like scenarios like that, but are too afraid to make that move. I can't see my bf being ok with that for a long time, but maybe down the road, as we both allow each other to flirt with other guys at strip clubs/events, etc. It might take a few years, but I can see something happening. That's a good question that we've kinda touched base on. He understands the strong bond my husband and I have but he seems to be accepting of the fact that we cannot be broken apart. The reason I say this is because he still goes back home during the week and makes comments like if there's ever a family function or event that let's you bring your SO then of course I would expect you to take your husband. However, this is a good point you made because it's not fair to him if we're not 100% equal, so thank you for bringing this up cause this is a good conversation to have. And as far as you guys go, like I said this ain't for everyone so I would never recommend others to try a poly/throuple situation, it should just come naturally with concent from both partners. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Specter Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 You seem happy and fulfilled, have open and active lines of communication, and have family that accepts of all this. ...which warrants the question as to why you would seek out the opinion of random gays online? My personal distaste for throuples, valid as it is for me, has no general room to invade or speak upon your relationship. Yet you are inviting me to. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spree Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 8 hours ago, Oktober Knight said: That's a good question that we've kinda touched base on. He understands the strong bond my husband and I have but he seems to be accepting of the fact that we cannot be broken apart. The reason I say this is because he still goes back home during the week and makes comments like if there's ever a family function or event that let's you bring your SO then of course I would expect you to take your husband. However, this is a good point you made because it's not fair to him if we're not 100% equal, so thank you for bringing this up cause this is a good conversation to have. And as far as you guys go, like I said this ain't for everyone so I would never recommend others to try a poly/throuple situation, it should just come naturally with concent from both partners. yea I'm not sure he would ever go for a full-fledged relationship with a 3rd, but a 3-some once in a while I can definitely see happening. He can have his twink one time, and then I get another black guy the next time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Slayne Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 don't listen to the judgmental gays, they still live in their heteronormative chains. if it's all consensual and communicated well, there's no reason not to. that said, i would be mindful of the power dynamics in this situation. since you and your hubby are both older and already established, there could come a point when the new person might start feeling uncomfortable with the situation and even resent you for being married to each other and not to him. this could also pose challenges if he were to move into your (you and your partner's) house and feel like he doesn't really have a say in things because he's in another couple's space. the fact that he has a job and is independent is a good sign, but the challenge will be trying to find the balance between including him in the relationship as an equal (and not just an addition to your marriage) while at the same time not exploiting his feelings for the two you. just something to consider. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Slayne Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 On 1/30/2024 at 7:40 PM, bad guy said: Why even get married and make that commitment if you can't control your urges to **** other people? Also why marry someone who's "vanilla" when you knew you're the opposite and that would be a problem for you down the road? If you have feelings for someone else that isn't your husband this marriage is definitely over and the fact that you've clearly not been your true self with your husband shows the foundation of this relationship was cracked from the start and doom will soon follow. But good luck I guess they've been in a closed marriage for 9 years. things change, people are allowed to open their relationship. even they way you frame that as 'not being able to control urges' just shows how close-minded, reductive, and heteronormative your view of relationships really is. why shouldn't two consenting individuals be able to have sex outside of their relationship? because you parents/religion/media told you so? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reymiu Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 Enjoy your life sis ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bussea Posted February 1 Share Posted February 1 if it works for you, then you deserve all the happiness and love you’re getting out of this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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