Tower Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 (edited) It’s bothering me lately. What are some ways to cope with it? Edit with some details: I’m pretty much in the closet and don’t plan on coming out. It’s just not an option for me right now. I know it’s crucial but would also love to find ways to be okay with it as much as possible. Edited January 18 by Tower 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rotunda Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 How is it manifesting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revolution Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 We need more details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dula Peep Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 Stop listening to Sam Smith and Lil Nas X and start listening to Troye Sivan 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheep Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 Recognize what it is and then try to work through figuring out where it's coming from. "internalized homophobia" can be a lot of different things from a social defense mechanism, self-hating, etc, etc(it's also used in queer communities sometimes to pressure people into accepting/engaging in poor behaviors but that's a whole other topic). Realizing why you feel that way can help you start to untangle those feelings and let them go. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Child of the Moon Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 Recognize + focus on how beautiful and natural queerness is; in other people, in art, in nature, in history... and eventually you'll start to recognize and honor that in yourself as well. I'd say that personally having community around and surrounding myself with positive and like-minded people also really helped me. Sending much love to you 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tower Posted January 18 Author Share Posted January 18 17 minutes ago, Rotunda said: How is it manifesting? 11 minutes ago, Revolution said: We need more details. Mostly by being depressed. Maybe also the thought about not being able to live freely since I’m pretty closeted and don’t plan on coming put for various reasons. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
50thStateofMind Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 17 minutes ago, Rotunda said: How is it manifesting? this...depends how itʻs impacting your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
50thStateofMind Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 Just now, Tower said: Mostly by being depressed. Maybe also the thought about not being able to live freely since I’m pretty closeted and don’t plan on coming put for various reasons. well, a hard truth to hear is that the homophobia (both internal and external) will likely only go away if you accept yourself. If I was still closeted I do not think my internalized homophobia would have ever gone away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentleEarthquake Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 Listen to this song Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexrex Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 Focus your attention on what brings light to your life. Learn how to love yourself and radically accept it. Surround yourself with loving people. Even if you don't plan coming out to them, they can inspire you and make you feel better about yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATRL Moderator Johnny Posted January 18 ATRL Moderator Share Posted January 18 1 hour ago, Tower said: It’s bothering me lately. What are some ways to cope with it? Edit with some details: I’m pretty much in the closet and don’t plan on coming out. It’s just not an option for me right now. I know it’s crucial but would also love to find ways to be okay with it as much as possible. Years ago this Reddit post helped me and encouraged me to come out. I would encourage you to find every and any way to carve a path for yourself to live freely in self-love, self-compassion, and without fear of showing up to life as your full genuine self. You don't necessarily have to be "loud" about being gay, but it's important that at one point in your life, it becomes possible for you to feel that you are being seen and heard fully in every aspect of your authentic being and that means not having to make every effort to hide your sexuality. Coming out is scary and can be dangerous (which may be the case for you), but if you can plan a path for yourself to make it so that you are safe and affirmed to do so, the better. Best of luck to you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkgalord Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 (edited) 49 minutes ago, Sheep said: (it's also used in queer communities sometimes to pressure people into accepting/engaging in poor behaviors but that's a whole other topic). Realizing why you feel that way can help you start to untangle those feelings and let them go. This is so true. I'm gay and I would never agree with certain topics, narratives and behaviors within the LGBTQ+ community but that's not internalized homophobia. Edited January 18 by Darkgalord Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digitalism Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 It's never just about homophobia. Some people are going to tell you that the moment you come out of the closet things will get easier but eventhough that is a big step most people still have to work on their mental health. (and most people on the community actually don't) You're probably having problems related to self esteem so you should work on that first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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