discussion Are sexuality labels a net positive or negative?

[St. Charles]

I think labels can be good because they unite people with similar experiences who may otherwise find themselves isolated. For example, being gay is only applicable to ~3% of the population. So using the "gay" label is going to be essential to people who want to date and who don't want to feel alone in their struggles. Similar thing with asexual people who want a romantic relationship but not a physical one.

 

But the more I think about it, wouldn't it be better if society moved toward a lablel-less version of itself? I used to be obsessed with defining my exact sexuality and grouping. I got into some of the really niche ones, but then I had to take a step back. If we like each other and want to date or have sex, isn't that kind of the end? Why do I need to explain any further or why should we care?

 

 

TLDR, My opinion:

Labels are useful and have practical value. But NOT everyone needs one or should feel pressured into using one.

[Johnny Jacobs]

[GraceRandolph]

Microlabels aren’t needed, but labels as a whole are absolutely a necessity. I am suspect of anyone who doesn’t want to be labeled. 

[Johnny Jacobs]

Seriously tho it depends. 

 

I personally don't think we need to specify if we're straight gay bi or whatever. 

 

It doesn't have to be a big deal about who you fall in love with 

[GraceRandolph]

1 minute ago, Johnny Jacobs said:

Seriously tho it depends. 

 

I personally don't think we need to specify if we're straight gay bi or whatever. 

 

It doesn't have to be a big deal about who you fall in love with 

For the majority of people (men especially) sexuality can fit into a label of gay, bi, or straight, and this is usually a fixed pattern across their lives. I would be highly surprised if most men identifying as gay ended up with women. 

Edited November 19, 2023 by GraceRandolph

[Dialamba]

Straight, gay, bi, asexual are fine imo but there are too much labels and it’s confusing since no one actually cares irl. 

[St. Charles]

5 minutes ago, GraceRandolph said:

For the majority of people (men especially) sexuality can fit into a label of gay, bi, or straight, and this is usually a fixed pattern across their lives. I would be highly surprised if most men identifying as gay ended up with women. 

I agree but let’s say a “gay guy” is attracted to men 99% of the time but there is 1% of the time they could possibly date a woman. Yes they’re technically bisexual but they’re going to end up identifying as gay because 99% of the time that’s who they fit in with. And they’re probably not going to date a woman because they already see themselves as part of the gay crowd (and so does everyone else). So in some cases I feel like labels force people to view themselves and others in rigid boxes and categories.

[GraceRandolph]

Just now, St. Charles said:

I agree but let’s say a “gay guy” is attracted to men 99% of the time but there is 1% of the time they could possibly date a woman. Yes they’re technically bisexual but they’re going to end up identifying as gay because 99% of the time that’s who they fit in with. And they’re probably not going to date a woman because they already see themselves as part of the gay crowd (and so does everyone else). So in some cases I feel like labels force people to view themselves in rigid boxes and categories.

I feel like anything over 90% gay is just straight up gay. Having some degree of latent interest in women isn’t really impacting your life. A ton of straight women have experimented with women or dated a woman but don’t consider themselves lesbian or bi. 

[Take Me Apart]

 

[St. Charles]

1 minute ago, GraceRandolph said:

I feel like anything over 90% gay is just straight up gay. Having some degree of latent interest in women isn’t really impacting your life. A ton of straight women have experimented with women or dated a woman but don’t consider themselves lesbian or bi. 

That’s my point. Labels force people to “round up” to the nearest category. If there were no labels you’d just date whoever you found attractive and ask no more questions.

[GraceRandolph]

Just now, St. Charles said:

That’s my point. Labels force people to “round up” to the nearest category. If there were no labels you’d just date whoever you found attractive and ask no more questions.

Are gay men not dating women because of the gay label though? I think they just aren’t interested doing so.

[Cruel Summer]

I think it’s important to have simple, straightforward ways to describe ourselves, even if they’re imperfect. Some people might prefer to be highly specific when describing their orientation, others might just want to get the main point across and move onto other parts of a conversation, and others might not care to label themselves at all. From a social perspective I do think we sometimes rely too much on these labels and kind of give them too much weight, and we might sometimes allow them to dictate our lives and social circles rather than us and our experiences dictating the label, but from a linguistic perspective they’re incredibly useful. I get why some people are averse to them, but I also get why some people find them valuable. I think it’s just a person-to-person thing everyone has to decide for themselves.

[Odette Violet]

I only heard this mostly from murikans, in the real world no one cares about it. 

[Subzero]

A positive for me.

 

It sets very clear boundaries and also gives people a chance to easily find people like themselves. If someone doesn't want to label themselves, thats perfectly fine, you do you.

 

It's just a problem when others start shaming/wanting you to not label yourself (not op, I just say this a lot in lgbt circles) because they themselves find it "freeing" when in reality it's the opposite for others, especially for those who fought with the world (and themselves) to be who they are and not have to hide it.

 

My sexuality is not fluid and that should be respected just as much as someone who's is 

[Trent W]

I think we should get rid of them at some point

 

Who you fall in love with or your sexual desires shouldn’t be a topic of conversation 

 

Everybody should call it just love or sexual desire because it’s what it is

 

Too many labels create too much division 

 

That’s why the lgbtq community is too divided because everyone has a set of labels and see each other as separate entities 

[alexrex]

It's an indication for something, but no one should feel any pressure to use them.

[Kummercell]

even discussing sexuality as "labels" just feels so stupid to me. 

your sexuality is just a condition of who you are, it's an adjective to describe yourself.

if describing yourself as "tall" isn't a bad thing, why would saying you're "gay" be some sort of thing that we should get rid of?

[St. Charles]

1 minute ago, Kummercell said:

even discussing sexuality as "labels" just feels so stupid to me. 

your sexuality is just a condition of who you are, it's an adjective to describe yourself.

if describing yourself as "tall" isn't a bad thing, why would saying you're "gay" be some sort of thing that we should get rid of?

Idk if it’s a 1-1 comparison. Height is measurable and objective. Sexuality is arguably not because it’s a combination of preferences. That’s not to say it isn’t real, just that it’s harder to define and measure for some people.