discussion How To Deal With Gym Fears?

[Lana Banana]

I’ve been paying for a subscription for more than two years and I’ve gone maybe 30 times in total. 
 

I feel super insecure that I’m this kind of a person in front of ripped and good looking bodies. Like me lifting 20kg and a muscular person is waiting on me to use the machine for his/hers 150kg. That way I always resort to cardio machines cuz there’s plenty and I can hog it for as long as I want. 
 

I have been trying to tell myself that nobody cares but I still can’t lift myself to go and do. 
 

Suggestions or tips?

Edited November 16, 2023 by Lana Banana

[DeadInside]

Go when it's not busy. Also, realize that literally no one cares about you at the gym, everyone is focused on themselves. 

[punisher]

Go when it's early and nobody is there, gradually you'll get a hang of everything and you'll build confidence so you can go in regular times

[magazine]

I don't go

 

[Mr. Peanutbutter]

Yeah, what people are saying about going when it's empty is real. The fewer people to make you feel judged the better (Although people usually just mind their own business and don't judge when they're at the gym). Also, a packed gym means you will take longer to finish and go home which can turn you off from coming back.

[Tropez]

Just go. Most people don’t care. And the coolest people at the gym tend to be the muscular guys. In fact if you ask them for tips or to even spot you they’ll help. 

[Mornings]

Yeah once realized I’m only the center of my universe and no one else cares at all, my anxieties about a lot of stuff eased up. Now I can kind find the humor in my irrationality thinking people are inspecting what I’m doing at the gym.

 

but I do realize that me growing up gay and oppressed I really was scrutinized and watched as a kid when I was just doing my thing. So I get where it comes from. But generally speaking, no one cares 
 

 

[TakeYouToHell]

I went for the first time ever recently and honestly… I felt like no one even cared about me. People ignore each other and are only focused on their workout 

Edited November 16, 2023 by TakeYouToHell

[dumbsparce]

Just don't go. Instead of paying the monthly fee you can save up and get your own gear at the comfort of your home.

Edited November 16, 2023 by dumbsparce

[Goaty]

The only way to get over the fear of people caring about what you’re doing is to actually go enough to realize that, in fact, nobody cares what you’re doing. 

[Blanket]

Like Nike says Just Do It. Put on your headphones and focus on yourself. After a few weeks you’ll see results and feel more confident 

[Goaty]

If you have the spare income, would a personal trainer help? Some find the accountability nice - plus they’ll show you how to do everything correctly so you won’t be afraid of making a fool of yourself. 

[dumbsparce]

Have you guys even read the op? This has been going on for 2 years and miss Lana still has anxiety at the expense of her fitness. It's ok to avoid spaces that make you feel insecure so suggest something tangible to the good sis instead of going mantra on her ass.

[byzantium]

This is going to sound like bad advice, but just show up, put on some headphones, and don’t care about other people.  It’s easier said than done.  I get that.  But honestly, just a personal hurdle.  No one else really cares.  

[Breathe On Moi]

12 minutes ago, Tropez said:

Just go. Most people don’t care. And the coolest people at the gym tend to be the muscular guys. In fact if you ask them for tips or to even spot you they’ll help. 

honestly this, nothing more helpful than dumb straight muscly guys at gyms, they’ll talk your head off and offer unwarranted advice once you open the door tho, but they don’t really give a f*** about you unless you’re a girl basically wearing nothing working out. 

[Maxxie]

Most people are in the zone or on their phones and are not looking or paying attention to you. I used to be like this but I joined a small, quiet gym and feel really comfortable. Also there are lots of other people in the gym similar to me. Everyone has to start out somewhere.

 

Have you considered joining a gym class with 10-20 people for HIIT workouts? 

[kandicha]

I’ve felt that way at the gym too but I just remind myself that I don’t know any of these people and will never have to see them anywhere else but at the gym, so I have to just not care about them or ignore that they’re there.

[ExclamationMarks]

I have social anxiety but have been going to the gym for two years now, and was too scared/overwhelmed to workout before when I was 220 pounds. You do have to convince yourself the other people don't care (they don't), but what helped me was gradually getting more comfortable with mini goals.

Start using free weights and machines when it's slower for a few sets and then go back to cardio. Then set goals to do more sets even with other people around. Listen to music or a podcast and focus on the workout. I try to stay on my phone to keep me from getting distracted or worrying about what other people are doing between my sets. 

You could also find a gym with more a bigger variety of people. I go to community centre gyms, and it's less intimidating when there is a mix of people / experience levels / body types / goals working out at my gym then a gym filled with muscle bros. 

[bkglk]

I had the same fear before, but after actually go to the gym, i realized that nobody cares, they're all there to work on themselves and usually they're too exhausting to give a f about anyone else

[Jotham]

I've found that the more I go to the gym, the more comfortable I am there. I've been going to the gym regularly for five years now and I love it, but when I first started I felt exactly the same way.

 

I'm not sure how your gym works but does it offer group exercises/classes? Sometimes that's a good way to find like-minded people or others who are also at the start of their fitness journeys so you won't feel alone.

[Infatuation_Junkie]

Gyms are usually judgement free. And honestly, no one cares. Gym it up and feel good about doing it! 

[Lana Banana]

21 minutes ago, Jotham said:

I've found that the more I go to the gym, the more comfortable I am there. I've been going to the gym regularly for five years now and I love it, but when I first started I felt exactly the same way.

 

I'm not sure how your gym works but does it offer group exercises/classes? Sometimes that's a good way to find like-minded people or others who are also at the start of their fitness journeys so you won't feel alone.

I wish I would have done the same 5 years ago and wouldn’t have had to suffer now… Yes they do offer group classes but there is no way I am doing those. One thing is that I genuinely don’t want to and the second thing is that I live in Amsterdam and everything is always crowded at every moment (also replying to people suggesting early or late times). There is always someone there and for group lessons - I might get a spot tomorrow but then not get one until in 3 weeks because it’s hogged by people who sign up the moment it’s open (like Lana tickets a few months ago). 
 

Also, I would consider myself as an obvious homosexual therefore I don’t feel confident to go and even try in front of/next to people who obviously know what they’re doing, I feel like I would feel silly and stupid and only contribute to the clichés. 

[uusagii]

I'm in the same boat as you. I don't have a membership anymore as one of the amenities at my apartment is a decent gym, but I always found myself stuck to the cardio area because I hated feeling "out of place" among these Greek statues

[GentleEarthquake]

I don't even know how a gym works, or how the machines work. It scares me so much

[Gladiator]

I have always gone when it isn't busy. I almost always have the gym to myself and I like it that way for a number of reasons, which also involve getting anxiety sometimes around other people.