BrentB Posted October 21, 2023 Share Posted October 21, 2023 So I thought I'd just do a little survey on here & explore any correlations on what y'all's libido is vs the kind of relationship people strive for in life So I'll go first. I consider myself to have a high libido. I find a wide variety of guys to be attractive (spanning different age groups, races & body types). I'm usually in the mood after two, to three, weeks and any time after that I start to feel tense & thirsty. And, for now at least, I'm looking for a BF/hubby to be in an open relationship with (that shares the same values of protection & discernment that I do). I'm still open to the idea that I might change my mind and ONLY want exclusive monogamy in the future. I haven't felt the kind of jealousy & possessiveness that lots of people feel for their SO, but maybe I just haven't found the right one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gladiator Posted October 21, 2023 Share Posted October 21, 2023 I have a high libido and I want someone who also has a high libido. I was in relationships in the past where I had a much higher libido than my partner, and that incompatibility really impacted things in ways I didn't anticipate going into it since I went into it thinking it was not a big deal, and for a while it wasn't... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lustforyou Posted October 21, 2023 Share Posted October 21, 2023 (edited) Tbh, I can’t tell if I have a low libido or just intimacy issues/trauma that make me averse to sex I’m not really sure how I’d match my libido up in a relationship. I have gotten the “possessive” feeling over the 2 guys I started to really fall for, but after bad endings with them I now kinda feel like monogamy is unrealistic and I wouldn’t get that possessive feeling again. I live a really full life otherwise with a ton of friends so I’ve kinda just put the idea of a relationship on the back burner for now until something changes and naturally happens Edited October 21, 2023 by lustforyou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Illuminati Posted October 21, 2023 Share Posted October 21, 2023 I have low libido and I also have a wide variety of preferences, though I'm leaning more towards older men. Spoiler Ideally once or maybe twice a week sex would be enough for me. I get a lot of satisfaction just from like cuddling and being with someone. And douching every day seems crazy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bentley Posted October 21, 2023 Share Posted October 21, 2023 Omfg my boyfriend wants sex 3x a week and I just can’t. I already take antidepressants and have low libido Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamianSolo Posted October 21, 2023 Share Posted October 21, 2023 My libido is either on 100 or 20. There's virtually no in between. Naturally, I need someone on my same, or similar, wavelength to be in sync with—because it could get annoying really fast, especially when I'm just trying to have a chill night. Some days I don't even want to talk about sex, much less have it. I never understood the point of an open relationship, though, I've always looked at them as being a placeholder for an actual relationship. What's really the difference between that and just being friends with benefits? Eventually, someone in that open relationship is going to meet someone they couldn't see themselves stepping out on because they're fully and passionately in love with that person. An open relationship is a glass half empty type of circumstance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiidish Posted October 21, 2023 Share Posted October 21, 2023 5 hours ago, Bentley said: Omfg my boyfriend wants sex 3x a week and I just can’t. I already take antidepressants and have low libido Im on the opposite end of this. Really high libido, but been in a long term with someone who is on a lot of medications that dull down his sex drive. It’s not as terrible as it was a few years ago (things got driven to infidelity, then an open relationship, then back closed) but I guess I’m trying to just focus on things I can control in my life and be ok with matching with him when I can. Sex is much bigger deal than I thought but it really isn’t everything (in the context of a relationship). as to OP, I’m exactly like you in that I am indifferent to open or closed as long as everyone in agreement, but practicing monogamy for my partner. For anyone in a similar situation couples therapy helps a lot, bottling in sex conversations has only led to bad situations from my experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chiidish Posted October 21, 2023 Share Posted October 21, 2023 (edited) 2 hours ago, DamianSolo said: I never understood the point of an open relationship, though, I've always looked at them as being a placeholder for an actual relationship. What's really the difference between that and just being friends with benefits? Eventually, someone in that open relationship is going to meet someone they couldn't see themselves stepping out on because they're fully and passionately in love with that person. An open relationship is a glass half empty type of circumstance. not everyone solely connects sex with love/intimacy. Some people can have sex without feelings getting involved and can also turn the feelings on when they want, and that’s totally fine. Just do whatever floats your boat Edited October 21, 2023 by Chiidish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamianSolo Posted October 21, 2023 Share Posted October 21, 2023 4 hours ago, Chiidish said: not everyone solely connects sex with love/intimacy. Some people can have sex without feelings getting involved and can also turn the feelings on when they want, and that’s totally fine. Just do whatever floats your boat I agree. It can just be about physical satisfaction and enjoyment, something that they're not fully getting in their relationship—which is why the relationship becomes open to begin with, until they find someone who completely satisfies them sexually and is someone they fall in love with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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