tournament Golden Hit: Season 5 ⚜️ Congrats to fountain!

[Hug]

1 hour ago, punisher said:

electricity is out in gag city so unfortunately i can’t…

Not the mayor of gag city unable to pay the electric bill 😩

[Year of Shadow]

20 minutes ago, Hug said:

Not the mayor of gag city unable to pay the electric bill 😩

We are putting 115% of the budget towards ATRL's server 🙏

[Yvess]

On 12/7/2023 at 6:05 PM, Aurora said:

 

As everyone's favorite writing tournament comes to the end of another season, there's still time to submit for Round 6's Favorites challenge. 
Remember, if you've only just discovered Golden Hit or simply didn't wish to participate in other rounds, fear not: sign-ups are still open—just submit!

 

With that, it's time to present the top... er, six(?) of last round's Collaboration challenge with their bonus prizes: the Hit Tokens!

I've reviewed the requests from our trio of top writing duos for the week, and done my best to grant them for embossment.

 

To say this is one of the strangest Hit Token ceremonies would be an understatement...

...from the number of tokens, to the requested graphics, to... well, just take a look... 

 

 

Celebrating a third place triumph with “The Harp of Heaven and the Man with Clumsy Hands”:

@Hey Dude & @Hug

Hey Dude, here is your Bronze Hit Token embossed with Yvess' ATRL username and Pia Wurtzbach.

Congratulations! This is your first Hit Token of S5, and second Hit Token of Golden Hit overall!

(Dedicating this Hit Token to Yvess was a lovely gesture. I hope they like it!)

 

Hug, here is your Bronze Hit Token embossed with Hey Dude and your ATRL usernames and Tiz from Bravely Default.

Congratulations! This is your third Hit Token of S5, and eleventh Hit Token of Golden Hit overall (excluding your judge's tokens)!

(Now I know deep in your soul you knew those two images were incompatible... )

 

 

Celebrating a first place finish with “The Loop”:

@stupidjock & @JonginBey

stupidjock, here is your Golden Hit Token embossed with your ATRL username and Half-Figure by Edouard Nodin.

Congratulations! This is your second Hit Token of S5, and second Hit Token of Golden Hit overall!

(I hope this is what you meant when you said "the same as previous".)

 

JonginBey, here is your Golden Hit Token embossed with your ATRL username and Kai of EXO.

Congratulations! This is your first Hit Token of S5, and first Hit Token of Golden Hit overall!

(I didn't receive a request for you, so I hope you like this!)

 

 

Also celebrating a first place finish with “Parasite”:

hurricane326 & @Aurora

hurricane326, here is your Golden Hit Token embossed with your requested text.

Congratulations! This is your second Hit Token of S5, and ninth Hit Token of Golden Hit overall!

(idk lol!)

 

Aurora, here is your Golden Hit Token embossed with your ATRL username and moonseed.

Congratulations! This is your first Hit Token of S5, and third Hit Token of Golden Hit overall (excluding your judge's tokens)!

(I said I was going to claim my co-writing credit, didn't I?)

 

I hope you all enjoy your Hit Tokens as much as I did making them! Feel free to use them as a forum avatar if you wish, or just let them be a reminder of your time in Golden Hit—ultimately the choice is yours, and if for whatever reason you are dissatisfied with your token or simply wish to change the embossed graphic/text please contact me and I can arrange a remake. Remember, the top three writers of each round will earn their own Hit Token just like the six above, so make sure to submit each week for the best chance to claim one of these bonus prizes. 

 

Thank you so much @Hey Dude this is really so sweet of you

[punisher]

my song sucks so bad i just haven’t had any time to do it since i’m on vacation 

sorry for being late 

[Jackson]

On 12/8/2023 at 4:00 AM, fountain said:

I didn’t realise the deadline had passed

 

suffice to say I’ll be submitting late

are you also stuck in the Gag city power outage? 

[Kern]

[fountain]

6 hours ago, Jackson said:

are you also stuck in the Gag city power outage? 

Yes but I hear they’re about half way to getting it back on

 

edit: I will be submitting tonight 

Edited December 9, 2023 by fountain

[Kern]

well?

[Aurora]

"Call you Nicki if you ain't got enough power"

 

Katy was ahead of her time for the Con Calma Remix, I fear. @Jackson

[fountain]

28 minutes ago, Aurora said:

"Call you Nicki if you ain't got enough power"

 

Katy was ahead of her time for the Con Calma Remix, I fear. @Jackson

This post… lemme edit a line in my entry 

[Jackson]

1 hour ago, stupidjock said:

well?

i just landed in Gag city but the customs line was awful  

 

i'm working on reviews but it's a busy weekend, so i probably won't be able to finish today. will definitely post by tomorrow though 

[fountain]

fountain - The Most Incredulous Cough - Golden Hit Season 5

 

1. The Square

2. Killer Whales of the Zombie Strain; Cognisance

3. 🎭

4. Carrier

5. Harvest

6. Everything, as It Should Be (Official Theme Song of Golden Hit Season 5)

7. Everything, as It Shouldn’t Be (The Destruction of Golden Hit) 

8. fountain

 

Thank you for the season!

 

Edited December 9, 2023 by fountain

[Jackson]

I should also mention for the sake of our newer players – this week's results will occur during the season finale, which will be on a date to be determined (likely Monday or Tuesday but we have not finalized anything). There's a bit more preparation that goes into this, as we'll be revealing the scores for rounds 4-6, giving out rose gold tokens, and unveiling the season-end results and charts.

[Jackson]

21 minutes ago, fountain said:

fountain - The Most Incredulous Cough - Golden Hit Season 5

 

1. The Square

2. Killer Whales of the Zombie Strain; Cognisance

3. 🎭

4. Carrier

5. Harvest

6. Everything, as It Should Be (Official Theme Song of Golden Hit Season 5)

7. Everything, as It Shouldn’t Be (The Destruction of Golden Hit) 

8. fountain

 

Thank you for the season!

 

WAIT not there being multiple self-titled songs this round

[Kern]

Everyone’s using their username 💀

[fountain]

30 minutes ago, Jackson said:

WAIT not there being multiple self-titled songs this round

I’m so unoriginal 😓

[Jackson]

11 minutes ago, fountain said:

I’m so unoriginal 😓

when will we be hitting submit?

[worldwide angel]

On 12/7/2023 at 9:18 PM, worldwide angel said:

nnnn tracklist done, currently shooting the photoshoot looking for images on google

 and voila 

 

i present to you...

 

FROM VENUS, WITH LOVE - The Debut Album

 

i would go into depth but i'm sooooo tired 

 

Spoiler

SIDE A - DAWN 

 

the idea was to beginning this album with songs that deal with the personal aspects of life. these cluster of songs are about interpersonal relationships and self reflection

 

1. sundiving 
2. i don’t miss you
3. into fruition 
4. clementine
5. easy for me 
6. musings of an imperfect soul 

 

SIDE B - TWILIGHT 

 

self reflective side b: giving very much existential crisis in isolation

1. twilight
2. in the creek 
3. perfect blue
4. nevermore 
5. clarity and control 
6. eternal 

 

SIDE C - DUSK

 

from me to 'we', a reflection on history. a moment where a sense of calmness and acceptance washes over 

1. tears of time 
2. just the same
3. echo 
4. grace 
5. blue flame 
6. from venus, with love   formerly known as 'ascension on earth'

[fountain]

1 minute ago, worldwide angel said:

 and voila 

 

i present to you...

 

FROM VENUS, WITH LOVE - The Debut Album

 

i would go into depth but i'm sooooo tired 

 

  Hide contents

 

 

SIDE A - DAWN 

 

 

the idea was to beginning this album with songs that deal with the personal aspects of life. these cluster of songs are about interpersonal relationships and self reflection

 

1. sundiving 
2. i don’t miss you
3. into fruition 
4. clementine
5. easy for me 
6. musings of an imperfect soul 

 

SIDE B - TWILIGHT 

 

self reflective side b: giving very much existential crisis in isolation

1. twilight
2. in the creek 
3. perfect blue
4. nevermore 
5. clarity and control 
6. eternal 

 

SIDE C - DUSK

 

from me to 'we', a reflection on history. a moment where a sense of calmness and acceptance washes over 

1. tears of time 
2. just the same
3. echo 
4. grace 
5. blue flame 
6. from venus, with love   formerly known as 'ascension on earth'

This serving greatest hits with the amount of smashes  

[fountain]

1 hour ago, Jackson said:

when will we be hitting submit?

Now apparently 

[worldwide angel]

1 minute ago, fountain said:

This serving greatest hits with the amount of smashes  

the idea was to do this last season but this feels_complete.mp3

 

now i get to come back next season with new things to write about  

[Jackson]

 

Looks like I lied! Reviews are here. I honestly wasn't planning to finish these today but the time and willpower appeared. Great job this week!

 

hurricane326 – Time & Space

THREE songs in one? I love the ambition. In the first song, there’s a palpable sense of longing and nostalgia throughout. I love the imagery you use here – “beacon of flame” is a great way to start off your song. Although you don’t have a traditional chorus, I like the repeated “so praise the…” sections. Still, I thought the first song didn’t flow as well as I’m used to from you. “Where we all thought they would always endure” felt awkward coming off the tongue, and the constantly changing rhyme scheme made it hard to grasp a lyrical rhythm. The second song flowed much better, with a more defined structure. There were some really strong lines here too, like “the mosaic-lined sky will not genuflect”, which was the highlight for me. Still, despite the structural issues, I have to admit I preferred the first Ptolemy song, as it had a stronger emotional impact. Your third song felt more akin to what I’ve read from you in the past. Adding a spoken word section was a great idea. I thought it contrasted well from the rest of the song, and adding a reference to Ptolemaic Egypt at the end was a great way to tie everything together. This was a great way to end the season. I think this has been your strongest season yet - you were my highest scoring song in 4/6 rounds. No matter where you rank in the season-end charts, you’ve had an incredible season. I’m always excited to read your song first (considering you submit in like 2 hours) since I know it will always be high quality, emotive, and unique.

 

@Hug – Last Bible

l Iove your structure - it can be hard to make a long song make sense structurally. Adding a few spoken word sections is obviously a great way to get word count up, but the repeated vows throughout acted as a really effective quasi-chorus. In the first verse, I loved “it’s just you on me on our first anniversary”. Despite being a lengthier song, I think the central part of the story is fairly nebulous. Why did the couplet break up? The storyline seems to jump around a bit, but chronologically, we go right from their first anniversary to driving to the airport. Where was the spouse going? Were they already broken up at this point? I feel like I have more questions than answers here. This might also be a product of the song being more narrative in style, but I also found that the song had less standout lines than I would expect from you. Apart from the one I highlighted above and the refrain, no particular line sticks with me after finishing the song. The lines are still really well written. Everything flows well and there’s an evocative storyline, but I would have loved some additional clever Hug lines. The emotion was still quite strong. I found myself feeling the beginning of a tear form as I finished the song. I was definitely invested in the story, which just made me want to know more… even more!

 

@stupidjock - stupidjock (laws of the universe)

The self titled song, omg - this would also fit really well as a self-portrait song, which was last season’s final challenge. This would be the perfect single for your self-titled album too. First I need to comment on how much you’ve grown this season, because this song is so much bigger than your first one. I love the theme of this song. It’s something I’m sure a lot of people can relate to, and you tell the story extremely well. There’s something so simple yet intriguing about “and my sad eyes watered as he spoke”. There are a couple small grammar errors or awkward lines (“you are [a] very handsome one”/”you will make every heart woke”), but these are very rare and mostly confined to the beginning of the song. There’s a TON of standout lines here. The “doesn’t love transcend?” verse was immaculate, as was “we desire things we lack/I must make my own track” in the chorus. The whole idea of trying to improve yourself to the standards of someone else and it never being enough – I think we’ve all felt that way. Honestly I could keep highlighting lines I love, because there’s a lot. This may be my favorite song from you this season. Great job!

 

@Legend E – Rehearsal

I hope this isn’t TOO autobiographical : – but we’re here for you :. I love how you chose to execute this concept, though. Using “rehearsal” as a motif is both striking and very effectively displays the thoughts going through the narrator’s thread. This entire 567 word song really lives inside a moment, as you imagine “rehearsing” these actions, and as your mind races through time to a supposed future, wondering if it will be better than the present. I also like the idea of wanting a certain life in the past, but once you’ve achieved it wondering how fulfilling it really is. I think focusing on the specific age of 30 seems a bit unnecessary in this context, although you could have made it feel more necessary by explaining exactly why that age is notable to the character. I really liked the “prince” line - along with the titular line, I think these were some of your best this season. Compared to your other songs this season, this was one of the best from a narrative and emotional perspective. I’m not sure it was my #1 from you this season, but definitely one of your best.

 

@JonginBey – You

I’m so glad you were able to submit not one, but TWO songs this season. We were really impressed with your work last week, so I was super excited to see your first solo entry. I was worried this was going to be the Alone to your Unholy, but I’m thrilled to say this is more a Right Round/Tik Tok situation. You’re a very talented writer and I’m mad that we only got to see two of your songs this season :. There’s a few things you do really well here. You add a lot of specific details like “denim jacket” or “like your favorite coffee” that add so much personality and vibrancy to your lyrics (the “coffee” line, by the way, was one of my favorites). Your metaphors are so effortless and clever, like “by now i’m fluent in your name/an echoing chime/sways in the way/you had done that night”. The lyrics are so full of adulation and bombast – they’re cute without being cheesy, and incredibly well-executed throughout. This is written so well poetically, yet it retains a very commercial, poppy quality. I was worried I wouldn’t give a 10 all season, but I think you’ve earned it!

 

@JoeAg - Wasted by Woodmoor

Welcome to GH5! I’m glad you decided to submit for a round this season. On my first read, I was mostly scanning to see what vocabulary word you chose this week, and I was delighted to see “esurient f***er” greet me a few verses in. OMG and “mote” is making a cameo, you really gave us everything. This really was everything I would come to expect from a JoeAG song, but executed to the highest quality. I love the raw brashness of your profane outbursts, like “reaching out to the hand of the ***** you thought I was”, or “flash forward and we’re ******* on your birthday”. All the specificity, all the raw emotion, all the subtle absurdity convinces me that these are just pages from your diary, and whether they are or not, the fact that they’re so convincing says a lot. There are a few drawbacks to this style – I feel like the “piss” line wasn’t really necessary, and images like “moisten my lips” don’t add much to the story, but this was overall a triumphant return for you. I’m hoping we’ll see you more next season!

 

@worldwide angel – tears of time

Finally, a break from all the long songs! I truly enjoy them, but it’s nice to have some lighter fare for balance. This piece is full of so many highlights. “the wheel of time never erodes”, “minute minutes of joy and bliss”, and “can our communal cloth/wipe the tears of time” were all standouts. This is a fairly short piece, but there’s so many layers to these lyrics that it feels much longer. I read through the song a few times, and I have different takeaways each time. There’s some really interesting word choices, like “minds of metal”, “songbirds robbed of the voice and siloed away”, and the specific pronoun “his rage” that give me certain images and ideas that might not even match what you intended to write, but end up being quite poignant. I think the first half of the song is the strongest. The second half perhaps could have benefited from a few longer/additional lines to provide some extra weight before the phenomenal ending, but this was still an excellent song regardless and one of my favorites from you this season.

 

@Hey Dude – Solar

OMG! Finally an absurdity entry! Also, your inspiration is finally a piece of media that I’ve consumed before, although it was probably two decades ago and I have very few memories of it. I love the intro – the “gather round” helps set the scene for the absurd story. “Turquoise clouds that scream their loud color” really reinforces the absurdity of the scene. “But who’ll traverse an X that’s never been found” was also a really cool line. There were a few lines that seemed a bit awkwardly worded or phrased to fit a rhyme scheme, like “throw around with blunt” and “pirate-proud”. I also feel like the absurdity could have been turned up even one more level. Perhaps it’s a function of me not being incredibly familiar with the source material, but some of the sections, especially near the end, didn’t give me full absurdity. Had you not relied quite as much on the movie and more on your own world-building skills (which I know you have), I think it would have been a bit more convincing. I still thought this was a pretty solid entry, though, and a great ending to the excellent season you’ve had.

 

@punisher – I’m the ****

Not sure if this is intended to be a rap or not, but I think writing a rap song is one of the best ways to fulfill the challenge, as raps are naturally more verbose and don’t require as much of the “let me write an outro, four verses, and a double chorus to fit the word count” that a lot of the other writers ran into. There are SO many standout lyrics from this. From the first verse alone, I loved “modern marilyn monroe/never wear any clothes”, “your man would **** if i’m down/good scent following me around”, “my stock tucked and my ass is round/move my hips side to side until it jiggles”, and more. We’ve mentioned in prior review that there are times when raunchy lyrics become grotesque, but when you come out swinging from the beginning “your man wanna eat out my butt” only adds to the ambience. How do you even come up with “***** so wet i need a diaper”?? The line that comes closest to unforgivable debauchery is the “abortion clinic” one, but in a Post-Roe world (I don’t think you’re American but I am  we’ll celebrate it. There’s really so many standout lines I can’t quote half of them. Well done!

 

 

@fountain - Everything, as It Shouldn’t Be/fountain

Considering last week’s song really should have been for this challenge, it only makes sense to write a sequel. The worldbuilding is a bit off considering Witness is Katy’s like 3rd or 4th best album, but perhaps that adds to the absurdity? You also know I would only duet Roar with you. “Bugs on coats” feels so fountain-esque, and I like that it’s appeared in a few places now. This is absolute absurdity gold. Like last week, I’m not sure if I can classify this as song lyrics, but it hits every other mark. But since it’s just a dialogue with no lyrical structure, my score will mostly be based on “fountain”. I love a meta song – this reminds me a BIT of @Hug's song about writer’s block in that way, but obviously quite different in almost every other way. I’m glad you started the song with “and the narrative continues”, providing some kind of thread between the two parts, rather than leaving them completely disjointed. I also appreciate the juxtaposition between the absurd maximalism between the first piece and the understated tone of the second. There’s an unusual, yet casual rhyme scheme that plays throughout which I really like” Although it’s disconnected by a few lines, “I’m a little apprehensive” rolls off the tongue better because of “conceptions of convention” that comes before it. I’m sure a lot of us relate to “It’s not so innate/to want to share such sincerity”. It’s a good idea to write a song about the one thing that all of us can relate to – the one thing that ties all of us together. “The depths of us are the depths for a reason/I’m not sure if they’re meant to be viewed” deepens that theme. “Innards” was an odd word choice, and one I’m not entirely convinced of. I’m interested to hear what the “I’ve known a lot of change” verse is about, and who this person watching is. At first I thought you were referring to the GH judges, but it seems like this verse is a precursor to your time here. In the following verse, “I carried six with me, despite stain/I delivered them to your acclaim” was a highlight, even though only 5 of them could be considered acclaimed :. Thankfully, I think this song can be counted among them. Great job!

[worldwide angel]

1 minute ago, Jackson said:

 

 

@worldwide angel – tears of time

Finally, a break from all the long songs! I truly enjoy them, but it’s nice to have some lighter fare for balance. This piece is full of so many highlights. “the wheel of time never erodes”, “minute minutes of joy and bliss”, and “can our communal cloth/wipe the tears of time” were all standouts. This is a fairly short piece, but there’s so many layers to these lyrics that it feels much longer. I read through the song a few times, and I have different takeaways each time. There’s some really interesting word choices, like “minds of metal”, “songbirds robbed of the voice and siloed away”, and the specific pronoun “his rage” that give me certain images and ideas that might not even match what you intended to write, but end up being quite poignant. I think the first half of the song is the strongest. The second half perhaps could have benefited from a few longer/additional lines to provide some extra weight before the phenomenal ending, but this was still an excellent song regardless and one of my favorites from you this season.

d among them. Great job!

 

thank you so much <3 

[Jackson]

 

⚜ THE SONGS OF ROUND 6 ⚜

 

hurricane326 – Time & Space

@Hug – Last Bible

@stupidjock – stupidjock (laws of the universe)

@Legend E – Rehearsal

@JonginBey – You

@JoeAg – Wasted by Woodmoor

@worldwide angel – tears of time

@Hey Dude – Solar

@punisher – I'm the S**t

@fountain – Everything, as it Shouldn't Be / fountain

 

ATW10MVTVFTV was the clear winner of the round with 8 entries. Spoken Word had 3 entries, and the other two had 2 each.

[Hug]

Thank you for your comments Jackson! I guess this is one of those situations where I had the story all figured out in my head and figured others would just "get it" because I did. That's a common mistake for me when I try to do something that has a timeline and isn't just a "vibe" or a single moment.

 

I wanted the implication to be that the other person died, with the strongest lines to hint at that being "If I begged you not to leave and kept you by my side / If I just locked the doors and kept you in my sight / Would you still be around? Would you be alright? / …maybe, and that’s what kills me deep inside" with this, I wanted there to be regret for letting the one they loved go on a flight, only to die on it. (With them only taking them to the airport and hugging/kissing them goodbye being the only allusion to the death being a flight specifically.) It's not so much of a longing for someone they broke up with song as it is someone having a hard time coping with loss song...it still doesn't fully feel real to them in moments like when they make a cup of tea or get the crossword and a pen. I could've made it more explicit that they died (and the original intro actually did explicitly mention this. (After "looking to my side so expectantly, it said "forgetting you're not alive"...or something to that effect.) I deleted it because I wanted there to be some sort of question as you go through the song: "what happened exactly?"...I suppose I could've done better to actually answer that question by the end, however.

 

As for the timeline, the "present" is the first half of the verses (getting out of bed, walking to the kitchen, and going out on the porch), and everything else is memories or just a casual conversation talking about how they've been doing (since the tone is the person talking to their love that died), but I do understand how things feel scattered to someone who wouldn't have the whole timeline visualized in their head.

 

Also sorry for the essay, but I always liked seeing what others had going through their heads as they were writing things so I wanted to share mine!