tournament Golden Hit: Season 5 ⚜️ Congrats to fountain!

[Jackson]

 

The deadline has passed and judging has begun! We'll still accept any final entries while we work on judging and scoring. Judges will post their reviews over the next 2-3 days, with results targeted for Sunday. In the meantime, feel free to post your song lyrics and discuss the round, reviews, or anything else!

[blackoutbaby]

Submitted. Watch out *******.

[blackoutbaby]

21 minutes ago, Jackson said:

 

The deadline has passed and judging has begun! We'll still accept any final entries while we work on judging and scoring. Judges will post their reviews over the next 2-3 days, with results targeted for Sunday. In the meantime, feel free to post your song lyrics and discuss the round, reviews, or anything else!

Not me just now submitting extremely last minute. My power.

[fountain]

1 hour ago, Jackson said:

oof that schedule  i know at least @fountain is submitting tomorrow, so if you have time tomorrow that would be fine tbh. you can also just wait for R2 if you don't have the time/energy this week

Good morning, hehe, yes my song will be in soon 

[fountain]

6 hours ago, Hey Dude said:

Yeah Golden Hit is a very positive game, everything comes from a desire to motivate us to want to keep playing and to constantly improve 

Golden Hit is the games section’s equivalent of this meme

 

[Invisibility]

Juuuust managed to submit

And now I'm gone to sleep 

[Aurora]

Fantastic to see so many entries coming through at the last minute! Of course there's still time before reviews and scores are finalised, so hopefully anyone who is still aiming to submit, or just wants to revise their submission, can do so during the next 48 hours or so.

 

As usual, the second round will begin on Saturday, approximately a day before the results of the first round are announced. What are your predictions for the next round? 

[fountain]

Submitted! 

[Kern]

Can’t wait 

[Hug]

4 hours ago, Aurora said:

Fantastic to see so many entries coming through at the last minute! Of course there's still time before reviews and scores are finalised, so hopefully anyone who is still aiming to submit, or just wants to revise their submission, can do so during the next 48 hours or so.

 

As usual, the second round will begin on Saturday, approximately a day before the results of the first round are announced. What are your predictions for the next round? 

We're gonna be doing samples & sequels again

[Jackson]

8 hours ago, fountain said:

Golden Hit is the games section’s equivalent of this meme

 

i would say tag yourself but idk who 3 of those people are 

[blackoutbaby]

My song is so ahead of it’s time. Y’all might not get it at first, but after a few listens, you’ll really see what I was doing artistically.

 

 

[fountain]

3 hours ago, Jackson said:

i would say tag yourself but idk who 3 of those people are 

Ummm oscar winner Olivia Colman and emmy winner Phoebe Waller-Bridge? 

[Jackson]

This wasn't planned at all, but one of the challenges this round was inspired by was called "I Know Places"

 

Happy 1989TV day 

 

 

[fountain]

How did everybody feel with their entries this round? 
 

I’m feeling satisfied with mine! Actually, it probably turned out better than I expected with my lack of time and being sick this week, so I’m very glad with what I ended up with. 

[Aurora]

9 hours ago, Hug said:

We're gonna be doing samples & sequels again

 

4 hours ago, fountain said:

Ummm oscar winner Olivia Colman and emmy winner Phoebe Waller-Bridge? 

I don't know what's worse, Jackson only knowing Taylor, or me knowing Taylor and Olivia but only because of Heartstopper.  I've heard of Phoebe but couldn't pick her out of a crowd, oops.

 

EDIT: She was the lady in the new Indiana Jones movie? I only watched that like a month ago and it doesn't even look like her tbh.

[Kern]

1 minute ago, Aurora said:

 

I don't know what's worse, Jackson only knowing Taylor, or me knowing Taylor and Olivia but only because of Heartstopper.  I've heard of Phoebe but couldn't pick her out of a crowd, oops.

 

EDIT: She was the lady in the new Indiana Jones movie? I only watched that like a month ago and it doesn't even look like her tbh.

The lady from new Indiana Jones movie is a main character from iconic tv series Fleabag which she wrote herself as a theater play, I strongly recommend to watch it 

[Aurora]

2 hours ago, Jackson said:

This wasn't planned at all, but one of the challenges this round was inspired by was called "I Know Places"

 

Happy 1989TV day 

 

 

The way I was going to make an appreciation post yesterday after I finished listening to the album in full, but the "From The Vault" tracks sucked so hard that I had no desire to praise it anymore.

 

This album had literally just come out when Platinum Hit 6 started and in my very first song I remember writing lyrics such as, "wildest dreams," and, "the rain came pouring down," and getting clocked for ripping off Taylor by @feelslikeadream.  But while it's awful what Taylor had to go through with her masters being sold out from under her and everything, I think it's worked out for the best because it's truly special getting to relive these amazing eras like 'Red' and '1989' almost a decade later. I'm super glad that she didn't butcher many of these songs either (RIP "Style") since that album was so perfectly and meticulously crafted to be the pop perfection that it is. I was really expecting the new songs to slap but like... even "Message In A Bottle" would have made a better addition to this record. The only one I remotely liked was "Is It Over Now?" and that just felt like an early draft of "Out of the Woods".

[Hug]

57 minutes ago, fountain said:

How did everybody feel with their entries this round? 
 

I’m feeling satisfied with mine! Actually, it probably turned out better than I expected with my lack of time and being sick this week, so I’m very glad with what I ended up with. 

I had my usual arc when making entries for this game. I started with "omg I hate this I'll never write anything good again I'm over :(" and then I finally got out of my writer's block and I like my entry.

 

Idk if I'd say it stands out in a discography as diverse and amazing as mine, but hey, when you're a fossil still trying to play...

[Aurora]

I have to head out and run some errands today but once I'm back I will delve right into reviewing the last of the entries! Of course if anyone is still planning to submit, feel free to do so any time before the results show is scheduled.

[Jackson]

not this thread teaching me that Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Phoebe Bridgers are different people 

 

31 minutes ago, Aurora said:

This album had literally just come out when Platinum Hit 6 started and in my very first song I remember writing lyrics such as, "wildest dreams," and, "the rain came pouring down," and getting clocked for ripping off Taylor by @feelslikeadream.  But while it's awful what Taylor had to go through with her masters being sold out from under her and everything, I think it's worked out for the best because it's truly special getting to relive these amazing eras like 'Red' and '1989' almost a decade later. I'm super glad that she didn't butcher many of these songs either (RIP "Style") since that album was so perfectly and meticulously crafted to be the pop perfection that it is. I was really expecting the new songs to slap but like... even "Message In A Bottle" would have made a better addition to this record. The only one I remotely liked was "Is It Over Now?" and that just felt like an early draft of "Out of the Woods".

EVERYONE was plagiarizing Taylor that season  I remember having to address it specifically. She may be re-peaking now but she had the PH community in a chokehold in 2014

 

Also agree that the Vault tracks kinda just sound like Midnights outtakes.. and looking at the writing credits I'm pretty sure she just wrote them in the past few months  

[Jackson]

 

@Kayseri Mantisi – Land of the Rising Sun

Welcome to Golden Hit! Your song was the first one submitted this season, and I think you started off the season on a high note. I love how you fully embraced the challenge. I fully feel the sense of wanderlust throughout your lyrics and how you weaved Japanese imagery through every line. Your writing style in this song is very vibrant and colorful to where I can imagine myself in the song. This was most prominently displayed in your chorus, which was extremely catchy and memorable. I like the sense of sensuality you brought to the chorus. “I wanna taste your sushi” was perhaps a slight misstep, but I think the chorus was otherwise flawless, specifically the image of exploring “each hidden room” in the lover’s temple. There were a couple moments where I felt that the rhyme scheme was driving the song rather than the story, such as “A dream that’s never done” and “out stories got spun”, but those moments weren’t overly prevalent – I’d just watch for that in future weeks. Otherwise, I loved lines like “I’m writing a song of longing with each lyric I hum”. You’ve arrived to the competition already with strong writing skills and some of the best imagery I’ve seen, so I can’t wait to see what you continue to bring in the coming weeks.

 

hurricane326 – The City (An Ode to Pittsburgh)

So excited to have you back this season! I often find myself relating a lot to your writing, which is a testament to your skill. In my mind, the main pillars of songwriting are emotion, technical ability, and ability to convey imagery through words. You’re already a masterfully emotive writer, but this song showcases your technical abilities in ways I haven’t seen before. I love the subtle alliteration in lines like “one word I mouth with meaning means”. You have some absolutely brilliant one-lines here, like “ ‘child’ is a before and after, a paradise of painful proportion” and “from the city wrapping tight around my heart and mind” – these both rank among your best. As I alluded to earlier, I relate to this song heavily, having moved to a big city three years ago and realizing how much it’s changed my life for the better, and how much more vibrant and purposeful my life is just from changing my setting, or a “movement towards the light”, as you put it. My only minor notes are that some lines feel slightly out of space. I feel like “cyberspace” didn’t need fit the vibe of the rest of the song, and “strife” feels forced to fit a rhyme (as it does 95% of the time it’s used in lyrics). But these are only minor comments to an otherwise almost-perfect song. If this is any indication of your trajectory this season, this could be your best yet!

 

@Hug – Sea of Stars 

Welcome back! It’s good to see you back for your 54^th season (I can’t judge as I’m probably just behind you). Although I’m obviously not scoring you on it, your cover is stunning as always. This song gives me strong “Alien” by Britney vibes – a song about not feeling like you belong on this planet. Although not exactly how I envisioned the prompt being followed, it’s certainly a creative interpretation of it. The simple, unadorned structure and language in this song make it feel almost like a lullaby, amplified by the somber mood of the lyrics. Because the song is mostly a simple AABB rhyme structure, it makes lines that don’t follow the rhyme scheme stand out, such as “I find myself somewhere among the stars” and “To swim in the sea of stars is everything I want” – perhaps this is on purpose, but I feel like these lines aren’t quite strong enough to be pushed out on their own like this. As always, you do a lot well here too. The entire song is soaked in a melancholy mood that feels tangible. You also had some strong imagery in lines like “I draw a map in my mind, and wish that I was there”. This is a good first entry from you, and I’m excited to see what other worlds you take us to this season.

 

@Legend E – Lands 

This was a cool way to portray moving to a new country. I find it really interesting to hear your experience in the new country, as it’s often cited by Americans as some mecca of human-scale building and transportation and something to envy. Yet, I’ve also heard of it being a very unwelcoming country to immigrants and those that don’t speak the language. The way you chose to write this feels very raw, like a page out of your diary. I see this almost as a spoken word song, with varying line lengths and not much in the way of poetic structure. This style helps convey the strong emotional message of the lyrics, even if it prevents any singular line as standing out as most memorable. Like you already kind of mentioned, the bridge feels a bit out of place. You mention that you felt like you needed to include that section, and I think there are ways you could have included it while incorporating it better into the rest of the song. Specifically, I think the word “corporate” pulls me out of the song – this is a place where showing or explaining rather than telling could have been helpful. I also found the love/like lines in the outro to be a bit redundant. Regardless, this piece was jammed completely full of emotion. It was also a unique and refreshing take on the challenge, making it so personal and regarding your chosen place as somewhere with mixed emotions rather than an escape. I can’t wait to see what you do next!

 

@stupidjock – Rijeka 

I briefly read your first song, and I’m happy to say that I think this one is an improvement! The first song had some good moments, but it also did feel generic at times, where this song has a lot of personality to it. I had never heard of Rijeka before reading this, but I felt like I was on the Croatian coast by the end of the song. I love all the specific references to parts of the city in the lyrics – things like “concrete over water” and “city museum, oil painting on the wall” help build the setting really well. Details like “I lost my swimming trunks, I have nothing underneath but me” were also great additions. The song was a little short and disjointed at times. You had a lot of great single lines, but they weren’t always woven together in a way that told a cohesive story. I’d recommend trying to think of an overall story and trying to fit pieces together in a way that conveys the emotional arch of the lyrics just as well as you describe the images and events of the song. Still, this is an extremely solid entry, especially for a first-time participant. You’ve already shown that you have a way with words and a great understanding of the blocks to build a great song. I hope to see you continue to experiment with putting those pieces together to craft some truly great songs!

 

@worldwide angel – Babel 

What a cinematic return, starting your song off with an operatic array of strings accompanied by soaring synths and trip-hop. I’m glad to see you back again. Your style is unique but always refreshing. This song had a slightly darker tone than some of your entries, which I appreciated. Even without the *ascending chorus of glistening harps*, I could feel the crescendo throughout the chorus. “Concrete” is such a forceful word to use in a chorus, but it feels earned here. I love both the symbolism and imagery in the verses, from “wheat made of gold” to “let’s fill up the void/with bands of blessed, burned souls”. As is common on songs with such deep symbolism, there were certain lines I didn’t fully understand. I’m not sure what the significance of Victoria was, for example. Although the song has tinges of optimism, Babe typically has a negative association, as the tower was ultimately struck down. This muffles some of the optimism for me – whether or not this was intentional, I liked the conflicting emotions. This was a very complex first entry, but ultimately a great song.

 

@Antikythera – Amsterdam (Lekker D) 

Love to see multiple Dutch entries this round. Welcome to Golden Hit! Slutty pop anthems are always welcome here, and I’m glad to see something more light-hearted this round. Right away in the first verse, I loved “let me get it straight or bi-“ – this was such a clever, fun lyric. Other than this lyric, the first verse was a bit generic, but there was enough personality in the rest of the song to more than make up for it. I LOVED the interjections of Dutch profanity. I kinda screamed after putting “geil” into Google translate – I didn’t realize we were going there with this song! While normally I don’t love highly repetitive sections, I thought the “and you can call me whatever (slet slet slet slet)” section entertaining. My only other criticism is that the song was on the shorter side. I would have loved to see what other Dutch smut you could conjure up. I’d love to see an even more ambitious song from you in future rounds. I’m already excited to see where you go from here!

 

@Hey Dude – High 

You always come through with the media education. I had never heard of Ratchet & Clank or been aware of the prevalence of abandoned airfields in 2000’s video games. I’m glad to see you back this season and with a new muse. This song was so PoKi. I loved the spoken word radio host section – it had a lot of personality and helped set the tone of the song. You’re always unabashedly yourself in this competition, and there’s a lot to love about that. While the amount of personality in the song is often a good thing, there are times where your lyrics become so hyper-specific that they’re hard to relate to, such as in the spoken post-chorus or the lyric “I wanna make my dough as a talk show host”. I love the amount of personality you show, but it’s a bit jarring to see “PoKiTaurus, bro” in the middle of your song. Elsewhere, I think you captured the desert, wild west theme well, such as “I walk by, they tell me ‘howdy boy!’”. Regardless, I love that you constantly craft such authentic fun songs, and I’m excited to see even more from you this season.

 

@blackoutbaby – Paris ***** 

You say this song takes a few reads to get, but I thought it was a pretty instant smash. Right off the bat you hit us with “My body’s like The Louvre/It’s a ******* work of art” – being completely honest, I love the brashness of this. I could see this song kicking off with heavy synths and drums, matching the sensuality of the lyrics. Much like Antikythera’s entry, I think the repeated words worked here because they specifically related to the challenge, and the repeated “oui oui” brought a campiness to the lyrics. If anything, I think you could have taken the lyrics farther in a couple places. I liked the Eiffel Tower reference, but I think it could have been slutted up a bit more by making reference to the sex position of the same name. You also mentioned “like a fire/light your fire” a couple times – rather than repeating lines an a fairly short song, I would have loved to see another double-entendre. “Lick me slow like escargot” honestly has to be a contender for line of the season already, absolutely fabulous work there. I also laughed at the random Lady Marmalade sample at the end. This was such a fun song to read, and I could feel that you had a blast writing it. I’d love to see other sides of you in future weeks, but this was a great first entry.

 

@Invisibility – Corchito 

Welcome back! Apologies if I’m misremembering, but I believe you started playing in GH3 when I was on hiatus, so I don’t think I’ve read your writing before, but this is an excellent first entry! The words you use are extremely vivid – I can practically see myself diving into a cenote and see the light twisting through green and blue waters as salt and freshwater mix. I love the fresh-salt sea simile you used and how you connected the setting of the song with yourself. The specific imagery of the mangroves, the blurred waterline, and open airways allowed me not only see what you’re describing, but feel the air leave my lungs and water hit my skin. There were a few lyrics that felt out of place to me, most prominently the “Mach 2” line, which didn’t fit the vibe of the rest of the song. Otherwise, this was one of my favorite songs this round, and I’m excited to see your future entries!

 

@fountain – The Square 

Welcome back, and welcome to your first season of Golden Hit as a contestant! I already made this point in hurricane’s review, but “strife” is almost always a forced rhyme, and this song is no exception. There were a couple other lines that felt forced to fit the rhyme scheme as well, such as “a childhood filled with lack”. I wanted to get a couple small criticisms out of the way, because otherwise I thought this was a lovely song. I loved the experimentation with structure – despite the “lack” line, the rhyme scheme of that verse was very engaging. I like the way the rhythm wasn’t consistent throughout the song, echoing the changing emotions from childlike innocence to feeling stuck as an adult. Apart from the hook 3, the bridge was my favorite part of the song. I think a lot of us can relate to the fear instilled within us, being told that you can’t leave the place you are because the rest of the world is terrifying and terrible, continuing a cycle of fear. I could go through the rest of the lyrics and mention all the little things I love, but I would be mentioning most of the song. I’ve been excited to see your writing this season, and this song just makes me even more eager to see what else you come up with!

 

 

@Prisoner – The Fishpond Behind My Grandfather’s House

I’m happy to see you back, but the tardiness! I’m also happy to see your return to form with the long Lana-esque titles. I love these types of songs where you just linger in a moment, savoring the sights and sounds. I also love the way you paint everything as bigger than life, just like a child would, with the “grasses stood too high” and “the most glorious fish pond in the entire world”. There’s such a strong sense of nostalgia and happiness, but also a longing for a past that can’t come back. My favorite lines are “I’d hopped onto the air and knew I had flown/when grandma calls out from afar after dinner’s ready” - you show that naive sense of childlike wonder brought back to reality by the call of a parent or grandparent so well. Technically, everything here is pretty sound as well. My only wish is that the end of the song could have been explored further. Although the “pond that has since dried up” line gets the point across, I think there are some really powerful feelings that could have been tapped into deeper had you explored that part of the story more, perhaps by revisiting the pond as an adult or likening it to the aging of the grandparents. In all, though, this is a really strong entry - perhaps one of my favorites from you. Great job!

 

 

@réveuse  – London

Welcome to Golden Hit! I’m so happy to see you submit something, as I’ve been looking forward to seeing your writing since you originally posted in the songwriter’s thread. As you mention in the Google doc, this is a very short song, so I feel I didn’t get enough of YOU in it. Since it’s so short, every lyric needed to be absolutely packed with personality and meaning, and I don’t think it was necessarily the case. I really appreciated the London references, but I would have loved even more to make the song stand out. I realize this may have been a last minute entry, so I really hope to see you create something with more time next week and show us more of who you are as a writer. 

[Jackson]

 

⚜ THE SONGS OF ROUND 1 ⚜

 

Kayseri Mantisi - Land of the Rising Sun

hurricane326 -The City (An Ode to Pittsburgh)

Hug - Sea of Stars

Legend E - Lands

stupidjock - Rijeka

worldwide angel - Babel

Antikythera - Amsterdam (Lekker D)

Hey Dude - High

blackoutbaby - Paris *****

Invisibility - Corchito

fountain - The Square 

Prisoner - The Fishpond Behind My Grandfather's Home

réveuse - London

[worldwide angel]

12 minutes ago, Jackson said:

 

@Kayseri Mantisi – Land of the Rising Sun

Welcome to Golden Hit! Your song was the first one submitted this season, and I think you started off the season on a high note. I love how you fully embraced the challenge. I fully feel the sense of wanderlust throughout your lyrics and how you weaved Japanese imagery through every line. Your writing style in this song is very vibrant and colorful to where I can imagine myself in the song. This was most prominently displayed in your chorus, which was extremely catchy and memorable. I like the sense of sensuality you brought to the chorus. “I wanna taste your sushi” was perhaps a slight misstep, but I think the chorus was otherwise flawless, specifically the image of exploring “each hidden room” in the lover’s temple. There were a couple moments where I felt that the rhyme scheme was driving the song rather than the story, such as “A dream that’s never done” and “out stories got spun”, but those moments weren’t overly prevalent – I’d just watch for that in future weeks. Otherwise, I loved lines like “I’m writing a song of longing with each lyric I hum”. You’ve arrived to the competition already with strong writing skills and some of the best imagery I’ve seen, so I can’t wait to see what you continue to bring in the coming weeks.

 

hurricane326 – The City (An Ode to Pittsburgh)

So excited to have you back this season! I often find myself relating a lot to your writing, which is a testament to your skill. In my mind, the main pillars of songwriting are emotion, technical ability, and ability to convey imagery through words. You’re already a masterfully emotive writer, but this song showcases your technical abilities in ways I haven’t seen before. I love the subtle alliteration in lines like “one word I mouth with meaning means”. You have some absolutely brilliant one-lines here, like “ ‘child’ is a before and after, a paradise of painful proportion” and “from the city wrapping tight around my heart and mind” – these both rank among your best. As I alluded to earlier, I relate to this song heavily, having moved to a big city three years ago and realizing how much it’s changed my life for the better, and how much more vibrant and purposeful my life is just from changing my setting, or a “movement towards the light”, as you put it. My only minor notes are that some lines feel slightly out of space. I feel like “cyberspace” didn’t need fit the vibe of the rest of the song, and “strife” feels forced to fit a rhyme (as it does 95% of the time it’s used in lyrics). But these are only minor comments to an otherwise almost-perfect song. If this is any indication of your trajectory this season, this could be your best yet!

 

@Hug – Sea of Stars 

Welcome back! It’s good to see you back for your 54^th season (I can’t judge as I’m probably just behind you). Although I’m obviously not scoring you on it, your cover is stunning as always. This song gives me strong “Alien” by Britney vibes – a song about not feeling like you belong on this planet. Although not exactly how I envisioned the prompt being followed, it’s certainly a creative interpretation of it. The simple, unadorned structure and language in this song make it feel almost like a lullaby, amplified by the somber mood of the lyrics. Because the song is mostly a simple AABB rhyme structure, it makes lines that don’t follow the rhyme scheme stand out, such as “I find myself somewhere among the stars” and “To swim in the sea of stars is everything I want” – perhaps this is on purpose, but I feel like these lines aren’t quite strong enough to be pushed out on their own like this. As always, you do a lot well here too. The entire song is soaked in a melancholy mood that feels tangible. You also had some strong imagery in lines like “I draw a map in my mind, and wish that I was there”. This is a good first entry from you, and I’m excited to see what other worlds you take us to this season.

 

@Legend E – Lands 

This was a cool way to portray moving to a new country. I find it really interesting to hear your experience in the new country, as it’s often cited by Americans as some mecca of human-scale building and transportation and something to envy. Yet, I’ve also heard of it being a very unwelcoming country to immigrants and those that don’t speak the language. The way you chose to write this feels very raw, like a page out of your diary. I see this almost as a spoken word song, with varying line lengths and not much in the way of poetic structure. This style helps convey the strong emotional message of the lyrics, even if it prevents any singular line as standing out as most memorable. Like you already kind of mentioned, the bridge feels a bit out of place. You mention that you felt like you needed to include that section, and I think there are ways you could have included it while incorporating it better into the rest of the song. Specifically, I think the word “corporate” pulls me out of the song – this is a place where showing or explaining rather than telling could have been helpful. I also found the love/like lines in the outro to be a bit redundant. Regardless, this piece was jammed completely full of emotion. It was also a unique and refreshing take on the challenge, making it so personal and regarding your chosen place as somewhere with mixed emotions rather than an escape. I can’t wait to see what you do next!

 

@stupidjock – Rijeka 

I briefly read your first song, and I’m happy to say that I think this one is an improvement! The first song had some good moments, but it also did feel generic at times, where this song has a lot of personality to it. I had never heard of Rijeka before reading this, but I felt like I was on the Croatian coast by the end of the song. I love all the specific references to parts of the city in the lyrics – things like “concrete over water” and “city museum, oil painting on the wall” help build the setting really well. Details like “I lost my swimming trunks, I have nothing underneath but me” were also great additions. The song was a little short and disjointed at times. You had a lot of great single lines, but they weren’t always woven together in a way that told a cohesive story. I’d recommend trying to think of an overall story and trying to fit pieces together in a way that conveys the emotional arch of the lyrics just as well as you describe the images and events of the song. Still, this is an extremely solid entry, especially for a first-time participant. You’ve already shown that you have a way with words and a great understanding of the blocks to build a great song. I hope to see you continue to experiment with putting those pieces together to craft some truly great songs!

 

@worldwide angel – Babel 

What a cinematic return, starting your song off with an operatic array of strings accompanied by soaring synths and trip-hop. I’m glad to see you back again. Your style is unique but always refreshing. This song had a slightly darker tone than some of your entries, which I appreciated. Even without the *ascending chorus of glistening harps*, I could feel the crescendo throughout the chorus. “Concrete” is such a forceful word to use in a chorus, but it feels earned here. I love both the symbolism and imagery in the verses, from “wheat made of gold” to “let’s fill up the void/with bands of blessed, burned souls”. As is common on songs with such deep symbolism, there were certain lines I didn’t fully understand. I’m not sure what the significance of Victoria was, for example. Although the song has tinges of optimism, Babe typically has a negative association, as the tower was ultimately struck down. This muffles some of the optimism for me – whether or not this was intentional, I liked the conflicting emotions. This was a very complex first entry, but ultimately a great song.

 

@Antikythera – Amsterdam (Lekker D) 

Love to see multiple Dutch entries this round. Welcome to Golden Hit! Slutty pop anthems are always welcome here, and I’m glad to see something more light-hearted this round. Right away in the first verse, I loved “let me get it straight or bi-“ – this was such a clever, fun lyric. Other than this lyric, the first verse was a bit generic, but there was enough personality in the rest of the song to more than make up for it. I LOVED the interjections of Dutch profanity. I kinda screamed after putting “geil” into Google translate – I didn’t realize we were going there with this song! While normally I don’t love highly repetitive sections, I thought the “and you can call me whatever (slet slet slet slet)” section entertaining. My only other criticism is that the song was on the shorter side. I would have loved to see what other Dutch smut you could conjure up. I’d love to see an even more ambitious song from you in future rounds. I’m already excited to see where you go from here!

 

@Hey Dude – High 

You always come through with the media education. I had never heard of Ratchet & Clank or been aware of the prevalence of abandoned airfields in 2000’s video games. I’m glad to see you back this season and with a new muse. This song was so PoKi. I loved the spoken word radio host section – it had a lot of personality and helped set the tone of the song. You’re always unabashedly yourself in this competition, and there’s a lot to love about that. While the amount of personality in the song is often a good thing, there are times where your lyrics become so hyper-specific that they’re hard to relate to, such as in the spoken post-chorus or the lyric “I wanna make my dough as a talk show host”. I love the amount of personality you show, but it’s a bit jarring to see “PoKiTaurus, bro” in the middle of your song. Elsewhere, I think you captured the desert, wild west theme well, such as “I walk by, they tell me ‘howdy boy!’”. Regardless, I love that you constantly craft such authentic fun songs, and I’m excited to see even more from you this season.

 

@blackoutbaby – Paris ***** 

You say this song takes a few reads to get, but I thought it was a pretty instant smash. Right off the bat you hit us with “My body’s like The Louvre/It’s a ******* work of art” – being completely honest, I love the brashness of this. I could see this song kicking off with heavy synths and drums, matching the sensuality of the lyrics. Much like Antikythera’s entry, I think the repeated words worked here because they specifically related to the challenge, and the repeated “oui oui” brought a campiness to the lyrics. If anything, I think you could have taken the lyrics farther in a couple places. I liked the Eiffel Tower reference, but I think it could have been slutted up a bit more by making reference to the sex position of the same name. You also mentioned “like a fire/light your fire” a couple times – rather than repeating lines an a fairly short song, I would have loved to see another double-entendre. “Lick me slow like escargot” honestly has to be a contender for line of the season already, absolutely fabulous work there. I also laughed at the random Lady Marmalade sample at the end. This was such a fun song to read, and I could feel that you had a blast writing it. I’d love to see other sides of you in future weeks, but this was a great first entry.

 

@Invisibility – Corchito 

Welcome back! Apologies if I’m misremembering, but I believe you started playing in GH3 when I was on hiatus, so I don’t think I’ve read your writing before, but this is an excellent first entry! The words you use are extremely vivid – I can practically see myself diving into a cenote and see the light twisting through green and blue waters as salt and freshwater mix. I love the fresh-salt sea simile you used and how you connected the setting of the song with yourself. The specific imagery of the mangroves, the blurred waterline, and open airways allowed me not only see what you’re describing, but feel the air leave my lungs and water hit my skin. There were a few lyrics that felt out of place to me, most prominently the “Mach 2” line, which didn’t fit the vibe of the rest of the song. Otherwise, this was one of my favorite songs this round, and I’m excited to see your future entries!

 

@fountain – The Square 

Welcome back, and welcome to your first season of Golden Hit as a contestant! I already made this point in hurricane’s review, but “strife” is almost always a forced rhyme, and this song is no exception. There were a couple other lines that felt forced to fit the rhyme scheme as well, such as “a childhood filled with lack”. I wanted to get a couple small criticisms out of the way, because otherwise I thought this was a lovely song. I loved the experimentation with structure – despite the “lack” line, the rhyme scheme of that verse was very engaging. I like the way the rhythm wasn’t consistent throughout the song, echoing the changing emotions from childlike innocence to feeling stuck as an adult. Apart from the hook 3, the bridge was my favorite part of the song. I think a lot of us can relate to the fear instilled within us, being told that you can’t leave the place you are because the rest of the world is terrifying and terrible, continuing a cycle of fear. I could go through the rest of the lyrics and mention all the little things I love, but I would be mentioning most of the song. I’ve been excited to see your writing this season, and this song just makes me even more eager to see what else you come up with!

thank you so much

 

the victoria reference is to lake victoria, which is the " chief reservoir of the Nile" mentioned a few lines before 

[blackoutbaby]

I was so proud of the lick me slow like escargot line. I’m so glad you liked it @Jackson