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Am I wasting time with this boy?


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Posted

Ask him what he wants? If he just wants to be friends then it's up to you but from personal experience it's HELL to try to stay as friend with someone you have feelings for.

 

If he cannot give you a proper answer then keep your distance and keep living your life until he makes up his mind.

Posted

i'm surprised you've not had the 'what are we' conversation with him as this has been going on since April :rip: but anyway, it sounds like he's wasting your time, especially if you want something more. i think you should just move on with your life

Posted

Just communicate! 

 

There are people I know who stopped advances because they're insecure about their body (scars etc) or themselves, some are just truly not ready yet. If that's the case, you need to tell him it's okay to be vulnerable.

Posted
On 10/19/2023 at 12:11 PM, stupidjock said:

he wants you around but he doesn't want to be with you

 

original_lifeline

:cm:

Posted

Re-read what you wrote. The answer is there. He’s not that into you. You’re a time filler for him. Move on. 

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Is he closeted?

Maybe he feels some slight shame about being sexual towards so he tries to avoid it, but lust gets in the way.

 

Posted
On 10/19/2023 at 1:55 PM, Cloudy said:

So I met this boy on 'certain app' and we had a couple of first "encounters" back in April and we've been hanging out since then, but after that it stopped, not because we stopped talking or anything, we talked pretty often during the week and we had similar interests, but everytime I tried to make an advance like kissing him or trying to have sex he would very awkwardly stop it (we haven't had sex since then)

 

Then I thought well maybe he just wants to be friends, but then suddenly in August he started to be more involved and even booked for us to get a massage at the same time before he had to go visit his family for a month. So at that date after the massage the girls of the establishment left us alone in the room to dress up and relax, the atmosphere was very sensual needless to say and while I was cleaning up myself from the oil they used he came from behind grabbed my hips and tongued kiss me, hugged me and kissed my shoulder. Neither of us said a word and he was very clearly hard as so was I.

 

So he leaves for a month and we keep in touch, however we never talked about what happened. When he comes back I was very excited to see him again, but the vibe became weird and he doesn't make any advances or reacts to mine. So here we are and I'm really torn and confused because I don't know what to do or say? Should I just be direct and ask him if he likes me and wants something more than friends?

Pro tip: if a guy does not directly communicate (at least after a few months of dating & not too soon-- that's also a disaster) that he wants to be in a romantic relationship with you, trust and believe this guy is just into hooking up, is looking for a romantic relationship with someone else, or they are confused about what they actually want. 

 

Usually, it's the latter. A lot of people say they want a romantic relationship, but they don't want to give it the time it takes to properly know someone and their interests. A lot of gays (and not saying this guy 100% falls into this category) are looking to get a boyfriend by tomorrow and have some serious anxious-attachment styles. Also, men are/were taught to suppress emotions, being gay is not widely accepted in every state, and being out in public (and engaging in public PDA) can be enough to inspire closet cases to stay in the closet. It can be difficult too if both parties live at home and/or don't drive. So it makes it harder to have a more honest and mature relationship-- not saying living independently is a requirement, but if I were still dating, I would make sure my partner could 100% take care of themselves (mentally/physically/emotionally) since I would be spending a LOT of time with that person. 

 

Also, the fact he avoided your advances and didn't talk about making out with you. Any person interested in you would say, "Hey, I really like X. We should do it again." 

Posted

too hot and cold .. I feel leave it in the past.  a Hot & Cold boy is legit the worse and they never change.

Posted

yes

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