discussion Is It Immoral To Buy Sex?

[The Man Who]

2 minutes ago, GraceRandolph said:

You are using your friends experience as a sex worker to justify sex buying when he is one of the more privileged in the sex trade with employment options, enjoyment in his work, and a client base that likely doesn’t have a physical upper hand over him. 

No I’m not? I’ve already listed reasons people may pay for sex before I brought my friend up. You keep bringing up things that weren’t mentioned in your OP and then choosing to ignore when people ask you to clarify what you’re talking about. 
 

Is paying for sex from somebody who is being trafficked wrong? YES! Is two consensual adults exchanging sex for money wrong? NO. It’s that simple. You keep overcomplicating it by bringing up worst case scenarios that had nothing to do with your original question in this thread.  

[GraceRandolph]

Just now, The Man Who said:

No I’m not? I’ve already listed reasons people may pay for sex before I brought my friend up. You keep bringing up things that weren’t mentioned in your OP and then choosing to ignore when people ask you to clarify what you’re talking about. 
 

Is paying for sex from somebody who is being trafficked wrong? YES! Is two consensual adults exchanging sex for money wrong? NO. It’s that simple. You keep overcomplicating it by bringing up worst case scenarios that had nothing to do with your original question in this thread.  

Those “worst case scenarios” aren’t some rare occurrence. They are the conditions under which most “money exchange sex” has occurred over the history of the sex trade. 

[spree]

18 minutes ago, GraceRandolph said:

Morality is found in many philosophies across the globe. Let’s not assume having morals is necessarily religious. We can have secular morals as well. 

I'm just saying not everyone's view of what is right or wrong are the same.

 

to answer the question, is it immoral to buy sex? Of course not.  It's a service.  It's a need, it's a want, just like other purchases we make.  It's a transaction.  One and done.

[GraceRandolph]

4 minutes ago, spree said:

I'm just saying not everyone's view of what is right or wrong are the same.

 

to answer the question, is it immoral to buy sex? Of course not.  It's a service.  It's a need, it's a want, just like other purchases we make.  It's a transaction.  One and done.

So if someone can’t afford to pay for sex what happens to their need? Can they just have sex with anyone?

[The Man Who]

4 minutes ago, GraceRandolph said:

Those “worst case scenarios” aren’t some rare occurrence. They are the conditions under which most “money exchange sex” has occurred over the history of the sex trade. 

Nobody has tried to dispute the fact that there’s a bad side to the sex industry, such as trafficking and I don’t think anybody in here is trying to justify that but there’s also people who have sex for money and it’s done consensually. The world has changed a lot and it’s not always some poor defenceless woman and her pimp, which is just an extremely black and white / backwards way to view sex work. 

You said in your OP that you don’t understand why people would pay for sex, but when we try to give you scenarios where both parties have came to a mutual agreement, you shut it down by bringing up people who are literal sex slaves. 
 

Paying for sex from somebody who is willingly selling it and paying for sex from somebody who is being forced to sell it are not the same thing. But it seems like you view them as one in the same which is why I can’t take you seriously when you say that you know we should try not to stigmatise sex workers as that’s all you’ve done throughout this thread. You even referred to my friend as having a ‘kink’ because he’s willing to have no strings attached sex / dates with people for cash. 
 

You can’t fathom why somebody would sell or pay for sex and it’s abundantly clear. 

[spree]

2 minutes ago, GraceRandolph said:

So if someone can’t afford to pay for sex what happens to their need? Can they just have sex with anyone?

sure, go on Grindr. 

[GraceRandolph]

1 minute ago, spree said:

sure, go on Grindr. 

Human need are food, shelter, water etc. Sex is not a need. Masturbation is free. 

[GraceRandolph]

4 minutes ago, The Man Who said:

Nobody has tried to dispute the fact that there’s a bad side to the sex industry, such as trafficking and I don’t think anybody in here is trying to justify that but there’s also people who have sex for money and it’s done consensually. The world has changed a lot and it’s not always some poor defenceless woman and her pimp, which is just an extremely black and white / backwards way to view sex work. 

You said in your OP that you don’t understand why people would pay for sex, but when we try to give you scenarios where both parties have came to a mutual agreement, you shut it down by bringing up people who are literal sex slaves. 
 

Paying for sex from somebody who is willingly selling it and paying for sex from somebody who is being forced to sell it are not the same thing. But it seems like you view them as one in the same which is why I can’t take you seriously when you say that you know we should try not to stigmatise sex workers as that’s all you’ve done throughout this thread. You even referred to my friend as having a ‘kink’ because he’s willing to have no strings attached sex / dates with people for cash. 
 

You can’t fathom why somebody would sell or pay for sex and it’s abundantly clear. 

There’s also a lot of grey areas in the sex trade that aren’t being acknowledged by users in this thread. 

[babyboy1]

2 hours ago, GraceRandolph said:

I’m talking about sex BUYERS. Why do you want to have sex with someone who doesn’t have any interest in you aside from money? Even a sugar arrangement seems more ethical. 

Because that's the only way a ugly person can fulfill his wish of banging a hot person

[Orsay]

Actually men should be required to pay for sex 

[Dr. Alexander]

The discussion we need to be having is how can most men have sex with random people - paid for or not. That’s what is strange. No love, no special feelings, but just…horny-ness 

[Namie-Knowles]

This whole thread is a hoot. It's people forcing their own morals and feelings onto something that in an objective sense has no actual "meaning" or "value". These concepts and values surrounding terms such as immoral, abstinence, sex-work, sex with randoms none of these things actually have some grounded consensus when you zoom out. And it's people like OP and the poster above me that end up in positions of power who then feel upset about something that in actuality isn't a big deal and make both legal repercussions and powerful social stigmas which screw innocent people over in the long run. This desire for control over others bodies is so insane.

 

If someone wants to have consensual sex with multiple people they barely know, it doesn't matter what YOU would do. Leave them alone. 

 

If someone wishes to engage in sex work or anything adjacent to that out off their own complete free will, it doesn't matter what YOU would do. Leave them alone.

 

It literally is that simple. 

Edited October 11, 2023 by Namie-Knowles

[Sabrina Carpenter]

no but it makes you a big loser

[aesthetic bih]

At face value, yeah it is. However, in real life, it's a gray area, so it really depends on the circumstances

 

[Communion]

As a Marxist, there is a deep *personal* discomfort around the idea of commodifying the body, but:

• Morality is not the correct word here; I think it's fair to say men who buy sex from women *aim* to exploit them;
• As a man, I don't believe I'm equipped to speak for or on how women in response try to reconcile with this systematic exploitation or if they feel empowered in trying to come to terms with it;
• I don't think sex work between cis men in the Western world is an effective point of reference to the level of exploitation and commodification that can occur within sex work at large;
• All I can think of doing is listen to women sex workers, who largely are in consensus that criminalization and laws like SESTA/FOSTA harm them;

[jezebelvictoria]

I try my hardest not to judge those who engage in buying or selling sex but I personally could never do it and I wouldn’t want to be with someone who has either sold or bought sex. But I’m not going to say anything rude or be judgmental towards someone who has. 

[jediah556]

2 hours ago, Inner Beauty said:

If we're talking about actual physical sex work in the real world - of the estimated 40+ million prostitutes in the world, 75% are between the ages of 13 and 25. Many of whom are literal children, or extremely young adults, who have been coerced into the sex trade either by literal physical force, or by coercive economic conditions. The men who buy sex from these prostitutes, who comprise the vast majority of transactions in which sex is bought, are acting in a very predatory manner, too, are they not?

 

There's this very sunshine and rainbows conception of sex work that liberals seem to have that is very out of touch with the actual reality of the sex trade and prostitution. The arguments in favor of sex buying tend to decontextualize how the vast majority of people in the sex trade are pressured into it by economic and social forces and have no way to exit, in favor of focusing all their attention on the very small minority of sex workers who by virtue of their class privilege are free to stop at any time.

 

To quote an actual former prostitute:

"As a prostitute that was raped well over the amounts of times I can count on my two hands, I can clearly explain how I both experienced rape and how none of the sex I had as a prostitute was truly consensual because of the conditions which forced me to enter and trapped me in prostitution. Prostitution thrives off vulnerability. The buyer knows this, and therefore uses his money to coerce women in vulnerable social and economic positions to get off. That is why prostitution, like other forms of rape, is not just about sex or money but about power."

do you understand that the term "liberal" has no meaningful addition to this conversation btw, this wasn't political 

[jediah556]

2 hours ago, GraceRandolph said:

There’s also a lot of grey areas in the sex trade that aren’t being acknowledged by users in this thread. 

everyone here has acknowledged it babes you just can't read

[Afterglow]

It is completely moral and there is nothing wrong in selling it.

[MonsterTown]

sex workes guarantee you a good night...they are not going to call you after that night.. they are not going to cancel you...you don't have to date them and waste time doing all that chat call,date, drinks etc to have a lil quick sex night...they are workers. you pay for sex...some people don't have time to do all the previous steps to find someone... sex workers want the money, and they do a good job so you go again... and the buyer wants easy sex, so they pay. 

[Mr. Mendes]

I don’t really see how it’s mine or anyone else’s business to pass judgement on what two consenting adults do with each other. If a grown individual wants to sell sex, then a grown individual can buy it. 

[JonginBey]

Men are whores. 

[GraceRandolph]

25 minutes ago, DockDock said:

sex workes guarantee you a good night...they are not going to call you after that night.. they are not going to cancel you...you don't have to date them and waste time doing all that chat call,date, drinks etc to have a lil quick sex night...they are workers. you pay for sex...some people don't have time to do all the previous steps to find someone... sex workers want the money, and they do a good job so you go again... and the buyer wants easy sex, so they pay. 

I think this is a one dimensional view of all that is now under the sex worker umbrella. As @The Man Who discussed, some buyers want more of a boyfriend experience, or don't want any sex at all, but rather companionship, others are saying sex work is there for people who are uncomfortable to share fantasies with partners, and some are arguing that sex workers are needed for unattractive or socially awkward people to use since they have difficulties getting partners. It seems like people are expecting sex workers to do A LOT beyond a night of good sex.

[ICLDXU4HS]

Is it immoral to promise to a starving homeless person you'll buy them a hamburger if they suck your dick? 

 

[Hitchhiker]

Yes.