discussion Is It Normal To Be Annoyed With People This Much?

[jesus del rey]

I, 24, used to feel the same way and being around people would drain me so fast I'd get sleepy after like a 20 mins of conversation. Then I stopped talking with a lot of people during this summer and just listened to silence, read some books and watched some movies I loved. I went back to talking with my friends a few weeks ago and I feel like I have a more genuine connection with most of them now. 

[Anthinos]

I'm an introvert and I've always had issues around people. There was a time when I did feel very lonely and craved for social interactions. The older I get though the more I accept and even like my situation. I like being alone. I don't like our society. I don't hate everyone but I do get annoyed when I have to socialize for too long. I also hate shallow smalltalk and relationships. 

[zasderfght]

18 hours ago, GraceRandolph said:

I feel like at work, in family situations, and socializing in general I am always annoyed at people. I just find myself enjoying being around others less and less. I also feel like for whatever reason my interests and topics of conversation have drifted from other people. I am normally pretty introverted but I find myself talking poorly about others when I do socialize and I feel like I’m turning into a person I don’t want to be. 

I believe in another post, you mentioned wanting to branch out and make new friends. If I got that post wrong, please correct me. 

 

Obviously, no one knows how you interact with people, what kind of conversations you initiate or partake in, and how openly you communicate with others. 

 

What I would ask is... what do you expect to get out of these conversations? Is it perhaps that your interests don't mesh with other people's? Are you expecting too much out of people? Conversely, are your standards too low, so you expect too little out of people? 

 

If I had to assume, I'm assuming you want to be less annoyed by people. Part of that, I can tell you, involves perspective-shifting and setting boundaries-- not only with others but for yourself. 

 

If you notice yourself getting annoyed by a conversation, you could say "To be honest, I don't know much about (insert topic here). Can we talk about horror movies? I love them! I actually went to see Saw X with my girlfriends, and we all loved it. Do you go see horror movies?" Rather than allowing this person (or conversation) to exist rent-free in your head. 

 

If you are more naturally introverted, there is nothing wrong with that, but we are social creatures and wired for social connection. Without that, you can find yourself into a major depression, and that is not a route you want to go down. I actually lost a best friend to bad depression, and it was not pretty to witness at all. And believe me, as someone who also has depression, I can sympathize, but when you (not you-- but my former best friend) neglect your self-care that badly, I cannot help. That requires some serious professional help. 

 

I know I pivoted a bit, but do you have some sort of accredited therapist you can talk to about this? It sounds like you might be depressed (but none of us here can diagnose you!), and maybe with some type of therapy (and whether that involves meds or not is a separate conversation), you'll return back to your "normal" self

[HausofNick]

22 hours ago, Archetype said:

This is how most, if not all, adult introverts feel.  People are really annoying and you'd rather spend time alone doing things you actually like than putting yourself in the middle of a human circus to appease everyone except yourself.  

wow this really hit home lol

[Revolution]

Yes, most people are corny trash and smiling slaves without an iota of genuine personality. 

 

But some are decent and I focus on them 

[Archetype]

12 hours ago, zasderfght said:

If you are more naturally introverted, there is nothing wrong with that, but we are social creatures and wired for social connection. Without that, you can find yourself into a major depression, and that is not a route you want to go down. I actually lost a best friend to bad depression, and it was not pretty to witness at all. And believe me, as someone who also has depression, I can sympathize, but when you (not you-- but my former best friend) neglect your self-care that badly, I cannot help. That requires some serious professional help. 

 

I know I pivoted a bit, but do you have some sort of accredited therapist you can talk to about this? It sounds like you might be depressed (but none of us here can diagnose you!), and maybe with some type of therapy (and whether that involves meds or not is a separate conversation), you'll return back to your "normal" self

I know you mean the best with your post, but a lot of this is incorrect when regarding introversion.  People can be both depressed AND introverted, but being introverted does NOT mean you are depressed, or that introversion is the cause of depression.  The thoughts and feelings the OP is having are actually quite normal for introverts as they age, it doesn’t mean they are depressed.  It just means that they need to be more protective of their time and find a new outlook on the types of relationships they want to have with others.  As I said in my other post, being social shouldn’t feel like work.  Part of this is educating your existing friends about how you think and your needs, and another might be seeing a therapist (which you mentioned) if there are other issues that the OP might want to talk about.  

[zasderfght]

14 hours ago, Archetype said:

I know you mean the best with your post, but a lot of this is incorrect when regarding introversion.  People can be both depressed AND introverted, but being introverted does NOT mean you are depressed, or that introversion is the cause of depression.  The thoughts and feelings the OP is having are actually quite normal for introverts as they age, it doesn’t mean they are depressed.  It just means that they need to be more protective of their time and find a new outlook on the types of relationships they want to have with others.  As I said in my other post, being social shouldn’t feel like work.  Part of this is educating your existing friends about how you think and your needs, and another might be seeing a therapist (which you mentioned) if there are other issues that the OP might want to talk about.  

I'm sorry if my wording made it seem like I said that introversion was the cause of depression. Being an introvert is who you are. You need time alone to recharge. It doesn't mean you dislike being around people-- it means you enjoy your social time, but at some point, your social battery runs out and in order to re-charge (let's say you're talking to another group of people at an event or you're going to work), you might need to put your headphones in on the subway, listen to tunes in the car, go for a walk, etc. 

 

I will say OP doesn't sound like he is just going through the aging process and naturally will have selective friends that fit his emotional/social needs, but he also seems to have a very pessimistic outlook on just any type of social interaction. When you are no longer enjoying things you once enjoyed, that could be indicative of depression-- whether you are introverted, ambiverted, or extroverted. 

 

I'm saying OP should probably talk to a talk therapist about what he's feeling because even though we're all trying to help OP, he probably requires professional help from people who work on interpersonal relationships/dating, boundary-setting, perspective-shifting, improving self-talk, tapering expectations, etc. 

 

Hopefully me explaining my take makes more sense. Thank you for reaching out. 

Edited October 5, 2023 by zasderfght

[G.U.Y_Del_Rey]

It's annoying when they make assumptions about you without knowing you well, or try to feel like they're more than you, I think they get a dopamine rush from doing that. Also, they can be so shallow.

Edited October 5, 2023 by G.U.Y_Del_Rey