discussion Is Anyone Else Tired Of Being Themselves?

[GraceRandolph]

I’m so tired of being myself. I feel like my whole life my personality never connected with others easily and my innate interests were at odds with those around me. I started getting less interested in pop culture by the time I was like 13, and now that I’m older I feel as though making friends or forming relationships is such a struggle. I’m gay, vegan, and an introvert and struggle so much to “fit in” for lack of a better word, and feel awkward in most scenarios to the point that I don’t put myself out there. I don’t know what to do short of changing everything about who I am. 

[Sheep]

I can't relate and don't really have any good advice other than trying to meet new people but sending healing vibes. There's a place for everybody. 

Edited September 22, 2023 by Century

[Devin]

Being yourself > fit into whats popular

Sucks at first but in the long run u will be more respected and happier vs someone chasing a popular aesthetic. Most ppl I know who chase end up struggling (mentally) and pay closer attention to ppl like u to evaluate why ur happy and doing well. 
 

Advice: Give yourself time and surround yourself around more original ppl and hobbies. 

Edited September 22, 2023 by Devin

[Zylo]

It’s felt particularly brutal for introverts post pandemic, but I can’t explain why. 
 

Some advice from an INFJ who’s been there:

So you’ve got two choices here. One: Be a shifting, palatable chameleon to achieve whatever it is you desire more easily, though understand there is a chance you’ll be left with a crater inside because you won’t feel authentic or from a lack expressing your true individuality.

 

Two: Strap your boots up and go fullsend with being yourself, regardless of how cringe or hard it feels. Have fun with being awkward or different, feed yourself that self expression you’ve been hiding. The reward here is that you will naturally attract those who are looking for people like you; your tribe. 
 

Many people feel lonely, but how are you meant to be seen if you never show yourself out of fear? Those that like you will have a hard time finding or reaching out to you, because how could they? Lose the mindset of feeling awkward as best you can. Everyone’s awkward or a little weird, and the rest have the personality of whole grain bread—so lose that worry. Future you will thank you.

[Mornings]

I started learning how to be myself in the past few years after getting sober. It's an extremely frustrating and eye opening process, however trying to be someone else my whole life was really ruining it and everything that I touched. And breaking that pattern of parroting whatever thought was going to make life easier for me is really difficult to do. Most of that came from being in the closet until I was 23 and growing up in a part of the Appalachian southern america that is extremely hostile towards gay people. If I could give any advice is no not criticize yourself. practice radical acceptance of your situation and really let yourself feel your feelings without shaming yourself or diagnosing yourself as a way of explaining what is "wrong." leave that to the professionals. 

[Bubble Tea]

I don't like the ideology that you "are" who you are and that it's fixed, and that your "true being" is inside of you. I think there's for sure some core genetic traits, but moreso we are shaped by our environments, culture and what we consume (food and content wise). I think we can change, shape ourselves, morph and snap into whatever we want to be (to a reasonable extent). Our "personalities" aren't necessarily our real selves, they're just patterns we've repeated so much they've become our behaviour.

 

There's nothing physically stopping an introvert from being extroverted beyond anxiety, but if you consider yourself one way that's how you're going to act.

[Dula Peep]

22 minutes ago, Tropical said:

I don't like the ideology that you "are" who you are and that it's fixed, and that your "true being" is inside of you. I think there's for sure some core genetic traits, but moreso we are shaped by our environments, culture and what we consume (food and content wise). I think we can change, shape ourselves, morph and snap into whatever we want to be (to a reasonable extent). Our "personalities" aren't necessarily our real selves, they're just patterns we've repeated so much they've become our behaviour.

 

There's nothing physically stopping an introvert from being extroverted beyond anxiety, but if you consider yourself one way that's how you're going to act.

This.  Be who you want to be.

[Jotham]

No, I'm the only one of me and that's the fun of me

[Cain]

‘Giving in’ to being myself is what made me prosper. I’ve never had as many friends and lack of anxiety as rn because I fully embraced being myself

[Alldeezy]

Yes I feel the exact same.

 

Im an outkast in real life, online even on atrl. I struggle to make friends, and I hate how I am because I suffer bpd and austric so ill never be or feel normal.

Like at this point I'd love to be a completely different person but honestly I'm the same person I've been my entire life.

 

I just learn to live with it really im just doing everything alone. Going to concerts alone. Anything really.

I've had many relationships but decided to stop dating bc they never last and focus on me.

 

I feel the best is just be yourself and take care of you.  And **** what anyone else thinks.  That's only advice I can give. 

[Onyxmage]

Life truly sucks I don’t know what else to say.

[Xtina23]

Nope, I'm AMAZING!!! Feel yourself bby! You're on this planet for a reason!!

 

I-I-I-I-I am the future, put it on you like a hurricane
Call me the supernova that's taking over all time and space
I'm testing your dimension, can't keep up with what I create
I'll break your concentration, imagination with what I make
Many times imitated, not duplicated, can't be replaced
Na-na-now, let me spell it out, everybody come shout my name
X-X-X-T-T-T-I-I-I-N-N-N-A (23)
X-X-X-T-T-T-I-I-I-N-N-N-A-(23)-A-A-(23)

[Jack!]

As I've got older I've grown way more comfortable with who I am and who I want to be as a person. And I think that comes with detriments. I'm definitely less open to new friendships and won't exhaust my social battery for many people other that who I now consider my close-knit group of friends. But I don't necessarily care to extend anymore branches of myself, at least not right now. I'm sure that will change in the future. I'm growing more confident with my looks, my fashion sense, it's not like I'm 100% self confident (I don't think anyone really is) but I can feel myself getting over things I used to really care about only like 2 years ago.

 

However, irrespective of this, I think I'll probably always fear and panic about the process of being a queer person in public. Especially living where I live. But I would never want to change the queer aspects about myself, I just wish outside people looking in didn't care so much about being irate to someone who they thinks looks gay walking down the street next to them. But, I've managed to somewhat put those thoughts to the back of my mind, especially when I'm surrounded by a lot of good people in my life.

 

The answer to feeling more comfortable in your skin doesn't exist, but I'm sure someday soon you'll rid yourself of these feelings and not worry about this so much.

[Ruby]

Yes, I fantasize a lot about living a different life. I'm 19 and over this one already  

[feelslikeadream]

"I'm so tired of being the girl that I am." — Olivia Rodrigo, me, and OP

 

[Vixen Eyes]

to be truthfully honest, im just tired of living. nothing in my life is going good or bad. like, there are zero things happening in my life.

[G.U.Y_Del_Rey]

Edited September 23, 2023 by G.U.Y_Del_Rey

[Chaos Angel]

I emphasize greatly and know what that feels like. It can be hard to find your place in virtue with a community when your interests are different than the crowd.

 

We can't control what interests we naturally gravitate towards, but what we can do is change our outlook and intention. While it's good to embrace what's different about us, it's also good to embrace what we have in common. It's a balance, all humans have things they have in common with each other, and things that differ from each other. Unfortunately, primarily focusing on what's different about us can go too far, to the point where we only notice things we don't have in common with others, and turn a blind eye to what we do have in common. I'm sure you can find several things you have in common with the community you are attempting to integrate yourself in. It may be harder for you than others, but that doesn't mean it's not possible. Besides, doesn't that make for an interesting journey anyways? You know what makes you unique, and you can use that to your advantage when integrating yourself. If you respect yourself and your uniqueness, others will see that and respect you. And respect others to. Perhaps they are on the opposite side of the coin, where they've been so intertwined with others around them but haven't found that sense of individuality yet. You can cross paths with someone like this, and positively benefit each others lives, and learn new things from them. It's all about perspective.

 

There's a sweet spot where we can embrace our individuality and still be our authentic selves, but also be humble enough to see that we as humans must still find communities with others around us and enjoy doing so.

[WEEKND]

Of course not 💀 

I'm not better than anyone but nobody is better than me. 

 

I'm smart, cute, got a fat 🍑, a big 🍆 and Im funny af. 

 

Love yourself. if u don't know how, no one will. 

[elevate]

It's the introvert part. You haven't found people who appreciate you for who you are yet. It took me... literally almost 20 years, lol, and then I realised "oh, right, so this is actually what feeling alive is like". Anyway, I hope you find that soon.

[SweetTalker]

Not at all   But hopefully you feel better soon  if you’re not happy then sure go ahead and try new things as long as you feel comfortable and genuinely notice a positive change in your life. 
 

and in the most respectful way possible, I wouldn’t say leave it as a last resort, but definitely consider therapy if nothing and you still feel the way that you feel. I feel that therapy still has a not so positive stigma, specially around older and older-ish people, but it’s literally just a licensed doctor helping you navigate thru life 

[Pop Life]

12 hours ago, Tropical said:

There's nothing physically stopping an introvert from being extroverted beyond anxiety, but if you consider yourself one way that's how you're going to act.

There's a great message and alot of truth to most of your comment, but the part in bold is kind of misguided.

 

What you are describing is closer to shyness. Many introverts may also be shy, but the two characteristics are different. While a shy person avoids social situations out of anxiety or discomfort, an introvert simply has a strong preference for quieter or more solitary situations as a personality trait. 

 

As for nothing physically stopping introverts from being extroverted, a growing number of scientific studies have emerged in recent years showing that introverts are in fact born with brains that are both physically and chemically different from their more extroverted peers. Among other things: their brains contain more gray matter, are more sensitive to chemicals like dopamine, and they utilize different neural pathways compared to the brains of extroverted people. Most introverts can play the part of the extrovert for awhile, but ultimately they are quite literally built different.

 

There's a few articles on the subject floating around, but this one is a decent digest of the differences and what they mean.

 

https://introvertdear.com/news/introverts-and-extroverts-brains-really-are-different-according-to-science/

 

tl;dr, introverts are literally built different and it's completely natural. There's nothing wrong with it.

Edited September 23, 2023 by Pop Life

[DamianSolo]

No, I love being myself. And I, especially, love the person I've grown and am growing into. I'm constantly evolving as a person, with my skills, experiences, interests and likes expanding and shifting. I truly feel like I've been coming into my own as a person. And, with that, I feel like the right people are gravitating towards me because of that. I've always been the type to naturally defy stereotypes, just being myself, and people never really knew how to take me because of that. I'm this, but I'm also that. It's about finding your tribe, so to speak, by simply being who you are.

 

I tried fitting in when I was younger, up to several years ago, and that's when I was most miserable—because I wasn't being true to myself. You have so many people doing that well into adulthood, pretending to be something they're not for one reason or another. For me, it was mainly watering myself down so I'd be more digestible. But now...

 

 

The best advice I can give to you is find what makes your spirit come to life and embrace it all with everything within you. Truly find out who you are as a person, first and foremost, and just go from there with life. Things will fall into place for you from there. It's important to just let yourself be and grow.

 

 

[KatyPrismSpirit]

 you need to fully embrace and accept who you are in order to continue. that's life

[mylicious]

change is the only constant, everything is fluent, we also change who we are constantly, so maybe you answered that with your last sentence already … 

 

change is a part of who we are

Edited September 23, 2023 by mylicious