mercurialworld Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 Hi! So randomly today my friends starting degrading me because they don't think my LinkedIn is professional, specifically the photo of me on it. Their issue was that I am apparently 1. catfishing (photo is old, I work remote so I don't care) and 2. I am lying about my current position (I am working a part-time contract position with a prestigious company). One of them berated me and repeatedly implied that I was lying about this position, and I told him I don't need to prove anything to him. He told me "Good luck finding a real job" and his gf/my actual bestie told us to stop fighting, which I was not anyway, she messaged me in private and told me it was tough love, which I'm more inclined it's calling me a liar and whatever. This actually made me cry and start shaking in anger as I worked my ass off for this while still in university and to be discredited by my "best" "friends" is not ******* cute. Am I doing myself a disservice to myself? Should I try to make him apologize? Would you drop your best friend for 11 years for this reason? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercurialworld Posted September 21, 2023 Author Share Posted September 21, 2023 Not the kind of thing I wanted to go through while sleeping on average 5 hours a day this week but wtv 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImsoLOUD Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 No, I don't think it's that serious. I would just stop all conversations about the LinkedIN profile, as it really doesn't matter what they think about it. Plenty of people use old photos and exaggerate their work experience to get ahead. If they continue to berate you about this however, then you might need to drop them. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercurialworld Posted September 21, 2023 Author Share Posted September 21, 2023 (edited) 6 minutes ago, ImsoLOUD said: No, I don't think it's that serious. I would just stop all conversations about the LinkedIN profile, as it really doesn't matter what they think about it. Plenty of people use old photos and exaggerate their work experience to get ahead. If they continue to berate you about this however, then you might need to drop them. yeah, the linkedin thing is really unserious idgaf. I do gaf when those I love berate me and demean my successes when I have genuinely worked so ******* hard for this. That is my reasoning behind my consideration! Also this isn't the first time they've denied everything about my position. Edited September 21, 2023 by mercurialworld Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symmetra Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 Tell them to mind their business or get their jaws broke. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glitch Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Have you guys just started working? When I was in the last year of uni and for a few months after we all got jobs/were figuring stuff out, things were very awkward in some ways. People are a bit judgemental about what jobs everyone ends up getting and it can cause conflict. After a while though it all settles down when everyone realises it doesn't really matter. So no I wouldn't cut them off, but maybe explain to him how what he's said has upset you and ask him to be more respectful of your feelings in future. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magazine Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 (edited) Have a backup plan first. You never know. Get 2 news besties first before doing anything else. But you NEVER share Linkedin with friends! This was your first mistake Edited September 21, 2023 by magazine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappierJealousy Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 It’s depends on how cute and how rich they’re Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ninasayers Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 It's honestly a choice for this person to have been so persistent about his disdain for your LinkedIn, and being so mean about it. But I don't think you need to cut them off, at all. If they're good friends of yours, try and speak to them; let them know you were hurt by what they said, which I know is hard to do, but it's for the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercurialworld Posted September 21, 2023 Author Share Posted September 21, 2023 7 minutes ago, ninasayers said: It's honestly a choice for this person to have been so persistent about his disdain for your LinkedIn, and being so mean about it. But I don't think you need to cut them off, at all. If they're good friends of yours, try and speak to them; let them know you were hurt by what they said, which I know is hard to do, but it's for the best. you're right. my position is genuinely unbelievable for me and I didn't believe it at first. but discredit and disbelief is a fat line. blocked him on linkedin though so he doesn't have to see it (he seeks my profile at will LOL) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercurialworld Posted September 21, 2023 Author Share Posted September 21, 2023 17 minutes ago, glitch said: How old are you if you don't mind me asking? Have you guys just started working? When I was in the last year of uni and for a few months after we all got jobs/were figuring stuff out, things were very awkward in some ways. People are a bit judgemental about what jobs everyone ends up getting and it can cause conflict. After a while though it all settles down when everyone realises it doesn't really matter. So no I wouldn't cut them off, but maybe explain to him how what he's said has upset you and ask him to be more respectful of your feelings in future. 23, but still grinding. I have a year and a bit left I think! you're right though, one of them told me they genuinely didn't believe me which is so odd, idk why they resorted to acting like they way they did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Post Malone Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 I think you should communicate to them you were hurt by their comments and that they passed the fine line between advice/criticism to belittlement. Express your boundaries to them. It reads like a one-off issue and not something worth giving up your entire relationships with them over 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercurialworld Posted September 21, 2023 Author Share Posted September 21, 2023 I think im siding with just meeting up with them and explaining everything, but I am still curious as to what others think and will keep this up until further removal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EtherealCat Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 drop them over linkedin messages 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dessy Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 All this over LinkedIn of all things is ridiculous. I second just explaining how the interaction made you feel. There's a difference between merely suggesting that you update your profile and berating you/your whole profile, and they should understand that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercurialworld Posted September 21, 2023 Author Share Posted September 21, 2023 14 minutes ago, Dessy said: All this over LinkedIn of all things is ridiculous. I second just explaining how the interaction made you feel. There's a difference between merely suggesting that you update your profile and berating you/your whole profile, and they should understand that. thank you. I totally agree with that, I honestly just posted this in the heat of the moment but the interaction outside of "your linkedin is unprofessional" genuinely made me shake with anger so badly in the middle of class Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dula Peep Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 Literally everyone lies on their LinkedIn 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercurialworld Posted September 21, 2023 Author Share Posted September 21, 2023 1 minute ago, Dula Peep said: Literally everyone lies on their LinkedIn maybe, not me though lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinyshimmery Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 Unfortunately I think it's never a good idea to open yourself up to criticism by friends and/or family. They tend to be "too honest" sometimes that it ends up with someone getting their feelings hurt. I would just brush it off and carry on like nothing happened, it honestly sounds a bit like jealousy from your best friend's boyfriend. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
getBusy Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 The delivery was bad, but I think the intention was good. Don’t lie on LinkedIn unless it’s something they can’t find about (kind reminder that background checks are a thing). At the end of the day, how do YOU feel? If this is the first time this happens, address it with them and then move on. If it happened before, it may be time to say bye bye. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katamari Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 They know too much about you tbh. You might have to kill them and skip town idk good luck op! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercurialworld Posted September 21, 2023 Author Share Posted September 21, 2023 2 hours ago, getBusy said: The delivery was bad, but I think the intention was good. Don’t lie on LinkedIn unless it’s something they can’t find about (kind reminder that background checks are a thing). At the end of the day, how do YOU feel? If this is the first time this happens, address it with them and then move on. If it happened before, it may be time to say bye bye. right now i feel fine, the one who was interrogating me hasn’t said anything since but i know those words that he spewed aren’t even remotely true, so i don’t care. i thanked the other one for reaching out and being nice ❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xtina23 Posted September 21, 2023 Share Posted September 21, 2023 From my experience, it's all stemmed from jealousy. People want to be "on top" and want others to know of it. If you are doing good yourself, it may cause people to question, belittle, and or or hide it as "tough love", because your current position is not happening to them. Only you know your relationship with your besties. Moving forward, I would just keep more to myself, keep my head down, work hard and focus on what's best for oneself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DamianSolo Posted September 22, 2023 Share Posted September 22, 2023 I don't think so, no, from my perspective. I don't like having fake people around me and I always tell my friends to be upfront and honest about me no matter how brutal the truth is. That's all I see here. Just take their opinions for what they are, even acknowledging whatever truth may be there and move on from it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercurialworld Posted September 22, 2023 Author Share Posted September 22, 2023 so I have decided to not drop them. I can't help if people are insecure if that's the case here, and we are genuinely really close with one another. won't stop to ask how their real jobs are though every time I see them 😊 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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