discussion Dealing with a cancer diagnose for the second time - how to cope?

[Joyride]

Hello ATRL, these past couple of weeks have been kind hard on me, a lot of events led up to me getting a diagnose for an illness I sadly can't do anything about.

 

I am not mentally prepared to live with this diagnose and it very much feels like I'm running out of time, truth of the matter is, I am running out of time. the constant thought of death coming at me is very infuriating and traumatizing so I'm just asking for any advice if you've had this experience yourself or know anyone who has gone through multiple cancer diagnoses.

 

I've also decided, that since this is completely out of my hands, not to tell my family because I don't think I'm prepared to tell anyone other than strangers online. it's almost as if I've dissociated from this whole situation and I just want out.

[Cheers]

Sending you lots of love and hugs

 

You should tell your friends and family. Let them be your rock during these difficult moments. You will live a successful and happy life. Do all the things you want to do. Do not let this diagnosis stop you from enjoying being in the moment. Surround yourself with positivity, love, and joy. You deserve it!

[Distantconstellation]

What kind of cancer do u have it you don't mind me asking? My brother was diagnosed with glioblastoma (aggressive brain tumor) where there is only a 3% survival rate but turned out he had another rare braint tumor called MPNST. 

[elevate]

My grandma went through three separate cancer diagnoses and survived all three; went on to live to 93 with her health mostly intact. I understand your feeling of despair right now, though, and I wish you the best. 

[Joyride]

40 minutes ago, Distantconstellation said:

What kind of cancer do u have it you don't mind me asking? My brother was diagnosed with glioblastoma (aggressive brain tumor) where there is only a 3% survival rate but turned out he had another rare braint tumor called MPNST. 

intestinal cancer. this is my second diagnose, I was able to beat it the first time but it came back in less than a year.

[Domination]

I have no wisdom to share but sending you so much love, baby  I think you should tell your family though. Hiding it will only make whatever the journey ahead looks like miserable.

[Cyanide]

Please tell your friends and family. You deserve to have people there to hold you, love you, and be there for you. My family is like this too (keeping things hush hush) and it really hurts that people think they would be burdening their loved ones who just want the best for them. 
 

It’s hard to say “stay positive” in such a dark situation but at the very least you deserve to keep fighting and have your loved ones fighting alongside you.

[1000 forms of queer]

27 minutes ago, Joyride said:

intestinal cancer. this is my second diagnose, I was able to beat it the first time but it came back in less than a year.

what stage is your cancer if you don't mind me asking? any bad symptoms?

 

We are all born in this world to die (as Lana would say). Some people just live longer than others. Some kids don't even make it to teenagehood. Some people beat the odds. You just never know. All you can do is live your life and embrace whatever is going to happen to you. I think letting go in situations like this can give you closure. I'm not saying that you don't have any hope, I'm saying mentally you'll feel more at peace knowing that you can't fight the inevitable.

 

Don't be scared of death - think of death as something that happened before your birth - which is nothing. There's no pain, no anxiety, no fear, no existential crisis. And if you're religious, that's even better because heaven should be your next destination.

 

There are subreddit groups that are dedicated to supporting cancer patients, or people with terminal illnesses. You should check those out. 

 

[Bloodflowers.]

Sorry to hear that. I know a friend of mine who had cancer diagnosis that spread throughout his whole organ. He had to go through chemo and chained his whole diet (the type of food we put into our body is always the key for the most part to prevent and reduce spreading). He beat all odds and is still alive today. He was diagnosed 7 years ago and completely got rid of it 5 years ago. It's not the end, no matter how hard life gets, you have to get up and not accept defeat mentality! I wish you all the best and most positive outcomes, just don't give up!

[Dolce Vita]

please reach out to your loved ones, you need to lean on them as much as possible. my grandma didn’t want to burden our family with what she was going through until she was about to pass and nobody deserves to go through what you’re going through alone. sending so much love your way

[katara]

7 hours ago, Joyride said:

intestinal cancer. this is my second diagnose, I was able to beat it the first time but it came back in less than a year.

Large intestine? Can't they cut it out?

[Starfish]

Why did it come back though? 

[AvadaKedavra]

Oh darling. Sorry is not enough. Why people as beautiful as you go through this. Life sucks sometimes  I know u will be able to battle it again.  U can do it king.
Light and Hope. They will prevail. 

 

[Buffy]

@Joyride I’m sorry the cancer has returned and how discouraging that must feel. I just stopped everything and prayed for you. Life is short for all of us, but eternity is long. I don’t remember what your background is on faith, but God sees us all and cares deeply regardless of what our feelings tell us about that. Feelings are real but they’re not reliable and don’t always convey truth. No matter what, you’re not alone in this world. If strangers online care enough to reply to your thread and pray for you, I am sure your family cares even more. Don’t be discouraged to let your loved ones know.

 

I hope these verses comfort you. I encourage you to pray and invite God into your space. May he give you joy and peace that surpasses your own understanding even in difficult moments like this. I bolded and underlined parts I hope speaks to you.

 

Verse for overcoming death

Spoiler

God relates to our pain and death because he came down in the flesh once and experienced those things too. But he overcame the sting of death through resurrection - an example of what happens to us when we place our trust in Him.

 

“Because God’s children are human beings—made of flesh and blood—the Son (Jesus) also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had the power of death. Only in this way could he set free all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying. We also know that the Son did not come to help angels; he came to help the descendants of Abraham. Therefore, it was necessary for him to be made in every respect like us, his brothers and sisters, so that he could be our merciful and faithful High Priest before God. Then he could offer a sacrifice that would take away the sins of the people. Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭2‬:‭14‬-‭18‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Verse for comfort

Spoiler

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭1‬:‭3‬-‭7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Verse on praying

Spoiler

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Verse about heaven

Spoiler

“There are also bodies in the heavens and bodies on the earth. The glory of the heavenly bodies is different from the glory of the earthly bodies. It is the same way with the resurrection of the dead. Our earthly bodies are planted in the ground when we die, but they will be raised to live forever. Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength. They are buried as natural human bodies, but they will be raised as spiritual bodies. For just as there are natural bodies, there are also spiritual bodies. The Scriptures tell us, “The first man, Adam, became a living person.” But the last Adam—that is, Christ—is a life-giving Spirit. What comes first is the natural body, then the spiritual body comes later. Adam, the first man, was made from the dust of the earth, while Christ, the second man, came from heaven. Earthly people are like the earthly man, and heavenly people are like the heavenly man. Just as we are now like the earthly man, we will someday be like the heavenly man. What I am saying, dear brothers and sisters, is that our physical bodies cannot inherit the Kingdom of God. These dying bodies cannot inherit what will last forever. But let me reveal to you a wonderful secret. We will not all die, but we will all be transformed! It will happen in a moment, in the blink of an eye, when the last trumpet is blown. For when the trumpet sounds, those who have died will be raised to live forever. And we who are living will also be transformed. For our dying bodies must be transformed into bodies that will never die; our mortal bodies must be transformed into immortal bodies. Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled: “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin and death through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭15‬:‭40‬, ‭42‬-‭57‬ ‭NLT‬‬

 

“For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies. While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit. So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. For we live by believing and not by seeing.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5‬:‭1‬-‭7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Verses about truth and belief

Spoiler

Choose faith over feelings.

“Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”
‭‭John‬ ‭14‬:‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

 

“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭10‬:‭9‬, ‭13‬ ‭ESV‬‬

 

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.”
‭‭John‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬-‭17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

 

“God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭2‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

 

Edited September 15, 2023 by Buffy

[worldwide angel]

sending you so much love  let your loved ones know and i hope you still find the time to enjoy life. 

[MoonGoodandHappy]

Tell your family, it's so important.  I hope everything will be ok.  I'm so sorry, you deserve to be happy and have a beautiful life. And you can be proud of you because you are so brave . 

Edited September 16, 2023 by MoonGoodandHappy