celeb news Steve Lacy on Coming Out: "It's silly."

[Armani?]

7 hours ago, SmittenCake said:

whats also silly (more like racist and colorist) is him not wanting to date other men of color

 

Hip-hop artist steve lacy says he's bisexual—but would never date a black guy
"I still love them and want them to do well in life, we just won’t date."

https://www.logotv.com/news/dzq0df/steve-lacy-bisexual-wont-date-black-guys

 

"Hip Hop artist" 

7 hours ago, Katamari said:

nnn get him jade

 

 

7 hours ago, SmittenCake said:

The way these ~soft boys~ like tyler the creator, frank ocean, steve lacey etc never get called out for their ~~~~preferences~~~~

 

 

7 hours ago, Symmetra said:

I knew there was a reason I didn’t like him

 

7 hours ago, Rogue said:

I ****ing can't stand a fellow black person in the community (or in general) completely disregard their own race. And for what? 

 

But he'll be the first to prop his ass up in the air for the first white cock to come waltzing along. Trash. 

 

6 hours ago, Welovetrouble said:

He is antiblack because why won't he date men that look like him? I don't care personally but terms exist for a reason and this does fit him perfectly for words he uttered out of his own mouth 

 

He dates Black women though so maybe it's just his wierd preference??? 

[Alex]

completely forgot about him omg...

[brraap]

He's right. why do you have to announce that your lgbt

[brraap]

5 hours ago, Fav said:

He's not friends with Tyler The Creator for nothing...

 

tyler, frank, kevin abstract... 

 

I'm sensing a pattern of self-hate 

 

[CottageHore]

Y’all not thinking we should have to “come out” doesn’t change the fact that we do. This is the society we’ve created- where gay people can’t just exist freely as the norm. You don’t eradicate homophobia by pretending it doesn’t exist or pretending being gay doesn’t exist. Some of y’all are so self-hating it’s sad 

[SimpleKindofLife]

Personally I’m not attracted to skin color but rather the person so I don’t understand when people will write off an entire race in their dating pool, especially in a society where black people are written off in many different ways. He may have confidence in his queerness but I really don’t understand why he made the comment about not being into black men in the first place

[JungleJuice]

I hooked up with a black guy last week and he made it a point to tell me he's not into other black guys and would never have sex with one. I was like okaaaayyy. Is that good? 😂

[Gyal]

i agree, unless you're asking about my sexuality bc you wanna buy me dinner then stfu 

[Rotunda]

8 hours ago, Big Bad Wolf said:

Because you don't know his reasoning. Due to some of my own personal trauma, I intentionally only dated outside of my race as well. Eventually those feelings subsided. So who knows how much of that is personal vs. superficial.

The Doja avi is really selling this post

[dumbsparce]

Finally someone said it. If we as a community want to normalize being gay or queer in general then we shouldn't be making it a big deal ourselves by coming out/announcing what we are as if it's something people should be aware of before approaching us.

Edited August 9, 2023 by dumbsparce

[Fav]

55 minutes ago, brraap said:

tyler, frank, kevin abstract... 

 

I'm sensing a pattern of self-hate 

 

As much Franck being a fraud, his last boyfriends were at least Latinos... Shallow models? Yes, but not white! A win is a win!

 

[Welovetrouble]

37 minutes ago, dumbsparce said:

Finally someone said it. If we as a community want to normalize being gay or queer in general then we shouldn't be making it a big deal ourselves by coming out/announcing what we are as if it's something people should be aware of before approaching us.

This is how erasure happens, this is what the conservatives want for us to not exist and the fact y'all aren't seeing this is very disturbing.

 

In an equitable world where homophobia doesn't exist and isn't a limitation to how we navigate the world then sure it wouldn't be a big deal but we but that utopia isn't the reality we are living in and the world is very heterosexist and I want y'all to wake up, not everyone needs to come out because of whatever reason that they have but implying that "coming out" is silly is really clueless but y'all continue 

[dumbsparce]

43 minutes ago, Welovetrouble said:

This is how erasure happens, this is what the conservatives want for us to not exist and the fact y'all aren't seeing this is very disturbing.

 

In an equitable world where homophobia doesn't exist and isn't a limitation to how we navigate the world then sure it wouldn't be a big deal but we but that utopia isn't the reality we are living in and the world is very heterosexist and I want y'all to wake up, not everyone needs to come out because of whatever reason that they have but implying that "coming out" is silly is really clueless but y'all continue 

I'm speaking based on my own personal experiences. The only people I ever came out to were my parents for obvious reasons. Friends, colleagues etc never heard me say "I'm gay". I'd simply show up with a guy or casually mention sth during a conversation and they either accepted me or not but I never felt like I had to make a formal announcement neither did I feel opressed by not doing so.

 

Famous people not disclosing their sexuality does not erase my existence in any way. What are you talking about? I couldn't care less about seeing people "like me" in the entertainment industry. I never felt empowered to live my full gay life whenever I saw Elton John, Freddy Mercury or Rupaul on tv. I just let myself be the way I was. Or as if the token gay character who's all bubbly and one-dimensional we keep seeing on tv does us any good.

Edited August 9, 2023 by dumbsparce

[More Than A Melody]

10 hours ago, Phantom said:

For most of us in Global South countries where this normalization is still ongoing, every public coming out helps. I can guarantee you if half the biggest movie stars in my country - or forget it, even 1/10th - actually came out, it would skyrocket LGBTQ+ visibility, acceptance, and tolerance. 

 

Whether these celebs like it or not, they have power that simply normal people do not. I do not side eye the average Joe who doesn't come out for fear of being chided or rejected. But I do get a bit frustrated by celebs who can change things for the better and choose not to. Again, they're not obliged to, but I find it sad that they won't. 

 

It's why queerbaiting celebs bother me as well, but that's a different conversation. 

As someone who's queer and lives in the Global South, this take is... definitely something.

 

The individual should come before their representation. It's not Steve Lacy's job to create visibility for queer people so that queers in the Global South have their identity normalized. His mental health and well-being come before and are more important.

 

You do realize that once you come out at that scale you can never take it back? That it'll be one of the things that defines you for the rest of your life? That it'll be a main talking point when people discuss you in open forums for decades to come? We're in an age of identity politics and if a queer person doesn't want to make their status as a minority part of their brand, they should absolutely not do it? And if you come out, it automatically becomes part of your brand.

 

It's not "sad" if they feel the need to protect themselves. If they don't feel ready for that kind of scrutiny or if they don't feel ready to make the decision to have that scrutiny, once again for the rest of their lives.

 

Real people can't queerbait. Queerbaiting is a piece of media (TV show, movie, book, etc) teasing queer representation without ever intending to explicitly include it. Queerbaiting in media is a thing because those characters are not real people experiencing real emotions and real life issues. They're written by in black and white on paper and their motivations and ideals are static and depend on nothing but the will of a writer.

 

A real person's life doesn't work that way. Sexuality is a spectrum and can be complicated to navigate. Real people can be confused about their sexuality or have complex emotions about it and how to express it. If a real person wants to express their sexuality in art but not outwardly express it because of fear or whatever other reason, that's 100% understandable. It's not up to consumers of pop culture to demand explanations about private matters from real people. That's incredibly entitled and invasive.

 

Celebrities don't OWE you anything. if you think queerbaiting is a thing, you're entitled. End of.

[Specter]

18 minutes ago, More Than A Melody said:

this take is... definitely something.

My thoughts exactly after reading your post. 

 

18 minutes ago, More Than A Melody said:

The individual should come before their representation.

You will find many people do not share this opinion neatly. 

 

18 minutes ago, More Than A Melody said:

It's not Steve Lacy's job

Great, never said it was! Read the post. 

 

The rest of your post blatantly ignores the elephant in the room and is thus not fully worth engaging with - the class status of most celebrities. 

 

No, this does not shield them from online hate or various phobias irl, or being "branded" as you say, but waxing poetic about this as if the average queer person and the average queer CELEBRITY have remotely the same material concerns and/or fear of daily and incessant oppression is... quite something, indeed! The protection you keep talking about literally comes with most celeb territory.

 

There is perhaps some room for agreement and nuance in what you said about queerbaiting, but you are again wilfully ignoring many key aspects. 

 

Edited August 9, 2023 by Phantom

[More Than A Melody]

9 minutes ago, Phantom said:

The rest of your post blatantly ignores the elephant in the room and is thus not fully worth engaging with - the class status of most celebrities. 

 

No, this does not shield them from online hate or various phobias irl, or being "branded" as you say, but waxing poetic about this as if the average queer person and the average queer CELEBRITY have remotely the same material concerns and/or fear of daily and incessant oppression is... quite something, indeed! The protection you keep talking about literally comes with most celeb territory.

 

There is perhaps some room for agreement and nuance in what you said about queerbaiting, but you are again wilfully ignoring many key aspects. 

 

Someone's class status does not negate other aspects, such as mental health, first and foremost.

 

9 minutes ago, Phantom said:

No, this does not shield them from online hate or various phobias irl, or being "branded" as you say, but waxing poetic about this as if the average queer person and the average queer CELEBRITY have remotely the same material concerns and/or fear of daily and incessant oppression is... quite something, indeed! The protection you keep talking about literally comes with most celeb territory.

I never said or even implied that the average queer person and the average queer celebrity have the same concerns or fears. I'm saying that those fears and concerns don't just go away because you're a celebrity. And fears and concerns are not the only reasons someone wouldn't want to come out.

 

I completely understand the desire for representation. What I fundamentally disagree with is thinking individuals should feel pressured to come out in order to give us that representation. It comes down to the individual, their fears, their concerns, their mental health, their desires, to make a decision that they can never take back. It's not you coming out to your aunt and if she has a problem with it you can just stop seeing her.

 

I actually disagree that coming out "is silly." I think it's important. But I also think it's wrong to demand it or react negatively if someone chooses not to. We are not owed that information.

[Frogger17]

LOL. I remember his excuse for not dating black men was the typical "I see them as my brothers and don't want to date my brother" bull that minorities always try to pull when we want to date white guys only. Oddly, I've never heard a white guy say that. Anyway, he comes across as pretentious so it's no loss. 

[ImpressMeMuch]

3 hours ago, CottageHore said:

Y’all not thinking we should have to “come out” doesn’t change the fact that we do. This is the society we’ve created- where gay people can’t just exist freely as the norm. You don’t eradicate homophobia by pretending it doesn’t exist or pretending being gay doesn’t exist. Some of y’all are so self-hating it’s sad 

This - I'm happy for someone who lives in a community + environment that allows them to not go through that struggle, but it is ignorant to ignore the value + importance of coming out. 

[Raphy23]

I mean it's only a tiny part of my identity, and something private. Idk why some people make it their entire identity but w.e makes you happy.

[Frozen99]

13 hours ago, LustSpell said:

I agree. I came out once, but I don't announce it anymore like it's a big thing. I just casually insert it in a discussion now and move on

exactly, not just celebrities, it's for "common" ppl too. i talk about myself and casually say, "me & my bf ..." i think we're at a point where there's no need for an "announcement."