celeb news Steve Lacy on Coming Out: "It's silly."

[Stepfon]

 

In 2017, the year he released his first solo project, “Steve Lacy’s Demo,” Lacy found himself chatting with fans on a Tumblr thread. When a commenter asked if he would date a guy, Lacy casually typed back, “Sure, why not.” Then the headlines popped up: “Steve Lacy Comes Out as Bisexual.”

 

“But I didn’t really come out,” Lacy says now. “I didn’t try to — it just kinda happened. I don’t care to announce who I’m into sexually. I think it’s silly. I never felt like I needed to come out.”

 

The experience also gave Lacy his first taste of online outrage. When, responding to a follow-up question, Lacy indicated he wasn’t interested in other Black men, he became the target of fan ire and blogs labeling him “anti-Black.” Lacy wrote at the time, “I’m just not attracted to Black boys. … I still love them and want them to do well in life, we just won’t date.”

 

It wasn’t until she saw the news that Syd, who had been out as gay for years, learned that Lacy was queer.

“I found out there was all that controversy, and that’s when I talked to him about it,” she says, retelling her most “profound” memory with her bandmate. The two were in New York and took a walk to Starbucks, where they had a heart-to-heart. But Syd, who is six years older than Lacy, knew her audience. She didn’t offer him advice about coming into his sexuality in front of the world — and Lacy didn’t ask for any.

 

“I think being a gay man is very different from being a gay woman,” Syd says. “I didn’t even want to assume that I knew what he was going through. I just wanted to let him know as a sister that you can play this as low-key or as high-key as you want to. It doesn’t matter, and whenever you’re ready to open up about it, we’re here.” Lacy has since become more open about his sexuality — especially through his lyrics — but he exudes a certain ownership of self that makes him reluctant to attach labels. In an era when artists capitalize on their identities or are involuntarily defined by them, Lacy shrugs at the implication that his queerness informs his art, and he’s not concerned with representing a specific community either.

 

“I never care to speak for anyone else, because I think all of our experiences are so different from each other,” he says. “I guess I have a selfish perspective of myself in the world, and I’m just expressing myself. I’m not necessarily doing things for other people to feel good about themselves.”

Steve Lacy on 'Bad Habit' Fame, His Sexuality and That Camera Smash - Variety

 

[Relampago.]

I mean tea, it’s lowkey just another way of othering queer people but it’s also a form of empowerment for some, so whatever works for different people 

 

He’s only speaking for himself and I agree with him, but certainly not everyone feels this way and that’s fine.

[Big Bad Wolf]

This is refreshing ngl. An artist who just wants to create and be, not needing to label, define or come from a certain place to fit a narrative or fill a role. 

[LustSpell]

I agree. I came out once, but I don't announce it anymore like it's a big thing. I just casually insert it in a discussion now and move on

[midnightdawn]

On one hand, visibility matters. But the media do also go overboard with the "x singer comes out as bisexual!" like it's an announcement when someone mentions they are.

[SmittenCake]

whats also silly (more like racist and colorist) is him not wanting to date other men of color

 

Hip-hop artist steve lacy says he's bisexual—but would never date a black guy
"I still love them and want them to do well in life, we just won’t date."

https://www.logotv.com/news/dzq0df/steve-lacy-bisexual-wont-date-black-guys

 

[FOCK]

I understand the importance of visibility & that the process of “coming out” is often a shared, connective experience amongst LGBTQ+ people, & may even be a form of protest, but I kind of have the same perspective, so I get it. 
 

It has a liberative power in one’s youth, but I don’t feel the need to make declarative statements about one aspect of my identity to people, there are more consequential and self defining traits I’d rather be known for & one’s core is multifaceted & ever evolving. I don’t really care to give people fodder to “otherize”. I treat it as inconsequential, thus I find the energy and people around me react inconsequentially.
 

It would be ideal to reach a societal state where it isn’t “a thing”, but we’re regressing in many ways. 

[Katamari]

6 minutes ago, SmittenCake said:

whats also silly (more like racist and colorist) is him not wanting to date other men of color

 

Hip-hop artist steve lacy says he's bisexual—but would never date a black guy
"I still love them and want them to do well in life, we just won’t date."

https://www.logotv.com/news/dzq0df/steve-lacy-bisexual-wont-date-black-guys

 

nnn get him jade

 

[SmittenCake]

2 minutes ago, Katamari said:

nnn get him jade

 

The way these ~soft boys~ like tyler the creator, frank ocean, steve lacey etc never get called out for their ~~~~preferences~~~~

 

[Specter]

Sure. Not even celebrities /owe/ it to come out. 

 

With that said, they have an (often) international platform, especially in the social media age, where countless young people across the world look to them for validation, comfort, and encouragement to venture into so many aspects of life. While it's still the celeb's volition to keep it private, it's a little strange why you wouldn't want to harness it for good. 

 

But here's the tea: the "I don't need to come out, it's not everyone's business" train of thought is to an unmistakable degree shaped by the privilege of living in usually Western, liberal democracies with a track record of more normalization of LGBTQ acceptance. Not in all cases, but most often. 

 

For most of us in Global South countries where this normalization is still ongoing, every public coming out helps. I can guarantee you if half the biggest movie stars in my country - or forget it, even 1/10th - actually came out, it would skyrocket LGBTQ+ visibility, acceptance, and tolerance. 

 

Whether these celebs like it or not, they have power that simply normal people do not. I do not side eye the average Joe who doesn't come out for fear of being chided or rejected. But I do get a bit frustrated by celebs who can change things for the better and choose not to. Again, they're not obliged to, but I find it sad that they won't. 

 

It's why queerbaiting celebs bother me as well, but that's a different conversation. 

Edited August 9, 2023 by Phantom

[Symmetra]

18 minutes ago, SmittenCake said:

whats also silly (more like racist and colorist) is him not wanting to date other men of color

 

Hip-hop artist steve lacy says he's bisexual—but would never date a black guy
"I still love them and want them to do well in life, we just won’t date."

https://www.logotv.com/news/dzq0df/steve-lacy-bisexual-wont-date-black-guys

 

I knew there was a reason I didn’t like him

[americanlife]

I agree

[brenda-walsh]

i agree, coming out should be a personal preference

 

but he's still trash for not dating other black men. i think anyone who excludes any race in dating or exclusively dates any race is weird

[Big Bad Wolf]

21 minutes ago, SmittenCake said:

whats also silly (more like racist and colorist) is him not wanting to date other men of color

 

Hip-hop artist steve lacy says he's bisexual—but would never date a black guy
"I still love them and want them to do well in life, we just won’t date."

https://www.logotv.com/news/dzq0df/steve-lacy-bisexual-wont-date-black-guys

 

You can have your judgments, but at the end of the day, telling someone who they should or shouldn't date or sleep with is just a waste of your time and energy.

[Big Bad Wolf]

5 minutes ago, brenda-walsh said:

i agree, coming out should be a personal preference

 

but he's still trash for not dating other black men. i think anyone who excludes any race in dating or exclusively dates any race is weird

Tons of people only date within their race consciously or subconsciously. But regardless I won't get behind calling a black man racist under this circumstance, you can say colorist but some people calling him racist and anti-black are doing too much.

[Apolonio ₃₄]

23 minutes ago, SmittenCake said:

whats also silly (more like racist and colorist) is him not wanting to date other men of color

 

Hip-hop artist steve lacy says he's bisexual—but would never date a black guy
"I still love them and want them to do well in life, we just won’t date."

https://www.logotv.com/news/dzq0df/steve-lacy-bisexual-wont-date-black-guys

 

I ****ing can't stand a fellow black person in the community (or in general) completely disregard their own race. And for what? 

 

But he'll be the first to prop his ass up in the air for the first white cock to come waltzing along. Trash. 

[DeepEnd]

29 minutes ago, SmittenCake said:

whats also silly (more like racist and colorist) is him not wanting to date other men of color

 

Hip-hop artist steve lacy says he's bisexual—but would never date a black guy
"I still love them and want them to do well in life, we just won’t date."

https://www.logotv.com/news/dzq0df/steve-lacy-bisexual-wont-date-black-guys

 

 

He could still be into other poc. And it's his preference anyways, no one is being harmed by his dating choices. 

[CandleGuy]

36 minutes ago, midnightdawn said:

On one hand, visibility matters. But the media do also go overboard with the "x singer comes out as bisexual!" like it's an announcement when someone mentions they are.

I also think visibility matters in that it's important that young people see that "coming out" doesn't have to be handled one way.

 

There is the Sam Smith way of making it your entire identity, brand, and using it for attention.

 

And there is the Steve Lacy way of answering honestly when asked and not needing to elaborate or use it as part of his public persona.

[SmittenCake]

5 minutes ago, Rogue said:

I ****ing can't stand a fellow black person in the community (or in general) completely disregard their own race. And for what? 

 

But he'll be the first to prop his ass up in the air for the first white cock to come waltzing along. Trash. 

Then there's the ones that wanna cry about racism but their only prefernces are white gays  

 

this was a cpl years ago but still holds up today:

Why I’m Not Bothered About C**ning Black Gays Who Experience The Racism They Perpetuate

https://www.kingofreads.com/im-not-bothered-cooning-black-gays-experiencing-racism-perpetuate/

 

 

original article:

https://www.thepinknews.com/2017/08/23/a-black-guy-shared-the-vile-racist-abuse-he-got-from-a-white-man-on-grindr/

 

 

 

 

[SmittenCake]

7 minutes ago, DeepEnd said:

He could still be into other poc. And it's his preference anyways, no one is being harmed by his dating choices. 

Sam Smith has also never dated a black guy but he sure loves to take raunchy photos with them (and probably hooks up with them) 

 

rememebr that one tweet where he wanted Chris Brown to **** them? and wearing that RKelly t-shirt in public

 

if i see sumn crazy, imma call it ouT

 

 

 

[Welovetrouble]

30 minutes ago, Big Bad Wolf said:

Tons of people only date within their race consciously or subconsciously. But regardless I won't get behind calling a black man racist under this circumstance, you can say colorist but some people calling him racist and anti-black are doing too much.

He is antiblack because why won't he date men that look like him? I don't care personally but terms exist for a reason and this does fit him perfectly for words he uttered out of his own mouth 

[James_Dean]

Sensing a bit of hypocrisy here 

[Big Bad Wolf]

11 minutes ago, Welovetrouble said:

He is antiblack because why won't he date men that look like him? I don't care personally but terms exist for a reason and this does fit him perfectly for words he uttered out of his own mouth 

Because you don't know his reasoning. Due to some of my own personal trauma, I intentionally only dated outside of my race as well. Eventually those feelings subsided. So who knows how much of that is personal vs. superficial.

Edited August 9, 2023 by Big Bad Wolf

[Trent W]

I’ve always disliked the concept of coming out

 

It’s like you had to justify yourself to society 

 

No one should have the need to come out, everyone has different sexual preferences and that’s okay

 

We’re getting closer to the day were coming out will be seen ancient 

[Revolution]

He is self-hating.