zasderfght Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 (edited) As someone who is well-educated, a teacher, and someone who has a seemingly "normal" life (i.e. I have a stable job/income, benefits, my own place, my own car, I have a healthy relationship with my partner/family/friends), I just don't wanna do adult stuff. Now here's the catch: I do do them. If my apartment is filthy, that drives me insane (i.e. I'll clean the bathroom, do the dishes, wash/fold laundry), but doing it is kind of depressing lol I have moments where I enjoy my cleaning sprees, but those are few and far between lol It could also be because I was exposed to a lot of abuse in my life. Abuse at my 2nd to last workplace. Parental abuse (I was a product of helicopter parenting, and you guys, my parents still treat me like 5, even though I pay and have my name in basically everything). When I can just unwind and eat edibles or take my pain meds so my pain level isn't at a 10 (I have chronic pain, and my therapist thinks it's because of psychological abuse and possibly trauma). There's times where I'm like, omg, what if I contributed to society in a way that completely upends it, and we're not all stuck in this ableist, capitalist, and homophobic and transphobic planet, but I'm like, man, I am so tired. I just want to put my work hours in. And go for walks-- it's not like I only have fun on drugs and partying. But without partying and unwinding, I would be far more bitter lol Anyone feel similarly? I'm in my late 20s, if that says anything or makes sense. Edited July 19, 2023 by zasderfght I needed to make a grammatical correction.
JoeAg Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 I don't think it's inherently awful, but I think people begin to use it as an excuse to be lazy and carefree and it begins to permeate into times when they should absolutely NOT be either of those things so, yknow, moderation
zasderfght Posted July 19, 2023 Author Posted July 19, 2023 1 minute ago, JoeAg said: I don't think it's inherently awful, but I think people begin to use it as an excuse to be lazy and carefree and it begins to permeate into times when they should absolutely NOT be either of those things so, yknow, moderation Fair! Maybe it's because this is the first summer I've had off in a while (and when I had summer jobs, I was a retail manager). So maybe my body is just tired?
fememeist Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 Honestly yes. Just gotta have balance or something to counteract it just so you don’t get too much of the track of your life. I have this really shitty toxic mindset that if someone does something better than me, what’s the point of me even trying to do it better anyways? This life is finite and i’m just gonna cope by doing things that intrinsically make me feel good.
zasderfght Posted July 19, 2023 Author Posted July 19, 2023 7 minutes ago, fememeist said: Honestly yes. Just gotta have balance or something to counteract it just so you don’t get too much of the track of your life. I have this really shitty toxic mindset that if someone does something better than me, what’s the point of me even trying to do it better anyways? This life is finite and i’m just gonna cope by doing things that intrinsically make me feel good. That's the thing: I think the balance is there. I'm responsible and don't drive or go to work high. I don't cheat on my partner and show him love. I'm democratic with chores/cleaning with my current roommate. I won two awards for teaching-- not to brag, but just saying. It's not like my life is solely hedonistic. I'm just saying people always talk about their successes, what they want to do next, save the world. And that's all fine. But because I feel like I've just worked and worked, and never really took a break, I feel that now I'm chilling and providing myself more downtime, I'm like, um, hell yes. More of this, please lol
JoeAg Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 Just now, zasderfght said: Fair! Maybe it's because this is the first summer I've had off in a while (and when I had summer jobs, I was a retail manager). So maybe my body is just tired? oh I wouldn't doubt it for a second! the human body needs far more rest than we're provided in this society (insert some Seinfeld quote here) and idk... you should make the best of the summer for sure. go on lots of walks, and definitely try to pursue something creative! you might just tap into something you've repressed since you were young, who knows what's most important is that you let yourself enjoy yourself
Keter Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 I think you nailed your reasoning already. Your experience comes from how you frame your perspective on life and you have trauma that contributes to that frame. I think as you work through your trauma and investigate these questions you’re asking yourself, you’ll make some inner changes that will, hopefully, lead you to an even more fulfilling life. It’s all relative and you gotta take inventory of your self to figure out the tools you have and the tools you need going forward. Drugs and partying are a kind of tool, but you have to think about what it is they help you to escape, whether they can work in the long term, and if there aren’t better options.
Cain Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 (edited) I think hedonism and selfcare are the most important things in life However I think capitalism has completely misconstrued what these principles mean, selfcare does not involve consumerism. A lot of people think of it as buying bathbombs or watching tv shows or whatever. However true pleasure and freedom comes from being honest with yourself and others, setting boundaries, being brave enough to give scary desires a place in your life, working through trauma, communion, play, intimate bonds, etc. These are the things that make life worth living So I agree with hedonism, I just don’t think hedonism is… smoking weed or something Edited July 19, 2023 by Cain 4
zasderfght Posted July 19, 2023 Author Posted July 19, 2023 9 hours ago, Cain said: I think hedonism and selfcare are the most important things in life However I think capitalism has completely misconstrued what these principles mean, selfcare does not involve consumerism. A lot of people think of it as buying bathbombs or watching tv shows or whatever. However true pleasure and freedom comes from being honest with yourself and others, setting boundaries, being brave enough to give scary desires a place in your life, working through trauma, communion, play, intimate bonds, etc. These are the things that make life worth living So I agree with hedonism, I just don’t think hedonism is… smoking weed or something You hit the nail on the head!
KatyPrismSpirit Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 Hedoism becomes awful when you stop being self-less in your persuit of pleasure.
MrFenty Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 Hedonism isn't just pleasure. It's the argument that the pursuit of pleasure is the highest ideal because pleasure exists. So, doing things for enjoyment doesn't make you a hedonist necessarily. A popular counter argument to hedonism is that the mere existence of a thing shouldn't constitute an ethical norm, so just because pleasurable activities feel good, doesn't mean it's in our best interest to pursue them. And most people know from experience the constant pursuit of the high can have crippling lows. Imo, to be a hedonist is when you've convinced yourself that because drugs and sex feels good, there's nothing else worth pursuing. So going to parties and doing drugs or having sex doesn't make you a hedonist if you do it to stress relieve every once in a while. It's only when you reject the idea that contentment from discipline is worthwhile and accept all immediately gratifying behaviors should become the norm because of their pleasure inducing benefits that you are a hedonist. So, yes, imo hedonism is dangerous. But balancing pleasure with work doesn't make you a hedonist and is often considered to produce more consistent enjoyment out of life even if you're missing out on full blown euphoria.
zasderfght Posted July 19, 2023 Author Posted July 19, 2023 3 hours ago, MrFenty said: Hedonism isn't just pleasure. It's the argument that the pursuit of pleasure is the highest ideal because pleasure exists. So, doing things for enjoyment doesn't make you a hedonist necessarily. A popular counter argument to hedonism is that the mere existence of a thing shouldn't constitute an ethical norm, so just because pleasurable activities feel good, doesn't mean it's in our best interest to pursue them. And most people know from experience the constant pursuit of the high can have crippling lows. Imo, to be a hedonist is when you've convinced yourself that because drugs and sex feels good, there's nothing else worth pursuing. So going to parties and doing drugs or having sex doesn't make you a hedonist if you do it to stress relieve every once in a while. It's only when you reject the idea that contentment from discipline is worthwhile and accept all immediately gratifying behaviors should become the norm because of their pleasure inducing benefits that you are a hedonist. So, yes, imo hedonism is dangerous. But balancing pleasure with work doesn't make you a hedonist and is often considered to produce more consistent enjoyment out of life even if you're missing out on full blown euphoria. I like your answer! It seems like I'm an "adult" so to speak, but I just like to unwind in the way people like to drink wine, smoke a J, pop an edible or tab. And you're correct about hedonism!
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