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Kit Connor opens up about coming out in British Vogue


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Posted (edited)

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“Lucky” is a surprising word to hear, given his experiences last autumn. Social media was rife with speculation about Connor’s sexuality, after he was pictured holding hands with Maia Reficco, his co-star in the upcoming adaptation of YA novel A Cuban Girl’s Guide to Tea and Tomorrow. Playing a bisexual teen, and frequently appearing at Pride events in his own life, some accused Connor of “queerbaiting”, a term used to describe a celebrity capitalising on speculation they’re not straight (usually for the sake of publicity). The online harassment intensified; Connor left Twitter. He planned to ignore the noise (“I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business and I’m super young”), but returned in October with a tweet: “I’m bi. Congrats for forcing an 18-year-old to out himself. I think some of you missed the point of the show. Bye.” (The tweet garnered one million likes on the platform.)

 

It was, obviously, not an easy period. “I’m a young man, so I’m already kind of going through certain things, in terms of just life and mental health.” His tweet was a build-up of emotion. “I just needed to let that energy out.”

 

Connor had been coming to terms with his sexuality since before Heartstopper. “It was just a very natural process for me; I didn’t really have an ‘oh, ****’ moment. It just became more and more evident.” Although his family were “super accepting and inclusive and wonderful”, his all-boys school was less so. “I was in a very heteronormative atmosphere,” he says, hesitating slightly. “It wasn’t hugely inclusive. It wasn’t really accepted in a lot of ways.”

 

Internally, he was conscious of the narrative around those who are bisexual. “It’s the experience of maybe you’re too straight to be gay and you’re too gay to be straight. So it’s like, ‘Where do I sit?’ But I feel much more secure in myself now.” Regardless, it didn’t make dealing with overzealous fans any easier. “I just felt like it wasn’t something I was ready to talk about,” he says. “I wasn’t angry. I was just slightly disappointed by this reaction.”

 

It’s indicative of how outing stories have come full circle: whereas once stars such as George Michael were outed by tabloids to shame them for being gay, here fans of Heartstopper were trying to out Connor for seemingly not being gay enough. Why does he think they thought it was OK to pressure him into revealing his sexuality?

 

“I think there’s almost a feeling that because I’d been in the industry for a little while, there was almost this understanding that it’s like, ‘Oh, well, he can take it.’”

 

And did he ultimately feel forced into it as a result? “I think ‘forced’ isn’t the right word I would use, but I would say that I would have preferred to do it another way,” he says. “I also don’t know if I would have ever done it. But at the end of the day I don’t regret it. In many ways it was really empowering.”

https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/kit-connor-interview

Edited by MrLovett
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Posted

what on earth is that wing photo :rip: 

Posted

Vogue? This looks like a H&M teens ad.

 

Anyways. I understand how he feels. Maybe not holding onto any labels will help him to set him free.

  • ATRL Administrator
Posted

They way he was forced to come out will never be okay. 

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Posted

He got an older gay brother? Cousin perhaps?

Posted

It's so gross how he was literally bullied out of the closet because people have convinced themselves they are entitled to know someone's sexuality because of a character they play or the way they choose to dress. The same people will then post about the importance of protecting LGBTQ youth :toofunny3:

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Posted

I mean at least it gave him something to talk about during interviews

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Miichael said:

It's so gross how he was literally bullied out of the closet because people have convinced themselves they are entitled to know someone's sexuality because of a character they play or the way they choose to dress. The same people will then post about the importance of protecting LGBTQ youth :toofunny3:

I don't even want to generalize but the most "radical" LGBTQ youth "activists" cause the most harm.

 

They think that not coming out by the time you are 16 means you are "homophobic" and suppressing the gay side from yourself. However, in reality not everybody is ready to come out or even wants to have a coming out. It's as simple as that. Nobody is entitled to your coming out. Some people don't feel the need to as their closest family and friends already know they are gay. Also, not every gay person wants to label themselves, which I think would be the case for this boy had he not been forced to come out. Like let's be serious...nobody truly knows who tf they are at age 18. Ugh. Forcing anyone to come out or continuously making remarks about someone's sexuality who hasn't come out is such a disease in this world.

Posted

And atrl where some of the people pushing for him to come out. Yall should be ashamed

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He’s so pretty, I love him. 
 

Will always be angry about how that whole situation went down but proud of him! 

Posted

What an unorthodox face...

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Maybe I’m just not a nice, considerate person, but I still don’t understand the big deal over this whole situation. Yes, fans were too agressive about accusing him of “queerbaiting,” but wasn’t the show advertised as having an LGBTQ cast? In which case it feels like he would’ve always been “out” in some way, even if not explicitly labeled. Or is that misinformation? (I haven’t ever watched the show, to be clear — just saw the updates on this situation here) 

Posted
9 minutes ago, Kimbra said:

What an unorthodox face...

Huh? He's got a very traditionally handsome face. What are you talking about? :deadbanana2:

  • Like 2
Posted

Painfully basic shoot

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I SPRINTED in here cause I read kit Harington:noparty:

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5 minutes ago, MrLovett said:

Huh? He's got a very traditionally handsome face. What are you talking about? :deadbanana2:

Well you're from london you're used to people looking like that.

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Posted
9 minutes ago, Kimbra said:

Well you're from london you're used to people looking like that.

This is some of the worst trolling I've ever seen on this forum. :toofunny3:

Posted

Here’s what I don’t get. If everyone in Heartstopper was supposedly somewhere on the LGBTQ+ spectrum (including a large percentage of the crew) how was he actually forced out? It was already stated that they had done the casting to find actors/actresses who could relate on a personal level to the characters they were playing. 

Posted

He's so cute and people were trash for basically forcing him out.

Posted

Really rooting for him, he was great in Heartstopper. A natural talent.

Posted

The “queerbaiting” discourse especially aimed at real people trying to force them out of the closet needs to end. It’s treating other people’s sexualities like a game.

 

glad he’s feeling better now :heart:

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