zasderfght Posted June 28, 2023 Posted June 28, 2023 I roomed with someone I would consider a close/best friend, and there were red flags even before we moved out. 1. She never cleaned the apartment-- I did. I ended up throwing out the trash and replacing the trash. I ended up running the dishwasher and putting the wet dishes on the dish rack and dry dishes in the cupboards. 2. I Swiffered the floors. She only deep-cleaned (and to be honest, she didn't clean as well as you'd think) for parties she threw. 3. I cleaned out our entire fridge and freezer. She initially offered, but decided she wanted to call her boyfriend instead. 4. Before she started remembering to collect the mail, I always checked the mail and left it on the shelf by my roommate's door. I even texted her, "Hey, you have mail. Please pick it up," especially if it looked like a bill. 5. When she had a mental breakdown, I'd stop what I was doing to try to talk her through it. She thanked me but rather than getting on with cleaning the apartment, she'd leave to her boyfriend's or family's house. 6. She left her boyfriend's stuff in our apartment without my consent. Said she was going to get it out of there that same weekend and it took her weeks (almost a month) to get it out. 7. Brought people to the apartment without giving any kind of a heads-up. Towards the end of the apartment, I let her know I was disappointed in the fact that I had to clean out all her stuff and put it in her room, and it made it a lot harder since my mom and I deep-cleaned that apartment. She said she felt so hurt, that she cleaned the bathroom (which she didn't do as frequently as she led on), said I was acting more like a business partner, and said I was making up imaginary fees if we don't clean up the apartment. This made me so mad because my mom helped my former roommate set up her mattress, I helped my roommate get on anxiety medication and encouraged her to bring up her snafu with her therapist, I always heard about her fights with her ex, and now she's telling me I'm the bad person, and I'm downplaying my contributions. I showed my parents the texts, so they could see for themselves, as well as my boyfriend. And they all hate her. What's your take on this situation?
Kern Posted June 28, 2023 Posted June 28, 2023 Living with my friends as my roomates has led me to not having them as friends anymore nnn
May Posted June 28, 2023 Posted June 28, 2023 i had a friend/housemate who was the exact same but 10x worse, she didn't clean her bedroom once in the 2 years she lived here it went on for 2 years bc she would constantly promise to do better and was good at manipulating. the trash went up PAST her bed and covered the entire room. she had dead fish in there that she was too lazy to dispose of we were getting pests as a result. eventually i completely snapped and went completely apeshit on her while she was at her parents house for a month when i discovered her dead fish still hadnt been disposed of. when she didnt respond i started posting photos of her room on her facebook profiile and all over social media until she responded confirming that she would find somewhere else to live. she was out of that house within 2 days. and no, i dont feel bad. 1
shinyshimmery Posted June 28, 2023 Posted June 28, 2023 Same thing happened to me... my best friend and I decided to live together for a year. We still talk now, because I admit half of it was my fault bc I should have vetted her better. Anyhow, here's some stuff she would do: - Use all of my cookware and leave it dirty, piled up in the sink. So if I wanted to cook anything for myself, I would first need to clean up her mess. She ruined my brand new blender too. - Complain about me not putting bags/liners in the trash cans... I was the one who proactively took out the trash. She had the nerve to complain about having to do ONE thing. Also, she would see the bins overflowing and STILL pile it up. - Vacuuming took her days.. she would leave my vacuum cleaner out on full display bc she was too lazy to finish the job in a few hours. Same thing with laundry... there would be piles of clothes lying on the floor. If I had company over, I would grab everything and throw it into her room and close the door. If she's going to be disrespectful, I'll give her the same energy. - I was the only one who cleaned the bathroom. - Her room smelled like a55. She ended up getting married and we had to end our contract early. She's now divorced and part of it was due to her laziness. We still talk, but I would never ever live with her again, or refer her to a job. I can love her from afar... like very very veryyyyyy afar. Oh and she called me when her divorce was happening to ask if she could stay with me, I have my own house now... but there was no way in hell I was going to allow her to stay here. It was hard, but I had to say no.
shinyshimmery Posted June 28, 2023 Posted June 28, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, May said: i had a friend/housemate who was the exact same but 10x worse, she didn't clean her bedroom once in the 2 years she lived here it went on for 2 years bc she would constantly promise to do better and was good at manipulating. the trash went up PAST her bed and covered the entire room. she had dead fish in there that she was too lazy to dispose of we were getting pests as a result. eventually i completely snapped and went completely apeshit on her while she was at her parents house for a month when i discovered her dead fish still hadnt been disposed of. when she didnt respond i started posting photos of her room on her facebook profiile and all over social media until she responded confirming that she would find somewhere else to live. she was out of that house within 2 days. and no, i dont feel bad. Omg this is awful. I've seen a few tiktoks about people who have roommates like that. It's so sad, it's clear they are going through something... but at the same time they are really negatively impacting the clean/organized/responsible person's life. Both people are victims in this situation. Sorry you had to go through that :/ Edited June 28, 2023 by shinyshimmery
Dr. Alexander Posted June 28, 2023 Posted June 28, 2023 My Father gave me this advice when I was very young and I took it until I graduated from college: ”Do not room with your friends. It will ruin your relationship.”
Kamil24 Posted June 29, 2023 Posted June 29, 2023 I could never have a roommate. Can't live in someone's filth.
Nico Robin Posted June 29, 2023 Posted June 29, 2023 I‘m currently living with my best friend of 17 years (since first grade) and I must say that its complicated from time to time. He does keep his room clean and sometimes brings out trash/ fills, empties the dishwasher however theres so much more he could do that I just cant motivate him to do. Im not really bothered tho, its just sometimes that it makes me very angry but Im understanding because he has a busy schedule but hes also a lazy ass. Right now it feels like were an old married couple that knows what we get from esch other but were too lazy or too comfortable in changing something.
BtDecember Posted July 2, 2023 Posted July 2, 2023 Oh god, this is why I would rather live with my family (we are Asians) than to move out until I am financially secure (I am currently a grad student)
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