discussion What do you think of the saying “most homophobes are closeted gays”?

[Aren]

I personally hate it and think we should stop reinforcing this idea. It’s like we’re blaming LGBTQ people for all the homophobia in the world and absolving straights from it. What do y’all think?

[HardBambi]

I really don’t think that’s the case but I saw that it can happen surprisingly 

[HANZ94]

It may be true in some cases but most of the time is not true 

 

homophobes in general are simply disgusted by 2 men sharing affection or sex 

[loveisdead9582]

It is in some cases accurate but not to the extent that everyone thinks. There are people who just hate anyone who looks/acts/believes in things differently than they do. 

[FreeXone]

It’s when they go out for their way and make it their taking point CONSTANTLY. I.e. lil boosie

 

It comes across as projection. 
 

There’s a difference in those that are obsessed with it, verse those who just casually Disagree. 

[Carla Rosón]

It's mostly BS unfortunately

[Aston Martin]

It's wrong. While there are some instances of homophobes being closet-cases, I think most homophobia actually stems from either religion, misogyny, or resentment. And a vast majority of it is perpetuated by straight people.  

Edited June 6, 2023 by Aston Martin

[deal dough]

I wish it were true

[Big Bad Wolf]

Well it's true sometimes, people project onto others

But let's not undermine the level of hate and rage people have towards just seeing LGBTQ+ people just living their lives

Closeted or not it needs to stop, enough is enough

At the end of the day the homophobes pass it down and that's why some closeted men are like that, other times it much larger than family/surroundings, society still plays a huge role as well

And in the last 3 years we've taken many steps backwards and lost a lot of "goodwill from the GP" as they say, gays are in their reputation era right now

 

 

[BGKC]

It’s really not true, it’s mostly due to the patriarchal society we live in where men are expected to be masculine, dominant providers of the sort. Straight, misogynistic men for example are mostly homophobic by default (along with the straight women who submit to the patriarchy).. religion obviously plays a role too, but men & woman should “know their place” according to their  black and white worldview. 
 

Closeted homophobes from my perspective are usually just embarrassed by the feminine traits gay men are stereotyped for. That or they’re just suppressing their own feminine qualities all together to appease the straight, masculine male counterparts they wish they were. There’s a lot of these types, but not at all the majority. 
I can’t speak for closeted queer woman as much, but I don’t think it’s nearly as common for them to go as far as bullying other lesbians for being “masculine” the way closeted gay men bully gay men for being “feminine” 

Edited June 6, 2023 by BGKC

[thetea]

i feel like that's true the minority of the time. most of the time people are homophobic due to their religious and/or antiquated beliefs. 

[teresaguidice]

it's a dumb 90s'd oversimplification that's been repeated so much its ingrained in a lot of people as a truism. 

Edited June 6, 2023 by teresaguidice

[spree]

str8's that are comfortable with their sexuality have no problem with gay people.  It's the ones that lean bisexual and keep that hidden that are the problem.

 

either way, religion is the root of all evil and without it, there would be no homophobia.

[tellem]

it’s not real. a lot of men are somewhat bisexual (but rarely feel attracted to men) which applies to some homophobes but it’s likely not more than the general population. 
 

Media obsession over the trope + insecurity from gays themselves + straight people who want to shift the blame onto the gay community allow it to thrive 

[wraith]

While I am sure it is true in some cases homophobes have been scared to question their sexuality and feelings the may be having, I hate this saying. It takes responsibility for homophobia away from straight people and puts it back onto queer people.

[Breakdown]

I wish...

[twink]

It's facts

[rhaenyra]

No, I would say majority of homophobes are just very ignorant on the matter

Tho there are a lot of self hating closeted gays 

[wehan6]

ugh i HATE it

[LikeATattoo]

It’s annoying and largely untrue.

[Mikeymoonshine]

It's homophobic because it blames homophobia on queer people. Queer people didn't push for or pass the law in Uganda making being gay a crime punishable by death. Gay people didn't kick gay teens out on the street. Sometimes closeted politicians have homophobic political platforms because that benefits them and sometimes closeted men go into the church so they don't have to get married to women ect. It isn't as common as people act though. Also I've noticed a lot of right wing/anti gay activists and political figures are now being accused of being closeted under very shaky evidence. Like Madison Cawthorn and that guy who messed up a target display, the evidence against them was not at all conclusive. Cawthorn probably was just joking around with his friend and the screenshots for the other guy seemed fake. For some reason a lot of people find it funny to accuse homophobes of being queer themselves though. 

 

We should be talking about stuff like the fact that Uganda was actually historically a more gay friendly country until Christian missionaries arrived not whether or not some right wing idiot is closeted. Most homophobia in the world is down to heterosexual men and women from abrahamic religions like Christianity. 

Edited June 6, 2023 by Mikeymoonshine

[harwee]

Yeah, its worse when used by lgbts. There's a way to highlight closet hypocrisy without disparaging the community.

 

Definitely we need to retire this, its self-sabotage and damaging.

 

 

[Domination]

I think there is probably some truth to it but I loathe when some people’s knee jerk reaction to an extreme homophobe is to imply they're deeply closeted. It aligns them with LGBT+ people and makes it seems like they are the way they are because we did something.

[samsclubPRESENTSavam]

I think no one is blaming homophobia on out LGBTQ+ people and also don't really think it's productive to worry about correctly analyzing why homophobes are so obsessed with the gay community. don't want people to think you're gay? cool, stop obsessing over me then. 🤷

[Bloo]

I genuinely cannot stand it. It’s basically saying that gay people are the reason homophobia exists which is completely distorted. Homophobic gay people exist because of homophobic cishet people. 
 

It’s okay to think an individual person who is homophobic might be gay because of other things. Having an instant reaction or painting broad strokes that only closeted people are homophobic is really irresponsible, especially when cishet allies do it.