Lagerfeld Posted June 4, 2023 Posted June 4, 2023 39 minutes ago, Infatuation_Junkie said: My husband and I met online 15 years ago. Now, we’re married with two kids. Well, it's an anomaly. 1
cockatoo Posted June 4, 2023 Posted June 4, 2023 46 minutes ago, Infatuation_Junkie said: My husband and I met online 15 years ago. Now, we’re married with two kids. Omg? That's so lovely, I'm happy for you both 1
cockatoo Posted June 4, 2023 Posted June 4, 2023 Anyway, I feel like you should move on. I wouldn't ghost him but just start seeing other people, you're not official or anything. If he comes back around then he comes back around, but don't wait for him.
YellowRibbon Posted June 4, 2023 Posted June 4, 2023 45 minutes ago, Infatuation_Junkie said: My husband and I met online 15 years ago. Now, we’re married with two kids. How does it feel to live my dream? 1
Xtina23 Posted June 4, 2023 Posted June 4, 2023 (edited) You're in the wrong in this situation imo! You are not in an actually relationship, therefore, you are not his priority. Even replying to texts takes a lot of energy because one has to keep up all day. There were many times I was actually busy while in college too, especially if he is working a job too. Edited June 4, 2023 by Xtina23
DoubleRainbow! Posted June 4, 2023 Posted June 4, 2023 1 hour ago, katara said: Yep 2-3 months is the attention span most of gay guys seem to have when it comes to willing to date the same guy. I have had many romances end abruptly roughly around 3 months in coz the guy would get bored and want to chase the next meat or their insecurities or complexes would make them ghost me. Welcome to the modern gay world. This is a reality and its scary OT: I would tell you to move on from this guy
viego Posted June 4, 2023 Posted June 4, 2023 Been there on both sides, to be completely honest with you no one is that busy all of the sudden, and when you are really interested and you are actually going to be busy you tell the other person. I don't know exactly why he would try to keep you around even tho he's not giving you the same attention, but he seems to be bored or tired of the whole situation. I had this exact same situation just that i decided to pursue a formal relationship, in my case it kept going the same way over and over, the same "We have a talk -> we speak like we use to for 3 or 4 days -> we go back to the same". You can do better, go get yourself someone who wont start ghosting you after 3 months.
loveisdead9582 Posted June 4, 2023 Posted June 4, 2023 Went through this last year. Very similar situation (at least on the surface level). My advice is to get out of that situation. One way or another he is not thinking of you the same way you think about him. Don’t hurt yourself by making excuses for his actions - or inactions.
BloodLuster Posted June 5, 2023 Posted June 5, 2023 when you have this doubt, always follow Taylor's advice: you gotta leave before you get left 1 1
Rotunda Posted June 5, 2023 Posted June 5, 2023 Situationships are ephemeral/temporary by nature. Eventually you either want something more or something less. It looks like you’re looking for a partner and he’s looking for a FWB. The second you see yourself looking for more commitment to a man that you’re in a non-commital arrangement with, the situationship has run its course.
SleepNoMore Posted June 5, 2023 Posted June 5, 2023 From what you described he is not into it. If it’s meant to be that connection you felt at the beginning will only continue to grow and evolve if he’s pulling back that much it is safe to say he has lost interest. The fact that he says he doesn’t want to lose you and tried to revert back to previous engagement levels for only a couple of days means to me that he is “backburnering” you. He likes having you in his back pocket but he’s keeping his options open. He wants to do just enough to prevent you from ditching him, because he likes you there as a safety net, but he isn’t really participating anymore like he should. Fade him out and totally go for that other cute guy.
zasderfght Posted June 5, 2023 Posted June 5, 2023 5 hours ago, GentleEarthquake said: Are there even happy endings when two gays meet through social media? Yep! It takes proper boundary-setting, experience, and letting the chemistry organically happen. Bonus points if you have a life of your own (well, this might also help you secure a healthy relationship with your desired partner). 1
Artist Posted June 5, 2023 Posted June 5, 2023 1 hour ago, zasderfght said: Yep! It takes proper boundary-setting, experience, and letting the chemistry organically happen. Bonus points if you have a life of your own (well, this might also help you secure a healthy relationship with your desired partner). Absolutely, love is out there but so many people are accepting others' love story as their own and don't get the chance to experience it. OT: It's a compatibility issue - it seems communication is important to you and so you should align with someone who share that same value instead of asking someone who doesn't. Dating and relationships should be fun. The minute it becomes sour without mutual understanding, then you have to re-evaluate if it's a good fit. Obviously, context is important but don't condition yourself to things that make you unhappy. Merci
Carla Rosón Posted June 5, 2023 Posted June 5, 2023 @Lady Claire don't forget to let us know if there's any update
Topaz Posted June 5, 2023 Posted June 5, 2023 7 hours ago, Infatuation_Junkie said: My husband and I met online 15 years ago. Now, we’re married with two kids. GOD WHEN
Daddy Posted June 5, 2023 Posted June 5, 2023 The writing's on the wall, baby. He's moved on, so should you.
Ratviolo Posted June 5, 2023 Posted June 5, 2023 You're absolutely not overreacting, dump his ass or just keep him as a friend with benefit if you're interested in that
smartalek22 Posted June 5, 2023 Posted June 5, 2023 I suppose I've been from the 'ghosters' perspective somewhat I did eventually break up with him and tell him I'm not interested though. I was at a party with some friends and I met him for the first time there. I was kinda drunk and being way too flirtatious although I wasn't interested in him. I got his number and socials or whatever. He asked if we could cuddle from day one so I did but I really wasn't feeling it so I tried to break away. He was quite drunk too and later he started crying idk if that was cause I was unwilling to go any further or what but he seems like the really emotional type, easy to hurt. Anyways so I'm pretty sure he messaged me asking to go on a date, so I thought I'd just try it to see if things work for us... well the dates were fine like we had lots to talk about and they were fun, but all the affection felt uncomfortable to me and I went along with it because I didn't wanna hurt his feelings, which I guess was stupid??? Idk. But I recall being on a train and all he wanted to do was cuddle in silence the whole time, and I literally never felt more dead in my life, and at some point I tried to break away and he asked what was wrong and I lied and just said nothing was wrong. So clearly we weren't going to work out. Outside of these dates he was constantly, every second of the day messaging me and to be true to myself it was just annoying, I did have things to do, and sometimes I just needed time to myself. I did come up with sort of reasons/excuses for being avoidant but eventually I just had to let it go and tell him straight up I wasn't interested. In the moment it's a damn hard thing to do I'll be honest. It's tough to hurt people's feelings and hopes. I wish the story ended there, but I went down the route of feeling guilty and deciding we could still be somewhat friends. Bad mistake. He stayed there, constantly trying to message me and ask me send him snaps (like he still wants nudes, I know what he's doing, I've never sent them to him fyi). He couldn't let go of his feelings and suggested we could have a threesome once and I kind of just thought that was too much and I blocked him outright everywhere for 3 entire months.
Cyanide Posted June 5, 2023 Posted June 5, 2023 20 hours ago, katara said: Yep 2-3 months is the attention span most of gay guys seem to have when it comes to willing to date the same guy. I have had many romances end abruptly roughly around 3 months in coz the guy would get bored and want to chase the next meat or their insecurities or complexes would make them ghost me. Welcome to the modern gay world. 20 hours ago, CottageHore said: From what you’ve shared, this man is showing you, clear as day, through his actions, that he is not serious or committed to you in the way you desire him to be. I know that probably sucks but it’s what’s meant to be. You deserve somebody who doesn’t make you constantly question whether or not he’s into you. I see the same damn story from every gay on this forum some guy shows an interest for a short time and then goes cold out of the blue for whatever reason and can’t communicate explicitly that something changed and instead the man just does a slow fade-out. It’s shitty of him, but that’s his issue. Either be straight up and ask him to be transparent about where he’s at or just be done with him and cut him out completely. Don’t worry, when you do that, he’ll come crawling back, showing the same interest he did initially but that doesn’t mean you should fall for it My life. Time to BAN homosexuality 1 1
RunUpDoneUp Posted June 6, 2023 Posted June 6, 2023 3 months and already screwing? Damn, I'm old. Y'all just didn't know eachother(still don't) and he's no longer interested. Make a habit of dating, like actually leaving y'all places and seeing the community. Talking on the phone and stuff is friend and classmate behavior. Also date multiple people, helps take the focus off of one who will largely become flaky.
Lady Claire Posted June 8, 2023 Author Posted June 8, 2023 Some updates y'all- He actually came back to stay in touch with me and honestly i don't think there's a reason for me to be an ass with him anyways (actually there is but i'm just not like that), so we've been talking. Last night we had some sexting (bc he suggested) since we couldn't see each other at the moment, and it was... awkward. Idk if it's bc we haven't talked about that - or f*cked - in a while, but i felt weird afterwards. So was him. I was so embarrassed for some reason idk since we had sex before and also chatted about that, and it was good. Last night simply wasn't, just weird all around I think it's maybe bc my brain already accepted that i have to move on and couldn't let myself enjoy it, or.... it was simply awful. I just know that i won't be doing this again for sure I'm starting to treat him as a friend and hopefully he'll do the same or move away. Thank you guys for the encouragement words and i'll bring some updates soon 1
katara Posted June 8, 2023 Posted June 8, 2023 9 hours ago, Lady Claire said: Some updates y'all- He actually came back to stay in touch with me and honestly i don't think there's a reason for me to be an ass with him anyways (actually there is but i'm just not like that), so we've been talking. Last night we had some sexting (bc he suggested) since we couldn't see each other at the moment, and it was... awkward. Idk if it's bc we haven't talked about that - or f*cked - in a while, but i felt weird afterwards. So was him. I was so embarrassed for some reason idk since we had sex before and also chatted about that, and it was good. Last night simply wasn't, just weird all around I think it's maybe bc my brain already accepted that i have to move on and couldn't let myself enjoy it, or.... it was simply awful. I just know that i won't be doing this again for sure I'm starting to treat him as a friend and hopefully he'll do the same or move away. Thank you guys for the encouragement words and i'll bring some updates soon I mean you can still try F+ but it's important to know that with his current attitudes he is not at all BF material
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