Tropez Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 Like the idea that if you are a bottom you have to be the woman, and if you are a top the man. If you are a bottom you only give hear not receive, and tops only get and not give. That’s bottoms have to be submissive and top’s dominant. Im seeming this more with younger gays. And this thinking is rather messed up. And women in particular hate these roles. So why do some gay men want to feel like they’re in the 1950s?
GipJo Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 It's their life, it's not my place to judge them how they wanna be in their love life.
Venice B Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 And what about it? If they're happy and satisfied with their sex lives as it is then I see no problem
Keter Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 I agree with the other comments. We spend too much time scrutinizing how others live. There’s as many ways of being as there are people in the world. If someone wants to live in a masculine/feminine dichotomy/duality, go for it!
Mornings Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 idk that they try. sometimes thats just the way the cookie crumbles. but I do know there are "roles" in every sexuality. and they are there for a reason so your not wrong. no judgement here though. I prefer a bossy dominant bottom, though.
FailSafe Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 Let the people live how they want to live as long as they are not hurting anyone jfc
Aethereal Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 37 minutes ago, Tropez said: Like the idea that if you are a bottom you have to be the woman, and if you are a top the man. If you are a bottom you only give hear not receive, and tops only get and not give. That’s bottoms have to be submissive and top’s dominant. Im seeming this more with younger gays. And this thinking is rather messed up. And women in particular hate these roles. So why do some gay men want to feel like they’re in the 1950s? It probably comes down to childhood and teenage heteronormative promotion they went though coloring their perspective and romantic interests. I don't see many young gays who want to be the "man" though. It's a dysfunctional/glitchy preference. They will probably grow out of it by some years.
GentleEarthquake Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 Some gays are definitely trying/doing that but I'm in no place to judge them
CottageHore Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 Why do you care, Ms Tropez? I’ll never understand why we judge people for taking on specific “roles” in relationships. If it works for them, so be it. But to genuinely answer your question: It’s patriarchal. We as gay men, like everyone else, have been raised in a society that pushes gender norms and the idea that there is a “feminine” figure and then a “masculine” figure in a romantic partnership. It’s forced on us in every TV show and movie and in the relationships that exist around us since the day we’re born. Gay men have no “example” or “mold” in society that tells us what our relationship dynamics should look like in terms of roles, it’s all focused on heterosexual relationships. So when gay men in dual partnerships tend to mimic the same gender norms/roles of heterosexual couples, it’s not surprising. It’s how we’ve been conditioned our entire lives to view two-person romantic partnerships.
TROPICUM Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 Actually, in my case, it’s funny because I just had this conversation with my boyfriend lmao I'm in my very early years of college and living with my boyfriend who's about to graduate and has a job. I feel useless because he pays rent and everything we need while I just study and go out to buy groceries. He doesn't want me to work, like ever, even after I graduate and it kinda makes me uncomfortable. We talked about it once and he thankfully understood my side a little, though he still mentioned right after wanting to have kids and for me to be a stay at home husband He seems to want that 1950s-style relationship despite us being two gay men in the 2020s
Big Bad Wolf Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 Get offline. Because in real-life gay relationships, those labels go right out the window. Of course you have some people who are strictly tops/bottom or dominant/submissive, but in a lot of gay relationships those are things that fluctuate.
Big Bad Wolf Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 32 minutes ago, TROPICUM said: Actually, in my case, it’s funny because I just had this conversation with my boyfriend lmao I'm in my very early years of college and living with my boyfriend who's about to graduate and has a job. I feel useless because he pays rent and everything we need while I just study and go out to buy groceries. He doesn't want me to work, like ever, even after I graduate and it kinda makes me uncomfortable. We talked about it once and he thankfully understood my side a little, though he still mentioned right after wanting to have kids and for me to be a stay at home husband He seems to want that 1950s-style relationship despite us being two gay men in the 2020s Sounds like a keeper to me. Get that ring gurl.
dussel_06 Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 I’m a bottom and I need to feel like a girl. That’s why I don’t need to date effeminate gays. I need a man. I’m not even gonna let my man s*ck me. That’s not a manly attitude. Treat me like a woman ffs.
brenda-walsh Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 who cares? if both parties consent to it, i see no reason to be upset about it
brenda-walsh Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Aristotle said: I don't see many young gays who want to be the "man" though. It's a dysfunctional/glitchy preference. lol they're are plenty of hyper masculine young gays who take pride in being a "man." like a lot of them actually
Redstreak Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 It’s just an easier dynamic to fit into given how culturally pervasive it is, there’s a reason it’s so common
RunUpDoneUp Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 Yes and no it's not normal, quite the opposite, gay men diverge from heteronormative norms pretty routinely in relationships, well, the healthy ones anyway. The gay men who try to fit dysfunctional heterosexual norms into a gay hole are the very same ones occupying the high domestic violence stat.
Sawk Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 Idk, I kinda like playing the “girl” in a relationship, it’s just how I am, that being said I’m not 100% fem, I do have some masc moments here and there, but I generally enjoy that dynamic of having a beefy tall hairy man ordering me around and telling me what to do yess sir!!!
Oktober Knight Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 11 hours ago, GipJo said: It's their life, it's not my place to judge them how they wanna be in their love life. Exactly!
Aethereal Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 10 hours ago, brenda-walsh said: lol they're are plenty of hyper masculine young gays who take pride in being a "man." like a lot of them actually But they often date their clone. What those hyper masculine looking gays 'work' in their image is a reflection of what they view attractive in men. Most 'legit' masculine gays are soft who listen to pop girls like me. As soon as I hear a gay man talk about 'alpha' I am leaving.
harwee Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 These stereotypes are just that. Making assumptions on who is dominant/submissive and their corresponding sexual activity, based on what, their perceived masculinity, its not cute.
Hallad173 Posted May 9, 2023 Posted May 9, 2023 12 hours ago, dussel_06 said: I’m a bottom and I need to feel like a girl. That’s why I don’t need to date effeminate gays. I need a man. I’m not even gonna let my man s*ck me. That’s not a manly attitude. Treat me like a woman ffs. *Screaming*
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