discussion Bi and "str8" guys are flooding gay dating apps. Thoughts?

[helikesitheymikey]

Please tell me someone has seen the tiktoks where they talk about “straight” men being able to hookup with men and still identify as straight. Men are such fragile human beings, lol.

[suburbannature]

This isn’t new

[boneyard]

10 minutes ago, jezebelvictoria said:

Why are you questioning bi men being on Grindr? That makes absolutely no sense. 

It's simply questioning the uptick in their presence, not their presence in general.

[JayRockafella]

Simple the straight guys are either curious, gay, bi, side, trailer or a rake

[FreeXone]

Most of them are either on there looking for trans OR

They lie say they are “bi or straight” cause they know us phagz love to say we’re were with a straight man or man who has a girl. 

[FreeXone]

16 minutes ago, helikesitheymikey said:

Please tell me someone has seen the tiktoks where they talk about “straight” men being able to hookup with men and still identify as straight. Men are such fragile human beings, lol.

It’s bi erasure and the gays feed into it so they can coddle the men they lust after lol

 

There are men who will literally say “I’m not bi cause I cannot see myself romantically being with a guy only physically” lmao 

Edited April 27, 2023 by FreeXone

[halcyonday]

they always been there  

[gm4567]

No thoughts, sorry.

[Bussea]

the concept of bi and question men is always such a mystery to atrl and I still do not understand why. they’ve literally always been there

Edited April 27, 2023 by Bussea

[stjosephprey4us]

Idk but it’s ******* annoying. Be real with yourself and move on 

[katara]

20 minutes ago, boneyard said:

It's simply questioning the uptick in their presence, not their presence in general.

Right? 

 

Yall need to read better. I am just saying that the number of bi guys has exploded (at least here in Germany). 

[ICLDXU4HS]

I’ve used those apps for more than a decade and in recent years there absolutely has been a huge influx of men looking for female and/or feminine types exclusively and it can get frustrating when you’re just a regular gay on what’s supposed to be a gay dating app. I’ve viewed 5, 6, 7, 8 of such profiles in a row many times before at this point. 

[Katamari]

1 hour ago, Machete said:

Aren't 90% of them gay guys who just put "str8" on their profiles because it attracts more bottoms?

Right I swear it’s a fetish too

[boneyard]

9 minutes ago, katara said:

Right? 

 

Yall need to read better. I am just saying that the number of bi guys has exploded (at least here in Germany). 

My personal theory is that homosexuality in countries where it's been legalised (including marriage) has become so accepted to where being pro-LGBT in many spaces (particularly progressive ones) isn't seen as a virtue anymore but it's simply seen as normal, so that means more people feel more comfortable coming out or exploring their sexuality.

  

1 hour ago, meangreen11 said:

You’d think a generation of gays who grew up mostly insisting they were straight because it wasn’t ok at the time would understand this better. Sure they say they’re straight. I did too at some point lol. 

There's also a conversation to be had about inflexibility of categorising male sexuality when it's on one end of the spectrum. There is such a culture around how "contagious" male homosexuality is that it effectively follows a one drop rule-esque system, even by other queer people. The barriers to entry to be queer/gay is basically non-existent whereas everyone has strict purity standards for being straight when it comes to a man. I also think this affects the label of bisexuality (for men) as well. At least in my observation, the colloquial definition of bisexuality for men is to effectively be straight with homosexual tinges, or heterosexuality as the foundation with homosexuality as the accessory, as the inverse would automatically get you called gay; or in other words, heteroromantic and technically bisexual, but with an extreme bias towards the opposite sex with same sex attraction being an after thought.

 

I'd also argue many men in the closet who come out as "gay" are actually bisexual (homosexual in terms of sexual attraction but biromatic if not heteroromatic or could be the inverse) but because of the requirements to be seen by society of being straight or even bi to many degrees, they know subconsciously they'd be regarded as gay. 

If we observe female homosexuality, a woman can very easily call herself straight by having an overwhelming pattern of being with men but having few homosexual encounters with fellow women/having an occasional desire to sleep with women. That would get shut down so fast if a straight man said the same thing and you all would be calling him a closeted homo. 

[JohnWayneHolland]

I don't think they're straight  they just haven't come to terms with their sexuality

[M.R.]

I think most of them are just looking for trans or fem/CD types.

[Starfish]

1 hour ago, Badgalbriel said:

The guys saying they're bi on grindr are not bi. I know all the gays in my city and the str8 looking ones put that they're bi on grindr so it makes them more desirable. 

Is this real? Lots of gays are prejudiced against bisexuals and don't see them as relationship material. 

[izzyinsane]

They are ready to explore. A hole is a hole girls. 

[pigeon]

38 minutes ago, katara said:

Right? 

 

Yall need to read better. I am just saying that the number of bi guys has exploded (at least here in Germany). 

Where in Germany? Because I haven't realized such a thing.

[Beyonnaise]

21 minutes ago, boneyard said:

If we observe female homosexuality, a woman can very easily call herself straight by having an overwhelming pattern of being with men but having few homosexual encounters with fellow women/having an occasional desire to sleep with women. That would get shut down so fast if a straight man said the same thing and you all would be calling him a closeted homo. 

Yeah I don't know why the lines for men are still so rigidly enforced by gays. It helps to remember that these are just words at the end of the day.

 

If a man is willing to hook up with a man (especially discreetly) but never have a relationship with one, is he 100% "straight"? Obviously no. But I think this genre of person can still be classified "functionally" straight despite having bi tendencies when it comes to sex, because he will live a straight lifestyle where he goes on to marry a woman.

 

I personally don't consider this type of person "gay", because the capability of having a romantic relationship with someone of the same gender changes the dynamic completely. This type of person doesn't know how it feels to come out to people, to say "my partner/boyfriend", to wonder about the legality of your relationship when you travel etc. This person is essentially lives a straight lifestyle, just privately also has some same-sex encounters.

 

At the same time, bi men are valid. There are men who have relationships with both men and women, I know some myself. That's not really what I am talking about above though.

Edited April 27, 2023 by Beyonnaise

[Badgalbriel]

7 minutes ago, Starfish said:

Is this real? Lots of gays are prejudiced against bisexuals and don't see them as relationship material. 

Unfortunately yes. Many guys I know are 100% gay are saying they're bi on grindr because they think it makes them more attractive for sex. On Tinder, I don't know. I don't use that. But my boyfriend and I giggle whenever we recognize someone on grindr that we know is gay, saying they're bi there. 

[AMIT]

1 hour ago, Twilish said:

If i see someone putting “straight” in their profile I’m already turned off. They sound insufferable 

 

mte they are even worse than your average gay top (in my experience) that acts like a total jerk/douche thinking it makes them look manlier or something it's so pathetic and it really seems like it's the case with most of the ''tops'' I've encountered 

 

though nothing is worse than the bottom of the barrel married guys in there  jesus christ we truly are in hell

[brooklyndaddy]

2 hours ago, #Beautiful said:

theyre not straight, never been. just because someone says theyre something that doesn't make it true

I think OP means men who are attracted to trans women. Obviously sexuality is a spectrum though, yes. But men looking to date woman are generally considered straight. 

[#Beautiful]

4 minutes ago, brooklyndaddy said:

I think OP means men who are attracted to trans women. Obviously sexuality is a spectrum though, yes. But men looking to date woman are generally considered straight. 

most of them are looking for fem looking cisgender gay men or transgender women who haven't yet had their transition surgery. i know this because my close personal "straight" friend is one of them

[Bacardo Royale]

44 minutes ago, boneyard said:

My personal theory is that homosexuality in countries where it's been legalised (including marriage) has become so accepted to where being pro-LGBT in many spaces (particularly progressive ones) isn't seen as a virtue anymore but it's simply seen as normal, so that means more people feel more comfortable coming out or exploring their sexuality.

  

There's also a conversation to be had about inflexibility of categorising male sexuality when it's on one end of the spectrum. There is such a culture around how "contagious" male homosexuality is that it effectively follows a one drop rule-esque system, even by other queer people. The barriers to entry to be queer/gay is basically non-existent whereas everyone has strict purity standards for being straight when it comes to a man. I also think this affects the label of bisexuality (for men) as well. At least in my observation, the colloquial definition of bisexuality for men is to effectively be straight with homosexual tinges, or heterosexuality as the foundation with homosexuality as the accessory, as the inverse would automatically get you called gay; or in other words, heteroromantic and technically bisexual, but with an extreme bias towards the opposite sex with same sex attraction being an after thought.

 

I'd also argue many men in the closet who come out as "gay" are actually bisexual (homosexual in terms of sexual attraction but biromatic if not heteroromatic or could be the inverse) but because of the requirements to be seen by society of being straight or even bi to many degrees, they know subconsciously they'd be regarded as gay. 

If we observe female homosexuality, a woman can very easily call herself straight by having an overwhelming pattern of being with men but having few homosexual encounters with fellow women/having an occasional desire to sleep with women. That would get shut down so fast if a straight man said the same thing and you all would be calling him a closeted homo. 

Worded it better than I ever could. Agree 100%