MoonGoodandHappy Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 (edited) I feel life is so sad... first of all, we live in a society where theres a lot of hate, homophobia, racism. Then, you have all these addictions that might kill us one day, every day is the same 95% of times because all we do is sleeping, eating, going to work and watching Netflix and then going on dating apps which will make us even more depressed but when you're gay, dating apps is the only solution to find love and all you find is creepy perverts, so you go on shitty dates, thinking you find love finally, it's beautiful for some days and then you got ghosted and reality hit you in the face, and you are even more depressed. You got ghosted after 1 or 2 months of relationship. We work at a job we dont really like, we feel like **** and are never really happy. You regret and feel shame after doing things because you were horny. What is "happinness" ? You try to find God but all you see is that you as a gay person , you "need to change" so you are never accepted. So you have nothing, not charming prince, no money, still your addictions, still your depression, still your bad habbits, feeling emotionally numb and then hoping every new year that your life will change. Nothing change, you just get older and even more depressed. I feel like life is only good is you're a rich white heterosexual person who was lucky enough to have good parents and beauty. Edited April 23, 2023 by MoonGoodandHappy
GipJo Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 Yes but also no. Just like the theme of Everything Everywhere All At Once, you have to find things that matter to you even though in the end nothing matters.
Cain Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 I mean it's a slippery slope, some days I do feel like this but then I also remind myself that we do have agency over our lives. For instance you can actively work to not waste your time on the internet (ironic as I'm writing this here) or Netflix but to spend it with friends or on hobbies or working on a craft. You can switch jobs, you can try new things. All of these things do take effort but that's the price you pay And yes falling in love is completely out of our control kinda, so I've stopped 'looking' for anything and I'm cool with the idea that it will come when it comes and if it doesn't that's fine too
illia Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 Yes, you are right but you should look for smaller things to be happy about and appreciate what you already gained/achieved, because some other people can only dream to have what you have
-mUsIcLoVeR- Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 5 minutes ago, Cain said: I mean it's a slippery slope, some days I do feel like this but then I also remind myself that we do have agency over our lives. For instance you can actively work to not waste your time on the internet (ironic as I'm writing this here) or Netflix but to spend it with friends or on hobbies or working on a craft. You can switch jobs, you can try new things. All of these things do take effort but that's the price you pay And yes falling in love is completely out of our control kinda, so I've stopped 'looking' for anything and I'm cool with the idea that it will come when it comes and if it doesn't that's fine too Hey. I'm feeling a little low, and I do believe that life is a mess, but this is very comforting. I definitely needed this, right at this very moment. Thank you.
Solaria Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 I feel like this a lot of times but I find bliss and joy in the small things like music, my favourite tv shows and movies, my friends, pop culture, animals, etc. And accepting that this is the best it’s gonna get and I can only make it more bearable for myself Please know you’re not alone in feeling this way. Your feelings are valid
Cain Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 5 minutes ago, -mUsIcLoVeR- said: Hey. I'm feeling a little low, and I do believe that life is a mess, but this is very comforting. I definitely needed this, right at this very moment. Thank you. It’s hard out there! I know it too. But I think that we have innate things that we are good at or we are attracted to. I try to make as much room in my life for those things as I possibly can (in my case it’s music and art)
getBusy Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 You have to change the things you don’t like. Hate your job? Find something you like or at least tolerate. Hate the apps? Log out. It takes time and it’s not easy, but the end result is worth it.
Zox Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 Yes, life is trash. That’s why get everything you want out of it as soon as possible!
shyboi Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 you just have to live your best life, is actually very easy when you think about it travel, meet new interesting people, focus on learning and getting the job that you are most passionate about, being healthy
Arrows Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 (edited) If you feel this way then go change your life. You’re the only person who can do something. Edited April 23, 2023 by Arrows
Twilish Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 Sis trust me when i say i know what you mean. Been getting over an ex for almost 2 years now so my love life has been pretty non existent and constantly feel like I’ll waste more years of my life etc with someone new. Still live at home and spend most of my days working and then coming home and playing video games. I have a great support system at home and a great friend group at least and try to remind myself everyday that there’s people that have it way worse than i do. Sure i might not be a millionaire etc but at least i have the option to try and become one, which a lot of people don’t even have that or a roof over their heads etc. it really is just a daily battle with perspective but life could always be worse so i try and stay thankful for what i have and what i can still accomplish if i just try. Sending positive vibes your way
apasionata Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 No and this is not my Lithium and SNRI Antidepressant speaking 🫣
kellysclarkson Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 Sounds like you're depressed if that's your outlook on life (which is very understandable given the daily pressures everyone is facing that mental illness is at an all time high). Get some kind of mental health help if you can.
Before Today Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 Life is truly what we make it to be. It is both ugly and beautiful. We just have to accept both sides, to feel free and be at peace. If you're sad, remember that everything in life is temporary. We just tend to focus on the bad sides that we forget to see the good sides. Count on those too. Regarding social/love life, I've been single for a month now and I'm the happiest of my life since the last two years, surprisingly! They say a man won't feel lonely when surrounded with ambitions/principles, and I'm constantly improving myself. Learning, reading, maintaining a healthier daily routine etc. I visit places by myself, spend time more with friends, make new friends along the way. Don't fret too much on "finding love". If you enjoy your own company first, then I believe the right people will come along the way. Good luck sis! I personally, rather than feeling sad or hopeless in life. I feel more BORED. But I try to find ways to entertain myself and switch things up for fun.
Before Today Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 6 minutes ago, Twilish said: Sis trust me when i say i know what you mean. Been getting over an ex for almost 2 years now so my love life has been pretty non existent and constantly feel like I’ll waste more years of my life etc with someone new. Still live at home and spend most of my days working and then coming home and playing video games. I have a great support system at home and a great friend group at least and try to remind myself everyday that there’s people that have it way worse than i do. Sure i might not be a millionaire etc but at least i have the option to try and become one, which a lot of people don’t even have that or a roof over their heads etc. it really is just a daily battle with perspective but life could always be worse so i try and stay thankful for what i have and what i can still accomplish if i just try. Sending positive vibes your way I have one friend who's never been in a relationship but I admire her because it seems like she is busy and entertained with her own world and passion. Something I lack, I get bored easily so I have to be creative to find ways entertain myself Speaking of video games, what game do you play? I used to play a lot JRPGs, survival horror back in the day but even video games bore me now. 15 minutes ago, shyboi said: you just have to live your best life, is actually very easy when you think about it travel, meet new interesting people, focus on learning and getting the job that you are most passionate about, being healthy 48 minutes ago, Cain said: And yes falling in love is completely out of our control kinda, so I've stopped 'looking' for anything and I'm cool with the idea that it will come when it comes and if it doesn't that's fine too Preach 57 minutes ago, GipJo said: Yes but also no. Just like the theme of Everything Everywhere All At Once, you have to find things that matter to you even though in the end nothing matters. An iconic movie! I remember watching this at a hotel with my ex during our anniversary
Likingstars Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 I understand what you feel completely but also keep in mind that perspective is important. Yes life is pointless and miserable and saf but since you’re at it maybe try to have fun in the meantime? It’s hard to change the way we think about life so that’s why people go to therapy and work on themselves.
Kayseri Mantisi Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 Today I turned 20 and it's so sad that I can relate to some of these already... Let's hope the sun will show us the path
Cain Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 Also I loved this video, it talks about how life is not a road, it's a dance. And you don't perform a dance just to get to the end of it, you perform a dance for... the dance itself. It essentially talks about how there is no liveable moment but right now, the past is gone and the future is out of our reach. So we're going to have to come to terms with the fact that we need to experience life in this moment
CandleGuy Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 2 hours ago, MoonGoodandHappy said: I feel life is so sad... first of all, we live in a society where theres a lot of hate, homophobia, racism. Then, you have all these addictions that might kill us one day, every day is the same 95% of times because all we do is sleeping, eating, going to work and watching Netflix and then going on dating apps which will make us even more depressed but when you're gay, dating apps is the only solution to find love and all you find is creepy perverts, so you go on shitty dates, thinking you find love finally, it's beautiful for some days and then you got ghosted and reality hit you in the face, and you are even more depressed. You got ghosted after 1 or 2 months of relationship. We work at a job we dont really like, we feel like **** and are never really happy. You regret and feel shame after doing things because you were horny. What is "happinness" ? You try to find God but all you see is that you as a gay person , you "need to change" so you are never accepted. So you have nothing, not charming prince, no money, still your addictions, still your depression, still your bad habbits, feeling emotionally numb and then hoping every new year that your life will change. Nothing change, you just get older and even more depressed. I feel like life is only good is you're a rich white heterosexual person who was lucky enough to have good parents and beauty. You have control over how you choose to view the circumstances in your life. There is a lot of homophobia, hate, and racism if that is what you choose to focus on. But there is a lot more support, love, and acceptance now than at any point in human history. If you aren't happy with your day to day, work towards changing it. If dating apps aren't making you happy, don't use them. If you are working a dead end job you hate, create a plan to do something more fulfilling. There are accessible certifications in every field (medical/nursing, veterinary, IT, etc). If you get ghosted or things don't work out with a guy, the universe has something better planned for you. His loss. I could go on, but the point is you that reality is subjective. Two people could have the exact same set of circumstances and feel completely different because they view things from different perspectives. It's up to you to create the reality you want and find your own happiness.
zasderfght Posted April 23, 2023 Posted April 23, 2023 (edited) I'd strongly suggest seeing a therapist for depression and possibly being open to medication for depression, as well as seeing a psychiatrist, if your therapist dubs it necessary to do so. I had the worst depression last year. I had to take off work, everything felt pointless/dull, and the confidence in myself was so dangerously low. Had I not gotten on Zoloft (an SSRI antidepressant) and continued with my therapy sessions, I would have either had suicidal ideations or penned an S-note. Therapy will allow you to retrain your brain to stop thinking negative-thought patterns, being mindful (literally examining/taking in what's happening now-- not what happened in the past or what's happening in the future), and allowing you to identify your triggers and either avoiding those, working through those in healthy ways (if they're unhealthy triggers, like being in a public place), and boundary-setting so that when you date, hookup, or just spend your time with people, you do things you feel comfortable with. A lack of boundaries, a negative outlook on life, and a reliance on other people to make you feel worthy/happy/fulfilled is a path I was down, and if I could get out of it, so can you. Also, I hear a lot of people on here complain about being single. While a relationship can be a great thing, it does not complete me as a person. Every day, I still have myself to live with. I have my own goals I have to meet. I am responsible for my own happiness and mental/physical health. My partner compliments my life-- he doesn't make it. Relationships are also a lot of work, compromising, etc. Enjoy your cute little dates while you can because sharing your life with another person doesn't come without its challenges. And they WILL be exposed to your insecurities and your day-to-day reality, so if you don't love the person you are, it'll be tough to juggle that and loving/satisfying your partner. As someone who has chronic pain, if I can find a way to still enjoy life, so can you. Book that therapy appoint, book that psychiatrist appointment, cut out the booze/weed as much as you can, try to be outside a bit more, be open to being medicated, do self-care (staying hydrated, staying mobile, supplementing with the B vitamins and D), keep your friends/family close, etc. You're not the first to go through this. We've been here before. You'll be fine. Edited April 23, 2023 by zasderfght
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