news Woman leaves boyfriend because he got cancer, writes article about how great she is

[mystery]

The Telegraph: ‘I loved my fiancé, but after his brain cancer diagnosis I knew I had to leave him’
 

On September 8 2022, the day the Queen died, my life changed forever. This is because it was also the day I found out that my partner of two years, Jelle (pronounced ‘Yella’) Fresen, at the age of 37, had stage four brain cancer. 
 

“I’m really sorry,” said the neurologist, “but your scan suggests a malignant stage-four brain cancer called medulloblastoma.” As soon as I heard these words delivered to my fiancé, I knew the future we had planned out was over. It had disappeared in a matter of seconds.
 

Both of us broke down in tears. But while I went to pieces and remained a mess for a long time afterwards, Jelle was remarkably strong and calm. He never once said, “Why me?” or “It’s not fair.” His attitude was: “These are the cards I’ve been dealt and I just have to get on with it.”
 

But I knew then I could not stay with him. Watching helplessly as he got sicker and sicker over the preceding three months had been bad enough, but the uncertainty the diagnosis brought was just too much for me. I spent many sleepless nights researching, trying to find a miracle cure or a story with a good outcome but all I could find was uncertainty and bleak statistics. Not only was there a significant chance of the cancer returning in the future but there was the possibility of long-term and sometimes delayed side-effects from the radiotherapy and chemotherapy treatment on his brain.
 

They warned me not to tell him my decision at least until after his surgery. So I went to stay at my mother’s and in late September Jelle went into hospital for a 17-hour operation to remove the tumour. At 4am I finally received a call from the surgeon: Jelle was out of the operating theatre and was talking and moving his arms and legs. But he’d also been left with some quite severe brain damage, and had to get used to living with disabilities. He had double vision and paralysis on the right side of his face. 

He also had motor skills issues and had to learn how to write and walk again. Despite all this, he has coped amazingly well. Me, less so.

Edited April 21, 2023 by mystery

[Zox]

People are truly unhinged. She’s deserving of all the lashings she’s getting 

[Otter]

Honestly I don't think the article is that bad, it's just the framing.

 

She's not claiming to be a great person and she's trying to raise awareness and support. 

 

She wasn't strong enough to weather the hardship, I don't think there's anything evil about that. 

 

Glad he survived and they're still friends

Edited April 21, 2023 by Otter

[UnusualBoy]

She's garbage man, no other word can describe her better.

[mystery]

1 minute ago, Otter said:

Honestly I don't think the article is that bad, it's just the framing.

 

She's not claiming to be a great person and she's trying to raise awareness and support. 

 

She wasn't strong enough weather the hardships, I don't think there's anything evil about that. 

 

Glad he survived and they're still friends

She left him during the hardest time of his life and made it all about how terrible it was to feel bad because of his cancer. She also waited until he was done with surgery and in a horrible state to tell him the news. Then she also goes on to complain how hard it will be for her to run the marathon in his honor because she can't run as much as he was able to.

 

[UnusualBoy]

4 minutes ago, Otter said:

Honestly I don't think the article is that bad, it's just the framing.

 

She's not claiming to be a great person and she's trying to raise awareness and support. 

 

She wasn't strong enough to weather the hardship, I don't think there's anything evil about that. 

 

Glad he survived and they're still friends

She's basically milking his disgrace, she's nothing but a narcissist garbage woman. She could've just let him and call it a day but no, she ran to get an article write about it and how much she suffered during that time and ish like *****, pls...

[dabunique]

Complete and utter trash

[Pheromosa]

If she could not handle it then she did do the right thing for herself. 

Not sure why this needed an article though. 

[Gladiator]

**** before the shovel, as they say.

[Mitsouko]

A loved one is battling cancer and I can't imagine thinking the way she does. idk. This was a bummer.

[WEEKND]

Why is she sharing this?

 

edit I just saw the last sentence. What a vile effing c*nt

[Tusk]

The only person you need to protect is yourself. 

[mypaintoyou]

Karma comes around

 

[Happylittlepunk]

She deserves all the lashings why the **** would she write about this in public? She clearly wanted attention etc. now she got it but probably not the way she thought she would get. 

[TaggedGalaxy]

The internet is eating her ass up, she was getting dragged all over YouTube and Reddit. She a selfish narcissist and deserves all the backlash she's getting

[imabadkid]

OMG this is AWFUL.

[Margaux]

making it all about herself. narcissistic *****

[AvadaKedavra]

Just stay silent Girl. She's evil 

[The Next Day]

21 minutes ago, Pheromosa said:

If she could not handle it then she did do the right thing for herself. 

Not sure why this needed an article though. 

This, like what was she supposed to do? Forcing herself to stay? She would've started to hate him. She did the adult thing to break up. You don't need people by your side who don't want to be there.

 

As for the article, the execution is bad. I feel like there isn't enough debate around family members and friends of very ill people. Those people go through traumatic times as well and yet are shamed when they vent about being stressed. Relatives and friends need a support system as well. It's a good topic, but it shouldn't just be about her. 

Edited April 21, 2023 by The Next Day

[getBusy]

Alternative headline for this article: "I'm a piece of ****, and here's why"

[getBusy]

3 minutes ago, The Next Day said:

This, like what was she supposed to do? Forcing herself to stay?

So you think it's ok to get engaged to someone you're NOT going to support if they get sick? Yikes. I truly hope you never have to face that.

[Otter]

10 minutes ago, mystery said:

She left him during the hardest time of his life and made it all about how terrible it was to feel bad because of his cancer. She also waited until he was done with surgery and in a horrible state to tell him the news. Then she also goes on to complain how hard it will be for her to run the marathon in his honor because she can't run as much as he was able to.

 

 

17 minutes ago, UnusualBoy said:

She's basically milking his disgrace, she's nothing but a narcissist garbage woman. She could've just let him and call it a day but no, she ran to get an article write about it and how much she suffered during that time and ish like *****, pls...

I feel like a lot of you do not know how these articles come about.

9/10 times the journalists (In this case Gwyneth Rees) finds out about a potential story (i.e  a facebook post goes viral) and approaches interviewee, saying something loosely like "would you be willing to talk to us about your experience with this topic" vague framing and under the guise it'll dealt with sensitively.

The woman in question didn't write the article. like the opening line is literally "A woman running the London Marathon for her ex-boyfriend has admitted she left him because she couldn't cope with his cancer battle." It's third person

They gather selective quotes about her experience, they interviewed both her and the ex partner (he expresses support for her). And they weave it under their headline and selected pictures to frame it in a way of their picking. 

I can't imagine what its like to be either party, but leaving your boyfriend at their most vulnerable is obviously dishonourable but at the same time... 
'I was having panic attacks and was on so much medication to sort myself out I just couldn't function.' 
... Being present isn't necessarily better if you yourself become a problem and they have others to support them.

[popmusicisdead]

people's narcissism know no bounds 

[airplane]

She’s truly sick in the head, not only for dumping him but also capitalising on his trauma. 

[Theshigo Washidu]

mess