discussion Is it fatphobic to tell someone they should lose weight?

[Bloodflowers.]

Yes, stop normalising skinny beauty

[illia]

If they didn't ask for your opinion or advice, then yes

[Devin]

Depends on the person and how its addressed. 
 

If its a doctor or concerned fam/friend for health purposes, thats not fatphobic.

[cockatoo]

Girl that's just rude. Always remember if they can't fix it in 5 minutes don't bring it up. Like if someone's shoelace is undone or their shirt is untucked yeah tell them, but otherwise keep it to yourself.

[GentleEarthquake]

No 

[cockatoo]

53 minutes ago, Legend E said:

also that person probably knows all that OP, but it is not as easy as it seems to lose weight  hearing those things over and over again doesn't help

Yeah like you're not giving them any new information, they've definitely been told that before  We're all our own biggest critics after all

[Яeo.]

The only scenario were the answer will be no if the friend approaches you and says “I’ve made my mind and decided to lose my weight. Can you support me through this process?” 
 

You never know what someone is going though. People only share a fraction of their emotions. They could be thinking about this 24/7 and this simple comment could reaffirm what they’re thinking, and ruin their whats left of their confidence and motivation for who knows how long.

In my personal life, I would always encourage my friend to pursue healthy habits but also not pressure them on it if they’re not there mentally - As long as its not effecting me.

 

If your friend is fat and having a hard time getting dates, then the answer shouldn’t be to lose weight. A lot of in shape and skinny people have problem dating, while a lot of fat people are in a happy and stable relationship. It all boils down in being content with your life decisions and looking in the right places. 

[truthteller]

let your friend stay plus sized all he/she/they wants then

[Quiqui4eva]

It’s rude if you said it as a throwaway blanket statement. If you’re truly concerned about their health, i’d at least be specific about what to do, how to eat, etc. and relate it to yourself in some way so they don’t feel like you’re talking AT them. 

[Badgalbriel]

Why the heck would you comment on another person's weight tho? 

[burninredhot]

Yes if they seem like they're ok with being fat it's better to just mind your bussiness

[CottageHore]

I mean it depends. Who are you to give nutritional or physiological advice to someone? If you were their doctor with whom they consulted, then of course you, as a trained and certified doctor, should advise them to lose weight in order to improve their health. 

 

But you can’t tell a friend to change their body in any kind of way without expecting them to react defensively, even if what you said wasn’t intended to be pejorative. 
 

You’re in no position to comment on someone else’s body, especially in a way that highlights a deficit or suggestion for alteration. It’s not fatphobic necessarily, but it is rude and counterproductive and perhaps shows your lack of social thinking skills. 

Edited April 16, 2023 by CottageHore

[Cain]

Why would you say that to someone

[brooklyndaddy]

35 minutes ago, Bloodflowers. said:

Yes, stop normalising skinny beauty

And why should we normalize obesity? 

[EnigmaticAndroid]

47 minutes ago, yesmine said:

It depends on the delivery of it. If it's really hurting their health and could potentially lead to complications then you absolutely should.

 

44 minutes ago, Tylerbv said:

If its unprompted, its definitely rude. If they ask for advice and they’re overweight, it’s a tough thing to say but not rude.

 

There's a difference between offering advice in good faith and trying to justify rudeness. There's also a lot of people who hide behind HeAlTh because they don't like big people aesthetically.

[perfillusion]

Normally, yes it is.
 

But it depends on the situation. If your overweight friend tells you their doctor told them they have really high blood pressure etc and shares that info with you, then it's fine to suggest losing weight.

[WitnessOblivia]

Depends on how you say it. If they ask you a question related to that topic and you respond in a respectful way there's nothing wrong with it

 

[Vixen Eyes]

yes. nobody on earth likes to be called fat, at any point in history

[MonsterTown]

no, if the reason is to help.. is not fatphobic if you tell a friend, a family member do it because of health reason, or if they feel depressed... if you tell someone to lose weight just to look "skinny" because she is going to look "good" according to society standard .well

[Zoomer]

No. 

[Negev]

If the term "fatphobic" comes out of your mouth then you're probably fat. It's a bummer

[ariananext]

I think it's just inappropriate unless you're close. If you're telling it to someone you're very close to and they're experiencing health issues because of their weight it's a different issue. 

[madonnas]

I used to be heavier and honestly losing weight has solved a lot of problems in my life if I’m being honest? But yes it’s fatphobia. That’s just not the type of advice that’s really ever going to help or be productive.  I understand they might have asked for advice, and it seems like you’re coming from a good place but best practice is to not talk about others weight.  

[Gladiator]

Not everything is -phobic or an expression of -phobia, but this is also something I don't consider to be appropriate or someone's business/concern in most circumstances.

Edited April 16, 2023 by Gladiator

[Navy4Life]

Fatphobia is not a real thing, so no.