discussion Is It Racist if You Don't Prefer to Date Other Race?

[ProudLBS]

Yet another thread about this topic 

 

2 hours ago, Likingstars said:

Most marriages happen within the same race. It’s ok if you only date within your race, and have a preference, but to say that you’re not into one specific race for example is racist 

this

[suneclipse121]

I knew someone who specifically said that they would not date a dark skinned black man but a light skin one was ok. He was Latino. I was shook because he said it so casually and it was blatantly racist/colorist  I think it’s a bit problematic to dismiss an entire race from your dating pool and that’s coming from someone that’s iffy on the idea of talking/dating a white man. So I need to check myself on that. 

[Prince Tommy]

Well, yeah. It means you're assuming universally or near universally negative traits about an entire race or races of people based on ignorance of the reality of diversity that exists in and between all races, which are majorly social and not biological constructs.

 

Like many prejudices, these kinds of things tend to fall apart with scrutiny. What I often see happen when people try to defend this is like, them pointing out a trait that they would actually quite easily excuse in a person of their own race, or they unearth some other biases and assumptions that are just unfounded in the process.

So that's my advice, do some self-reflection about your biases and 'preferences'. If you are unwilling to do that self-reflection, you might also consider why you're reluctant to do so - is it to prove some people on the internet wrong, is it aggressive self assuredness that you are Not Racist, what is it?

 

[Janet]

It's more racist to be entirely dismissive of another race e.g. saying "I'm not attracted to _______ " than to have a preference for your own race 

[DawnAnti]

No he just has a type 

[Afterglow]

3 hours ago, MingYouToo said:

Exactly. When you come from a country/community in which all people look like you, its harder for you to acclimate to being actively friendly and intimate to people who don't look like you. It doesn't mean you're racist, you just need more exposure to other communities of people and I think its time people need to accept that.

No that just means you're dumb. Sorry not sorry.  if you live in a first world country with television, magazines, internet, etc you're silly if you can't acclimate yourself with others based on their race and most certainly a closet racist. 

[Alaska.]

"Oh this person is great, I just don't like how dark/pale they look"

 

It's not racism, it's colorism

[bliaz]

3 hours ago, Erotic said:

I’m Mexican and I don’t touch latino men, is that racist? 

No, that's not having taste 

 

jk 

[GreatestLoveofAll]

A lot of people who do this are at least prejudice. For example, a lot of black folks  I know dont mess with white people because they view hem as uncultured and just too different to adapt to them and their lives and culture. Also, seeing what some of the Caucasian race do, I dont blame them (though it doesnt stop me from getting me one). 

 

I want to say that it really depends on the motives of the person. People of color reject primarily white people is a lotttt different than the vice versa. The real silent issue be the people of color who reject other peoples of color because of the deep-rooted discrimination they grew up around and being taught in their homes.

[Guest]

@LoudCitySong 

[blackoutbaby]

2 hours ago, JustHoran said:

They aren't saying they wouldn't date someone because of their race.

 

They said they aren't ATTRACTED to a certain race. Maybe they haven't seen anyone in that race they are attracted to yet, they didn't say they wouldn't.

How can you not be attracted to an entire race when you haven’t seen every member of that race? You’re assuming physical characteristics present in some members of said race are present in every member by saying you aren’t attracted to a certain race.

And above all, it’s exclusion of someone based on race which is quite literally the textbook definition of racism.

[Not Like The Movies]

In most cases, yes. 

[airplane]

I find it hard to believe people who only date people from one specific race when attractive people exist in every race so.. yeah.

[HausofArtpopII]

Depends.

 

i have my opinions but its not racist, at least id say just prejudiced, ill admit im kinda prejudiced since ill never date white men again cuz of the bad experiences ive had with them, id just prefer dating someone who can relate to some of my struggles.

 

ive been seeing alot of people mention fetishization, and... eh idk that whole subject i just dont get since its so weird like why fetishize a race thats so... 

[KnightOfAllRealms]

Definitely. Race preferring twinks should be jailed as hate crime 

[vale9001]

 

 

"if you prefer to not date others race" it is by definition I guess.

 

 

but finiding some races more attractive than others is not. This is in general, then you can find attractive a specific person of every race.  

Edited April 6, 2023 by vale9001

[A.R.L]

If they think all people from that specific race would be all the same and it’s  impossible to fall in love with someone from that race, then yes that’s racist, but if the judgment is personal, it’s about a specific person from a specific race, that’s not racist.

 

Usually, I find mixed couples more happier and hotter. 

[velocity]

preferences are completely normal and most people prefer their own race. there's nothing racist about it and anyone who says otherwise is delusional

[Bang Up]

It's nuanced.

 

"I'm not attracted to that Asian man" isn't racist.

"I'm not attracted to Asian men" is racist.

 

When you group all people of a race together, you are saying they're all the same, or in this case they all look the same. That is racist.

[Ms. Togekiss]

5 hours ago, family.guy123 said:

What YouTubers are doing that

White guys, sorry I just realized that wasn’t very clear 

[TaggedGalaxy]

6 hours ago, Erotic said:

I’m Mexican and I don’t touch latino men, is that racist? 

Latino covers a broad spectrum of different people and races

[apasionata]

I get off to Usher in a heartbeat yet I'm still to be attracted to a black man I encountered irl. Go figure.

[LikeATattoo]

5 hours ago, suneclipse121 said:

I think it’s a bit problematic to dismiss an entire race from your dating pool and that’s coming from someone that’s iffy on the idea of talking/dating a white man. So I need to check myself on that. 

I somewhat agree. I believe that openness to all generally results in a more fruitful existence, but I also see nothing overly wrong with just not being attracted to certain races in the general sense. Like, I generally don’t find white guys physically attractive. Some of the darker, more Mediterranean/Middle Eastern-looking ones are kind of okay, but even then…meh.
 

Having said that, I still would never, ever outright stonewall the idea of being with a white guy because I know that there are exceptions to most rules, especially when it comes to attraction/romance. I’m just very opposed to blindly limiting oneself tbh.

 

On the flip side, I don’t believe that it’s fair or productive to chastise people who are rigid and unwavering in their tastes. This trend of shaming people for not being attracted to particular races/phenotypes is very disturbing to me, and smacks of entitlement.

[Pacify Him]

11 hours ago, family.guy123 said:

That’s culture, not race 

I wouldn’t generalize it all down to culture, that sounds a bit more racist  when I say customs and manners, I’m talking about how they live their lives. Some races just lean towards acting a certain way

[Cyanide]

Why does this topic keep getting regurgitated in every gay space

 

People will date who they want ultimately

 

i think it is rooted in racism but that’s just the world we live in. The years of virtue signaling haven’t changed that.
 

People who say things like “I don’t like x race” just have a lack of exposure to others I guess…