discussion Humans aren't made to be monogamous

[Lara Croft]

24 minutes ago, Redstreak said:

Then wouldn’t it be too short to keep your emotional bond to one person?

No, you can be with someone you really love, but still want something more sexually. That’s why most people cheat, they don’t want to let go of the person they have a good thing with, but they want to be sexually adventurous and act on lust and turn to desire, like Caroline Polachek. If we as society acknowledge that we’d have less cheating problems. 

[GraceRandolph]

2 minutes ago, MadonnasBoyfriend said:

He's right. You'll never find a monogamous gay couple these days imo. The way they get bored of each other quick and wanna open up their relationship to grindr hook ups. It won't last.

It might be common for gays to be in open relationships, but there’s still some monogamous couples and a **** ton of monogamous lesbian couples. I find this whole push for polyamory to be so self-serving, and so many polyamorous people act like they are more evolved than monogamous people. 

[PopKills]

40 minutes ago, Lara Croft said:

I feel like the perfect relationship is one where you can have a monogamous emotional bond, and connection for life, but should be free to have sex with whoever you please. Life is too short to only have sex with one person forever. 

Pretty much this.

 

In the end it’s all about trust and how comfortable each partner feels with it tho. 

[MadonnasBoyfriend]

7 minutes ago, GraceRandolph said:

It might be common for gays to be in open relationships, but there’s still some monogamous couples and a **** ton of monogamous lesbian couples. I find this whole push for polyamory to be so self-serving, and so many polyamorous people act like they are more evolved than monogamous people. 

I feel those who do not want or need to be in a romantic relationship would be further evolved than all of those couples you mentioned  😎

[Redstreak]

14 minutes ago, Lara Croft said:

No, you can be with someone you really love, but still want something more sexually. That’s why most people cheat, they don’t want to let go of the person they have a good thing with, but they want to be sexually adventurous and act on lust and turn to desire, like Caroline Polachek. If we as society acknowledge that we’d have less cheating problems. 

And you can also love more than one person because the expressions of love can differ between different people. I just find it interesting how some people want to hold onto emotional monogamy as if it isn’t usually intertwined with sexual monogamy

[JohnWayneHolland]

Both monogamy and polygamy are choices imo, but the truth is that humans (and all species tbh) can be attracted to multiple other humans at the same time, but it's up to every individual to choose if they want to spend the rest of their life with just one person or if they want to be able to fool around with multiple people.

It's true that monogamy was imposed by society/religion, but there's nothing wrong with wanting to be in a monogamous relationship, just like there's nothing wrong with being in an open relationship as long as both parties are aware and are ok with that.

[Arrows]

The reality is that humanity isn’t “made” to be anything, cause humanity wasn’t “made”. It evolved.

 

One thing that’s almost universal through time and every culture on the globe is monogamous relationships, however, which makes us rare as a species. It is even argued that this has been instrumental in our succes - couples staying together makes both of them responsible for the children, which makes it easier for it to pass on experience and knowledge to the next generation. Unlike, say, an octopus, which is a relatively smart animal but can’t pass on anything to their offspring.

[ninasayers]

53 minutes ago, Heldenzeit said:

The beauty of humanity is that we‘re intelligent enough to have the option to choose a path of life. This debate is nonsense. 

Simple as that. What a tired topic.

[PrettyHurts]

1 hour ago, James_Dean said:

Seems like something a cheater would say

Labeling people as “cheaters” and “non cheaters” isn’t really helpful. There are people who act on their desires and people who don’t. The problem is dishonesty about what you want. And it’s not true that it’s impossible for someone to stop being dishonest. People can grow and change 

[WitnessOblivia]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and we're still very happy (and monogamous). 

I agree with what others have said, it's a choice. We aren't 'made' to do anything. I mind my business, they mind theirs. 

Edited March 29, 2023 by WitnessOblivia

[Haze]

Biology doesn't know teleology, there is no destined to be. Of course you can be monogamous, but it is a choice that needs to be made anew every time. Humans are desiring beings, at some point you will desire someone else and there's nothing wrong with that, it's up to you how to define your relationship in how to deal with. For some that means opening up, for others sharing your desires with your partner (which doesn't mean acting on them!), ... I do believe that an inability to speak about the Other and the desires they create is ultimately detrimental for any relationship.

[no_better]

If you want to define humanness purely based on biology, maybe

 

But there is nothing purely biological about living in the contemporary world, and so such arguments are more or less redundant

[Breakdown]

Personally, I dream of finding that one partner and staying with them for life and I wouldn't want it any other way. I don't care if it's delusional or not but I can't imagine anything else for me. Both emotionally and sexually (except Niall Horan comes around ofc).

[Into The Void]

Personally I am monogamous 

 

But people can do what they want

[Witchpop]

I don't care what anyone does in their relationship. For me, personally, I am monogamous and only one to be with one person.

[LoveInStereo]

******* be like “monogamy isn’t natural” while having non-procreative sex. Get real! Nothing in the modern world is normal

[Revolution]

Humans aren't made to be anything  Do what you want.

[Joyride]

1 hour ago, Heldenzeit said:

The beauty of humanity is that we‘re intelligent enough to have the option to choose a path of life. This debate is nonsense. 

and that's on that

[iknowplaces]

 

1 hour ago, Lara Croft said:

No, you can be with someone you really love, but still want something more sexually. That’s why most people cheat, they don’t want to let go of the person they have a good thing with, but they want to be sexually adventurous and act on lust and turn to desire, like Caroline Polachek. If we as society acknowledge that we’d have less cheating problems. 

Society acknowledged that with the concept of open relationships. 

 

However, for some people like me, sex and love is closely connected and I cannot have sex with people who I'm not emotionally invested/in love with. And would be fine to spend my short life having sex with one person.

[Joyride]

27 minutes ago, Witchpop said:

I don't care what anyone does in their relationship. For me, personally, I am monogamous and only one to be with one person.

exactly! you chose to be monogamous and that's the beauty of life, getting to pick what you want.

[Arrows]

1 hour ago, JohnWayneHolland said:

It's true that monogamy was imposed by society/religion

 

42 minutes ago, no_better said:

If you want to define humanness purely based on biology, maybe

Not really true, though - humanity has been mainly homogenous for millions of years. Some studies actually indicate that humanity has gotten increasingly polyamourous in the past few thousand years only.

[Peroxide]

I’m an open relationship and me and my partner are perfectly happy.

 

Theres no “right” way to approach a relationship… it’s all about what works for you and your partner.

[Donquizote]

Yes, we aren't made to be in monogamous relationship but that doesn't mean we don't want monogamous relationship with our partner

 

 

Edited March 29, 2023 by Donquizote
edit

[family.guy123]

2 hours ago, Delirious said:

Cheaters always cheat...it's literally in their DNA.

 

I've NEVER heard of a cheater that stopped cheating (unless they were caught that badly)

How would you know 

[Robert]

These guys are just trying to justify their cheating which is not polyamory but just lying to their partners by the sounds of it. There’s plenty of gay couples in monogamous relationships and it’s a perfectly valid and realistic expectation.