fountain Posted January 27, 2023 Author Posted January 27, 2023 1 hour ago, worldwide angel said: done! Greatness takes time thank you!
fountain Posted January 27, 2023 Author Posted January 27, 2023 I’ll be posting the challenge for round 2 tomorrow 🤖 This is quite a creative one but I will try my best to outline and explain it clearly so that you can all generate something beautiful from it 🖼️ Until then we’ll be working on our judging and reviews ahead of Sunday’s results for round one, thank you to everybody that has submitted!
Hug Posted January 27, 2023 Posted January 27, 2023 17 hours ago, fountain said: Omg @Hug has always wanted a song written about him Not the insinuation that I'm a Gaga stan...this slander!
ATRL Moderator Element Posted January 27, 2023 ATRL Moderator Posted January 27, 2023 i've actually sent new year new me
Aurora Posted January 27, 2023 Posted January 27, 2023 11 minutes ago, Element said: i've actually sent new year new me Fantastic news to wake up to! Going to commence my reviews shortly.
beatinglikeadrum Posted January 27, 2023 Posted January 27, 2023 My entry was so rushed. I cant even... Flop
Hug Posted January 27, 2023 Posted January 27, 2023 Oh, I want to say I did start my reviews! I hope to have them finished sometime tomorrow, but we'll see.
Aurora Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 Approximately halfway through my reviews. This season is already starting off nicely! Going to have some lunch, then finish the remaining entries. Stay tuned!
fountain Posted January 28, 2023 Author Posted January 28, 2023 The songs of Round 1, the New Year’s challenge: Julia Fox - Free (World’s Prettiest B*tch) XO_Life - Agathist Legend E - Peace 8thPrince - New Year, New Me DatChickDoe - There’s No Going Back JoeAg - As the Gradient of the Sunrise Brings Us Closer to Epiphany mxtthewdelrey - Not again Euterpe - Anew Invisibility - For the Dearly Departed Remmy - Second Chance worldwide angel - into fruition beatinglikeadrum - The new beginnings. Element - the antonym TruGemini - Dreams Come True Thank you each for submitting! You can look forward to our reviews coming soon, the Round 2 post tomorrow, and Round 1’s results on Sunday.
Aurora Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 I should have reviews coming soon. Perhaps within the half hour? EDIT: My final reviews were longer than expected, should be up in 5-10 mins! (1:30 AM EST)
Aurora Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 Hey, Hitmakers! Thank you all for supporting and submitting for Round 1 of Golden Hit: Season 3! It's been a moment since I've written reviews, and I wanted to take a more dignified approach in GH3. If there is anything in your review that you do not wish to have public, I will remove it upon request. 1. @Julia Fox - “Free (World's Prettiest *****)” I enjoyed how much fun you appear to have had writing this, as showcased in your lyrical choices. I often find you excel when you dive into conceptually unique and adventurous themes. Comparatively, this theme is more straightforward radio pop, but I think you channelled the vibe you were going for well. This reads like a bratty, SUCKER (or XCX World, RIP) era Charli meets Bangerz era Miley demo, and I don’t mean that as a negative. There were lyrical highlights, like the playful, “I’m over it, don’t you understand it,” with the internal over/under opposition, and, “I’m dancing along with the first moon of the year,” which had some nice imagery that fit your song conceptually while also linking back to the New Year’s theme in a clever and visually striking way. 2. @XO_Life - “Agathist” I’m impressed by your decision to write a continuation or closing chapter to “Evilist”, which I consider one of your best. I recall critiquing your afterthoughts section as not impacting the song, but this is an apt follow-up. Your intro is a clever interpolation that helps this piece stand on its own. Your verses show promise, but don’t live up to their potential. Your third verse is strongest, both structurally and conceptually in relation to your song, while the others introduce new ideas and imagery that is pretty on the surface, but doesn’t feel grounded in this song. The gaslight lyric worked better in the original song, and feels too far removed in this form. I enjoyed your prechorus, it was simple and to the point, but the chorus was weaker due to the repetition of, “I became an Agathist,” forming half of it. I see the parallels between this and “Evilist”, but the latter didn’t have as much repetition of the titular lyric, had more body, and had a more engaging AABACCBC structure compared to this song’s ABACAD. Overall, this is a clever answer to the theme of leaving behind the past year’s negativity, and was enjoyable. Not as much so as its inspiration, but a welcome addition to your catalogue nevertheless. 3. @Legend E - “Peace” This was wonderful. I enjoyed reading something more stripped back and straightforward from you, as we’ve come to see some fantastical concepts and metaphors from you in seasons’ past. What works best here is the tangible emotion and relatability you’ve captured. The second verse is a shining example of this, and I wish we were permitted to share it because it truly is beautiful writing. Your chorus strikes a good balance between bridging your chosen theme and the challenge prompt, even if the last line is perhaps more blatant than it needs to be. Lyrically, my only other gripe is the last line of the third verse (“lift” would work better than “flick”, I believe), but I enjoyed the parallels between these two stanzas. This is a lovely beginning to your season, and I would encourage you to explore this more natural, almost slice of life style of writing further in the future. 4. @8thPrince - “New Year, New Me” Conceptually, this was unique and intelligently designed. The title caught me off guard as it suggested a rather linear song pertaining to life alignment, but fortunately this was anything but. I enjoyed how you tailored your references to the year’s end to be thematically cohesive with their respective verses (quarter four, round twelve etc.)—marvellous. I was unsure of the significance of “that girl” in the prechorus, and it was never expanded upon. If this was just to convey the language the witch might use to draw one in, something more general like, “the others had,” rather than, “that girl received,” may have worked better. The chorus is fine, albeit a little gimmicky. The verses and prechorus did a fantastic job of conveying your message without being too on the nose, while your chorus is almost like the ‘plot twist villain reveal’ that absolutely nobody saw coming. In fact, while trying to visualise it as an actual song, I struggled to picture it as being anything but sung by the anti-hero of a Dreamworks film during their introductory scene. Filling up your chorus with multiple synonyms for ‘witch’ really reinforced this visualisation for me—I picture villagers popping up and joining in with looks of melodramatic horror on their faces. This isn’t intrinsically a negative, as your writing obviously has a very strong visual element to it. The third and fourth verses (excluding the “three-hundred sixty-fifth rep” lyric which felt very forced) I enjoyed the most in this song because they were the most realistic and took me out of the show tune vibe for a moment. Really great contemporary songwriting. The bridge had a great focus, but its execution wasn’t up to par. Did you just try to rhyme “scientist” with “commit”? The outro was a logical conclusion to this piece, and I enjoyed the closing statement—although I do wonder why it took the narrator five years to realise the inevitably unsatisfactory endings weren’t worth the temporary highs. This is a longer review than most because I do see great potential in this particular piece, and it’s by no means a poor effort—but I believe your approach to and execution of this brilliantly creative concept missed the mark a little. 5. @DatChickDoe - “There’s No Going Back” This was short and to the point, which isn’t a problem when done well—and you have. Could this be expanded upon to improve it? Absolutely. The titular refrain was perfect, and this is proof that you don’t need to have a big chorus to have a strong central element. The weight it carries standalone actually makes it more powerful. The four verses are all solid, but I think having some more cohesion between them and some even longer lines to really juxtapose and emphasise the abruptness of the refrain could have been magnificent. I loved what you did with the, “A Veil of evil reflects a vile way to live,” lyric, what an amazing use of anagrams. Even considering its shorter length, this might actually be one of my favourites of yours. You’ve utilised your words well and written a striking, emotive piece about moving on from past negativity. Nicely done. 6. @JoeAg - “As the Gradient of the Sunrise Brings Us Closer to Epiphany” I had high hopes for this song from the title alone, and I wasn’t let down. Thank you. This has your signature JoeAg texture, yet it’s restrained in its lyrical choices just enough to be captivating without being convoluted, which is a territory some of your past offerings have fallen into. I’m not sure if you intended this, but I was visualising a rainbow gradient while reading your song: the red maple leaf; the orange of rebirth; the yellow sun; the green earth; the blue river; the cold indigo; and violet lovers soaring. You didn’t always spell it out as such, but I enjoyed this interpretation of mine. This song was complemented by your typical freeform style as the imagery of the symbolic sunrise spilling over the earth’s mountains, rivers, and cities in an irregular yet constant fashion was reflected in the song’s structure—or lack thereof. I completely agree with you that this is an epic opening statement for a new year, and also for Golden Hit, given your opening couplet, “Our year is golden, like the last of the raindrops, Softened and warming up on the leaf from a maple.” Lovely writing. 7. @mxtthewdelrey - “Not again” This was an overwhelmingly despondent song. While a fine angle to take for this prompt, I would have enjoyed it more if you'd included some vestigial shreds of optimism. Your closing couplet makes it quite clear the narrator has lost all hope, which doesn’t make for a very dynamic narrative. There are some peculiar word choices (phlegm, km) and syntax issues (facial muscle couplet) that detract, heightened due to this being a shorter entry of only eight stanzas. Your second and third stanzas were my favourite, particularly the latter—the January lyric was a true standout. I look forward to seeing what you bring to this tournament next. 8. @Euterpe - “Anew” Conceptually, this was at the level of 8thPrince’s entry—which is not a sentence I imagined I would be forming. I read your song once before reading the other information, and found it interesting you—like 8thPrince—were initially inspired by witches, when this challenge didn’t call for it. The monster connection wasn’t apparent to me upon first read either. I was trying to decide if it was a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, or simply a metaphor for change. I apologise for comparing your entries so much, but where I found 8thPrince’s entry was almost too direct at times, I found yours to be lacking any tangible information that would inform the reader this is a song written about a monster who transfers bodies over new years exactly. You mentioned a lot of mythology (lore) that you’d created for this creature and I would love to see you expand upon this and commit to it properly, perhaps in a future entry? This is a well-written song that satisfies the challenge, daring in its ambition but safe in its execution. I look forward to seeing your daring fully realised in the coming challenges. 9. @Invisibility - “For the Dearly Departed” This was another rather despondent song. I won’t compare it to mxtt’s too much as they really aren’t much alike. There were occasional similarities, however, particularly in your peculiar word choices or phrasings that conjured up some rather unpleasant imagery (“I smell with my wet throat,” being the key offender here, alongside “him-shaped”). Where this entry shines is the human element—your lived experience that comes through in these lyrics. Contrary to your fourth verse—of which I’ve already highlighted some issues—your third verse was my favourite in this song, and the lyric, “The gift of life has left the room,” was a highlight in this piece. I am sorry for your losses, but how inspiring to see you turn them into something poetic and meaningful. 10. @Remmy - “Second Chance” I see XO_Life isn’t the only writer to submit a continuation, interesting. On paper, a New Years’ continuation of your now holiday classic “Ghost of Christmas Past” sounds flawless, but there were a surprising number of flaws with this submission. Unfortunately, my biggest criticism of this song is the rhyming. Almost all of these rhymes are either far too elementary (“hero/zero”, Remmy?) or felt forced (“learn/re-earn”). There are some lyrics here which I couldn’t decipher, such as, “when last year rings, don't answer the call / I've got bricks and stone protecting my heart”—huh? The sentiment was definitely here, and it was a brilliant avenue for you to take, but its execution was not up to the standard of “GoCP”. Unlike the aforementioned, I didn’t get a lot of emotional resonance from this song. Had it been a more direct continuation, picking up right where “GoCP” left off, heading into the New Year with a slowly returning optimism, keeping the same narrative-driven style, this could have been truly something. As it stands, it feels too drastic of a change in the narrator’s personality. We know you’re a fantastic writer, and I can’t wait to give you a “second chance” to impress in the next round. 11. @worldwide angel - “into fruition” This was one of the more conceptually ambitious of the round, but I think you struck a decent balance between ambition and ambiguity where even though it wasn’t always clear what was happening, it still made sense. Personifying the New Year was definitely a unique take, and I think you’ve made it work well for the most part. Verse one feels as if it’s attempting to establish this personification, but in doing so not a lot actually happens in this verse beyond the underlying message of, “the new year has come again.” The prechorus has a better sense of movement, although the lyric, “strokes of my fluid,” was undoubtedly a little awkward to read at first. Your chorus is definitely a highlight, and encapsulates the mood and message of the song best. Your second verse is an improvement over the first, especially in terms of movement. Overall, this definitely retains the style of some of your past entries from Season 2, in a good way. I hope to continue to see your style develop. 12. @beatinglikeadrum - “The new beginnings.” I’m saddened to hear you didn’t have a very positive experience writing for this challenge, because ultimately I believe you’ve done alright. You set the bar pretty high for yourself with songs like “The King” and “C₁₃H₁₆N₂O₂”, but compared to your debut last season, “Cock-a-doodle-do”, this is definitely a stronger start to your season. Your verses are clearly the strongest part of this piece, but your chorus isn’t bad either, despite its simplicity. I believe it would make a wonderful pre-chorus actually, with a new chorus to come afterwards. There was some awkward imagery, such as “Even though this sound is boiling my veins,” I don’t think you’ve done nearly as poorly as you seem to believe you have. Perhaps for you, the next round can be a new beginning of sorts, too. 13. @Element - “the antonym” This was a pint-sized piece of perfection. It’s not even that small, I just felt like making an alliteration out of “pint-sized piece of perfection”. I would love to see this built upon with a prechorus, fourth verse, or bridge (not necessarily all of the above, but 1-2 extra sections would have elevated this entry) of the same calibre as your other sections, because these are all stellar. I love adventurous extended rhyme schemes, and you’ve made them work for all of your verses while only occasionally fumbling with a few minor syntax issues that can be chalked up to poetic licence. Verse two is absolutely your strongest (the only issue is “blank slate,” which could be improved to “empty slates” to match the flow and portrayals’ plural), and I wonder if that is perhaps due to you having the most personal stake in that one as per your other information? Nitpicks and suggestions aside, this is a very strong debut, and I’m glad you recognise how well you’ve done here. Brilliant submission! 14. @TruGemini - “Dreams Come True” I enjoyed this immensely. Rap songwriting is an oft underutilised style in Golden Hit and other ATRL writing tournaments prior, and possibly for good reason—it takes confidence and skill to even attempt to execute a really good rap verse, let alone a full-fledged rap song. I find it interesting that this song was written trying to let go of replicating the success of “Sweet Release”, because I was going to say this song is the closest you’ve come to reaching that high for me. Your opening lyric instantly caught my attention, and your sense of rhythm and flow are clearly evident, which are integral for rap songwriting. “At max capacity, ******* can't add to half of me, x'd out them ******* casually, they was used to subtracting me / I saw the fracturing, then I moved to the factoring, had a bit of a tangent and, realized I was just math to them,”—consider me exponentially impressed! Your second verse wasn’t as strong as your first—it fell into the trap of overdone themes in rap such as sex, drugs, cars, and money—I think you could have done something more interesting here to tie it back to the New Years’ theme like you did in the second half of this verse. Your dreams might come true yet, great work.
8thPrince Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 @AuroraThank you for the lengthy review, I've got a lot to think about! "That girl" is Cinderella, I wanted to compare the two deals, how Cinderella's transformation lasted until midnight, while the narrator's transformation lasts for a whole year
ATRL Moderator Element Posted January 28, 2023 ATRL Moderator Posted January 28, 2023 thank you @Aurora for the kind words!! i definitely agree that a song in this format could be expanded with another verse to support the concept. and you're completely right -- the second verse was the first one that i wrote for this! "they flood the gym for three weeks straight" was the catalyst line
Aurora Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 👁️ Golden Hi(n)t(s) 👀 🗣️⚔️ 💃✅ 👻🤍 🚫💡 💤🚶 🌃🌏 📥🌑 💵👶 🫵🚮 🥶🧊 ⬆️⏰ 1️⃣👫 💎💃 📤💔
Aurora Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 1 hour ago, 8thPrince said: @AuroraThank you for the lengthy review, I've got a lot to think about! "That girl" is Cinderella, I wanted to compare the two deals, how Cinderella's transformation lasted until midnight, while the narrator's transformation lasts for a whole year Ah, that detail does make sense in retrospect. I will say due to the godmother/witch in this story being tracked down in a shady backstreet rather than magically appearing before the protagonist, the connection to Cinderella's specific fairy godmother perhaps isn't as strong as intended. I do enjoy the idea of alluding to the temporary nature of Cinderella's gifts in comparison with a person's ability to adhere to their New Years' resolutions, but perhaps it was a little too indirect in this case. Then again, perhaps it's just me.
ATRL Moderator Legend E Posted January 28, 2023 ATRL Moderator Posted January 28, 2023 Not you giving me a 4, my panned era Joking, thanks a lot for the sweet review! I definitely enjoyed being a little more stripped back with this one!
Invisibility Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 Thank you judge Aurora! I definitely struggled to convey the physical and physiological world into some of my lines, but I'm happy that took some fulfilling lyrics from my song too
Hug Posted January 28, 2023 Posted January 28, 2023 9 hours ago, Aurora said: 👁️ Golden Hi(n)t(s) 👀 🗣️⚔️ 💃✅ 👻🤍 🚫💡 💤🚶 🌃🌏 📥🌑 💵👶 🫵🚮 🥶🧊 ⬆️⏰ 1️⃣👫 💎💃 📤💔 I've cracked half the code on these hints
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