Golden Hit: Season 3 📀 Congrats to TruGemini! ✨

[worldwide angel]

20 minutes ago, fountain said:

 

Round 3: Way of Water, part 1

still got a few left to go, just posting the ones that I already have finished so they don't have to wait. will post the remining ones as soon as they're done too!

 

@DatChickDoe - Graveyard Rain

It was a real shame seeing your ranking drop last week, but I’m here to say thankfully I think this song is a massive improvement! This piece does a much better job of showcasing your writing ability and is definitely overall a much more well written song in pretty much every way, I feel. Right off the bat I have to praise your imagery and descriptions here as I think you have thoroughly crafted a vivid picture here throughout the song and a vibe that is easy to take away from the song, with your dark descriptions of blood curdling, banshee screams, vicious claws and of course the overall image of the central graveyard and its rain. The treatment that this song received is exactly what I think was lacking from your last entry, all of these descriptors and usages of imagery really make the song feel alive and lift it up, which was what was missing from your last song I feel. It’s not necessarily just that this song is darker or more serious in theme but rather than this writing overall is a much better showcase of your talents for writing, and I believe that even with a song that deals with a lighter theme you can approach writing the song in the same way and imbue it with the same degree of illustration to really bring the song to life, so that’s a little bit of advice for the future, try to keep this same approach going in the future because I think it worked out great in this song! My only other pointer would be that I think this song could’ve had a bit more of a clearer narrative to it, although the imagery completely excels and paints a picture of this person and what they may be going to, I do think that it lacks a little bit of context to it, so while it conjures up these images we don’t really know the story behind it necessarily (why they are going through this, what it is that are going through, etc.), so that could be something that I think would’ve made this strong even stronger and could be something to think about for future entries. But, overall, this is a massive improvement over last round and definitely a return to form for you which is great to see, well done!

 

@Julia Fox - your sea destroyed me-like a tsunami

Oh Julia, first off, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. That is heart breaking.

But I have to commend you because even while going through that, you’ve managed to write this song, which is just beautiful. I definitely think this is one of your magnum opuses of what we have seen you write during Golden Hit, this is simply just a really melancholic, touching and vivid song. Your use of water imagery is really nice and covers a wide breadth of inspiration such as of course the sea and tsunamis as the title would suggest, but also more interesting water adjacent imagery such as islands, Atlantis, bathing suits, mermaids, and the moon, which overall help create a diverse imagery to your song which really pairs well with the water theme, as rather than just having 100% description of water after water after water, you’ve kept it very interesting by bringing in things associated with water while not continually mentioning water itself which I really enjoyed. I have to say emotionally I always find your songs pretty resonant but I do feel that this is definitely one of your most touching songs to date, the way you have described an unsuccessful endeavour with love here is really just simply well done and I do think you have a great skill for depicting and dissecting relationships in your writing, as I feel like some of your most memorable and impactful writing that we have seen has been in relation to this theme (perhaps because it is more directly inspiring or relatable to you? There is something about your relationship related songs that just feels so genuine. Perhaps something to think about). Overall I just found this to be a lovely but bittersweet song, and as a final note I loved the twist at the end which I found to be both equal parts entertaining yet also quite poignant in a way which left me with a smirk but also something to think about and ponder. Great job!

 

@Legend E - Dilute Me

Oh wow oh wow I absolutely love this concept… to actively try to dilute oneself in an attempt to be lesser, to tone yourself down and to not be “too much” is actually such a genius interpretation of the water theme WHEW! This is so good. It reminds me of Lorde’s Liability to me in a way because it is coming from the perspective of this narrator who feels they are too much, or has been told or lead to believe that they are too much, and their reflection upon this which I find to be a really interesting theme for a song (I love self analysing and self reflective lyrics!). What I like about this a lot is that is has that same fragility and that same worry that Liability has, but I feel you have also put your own spin on it and made it your own thing by also bringing in the ideas of self betterment and looking at this feeling while actually being in a relationship and asking the other person for help or for a chance to ~dilute~. Honestly the dilution concept is just honestly brilliant and the chorus took this idea and demonstrated it so well, particularly in the second and closing lyric of the chorus which I LOVE; I think this could’ve been a really hard concept to pull off and if done even slightly wrong it might make the song seem awkward and the idea not really spring to life, but I actually think you have pulled it off perfectly. What I also like from this is that it is probably one of your more hopeful or optimistic songs. Now, it still has a lot of depth because it is actively discussing and dealing with this person’s faults and insecurities, but I adore that you have chosen to give it more of a hopeful or possibility filled spin on it (even though it’s mostly the narrator kind of pleading, I think that shows that the narrator is aware that there IS a chance for hope) when it actually could have been easily taken down your usual dread/hopelessness route (which wouldn’t have been bad, but we love to see different tones and people trying different things), and I actually think ultimately it ends up feeling quite subtly beautiful to me (the way this narrator has some hope that this person can help them, the way that they trust this person to help them, it’s lovely). I think this entry has shown that you’ve been listening to the feedback you’ve been getting, while also staying true to your own type of writing, and this song felt like a great balance to me where you’ve managed to write about the topic and the frame of mind that you wanted, but also succeeded in putting more of an emotive spin on it. Overall, while I’ve enjoyed each of your entries this season, I actually think this is the most well rounded one thus far and I am hopeful to see that reflected in your score/ranking. Great job.

 

@beatinglikeadrum - Two Faces of The Water (Force of Nature)

Something that I feel is usually present in your writing, and something that I have come to love about it from what we have seen, is that you always manage to take these really interesting (and almost mythical feeling) ideas and pull them off really well; this song is no different and anything great example of this skill that you have. This is a really cool concept and I love the way that you have humanised and given the water elements of your song characteristics and personas which make them feel life like, whether human or deity (which is what I pictured them as myself because, as I say, I relate a lot of your writing and ideas as feeling quite mythical so it was very easy for me to picture these bodies of water and their spirits as being like water deities), or even just unknown force of nature. The way you pulled this off through showing the ways in which water can be both beautiful, giving and serene, yet also destructive, taking and uncontrollable was really strong and I think was a really good interpretation of the water theme this round because it's true that water can be some of the most beautiful stuff on the planet, and also some of the most dangerous, and I think you demonstrated that well. Lyrically as usually this was very grandiose and vivid, which have become synonymous with your entries for me, as usual you painted a really thorough and alluring picture of the world that this song comes from. 

 

@worldwide angel - just the same

Ooooh I really like the inspiration and the imagery here. Depicting water as emotion itself is a brilliant idea, both in the way that they are so easily affected and can change shape so easily, and also in the fact that they are innate inside of us (like, the fact that our bodies are composed literally of water and that our emotions can feel trapped inside us, like that water… so smart). Not only do I love the idea but the way you have eloquently portrayed it here, particularly with the “waves rise high to blood red skies” and “little droplets trickle down the shore” (which I took to be crying?) lines which took this idea and really made it a poignant showcase of how emotions are a part of us. The narrative here itself is beautiful, I mean it’s a simple one but sometimes those can hit the hardest and I think this is an example of what that does… I think a lot of people can relate to drowning out and masking our emotions, and the depiction of this in the song, and the eventual revelation that you should let yourself feel these emotions and be “submerged in every sentiment” is just a really simple yet beautiful message that we all know to be true and we all need to hear at times. This song fulfils that purpose excellently and is overall a wonderful interpretation of the water challenge. I do think the song could be expanded upon as there is certainly room for a bridge or further verses, however as you say this is a strong foundation for a song, and I love what is said here regardless. Really great job.

thank goodness you understood the droplets….shore line

[Euterpe]

@fountain Can you skip the line and just review @Element’s? I would like to read it.

[fountain]

2 hours ago, Euterpe said:

@fountain Can you skip the line and just review @Element’s? I would like to read it.

NO! 

 

 

okay, yes, just for you 

 
 



 

@Element - Heaven In The Deep
Ok THIS…. I was not expecting this… and you even wrote an explanation behind the song, which I read first… and yet I still wasn’t expecting this…
We’ve had one other showtune/broadway song and that was by @Remmy… now, I gave that song a 10, so your own musical number has a lot to live up to…
And, my, does it. I… I don’t think there’s a single thing about this that I didn’t enjoy. Reading it, from beginning to end, there was just a huge grin on my face. This is pure camp, it’s hilarious, and it’s GENIUS. First off… Jennifer Coolidge? Well, you had me there already. But, I could actually read her spoken parts literally in her voice, it was so fitting, and so humorous. You pulled that off brilliantly, cause it could’ve been BAD if done unsuccessfully, but this is not that. Second, the song itself… the absolute genius and messiness of this concept is just perfect. So Jennifer Coolidge is looking for a resting place and she meets a fraudster shark who takes her on a tour around his ocean property… HOW did you think of this? What drugs did you take, because I need some too. I mean it’s just so absurd that it’s amazing. This is one of, if not the, most creative things we’ve seen in these three seasons. And then, the lyrics… they are good too! Like everything else aside, this is still a really well written song! All the imagery, the comedy imbued in the writing, the catchiness and vividness.. it just leaps off the page. It’s just so good. I want to see this in real life! This needs to be a thing. Send it to Jennifer right now! I also love that, for as much as it’s campy, there are also some major points made! Like it’s very tongue in cheek, but the dissection of death and its aftermath (“perhaps you go another route and burn into a crisp, your body turns to rubble and your memory an ashen wisp, and then your nephew stores you on a shelf forgetting you exist!” I mean come on, the material here) is also so good! There, truly, wasn’t a thing I didn’t completely love about this.
So... the broadway/showtune songs are 2/2 for 10s I guess.

 
 

Edited February 11, 2023 by fountain

[Legend E]

5 hours ago, fountain said:

not my review for @Legend E passing the 500 word challenge from season 1 

I was scared when I first saw this fjsjs;

 

Thank you so much for the review

[Element]

23 minutes ago, fountain said:

NO! 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

okay, yes, just for you 

 
 



 

@Element - Heaven In The Deep
Ok THIS…. I was not expecting this… and you even wrote an explanation behind the song, which I read first… and yet I still wasn’t expecting this…
We’ve had one other showtune/broadway song and that was by @Remmy… now, I gave that song a 10, so your own musical number has a lot to live up to…
And, my, does it. I… I don’t think there’s a single thing about this that I didn’t enjoy. Reading it, from beginning to end, there was just a huge grin on my face. This is pure camp, it’s hilarious, and it’s GENIUS. First off… Jennifer Coolidge? Well, you had me there already. But, I could actually read her spoken parts literally in her voice, it was so fitting, and so humorous. You pulled that off brilliantly, cause it could’ve been BAD if done unsuccessfully, but this is not that. Second, the song itself… the absolute genius and messiness of this concept is just perfect. So Jennifer Coolidge is looking for a resting place and she meets a fraudster shark who takes her on a tour around his ocean property… HOW did you think of this? What drugs did you take, because I need some too. I mean it’s just so absurd that it’s amazing. This is one of, if not the, most creative things we’ve seen in these three seasons. And then, the lyrics… they are good too! Like everything else aside, this is still a really well written song! All the imagery, the comedy imbued in the writing, the catchiness and vividness.. it just leaps off the page. It’s just so good. I want to see this in real life! This needs to be a thing. Send it to Jennifer right now! I also love that, for as much as it’s campy, there are also some major points made! Like it’s very tongue in cheek, but the dissection of death and its aftermath (“perhaps you go another route and burn into a crisp, your body turns to rubble and your memory an ashen wisp, and then your nephew stores you on a shelf forgetting you exist!” I mean come on, the material here) is also so good! There, truly, wasn’t a thing I didn’t completely love about this.
So... the broadway/showtune songs are 2/2 for 10s I guess.

 
 

 Oh my god I didn’t expect this!!! Thank you so much! The way I literally wasn’t even on drugs coming up with this ahhhhh 

[fountain]

13 minutes ago, Element said:

 Oh my god I didn’t expect this!!! Thank you so much! The way I literally wasn’t even on drugs coming up with this ahhhhh 

We’ve been toying with the idea of a challenge where we’d ask for songs written with more outside the box, absurd themes and tbh this is kinda the perfect example for it like… your mind

[fountain]

17 minutes ago, Legend E said:

I was scared when I first saw this fjsjs;

 

Thank you so much for the review

 tbh looking at mine they seem to mostly be around 400 words or so, I must be long winded or something idk. Although I always feel like I actually said nothing after I finish writing them and wish I wrote more  but they already take long enough so asdfghjkll. They kinda serve rambles to me too but I write them quite stream of consciousness and in the moment right after reading, and I like keeping that initial reaction tbh. Not this being another rant too I…

 

Anyway you’re welcome I very much enjoyed the song

[Legend E]

9 minutes ago, fountain said:

 tbh looking at mine they seem to mostly be around 400 words or so, I must be long winded or something idk. Although I always feel like I actually said nothing after I finish writing them and wish I wrote more  but they already take long enough so asdfghjkll. They kinda serve rambles to me too but I write them quite stream of consciousness and in the moment right after reading, and I like keeping that initial reaction tbh. Not this being another rant too I…

 

Anyway you’re welcome I very much enjoyed the song

Ah no, I didn't mean it in that way, I love your long reviews! I just remember that one of your longer reviews for me in the first season was not one of the positive ones so that's why I was a bit scared

 

[sugarshine]

Gonna finish my dolphin song today, I feel like a music factory churning out these bops (aka Carly Rae Jepsen)

Dolphin Dive (I'm not sure if this will be the official title yet) is like my pre-release single nn and my real debut single will be the Round 4 song

 

Also, fun game - sing this in a similiar melody/tone as Owl City's Fireflies or Britney's Alien:

 

I’m just like you, except I’m not
I’m a dolphin with a heart deeper than the ocean
I wave at you, you strange alien
With four limbs, got a nose pointier than my fin

 

The melody makes it sound like a masterpiece

 

This dolphin song is giving future fusion - it kinda sounds electronic like PC Music, dance, indie with a little bit of a rap flow and shaking ass It kinda sounds like a drag queen song too. This dolphin is dragging these humans through the barnacle floor. I might take out the parts of the song that sound a little more like you could twerk to it... but I also live for it? We'll see! I can totallyyy hear MARINA sing this but I also hear Britney (like Gimme More, Piece of Me or Just Like Me) and even a dash of Katy Perry. I might as well name the whole music industry ajkhfajdh

 

[Legend E]

4 hours ago, sugarshine said:

Gonna finish my dolphin song today, I feel like a music factory churning out these bops (aka Carly Rae Jepsen)

Dolphin Dive (I'm not sure if this will be the official title yet) is like my pre-release single nn and my real debut single will be the Round 4 song

 

Also, fun game - sing this in a similiar melody/tone as Owl City's Fireflies or Britney's Alien:

 

I’m just like you, except I’m not
I’m a dolphin with a heart deeper than the ocean
I wave at you, you strange alien
With four limbs, got a nose pointier than my fin

 

The melody makes it sound like a masterpiece

 

This dolphin song is giving future fusion - it kinda sounds electronic like PC Music, dance, indie with a little bit of a rap flow and shaking ass It kinda sounds like a drag queen song too. This dolphin is dragging these humans through the barnacle floor. I might take out the parts of the song that sound a little more like you could twerk to it... but I also live for it? We'll see! I can totallyyy hear MARINA sing this but I also hear Britney (like Gimme More, Piece of Me or Just Like Me) and even a dash of Katy Perry. I might as well name the whole music industry ajkhfajdh

 

We are ready

[sugarshine]

53 minutes ago, Legend E said:

We are ready

yas, I just sUBMITTED!!

 

 

I might design cover art for it later too!

I'm so shook I managed to write a song in less than 24 hours, it nearly took me out but Gloria Gayner said I Will Survive.vinyl

 

I wrote most of the song in like 15 mins - I feel like the lyrics and creative juices just flow when I write quick

 

brb imma go Dolphin Dive twerk in the middle of the bermuda triangle  

(it's more of a philosophical/social commentary song and kinda sad  but there are a few parts you can pop your cat and dance to like it is 2011 the lyrics are giving Save The Dolphins but the beat and melody would be giving Blackout/Planet Y2K/FROOT)

Edited February 11, 2023 by sugarshine

[Euterpe]

9 hours ago, fountain said:

NO! 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

okay, yes, just for you 

 
 



 

@Element - Heaven In The Deep
Ok THIS…. I was not expecting this… and you even wrote an explanation behind the song, which I read first… and yet I still wasn’t expecting this…
We’ve had one other showtune/broadway song and that was by @Remmy… now, I gave that song a 10, so your own musical number has a lot to live up to…
And, my, does it. I… I don’t think there’s a single thing about this that I didn’t enjoy. Reading it, from beginning to end, there was just a huge grin on my face. This is pure camp, it’s hilarious, and it’s GENIUS. First off… Jennifer Coolidge? Well, you had me there already. But, I could actually read her spoken parts literally in her voice, it was so fitting, and so humorous. You pulled that off brilliantly, cause it could’ve been BAD if done unsuccessfully, but this is not that. Second, the song itself… the absolute genius and messiness of this concept is just perfect. So Jennifer Coolidge is looking for a resting place and she meets a fraudster shark who takes her on a tour around his ocean property… HOW did you think of this? What drugs did you take, because I need some too. I mean it’s just so absurd that it’s amazing. This is one of, if not the, most creative things we’ve seen in these three seasons. And then, the lyrics… they are good too! Like everything else aside, this is still a really well written song! All the imagery, the comedy imbued in the writing, the catchiness and vividness.. it just leaps off the page. It’s just so good. I want to see this in real life! This needs to be a thing. Send it to Jennifer right now! I also love that, for as much as it’s campy, there are also some major points made! Like it’s very tongue in cheek, but the dissection of death and its aftermath (“perhaps you go another route and burn into a crisp, your body turns to rubble and your memory an ashen wisp, and then your nephew stores you on a shelf forgetting you exist!” I mean come on, the material here) is also so good! There, truly, wasn’t a thing I didn’t completely love about this.
So... the broadway/showtune songs are 2/2 for 10s I guess.

 
 

Exactly!!! 

[fountain]

oh wow... oh WOW... 

 

finishing my remaining reviews currently 

[sugarshine]

I lowkey feel like I've written THE perfect MARINA & Britney collab, which is a combination no one would even think of I could even hear Ariana do some whisper vocals and whistle tones in the background. ***** I'm gagged

[fountain]

@Element i forgot to say your song reminded me of like an under the sea x be my guest crossover in such a good way. just remembered this because @Euterpe's is reminding me somewhat of part of your world. 

[fountain]

@sugarshine your google doc isn't open, you need to change the sharing permissions so that anybody with the link can view it

[sugarshine]

2 minutes ago, fountain said:

@sugarshine your google doc isn't open, you need to change the sharing permissions so that anybody with the link can view it

done!

[fountain]

 

Round 3: Way of Water

 

DatChickDoe - Graveyard Rain

It was a real shame seeing your ranking drop last week, but I’m here to say thankfully I think this song is a massive improvement! This piece does a much better job of showcasing your writing ability and is definitely overall a much more well written song in pretty much every way, I feel. Right off the bat I have to praise your imagery and descriptions here as I think you have thoroughly crafted a vivid picture here throughout the song and a vibe that is easy to take away from the song, with your dark descriptions of blood curdling, banshee screams, vicious claws and of course the overall image of the central graveyard and its rain. The treatment that this song received is exactly what I think was lacking from your last entry, all of these descriptors and usages of imagery really make the song feel alive and lift it up, which was what was missing from your last song I feel. It’s not necessarily just that this song is darker or more serious in theme but rather than this writing overall is a much better showcase of your talents for writing, and I believe that even with a song that deals with a lighter theme you can approach writing the song in the same way and imbue it with the same degree of illustration to really bring the song to life, so that’s a little bit of advice for the future, try to keep this same approach going in the future because I think it worked out great in this song! My only other pointer would be that I think this song could’ve had a bit more of a clearer narrative to it, although the imagery completely excels and paints a picture of this person and what they may be going to, I do think that it lacks a little bit of context to it, so while it conjures up these images we don’t really know the story behind it necessarily (why they are going through this, what it is that are going through, etc.), so that could be something that I think would’ve made this strong even stronger and could be something to think about for future entries. But, overall, this is a massive improvement over last round and definitely a return to form for you which is great to see, well done!

 

Julia Fox - your sea destroyed me - like a tsunami

Oh Julia, first off, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. That is heartbreaking.

But I have to commend you because even while going through that, you’ve managed to write this song, which is just beautiful. I definitely think this is one of your magnum opuses of what we have seen you write during Golden Hit, this is simply just a really melancholic, touching and vivid song. Your use of water imagery is really nice and covers a wide breadth of inspiration such as of course the sea and tsunamis as the title would suggest, but also more interesting water adjacent imagery such as islands, Atlantis, bathing suits, mermaids, and the moon, which overall help create a diverse imagery to your song which really pairs well with the water theme, as rather than just having 100% description of water after water after water, you’ve kept it very interesting by bringing in things associated with water while not continually mentioning water itself which I really enjoyed. I have to say emotionally I always find your songs pretty resonant but I do feel that this is definitely one of your most touching songs to date, the way you have described an unsuccessful endeavour with love here is really just simply well done and I do think you have a great skill for depicting and dissecting relationships in your writing, as I feel like some of your most memorable and impactful writing that we have seen has been in relation to this theme (perhaps because it is more directly inspiring or relatable to you? There is something about your relationship related songs that just feels so genuine. Perhaps something to think about). Overall I just found this to be a lovely but bittersweet song, and as a final note I loved the twist at the end which I found to be both equal parts entertaining yet also quite poignant in a way which left me with a smirk but also something to think about and ponder. Great job!

 

Legend E - Dilute Me

Oh wow oh wow I absolutely love this concept… to actively try to dilute oneself in an attempt to be lesser, to tone yourself down and to not be “too much” is actually such a genius interpretation of the water theme WHEW! This is so good. It reminds me of Lorde’s Liability to me in a way because it is coming from the perspective of this narrator who feels they are too much, or has been told or lead to believe that they are too much, and their reflection upon this which I find to be a really interesting theme for a song (I love self analysing and self reflective lyrics!). What I like about this a lot is that is has that same fragility and that same worry that Liability has, but I feel you have also put your own spin on it and made it your own thing by also bringing in the ideas of self betterment and looking at this feeling while actually being in a relationship and asking the other person for help or for a chance to ~dilute~. Honestly the dilution concept is just honestly brilliant and the chorus took this idea and demonstrated it so well, particularly in the second and closing lyric of the chorus which I LOVE; I think this could’ve been a really hard concept to pull off and if done even slightly wrong it might make the song seem awkward and the idea not really spring to life, but I actually think you have pulled it off perfectly. What I also like from this is that it is probably one of your more hopeful or optimistic songs. Now, it still has a lot of depth because it is actively discussing and dealing with this person’s faults and insecurities, but I adore that you have chosen to give it more of a hopeful or possibility filled spin on it (even though it’s mostly the narrator kind of pleading, I think that shows that the narrator is aware that there IS a chance for hope) when it actually could have been easily taken down your usual dread/hopelessness route (which wouldn’t have been bad, but we love to see different tones and people trying different things), and I actually think ultimately it ends up feeling quite subtly beautiful to me (the way this narrator has some hope that this person can help them, the way that they trust this person to help them, it’s lovely). I think this entry has shown that you’ve been listening to the feedback you’ve been getting, while also staying true to your own type of writing, and this song felt like a great balance to me where you’ve managed to write about the topic and the frame of mind that you wanted, but also succeeded in putting more of an emotive spin on it. Overall, while I’ve enjoyed each of your entries this season, I actually think this is the most well rounded one thus far and I am hopeful to see that reflected in your score/ranking. Great job.

 

beatinglikeadrum - Two Faces of The Water (Force of Nature)

Something that I feel is usually present in your writing, and something that I have come to love about it from what we have seen, is that you always manage to take these really interesting (and almost mythical feeling) ideas and pull them off really well; this song is no different and anything great example of this skill that you have. This is a really cool concept and I love the way that you have humanised and given the water elements of your song characteristics and personas which make them feel life like, whether human or deity (which is what I pictured them as myself because, as I say, I relate a lot of your writing and ideas as feeling quite mythical so it was very easy for me to picture these bodies of water and their spirits as being like water deities), or even just unknown force of nature. The way you pulled this off through showing the ways in which water can be both beautiful, giving and serene, yet also destructive, taking and uncontrollable was really strong and I think was a really good interpretation of the water theme this round because it's true that water can be some of the most beautiful stuff on the planet, and also some of the most dangerous, and I think you demonstrated that well. Lyrically as usually this was very grandiose and vivid, which have become synonymous with your entries for me, as usual you painted a really thorough and alluring picture of the world that this song comes from. 

 

worldwide angel - just the same

Ooooh I really like the inspiration and the imagery here. Depicting water as emotion itself is a brilliant idea, both in the way that they are so easily affected and can change shape so easily, and also in the fact that they are innate inside of us (like, the fact that our bodies are composed literally of water and that our emotions can feel trapped inside us, like that water… so smart). Not only do I love the idea but the way you have eloquently portrayed it here, particularly with the “waves rise high to blood red skies” and “little droplets trickle down the shore” (which I took to be crying?) lines which took this idea and really made it a poignant showcase of how emotions are a part of us. The narrative here itself is beautiful, I mean it’s a simple one but sometimes those can hit the hardest and I think this is an example of what that does… I think a lot of people can relate to drowning out and masking our emotions, and the depiction of this in the song, and the eventual revelation that you should let yourself feel these emotions and be “submerged in every sentiment” is just a really simple yet beautiful message that we all know to be true and we all need to hear at times. This song fulfils that purpose excellently and is overall a wonderful interpretation of the water challenge. I do think the song could be expanded upon as there is certainly room for a bridge or further verses, however as you say this is a strong foundation for a song, and I love what is said here regardless. Really great job.

 

@Invisibility - Water Breaks in a Lunar Mare

WHAAAAAAAAAAT. Omg. I am actually stunned at you taking this water theme challenge and using it as an opportunity to write about your birth and have it be represented through the amniotic fluid… like wow I could not have ever expected such an interpretation of this challenge, this is simply amazing. This is just a beautiful song honestly, from beginning to end. The description of your formation and eventual premature birth and what led to it is just stunning… “stunning” really would be the overall adjective I’d give this song because it’s just so far from anything that I expected, but so perfect and such a thoughtful take on the challenge. It truly shocked me, in the greatest way. This will be among my shorter reviews, but that’s because I don’t really think there is anything to try and pick apart or provide commentary on here; it’s just a remarkable written piece and a spectacular use of the challenge to write something so touching and personal. Really, really amazing job. Every entry of yours just keeps getting better, and I hope the upwards trajectory continues on even from here! So good. This will definitely stand out as one of the most memorable entries from this game for me, I find this to be a rare stroke of brilliance and artistry. 

 

@JoeAg - Float When They Expect You to Reach Abyssal Plains

Your writing, as ever, is beautiful. You truly have a way with words and an experience with them that comes through clearly in your writing, each word feels full of purpose and your ideas always come through as visualised in a way that seems stylised and determined in your own distinctive way. If we received these songs anonymously and had to point out who we thought each entry belonged to, there’s no doubt we’d be able to easily pinpoint yours, and that’s definitely a testament to your unique writing and creativity. I love to see unique writing like this that is full of identity and you always provide that, and I think that innate writing talent that you have means that whatever you write will always have a stand out quality to it. However, something that I think used to be a feedback we’d apply was that sometimes the narrative could be a little hard to follow, or rather not necessarily hard to follow but just a little unclear in a way, and I think this specific song brings me back to that a little bit. I took this to be a song about succumbing to depression, and that it ultimately becomes a message to a younger sibling to not go through the same things, but I think with the way the narrative throughout this song plays out it is a little hard to be totally sure. I think it’s good to leave songs open to interpretation and for them to have an enigmatic quality to them because it only pulls the reader in more, but in this singular case I found myself questioning more in an uncertain way rather than out of interest. For example, there were some lines that kind of through me off from the narrative I was supposed to be following, for example we go from lines saying “my friends and everyone else I have loved will always remember me”, to “no one to connect with”, and then we come to the section beginning with “as for you, young one” which kind of confused me because at first it paints a picture of somebody who has friends and family who love them, and then it suggests that this person actually has nobody, but then they directly addresses a specific person so it leaves me questioning exactly what the situation is supposed to be for this person, and who exactly it is that they are talking to, if that makes sense? Do they have nobody, what lead them to these feelings, what exactly is their situation? Even looking back at it now I’m not sure if they are supposed to be addressing a literal person or rather something metaphysical… I think it was mainly that “no one to connect with” verse that confused me because that really depicts the narrator as somebody who truly has nothing, and I get that depression can make a person *feel* that way, but I felt the way that it was written made it seem more that this person literally had nothing and that was why they were feeling this way and had lost their surefootedness, if this makes sense? Hopefully it does, because I imagine despite everything I said and my interpretation it probably all has its own meaning to you and probably wouldn’t read in the same way, but that’s kinda my point really, that each reader has to try and find their own meaning in what is written and sometimes it might not come so clearly, especially if you have a more impressive poetic style, so it can kinda be hard to find the balance between keeping that stylistic expression but also keeping the intention of the narrative clear, and reading this specific song in this specific iteration I did find it a little murky. But the thing is that regardless of this (which I’m feeling like I said all in a really long winded way asdfghjkl) your writing is still fantastic and even if the narrative didn’t totally resonate with me I think this is still a quality song that demonstrates your talent for writing, but my piece of advice for the future would be to try and be certain that even the most unknowing of readers (i.e. me) can come away from the song having a more definitive understanding of what the meaning behind it and the narrative of the song was, because that’s where it can be easy to falter with poetic writing like this.

 

@Euterpe - Dive

I love the inspiration behind this song, diving is such an interesting, yet as you said dangerous, activity that I feel a lot of us might not have experienced due to fears about that danger (particularly if it is free diving specifically), yet it is something that we can vividly picture and fantasise about, and I think this song takes us deep into that fantasy. I love the depiction of the water here as a place of beauty, but also as a place of mystery and the unknown, and showing that through the act of diving and being aware of “the crown” down there was a great example of this idea. I also really like how you depict the water as a place of freedom for our narrator, saying that standing on the shore and merely wading in the water was not enough, but that they wanted more (Ariel teas), and finding their freedom diving deeper and deeper in the water is a really vivid and beautiful image. Something about this song that I think I’d mention but really isn’t a criticism but rather just a take away from it is that I think there was so much potential with the theme here, like the dangers of the diving activity weren’t even explored much here, and you even could have taken it way deeper (literally) and questioned why this person has this affinity (and maybe even obsession…) with diving and why they need that to feel free… again NOT a criticism but rather a suggestion of different ways you could have explored the topic and things that could’ve added to the narrative.  

 

Element - Heaven In The Deep

Ok THIS…. I was not expecting this… and you even wrote an explanation behind the song, which I read first… and yet I still wasn’t expecting this…

We’ve had one other showtune/broadway song and that was by Remmy… now, I gave that song a 10, so your own musical number has a lot to live up to…

And, my, does it. I… I don’t think there’s a single thing about this that I didn’t enjoy. Reading it, from beginning to end, there was just a huge grin on my face. This is pure camp, it’s hilarious, and it’s GENIUS. First off… Jennifer Coolidge? Well, you had me there already. But, I could actually read her spoken parts literally in her voice, it was so fitting, and so humorous. You pulled that off brilliantly, cause it could’ve been BAD if done unsuccessfully, but this is not that. Second, the song itself… the absolute genius and messiness of this concept is just perfect. So Jennifer Coolidge is looking for a resting place and she meets a fraudster shark who takes her on a tour around his ocean property… HOW did you think of this? What drugs did you take, because I need some too. I mean it’s just so absurd that it’s amazing. This is one of, if not the, most creative things we’ve seen in these three seasons. And then, the lyrics… they are good too! Like everything else aside, this is still a really well written song! All the imagery, the comedy imbued in the writing, the catchiness and vividness.. it just leaps off the page. It’s just so good. I want to see this in real life! This needs to be a thing. Send it to Jennifer right now! I also love that, for as much as it’s campy, there are also some major points made! Like it’s very tongue in cheek, but the dissection of death and its aftermath (“perhaps you go another route and burn into a crisp, your body turns to rubble and your memory an ashen wisp, and then your nephew stores you on a shelf forgetting you exist!” I mean come on, the material here) is also so good! There, truly, wasn’t a thing I didn’t completely love about this.

So, the broadway/showtune songs are 2/2 for 10s I guess.

 

@TruGemini - Dive II

Okay first of all, referencing your first ever Golden Hit song “Dive” with this is so cute and such a sweet addition, I love it.

Something that I really appreciate about this song is how it demonstrates that to find change in life, it sometimes (not for everybody) is a thing that you yourself need to embrace and step up to (as the song says) and rather something that just happens on it’s own (as much as we may want it to), and I find the discussion of this and how it is exemplified in the song actually pretty empowering overall because a lot of us can get stuck in our ways and know that we are not our best self or achieving as much as we can, and to see that change or the fruits of life we need to wade in it, bathe in it etc. as I think this song so nicely showcases. The lyrics I specifically love were “you can take a dive if you want to, put all tragedy aside if you want to, you can even take your time if you want to, you can pray to the divine if you want to” because I think it really shows how each individual is different and needs to go about life in their own way because for some people it may take more time, some others may already be ready for change, some may look to God or some may go about it in their own way, and I thought that this was a really mature and nuanced thing because it really takes into account the fact that everybody is different, the message wasn’t at all preachy and I feel like a less skilled writer would’ve made it come across that way, but with your eloquence and the depth that the message goes here is is truly more about empowerment and made for a great read.

 

sugarshine - Dolphin Dive

First of all, welcome to Golden Hit!

Let me say this is a great first entry. I love the interpretation of the challenge and your boldness not only to write a song about the theme of water, but to literally write a song from the perspective of a dolphin, it’s unique and creative concepts like this that really help make entries stand out and I believe this did a great job of doing so! The dolphin narrator here is so charismatic that it’s hard not to feel for them, and the bittersweetness of the lyrics really drives this home for me with the social commentary touch to the lyrics… because yes the dolphin can feel safe here, but as you say they become a living entertainer and have no freedom of themselves and are left in an unnatural state, and it’s hard whether to know if this is ultimately a good thing or not (even if, and assuming, that it is done with best intentions); I like that the song brought forward and asked these questions, but also that it didn’t outright answer them either, because it leaves things up to the interpretation of the reader and I always love that quality in writing. I actually didn’t expect this to go in as much as it did with the commentary based off of the previews that you posted in the thread, but it actually ended up being my favourite quality of the song and the thing that I appreciated most about this concept. I think you pulled it off really well and have created a great song here, it’s full of lovely imagery and charismatic personality with the dolphin narrator, but it also brings forward deep and emotive questions about animal rights, and I think the two sides were well balanced and overall came together to make a great debut for you. Good job!

Edited February 11, 2023 by fountain

[fountain]

13 minutes ago, fountain said:

sugarshine - Dolphin Dive

First of all, welcome to Golden Hit!

Let me say this is a great first entry. I love the interpretation of the challenge and your boldness not only to write a song about the theme of water, but to literally write a song from the perspective of a dolphin, it’s unique and creative concepts like this that really help make entries stand out and I believe this did a great job of doing so! The dolphin narrator here is so charismatic that it’s hard not to feel for them, and the bittersweetness of the lyrics really drives this home for me with the social commentary touch to the lyrics… because yes the dolphin can feel safe here, but as you say they become a living entertainer and have no freedom of themselves and are left in an unnatural state, and it’s hard whether to know if this is ultimately a good thing or not (even if, and assuming, that it is done with best intentions); I like that the song brought forward and asked these questions, but also that it didn’t outright answer them either, because it leaves things up to the interpretation of the reader and I always love that quality in writing. I actually didn’t expect this to go in as much as it did with the commentary based off of the previews that you posted in the thread, but it actually ended up being my favourite quality of the song and the thing that I appreciated most about this concept. I think you pulled it off really well and have created a great song here, it’s full of lovely imagery and charismatic personality with the dolphin narrator, but it also brings forward deep and emotive questions about animal rights, and I think the two sides were well balanced and overall came together to make a great debut for you. Good job!

@sugarshine 

[fountain]

Will be posting round 4 in the next few hours! 

[sugarshine]

1 hour ago, fountain said:

@sugarshine 

Thank you!! This review made me so happy to read, I'm happy that you liked it. It feels surreal to create something and then have someone else interact with your creation and connect with it.

 

You know... sometimes I get bored being a human being, so why not be a dolphin only if for a night?

 

A charismatic dolphin nnnn

 

Yas, I'm happy the bittersweetness came across. I originally wanted to write the song about the joy of being a dolphin and the cute interactions they have with human beings despite us being different living organisms... but I couldn't ignore reality fffff and I liked delving into the darker element of the topic. I intentionally didn't want to give away too much, especially the social commentary part, I feel like the last line of the song in particular really packs a punch and catches the reader off guard. The beat and melody I came up with though? Lawd, it goes OFF I feel like a social commentary song that is kinda sad with a hot ass beat and flow is the future, and I am here to be THE pioneer-original-trendsette-did it first-did it better-never duplicated visionary legend of all legends

 

Anyway, I feel like it is an interesting topic to write about about there being something that you do that can bring you both joy and suffering. Like dance can make someone feel so free and so trapped at the same time or in different instances. Like how do you relate to that thing that was your happiness, that now brings you sadness. WHEW. The dolphin still enjoys performing in the chorus but they are expected to perform by others so it is not completely liberating. The natural vs unnatural element is also another favourite of mine.

 

Dancing for the world is not like dancing for me

Doing something so natural so unnaturally

 

is one of my fave lyrics!

 

I really tried to sell the similarities between humans and dolphins. After all, we are both mammals and breathe the same air. Imagine if animals could communicate with us in English or any other human language - it would be wild. Animals communicate with each other and are intelligent - they could really be out here shading the girls down in the trees and swamps and we would not understand because we think they are stupid. Like why are humans out here being the only living organism creating robots, making TikTok videos and all the other living organisms are just chilling in the grass. It's weird. Like are humans REALLY the only ones who evolved to be like this? It gives me the ick the more I think about it 

 

I love leaving it open to interpretation because one thing I've learned is that there are multiple perspectives. I'm often left tired because I would talk to myself, make a point about something, then immediately see the flipside and I'm like... gworl I don't know if I can have opinions anymore because I see all sides of the coin including the side where there is no side and the side that contains all sides. Come on dodecahedron! That shape is the most flamboyant shape to ever exist - well, more like its name.

 

I would love to make a part ii to Dolphin Dive where I dive into the high-pitched language of dolphins and communication in general. Imagine a PC Music beat with dolphin squeaks and sound effects that feels like your ears are submerged underwater. ASMR? Sign me up!

 

//

 

OMG... Dive, Dive, Dive II, Dolphin Dive has me cracking up A collective consciousness experience. And a Sharknado franchise tea!

Edited February 11, 2023 by sugarshine

[fountain]

page

[fountain]

page

[fountain]

page

[fountain]

page